issue10 第1篇习作 【自己改了3次】 【心慌，请帮帮我】

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4月19日考试，现在才写成第1篇 i习作。心里特慌，希望1000多元大钞不被自己浪费。。。请教大家意见。不甚感激:)

issue 10 Government's duty to preserve cultural traditions

I agree with the speaker’s broad assertion that giving fund to the major cities is the government’s reasonable and necessary policy. However, the speaker improperly points out the reason that the country’s cultural traditions are mainly generated and conserved in those capital cities, while ignoring a fact that rural area take an more important role in preserving culture traditions. My points of contention with the speaker will be discussed as below:
I concede that the speaker is on the correct philosophical side of this issue. After all, major cities are a significant part both of a nation’s economy and culture, assembled not only by sophisticated science, technology and enterprise which make the cities prosperous but also by various schools, media and museum which satisfy the spiritual needs of people. Moreover, there is a broad belief that superstructure is based on economy of which the growth could promote the population’s level of culture and deepen the nation’s impact in the whole world. Admittedly, without government’s financial support, these cities can neither thrive nor upgrade the cultural level. One apt illustration of this point involves three typical cities: Paris of France, Roma of Italy and London of England. All of them are invested in a large amount of money by their government for development annually, so they can burgeon in different aspects, follow the world’s trend and show their characteristic culture respectively.
Though we must fund the chief cities, I inclined to argue that the rural areas of a nation deserve more attention from the government. First of all, due to the impact of globalization, the cities of the world are being homogenized. Nowadays, in cities, especially large ones,
international media and trade enable different culture to come together, collide or merge in each other naturally, consequently impacting even impairing local traditional culture. To the contrary, a nation’s cultural traditions might be better preserved and generated in rural areas, for the reason of that traditional idea deeply exists in the mind of folk in towns and villages who inherit these tradition from age to age, seldom changed by outside culture. For example,(不会举例了)……
In addition, the increasing trend of urbanization has resulted in the poverty of the countryside, threatening the survival of a nation’s traditional culture. With the financial support, cities develop and expand greatly every year. Most of the young men in the countryside come to the big cities to seek their fortune, while little ones with some old men and children stay in the their hometown. Lacking strong constructors leads to the result that small villages are being poorer and shrink both in area and population; meanwhile threatening the heritance of traditional culture for less and less folk know or succeed the tradition. The last thing we want to see is that the traditional culture disappears one day.举例子又不会。。。
In sum, I agree with government should support the major cities to make the nation thrive and display the distinct culture to the world. Nevertheless, when we come to the issue about preserving a nation’s cultural traditions, the rural area is more worthwhile to get the financial support than the big cities since the former might be better in conserving the cultural traditions. Moreover, their poverty has influenced the preservation of the traditional culture.

mseyjUID: 2730706

对不起，格式太难看了。重发下：

        I agree with the speaker’s broad assertion that giving fund to the major cities is the government’s reasonable and necessary policy. However, the speaker improperly points out the reason that the country’s cultural traditions are mainly generated and conserved in those capital cities, while ignoring a fact that rural area take an more important role in preserving culture traditions. My points of contention with the speaker will be discussed as below:

        I concede that the speaker is on the correct philosophical side of this issue. After all, major cities are a significant part both of a nation’s economy and culture, assembled not only by sophisticated science, technology and enterprise which make the cities prosperous but also by various schools, media and museum which satisfy the spiritual needs of people. Moreover, there is a broad belief that superstructure is based on economy of which the growth could promote the population’s level of culture and deepen the nation’s impact in the whole world. Admittedly, without government’s financial support, these cities can neither thrive nor upgrade the cultural level. One apt illustration of this point involves three typical cities: Paris of France, Roma of Italy and London of England. All of them are invested in a large amount of money by their government for development annually, so they can burgeon in different aspects, follow the world’s trend and show their characteristic culture respectively.

       Though we must fund the chief cities, I inclined to argue that the rural areas of a nation deserve more attention from the government. First of all, due to the impact of globalization, the cities of the world are being homogenized. Nowadays, in cities, especially large ones,   international media and trade enable different culture to come together, collide or merge in each other naturally, consequently impacting even impairing local traditional culture. To the contrary, a nation’s cultural traditions might be better preserved and generated in rural areas, for the reason of that traditional idea deeply exists in the mind of folk in towns and villages who inherit these tradition from age to age, seldom changed by outside culture. For example,(不会举例了)……
   
     In addition, the increasing trend of urbanization has resulted in the poverty of the countryside, threatening the survival of a nation’s traditional culture. With the financial support, cities develop and expand greatly every year. Most of the young men in the countryside come to the big cities to seek their fortune, while little ones with some old men and children stay in the their hometown. Lacking strong constructors leads to the result that small villages are being poorer and shrink both in area and population; meanwhile threatening the heritance of traditional culture for less and less folk know or succeed the tradition. The last thing we want to see is that the traditional culture disappears one day.举例子又不会。。。

      In sum, I agree with government should support the major cities to make the nation thrive and display the distinct culture to the world. Nevertheless, when we come to the issue about preserving a nation’s cultural traditions, the rural area is more worthwhile to get the financial support than the big cities since the former might be better in conserving the cultural traditions. Moreover, their poverty has influenced the preservation of the traditional culture.

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issue10 第1篇习作 【自己改了3次】 【心慌，请帮帮我】4月19日考试，现在才写成第1篇 i习作。心里特慌，希望1000多元大钞不被自己浪费。。。请教大家意见。不甚感激

issue 10 Government's duty to preserve cultural traditions——(10"Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.")

I agree with the speaker’s broad assertion that giving fund to the major cities is the government’s reasonable and necessary policy. However, the speaker improperly points out the reason that the country’s cultural traditions are mainly generated and conserved in those capital cities (major cities 和capital cities不划等号。), while ignoring a fact that rural area take an more important role in preserving culture traditions. My points of contention with the speaker will be discussed as below:

I concede that the speaker is on the correct philosophical side of this issue. After all, major cities are a significant part both of a nation’s economy and culture, assembled not only by sophisticated science, technology and enterprise which make the cities prosperous but also by various schools, media and museum(这三者具有同一性？还有注意单复数…) which satisfy the spiritual needs of people. Moreover, there is a broad belief that superstructure is based on economy of which the growth could promote the population’s level of culture and deepen the nation’s impact in the whole world. Admittedly, without government’s financial support, these cities can neither thrive nor upgrade the cultural level. One apt illustration of this point involves three typical cities: Paris of France, Roma of Italy and London of England. All of them are invested in a large amount of money by their government for development annually, (有歧义) so they can burgeon in different aspects, follow the world’s trend and show their characteristic culture respectively.

Though we must fund the chief cities, I inclined to (be inclined to) argue that the rural areas of a nation deserve more attention from the government. First of all, due to the impact of globalization, the cities of the world are being homogenized. Nowadays, in cities, especially large ones, international media and trade enable different culture to come together, collide or merge in each other naturally, consequently impacting even impairing local traditional culture.(前提是地方文化很明显!没有说明。) To the contrary, a nation’s cultural traditions might be better preserved and generated in rural areas, for the reason of that traditional idea deeply exists in the mind of folk in towns and villages who inherit these tradition from age to age, seldom changed by outside culture. For example,(不会举例了)……(改了3遍，这种问题不应该再出现了。不会举例就不要让这段话悬空中，你能怎么写就怎么写。没有老师帮你做填空题哦~)
In addition, the increasing trend of urbanization has resulted in the poverty of the countryside, threatening the survival of a nation’s traditional culture. With the financial support, cities develop and expand greatly every year. Most of the young men in the countryside come to the big cities to seek their fortune, while little ones with some old men and children stay in the their hometown. Lacking strong constructors leads to the result that small villages are being poorer(据我所知，年轻人外出赚钱，村庄不应该是变穷的吧。) and shrink both in area and population; meanwhile threatening the heritance of traditional culture for less and less folk know or succeed the tradition. The last thing we want to see is that the traditional culture disappears one day.举例子又不会。。。
(囧…)
In sum, I agree with government should support the major cities to make the nation thrive and display the distinct culture to the world. Nevertheless, when we come to the issue about preserving a nation’s cultural traditions, the rural area is more worthwhile to get the financial support than the big cities since the former might be better in conserving the cultural traditions. Moreover, their poverty has influenced the preservation of the traditional culture.

思路不够清晰。大城市需要政府的财政支持发展，你不同意的是它的理由，但你的反驳对我而言毫无说服力。你提出了自己的观点是rural area take an more important role in preserving culture traditions，那么是否应该有城市和农村的比较？而你对农村的重要性的阐述也很薄弱。总之没有点到中心。思路要拓展也要深入。把题目的关键找出来好好分析，把你能想到的东西安排好主次——小建议，加油！