issue208 作文互改工程 3.25广州

prettywraithUID: 197049

TOPIC: ISSUE208 - "The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."
WORDS: 518
TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2010-2-24 16:29:22

Admittedly, someone like Sherlock Holmes could conceive one complete story about one people only by her/his appearance and behavior. But, in real life, without communication and other personal information, only judging by look, dress, and act is not sufficient to grasp people's attitudes and interests. Moreover, it is unpractical to know much about a society's ideas and values only by observing the people’s outlook and manner.

Scientifically speaking, to reveal people's attitudes and interests only by look, dress and act is not enough. People's attitudes and interests exist objectively. As the concrete displaying forms, people have different characters. Appearance or behavior is only one part of whole characters. Except for appearance and behavior, these characters contain their works, emotion, feeling, and memory. Even some people do not know their own real attitudes and interests. Thus, on basis of communication and personal information is the efficient way to reveal people’s attitudes and interests. At least, without more information about people, we cannot know their position and savors completely.

Moreover, in different careers and jobs, people's appearance and behavior are always restrained with compulsory rules and policies. For example, soldiers servicing in army, they must dress the same costumes with others, and even their behaviors are forced uniformly. In these scenarios, we hardly know people's attitudes and interests in this way. Perhaps, the example in army is too special to persuade you. Actually, many jobs in society ask for people dress in uniforms in work time, while some regulations will prohibit some behaviors in work time. Thus, people's look, dress, and act only give us tiny clues about their attitudes and interest. Sometimes, the clues are useless.

Similarly, for the society, the appearance and behavior of its people are less useful for getting its ideas and values. Generally speaking, getting a society's ideas and values is a tough task which needs to know the society's culture, history, economics and politics. If researchers only observe the appearance and behavior of its society, they cannot get an accurate and complete image about social values. Certainly, like a fragment of one picture, appearance and behavior of people also give useful segment to know the society's ideas and values. For example, American teachers are confused this situation that Chinese students seldom express their own opinions and choose to keep silence in class. In China, to keep silence and let the teacher make a lecture is a traditional way to respect teacher. But, in American, "all men are created equal" is important social value, and students have rights express their own view free in class. But this example only illustrates that the appearance and behavior are useful to know the society's ideas and values, but they cannot tell us much.

With different careers and jobs, appearance and behavior weight differently in expressing their attitudes and interests. But, we must notice attitudes and interests mean a lot for people not only the look, dress and act. So do the society. If we want to know people's attitudes and interests, we need more personal information and have a chance to communicate with them. If we want to know the society's ideas and values, we need more society background, such as history, culture, economics and politics.

gorbyUID: 2730851

1# prettywraith
Admittedly, someone like Sherlock Holmes could conceive one/a complete story about one people only by her/his appearance and behavior. But, in real life, without communication and other personal information, only judging by look, dress, and act is not sufficient to grasp people's attitudes and interests.(这句话前面头略微有点重，建议改下句子结构)
Moreover, it is unpractical to know much about a society's ideas and values only by observing the people’s outlook and manner.

Scientifically speaking, to reveal people's attitudes and interests only by look, dress and act is not enough. People's attitudes and interests exist objectively. As the concrete displaying forms, people have different characters
while
Appearance or behavior is only one part of
them. Except for appearance and behavior, these characters contain their works, emotion, feeling, and memory. Even some people do not know their own real attitudes and interests.（这句话似乎与前后的逻辑关系不大） Thus, on basis of communication and personal information is the efficient way to reveal people’s attitudes and interests. At least, without more information about people, we cannot know their position and savors completely.

Moreover, in different careers and jobs, people's appearance and behavior are always restrained with compulsory rules and policies. For example, soldiers servicing in army, they must dress the same costumes with others, and even their behaviors are forced uniformly. In these scenarios, we hardly know people's attitudes and interests in this way. Perhaps, the example in army is too special to persuade you. Actually, many jobs in society ask for people to dress in uniforms in work time, while some regulations will prohibit some behaviors in work time. Thus, people's look, dress, and act only give us tiny clues about their attitudes and interest. Sometimes, the clues are useless.(可适当加些例子)

Similarly, for the society, the appearance and behavior of its people are less useful for getting its ideas and values. Generally speaking, getting a society's ideas and values is a tough task which needs to know the society's culture, history, economics and politics. If researchers only observe the appearance and behavior of its society, they cannot get an accurate and complete image about social values. Certainly, like a fragment of one picture, appearance and behavior of people also give useful segment to know the society's ideas and values. For example, American teachers are confused this situation that Chinese students seldom express their own opinions and choose to keep silence in class. In China, to keep silence（这里建议用ing形式的动宾结构做主语） and let the teacher make a lecture
is a traditional way to respect teacher/as a result of respecting teachers,students always keep silence and listen to the teacher's lecture quietly . But, in American, "all men are created equal" is important social value, and students have rights express their own view free in class. But this example only illustrates that the appearance and behavior are useful to know the society's ideas and values, but they cannot tell us much.(but 用的比较多，注意下句子之间的逻辑关系)

With different careers and jobs, appearance and behavior weight differently in expressing their attitudes and interests. But, we must notice attitudes and interests mean a lot for people not only the look, dress and act. So do the society. If we want to know people's attitudes and interests, we need more personal information and have a chance to communicate with them. If we want to know the society's ideas and values, we need more society background, such as history, culture, economics and politics.（这两句意思上有点重复，可稍加整合下）

1.作者思路还是很清晰的，论证的话就是要再注意下句子间的逻辑关系，然后多加点例子。
2.语言上就是希望可以多背点长句子，我的语言也看起来不是很地道，和你一样的毛病。。。
个人意见，一起讨论~

gorbyUID: 2730851

2# gorby
加q，我把游字体颜色的修改版发给你啊