Phoenix小组组员1号习作issue88

Jane114UID: 2681579

In this era of remarkable social and technological progress leading to obvious change of people's way of lives,perhaps no one is able to living out of the influence of the technologies absolutely. As is universally-accepted, technologies influence social customsand ethics widely, however, squarely claiming that technologies not onlyinfluence but actually determine social customs and ethics is not easy to be agreed.

First of all, undoubtedly, it is technology that brings us unprecedented convenient and comfortable lives. When feeling thirty and hot, we only need to open the fridge to get a tin of cool Cola, when feeling cold, we just need to push a button to turn on the air-condition, when feeling lonely, we simply need tophone our friends for chatting. This kind of life is so nice that some of us tend to think that to be a common person today is even better than a king inantiquity.

Actually, the influences which technologybrings us are not that shallow, they have already permeated our social customsand ethics unconsciously. In the past two decades, an indispensable way for Chinesepeople to celebrate Spring Festival is to visit their relatives and friends.But with the popularization of mobile telephone in China, in recent years, this kind of social custom is gradually substituted by sending short-messages to wish them a good new year. In addition, with the prevalence of Internet, the emergence of cyber crime changes our traditional ethics of defining the conceptof crime. These are the changes of social customs and ethics around us caused by technology progress.

However, on one hand, we should not make the hasty conclusion that technologies will determine social customs, for the formation of a particular social custom is so intricate that it involves myriad factors like religion, culture and politics. So, no matter how significantly the technology developed, some radical social customs are not at all affected.For example, within the process of social industrialization, which is a result from technology progress, a lot of farmer in China go to work at factories where far from home instead of farm. But this has not change the custom of family-get-together during the Spring Festival. Despite the long distance,every one is eager to go home.

On the other hand, we should not make thehasty conclusion that technologies will determine social ethics neither. On thecontrary, social ethics can in turn restrict the development of technologies which seriously breach them. As mentioned above, the emergence of cyber crimes due to the development of the computer technology. But just because we callit "cyber crime", this indicates that this kind of computer techniqueoffences against public morality, so that it is restricted by the law.

To sum up, technologies influence social customs and ethics inevitably, but to claim that "not only influence but also determine" is more or less exaggerated, for the formation of aparticular social custom or ethic is so intricate that we can not ascribe it merely to technologies.

ningbo1990UID: 2641538

In this era of remarkable social and technological progress leading to obvious change of people's way of lives,(以为同仁说范文上东西不要用，所以我也说同样的话把，范文东西不要用。） perhaps no one is able to living out of the influence of the technologies absolutely. As is universally-accepted, technologies influence social customs and ethics widely, however, squarely claiming that technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics is not easy to be agreed.

First of all, undoubtedly, it is technology that brings us unprecedented convenient and comfortable lives. When feeling thirty and hot, we only need to open the fridge to get a tin of cool Cola; when feeling cold, we just need to push a button to turn on the air-condition; when feeling lonely, we simply need to phone our friends for chatting. This kind of life is so nice that some of us tend to think that to be a common person today is even better than a king in antiquity.

Actually, the influences which technology brings us are not that shallow, they have already permeated our social customs and ethics unconsciously. In the past two decades, an indispensable way for Chinese people to celebrate Spring Festival is to visit their relatives and friends. But with the popularization of mobile telephone in China, in recent years, this kind of social custom is gradually substituted by sending short-messages to wish them a good new year. In addition, with the prevalence of Internet, the emergence of cyber crime changes our traditional ethics of defining the concept of crime. These are the changes of social customs and ethics around us caused by technology progress. (建议把这段的TS放到第二段去，因为第二段开头说技术带来方便生活等显的与customs and ethics不符合，如果把这段TS放第二段，然后第二段作为支持这个TS的一个原因比较好一点。)

However, on one hand, we should not make the hasty conclusion that technologies will determine social customs, for the formation of a particular social custom is so intricate that it involves myriad factors like religion, culture and politics. So, no matter how significantly the technology developed, some radical social customs are not at all affected. (这里可以改进一下，错综复杂的文化就不能被技术影响吗？应该说是根深地固的文化等不受到技术的影响把，如果用根深蒂固后面春节还加上一个中国人根深蒂固的文化就好。) For example, within the process of social industrialization, which is a result from technology progress,（这里哪一种技术，是工厂技术还是运输工具技术可以进一步解释下。） a lot of farmer in China Chinese farmers go to work at factories where far from home instead of farm. But this has not change the custom of family-get-together during the Spring Festival. Despite the long distance, everyone is eager to go home at that day.

On the other hand, we should not make the hasty conclusion that technologies will determine social ethics neither. On the contrary, social ethics can in turn restrict the development of technologies which seriously breach them. As mentioned above, the emergence of cyber crimes due to the development of the computer technology. But just because we call it "cyber crime", this indicates (你在说例子，就是解释TS，你应该进一步解释为什么犯罪侵犯了公共道德，而不是indicate) that this kind of computer technique offences against public morality, so that it is restricted by the law.（网络犯罪这个例子没有很好的证明技术的发展受到了道德约束，1.作者没有说明为什么网络犯罪和道德有关，应该进一步说是侵犯隐私等等。2.网络犯罪和限制技术发展关系没有表面，应该加上限制犯罪软件技术的发展。3.还有一个例子我觉得很好，就是人体克隆技术受到约束，因为违反了人们正常的道德。）

To sum up, technologies influence social customs and ethics inevitably, but to claim that "not only influence but also determine" is more or less exaggerated, for the formation of a particular social custom or ethic is so intricate that we cannot ascribe it merely to technologies.

Advise:
1.作者没有跑题，而且论证很好。
2.作者语言上面没有问题。
3.文章很好！学习了。其他改不出来了。

86145787UID: 2672301

1# Jane114


During this era of remarkable social and cultural progress leading to obvious change of people's views, they have recognized the importance of art unprecedentedly. They are considered as great treasures of human civilization, as shining crystals of human wisdom and as forever-lasting longing for goodliness. Standing in front these brilliant treasures, who has not been excited, shocked or moved by their beauty? Nevertheless, whether a given work conceals ideas and impulse the development(连用三个名词) of society differs from work to work.
First of all, undoubtedly, it is the real life where arts stem from这句话有点雷人. Arts can reflect any用于否定句吧 aspect of the realistic society. The artifacts not only represent people's emotional responses to lifelike happiness or sadness, hope or despair, love or hate, but also reflect people's understanding as well as thought. While these understandings and thoughts in turn make us rethink profoundly about our own lives. Seeing that Jane Eyre persists in seeking equality and happiness, how can we not be inspired by her spirit, no longer feel inferior for ourselves, endeavor to seek for happiness which everyone deserved as actively as she does后两句和第一句的结构不一致，第一句是被动，而后两句就无法理解了。另外最后不要用反问句? It is just the cry
for the gender equality
even the person equality没有这个说法吧 hidden in this novel that arouse the commonalty, stimulate the progress of civilization.这句话得改改，动词太多，一个句子只能有一个真正的动词


Simply put, lots of great works suggest ideas and impulses of our society, which can struck our minds like the thunder, can inspire our thoughts like the philosopher, can bring us hope like the oasis, and at last result in the social progress. 第一个观点，suggest ideas and impulses
However, not all the artifacts reflect the social problems. Some works of art, such as landscape paintings or idylls which only put the artists' praise toward the scenery, are merely straightforward expressing of the artists’ emotion. Such works is for enjoying but rethinking, let alone impelling the social development.第二个观点，转折得很好
Lastly, there are still other works of art which indeed hide some ideas relevant to the society, but such ideas are not the encouragement of the social development.第三种类型，不是社会发展的动力 This is because of that although, as mentioned above, arts stem from real life, they are as well over life. After all the works of artist are not recorders, the world they portray is not exactly the same as the real world. Some subjective comprehensions or feelings of the artists are more or less being in their works. What we have to confess, however, is that some of these comprehension are so wise that can appeal to our mind; what we cannot deny is that there does exist some other artifacts, such as absolutely pessimistic or totally cynical works, are rather extreme or even behindhand. They will provide us no positive philosophy. So, these works cannot impulse the development of society, or even is just the other way.
To sum up, along with the long history, works of art is numerous. Some indeed reflect the ideas of society as well as play a very important role in impulse the development of civilization, while others do not. In that we should look upon them discriminately, but over generally.

总的说来，我觉得文章的结构和论证很不错，只有是些语法错误。