【big fish】3月23日Argument237-by jjooyy

jjooyyUID: 2704028

TOPIC: ARGUMENT237 - The following appeared as part of an article in a local Beauville newspaper.
"According to a government report, last year the city of Dillton reduced its corporate tax rate by 15 percent; at the same time, it began offering relocation grants and favorable rates on city utilities to any company that would relocate to Dillton. Within 18 months, two manufacturing companies moved to Dillton, where they employ a total of 300 people. Therefore, the fastest way for Beauville to stimulate economic development and hence reduce unemployment is to provide tax incentives and other financial inducements that encourage private companies to relocate here."

The article above suggests that Beauville should provide tax incentives and other financial inducements to encourage private companies to relocate there, thus stimulating economic development and reducing unemployment. The suggestion is based on a government report of Dilliton last year. However persuasive it seems, there do exist some fallacies that I would point out as below.

To begin with, the reason why two manufacturing companies moved to Dilliton remains to be seen. The fact that Dilliton reduced company tax rate and offered relocation grant and favorable rates on city utilities does not amount to the major cause for that movement. Perhaps, the location of Dilliton is perfect for the companies to transport their products and to sell them. Or there is valuable resource nearby providing to the companies. Obviously, without comparison with other explanations of the causes, any harsh assumption would be untenable.

In addition, the author also makes a false analog between Dilliton and Beauville. Only if these two places are in the exactly same conditions could the writer compare them without other consideration. Nevertheless, no clear evidence shows this point. In all likelihood, Dilliton has advantages in attracting manufacturing companies, while Beauville has much more disadvantages, such as locations and housing prices. In this sense, companies are unlikely to move into Beauville even if the tax is lower than before.

Finally, even assuming acting the suggestion does attract private companies, whether stimulating economic development and reducing unemployment is still open to doubt. Since the corporate tax rate is low, and relocation grants and favorable rates on city utilities are offered, it is likely that the new companies would bring less tax than the local government offers. Additionally, whether the rate of unemployment could reduce is open to doubt. The manufacturing companies in Dilliton would need much more people than ordinary private companies does. Possibly, the companies in Beauville might hire a small scale of people, which contributes little to the local unemployment.

Therefore, the argument is untenable as it stands. The causes of two manufacturer moving into Dilliton may not be the decresed rax rate, and Dilliton and Beaullive might not be in the same situation. Further, even if there are some private companies moving into Beaullive, whether they could stimulate economy and decrease the rate of unemployment still need more direct evidence.
终于能多说点话了！我要加油！！

wowoyuweiweiUID: 2754055

The article above suggests that Beauville should provide tax incentives and other financial inducements to encourage private companies to relocate there, thus stimulating economic development and reducing unemployment. The suggestion is based on a government report of Dilliton last year. However persuasive it seems, there do exist some fallacies that I would point out as below.

To begin with, the reason why two manufacturing companies moved to Dilliton remains to be seen. The fact that Dilliton reduced company tax rate and offered relocation grant and favorable rates on city utilities does not amount to the major cause for that movement. Perhaps, the location of Dilliton is perfect for the companies to transport their products and to sell them. Or there is valuable resource nearby providing to the companies. Obviously, without comparison with other explanations of the causes, any harsh assumption would be untenable.

In addition, the author also makes a false analogy between Dilliton and Beauville. Only if these two places are in the exactly same conditions could the writer compare them without other consideration. Nevertheless, no clear evidence shows this point. In all likelihood, Dilliton has advantages in attracting manufacturing companies, while Beauville has much more disadvantages, such as locations and housing prices. In this sense, companies are unlikely to move into Beauville even if the tax is lower than before.

Finally, even assuming acting the suggestion does attract private companies, whether stimulating economic development and reducing unemployment is still open to doubt. Since the corporate tax rate is low, and relocation grants and favorable rates on city utilities are offered, it is likely that the new companies would bring less tax than the local government offers. Additionally, whether the rate of unemployment could reduce is open to doubt. The manufacturing companies in Dilliton would need much more people than ordinary private companies does. Possibly, the companies in Beauville might hire a small scale of people, which contributes little to the local unemployment.你可以说说原因，为什么会如此选择在其他地方多招人

Therefore, the argument is untenable as it stands. The causes of two manufacturer moving into Dilliton may not be the decresed rax rate, and Dilliton and Beaullive might not be in the same situation. Further, even if there are some private companies moving into Beaullive, whether they could stimulate economy and decrease the rate of unemployment still need more direct evidence.

哇！我觉得读起来很好了！
每一段的论述很好
尤其是语言，通顺！
不过呢，我觉得你最后一段不用再总结了，可以说说你认为的改进措施以增强。
文中还有一些小的拼写错误，要注意。