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[i习作temp] 还是选择孤军奋战了, issues130, 补缺写的高频,求拍 [复制链接]

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楼主
发表于 2010-2-12 00:51:44 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
每一次作文互改组的加入和解散都让我特别伤心,所在的一些组似乎是已经名存实亡了,很难过,但是自己要坚持下去!!!
从新开始梳理高频,以前没写的或者只有提纲的一并补了!

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 517
TIME: 00:50:15


DATE: 2010/2/11 19:40:48


As seed is to tree so is child to society: they are all the hope of our future. In this sense, more socialized children would construct a more harmonious society. However, the destiny of society relies much on the children’s ability to reform and creation, which should be regarded as the center of our educational purpose.

Undeniably, under the definition of the word ‘socialized’: be more cooperative and fit for social demand, children should be educated with the sense of collaboration to meet current social development’ requirement. With the globalization penetrating into every corner of the world, a harmonious international society is based on keen cooperation. Environmental problems could not be solved only with few countries, multilateral conferences are required to settle this issue down; international security does not mean the minority’s appeals and dedication, only with the participation of all countries can we maintain our precious peace. In addition, not only the global issues but also the operation in any communities cries for close collaboration: following with the invention of assembly line in Ford, the cooperation between different parts of manufacturer guarantees the high productivity and low price. We can say without exaggeration that nowadays achievement is the fruit of cooperation, and future prosperity also cannot get rid of it.

However, for social progress will never stop on any stages forever, another important characteristic for our children is more crucial for development: the ability and courage to push changes forwards.

Firstly, technological and scientific advancement requires researchers to be more critical and skeptical for what the current world presents. Scanning through the history of human beings, every significant reform and evolution in science, which brings advantage for our society, is the consequence of a challenge to the old principles. Without the suspicion for ancient notion for the structure of molecule, Dolton could not carry out his theory of atom; without skepticism towards former claim for fiscal economy, Keynes could not establish his new economic model helping European countries get rid of recession. Every time of suspicion, human beings get an opportunity to remand what is wrong, create a more suitable theory for social development.

Furthermore, the courage to press advancement should be endowed to our children as well, since the pain and scarifying in the ongoing process is inevitable. An individual afraid of the punishment from authority is not capable to contribute to our society albeit they may possess a brilliant brain: because they would not publish his works which conflict with high class’s interest. Bruno, an excellent scientist in Renaissance, releases his questions towards religious theory about the universe. Although confronted with the severe punishment from authority, he insisted on his theory and devoted himself to spread this truth. Eventually, this theory brings a giant evolution and improvement in area of astronomy.

In conclusion, the current educational idea is remained imperfect in many aspects. Along with the education on socialized characteristics, we also are obligated to cultivate our children with skepticism and the courage for initial campaign for evolution, thus, next generations are able to maintain our world’s peace and accelerate our development for a better society.

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沙发
发表于 2010-2-12 01:08:14 |只看该作者
第一句虽然漂亮,但是感觉逻辑有问题。种子可以长成树,但孩子不能长成社会,孩子长成成年人,成年人组成/支撑/改变社会……可以仔细观察一下题目原句。

看到However眼前一亮,重点来了,所以说之前那段不是重点的好像太长了点,不够扣题。这样一来有点比例失调。

我是新人,说说自己的看法,说的不对的地方也请包涵。
欢迎回拍。

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板凳
发表于 2010-2-12 23:28:19 |只看该作者
2# arguthin
如果要回拍的话请把文章的链接留下吧

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地板
发表于 2010-3-1 09:23:15 |只看该作者
请问楼主考试结束了吗? 我还没有组组。 我3.12考。
人心似海,要么用许多东西去填,要么生出许多搅扰来。

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RE: 还是选择孤军奋战了, issues130, 补缺写的高频,求拍 [修改]

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还是选择孤军奋战了, issues130, 补缺写的高频,求拍
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1060129-1-1.html
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