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[a习作temp] 【Big Fish】习作-2.23 Argument10-By Narashy [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-2-23 22:01:38 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 Narashy 于 2010-2-26 09:15 编辑

第一次写,请很拍,多多益善,谢谢!(不知道字数是不是少了点,333)

In this argument, the arguer concludes that retail milk prices should be regulated in order to prevent farmers from getting excessive profits. To support these assertions, the author cites the fact about the national-wide increasing of dairy farms and the increased price of local Market. At first glance, the arguer's reasoning seems to be sound. However, the argument relies on a series unsubstantiated assumptions, which render it unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the author fails to provide any evidence that the product of milk has increased. Although appleaing, the increased number of dairy farms does not necessarily leads to a raise in the product. It is entilely possible that much more farms has been built but many of them are of a relative small scale and uncapable to produce large amount of milk. Even if the assumption that milk product has increased, which is completely unwarranted, is true, it does not follow that the product at local market also increased. As we all know, many factors should be taken into account, such as the quality of local grass and the climate, which has much to do with the cows producing milk.

Second, obviously, the author does not present enough information about the raise in price at local market. It appears possible that, local Excello Food Market provides high-quality milk which is more expensive or the cost of deliverying milk has increased or even the raise of price is due to inflation. However, we can see little sign in the argument that would rule out these cases. Unless it can be shown that earning excessive profits is the major reason of the raised price, the conclusion is unconvincing.

To sum up, the argument that the Bagavia government should control the retail milk prices is not well-supported. To convince me the conclusion, the author should provide clear statistical data about the increased product on milk. To better evaluate the argument, I would need more information about the reasons of raised-price in local market.
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沙发
发表于 2010-2-24 09:29:59 |只看该作者
应该再加一段,一般中间得有三段吧
3-15AW

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板凳
发表于 2010-2-24 21:11:28 |只看该作者
In this argument, the arguer concludes that retail milk prices shouldbe regulated in order to prevent farmers from getting excessiveprofits. To support these assertions, the author cites the fact aboutthe national-wide increasing of dairy farms and the increased price oflocal Market. At first glance, the arguer's reasoning seems to besound. However, the argument relies on a series unsubstantiatedassumptions, which render it unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the author fails to provide any evidence that the productof milk has increased. Although appleaing(这是什么意思?), the increased number ofdairy farms does not necessarily leads to a raise in the product. It isentilely(entirely) possible that much more farms has been built but many of themare of a relative small scale and uncapable(incapable) to produce large amount ofmilk. Even if the assumption that milk product has increased, which iscompletely unwarranted, is true, it does not follow that the product atlocal market also increased. As we all know, many factors should betaken into account, such as the quality of local grass and the climate,which has much to do with the cows producing milk.

Second, obviously, the author does not present enough information aboutthe raise in price at local market. It appears possible that, localExcello Food Market provides high-quality milk which is more expensiveor the cost of delivering(delivering) milk has increased or even the raise ofprice is due to inflation. However, we can see little sign in theargument that would rule out these cases. Unless it can be shown thatearning excessive profits is the major reason of the raised price, theconclusion is unconvincing.

To sum up, the argument that the Bagavia government should control theretail milk prices is not well-supported. To convince me theconclusion, the author should provide clear statistical data about theincreased product on milk. To better evaluate the argument, I wouldneed more information about the reasons of raised-price in local market.

是第一次写吗?首先,字数应该在400字以上,其次,段与段之间可以通过让步来层层递进。其实这篇ARGUE是蛮简单的一篇,再写一遍吧~力图把逻辑结构写完整。
对于盈利类的问题来说,inflation是一方面,市场需求,生产成本等都可以写。其实楼主有idea的,但是都只提了一下,没写深入。建议先读读别人写的文章,把分析做深入一些~~加油!
取次花丛懒回顾,半缘修道GRE

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地板
发表于 2010-2-25 10:04:54 |只看该作者
3# swolf54

谢谢你的意见,我再仔细改改,辛苦了~

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RE: 【Big Fish】习作-2.23 Argument10-By Narashy [修改]

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【Big Fish】习作-2.23 Argument10-By Narashy
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