argument84,求助大侠

hmwstanleyUID: 2617486

TOPIC: ARGUMENT84 - The following appeared in a memo written by the head of the Gorham School.

"Our school cafeteria should make changes in the lunches that it serves in order to improve the health of our students. Several teachers and I have observed that students who eat these meals tend to eat the main course and the dessert, but seldom finish the vegetable portion. This pattern means that students are missing the vital nutritional benefits of fruits and vegetables, which are typically rich in vitamins and minerals. Therefore, the school cafeteria should serve larger fruit and vegetable portions along with smaller main course and dessert portions. This change will be effective because, according to research conducted at the Rose Children's Hospital, children eat the same amount of food served to them-about 55 percent, on average-no matter what the main course is."
WORDS: 370
TIME: 00:44:36
DATE: 2010/3/25 9:52:30

In this memo, the master of the Gorham School recommends to increase the fruit and vegetable porprotion along with smaller main course and dessert proportion due to the lack of vitamins and minerals. To substantiate his advice,
a observation on students and teachers reflects a less finish about vegetable, which are full of vitamins as well as minerals. Additionally, a research show whatever the main course is
children always eat the about 55% amount of food. However, the argument is fraught with vague, oversimplified and unwarranted assumptions.

Firstly, the head indicates the trend more vegetable and fruit should the students and teachers eat is irrationally based on the insufficient vitamins and minerals they had, which is totally unpersuasive. Because no evidence informs they don not have sufficient fruit and vegetable or there is no other way to achieve these foodstuff contain vitamins and minerals.
Moreover, it is highly possible the service of fruit and vegetable is out enough and the teachers and children had sufficient nutrient ion already. Thus , lack more evidence, the recommendation serve vegetable and fruit largely into the meals is serious sabotaged under the seldom finish the vegetable portion.

Secondly, the threshold problem with the memo is the research the master rely on that children eat about 55% amount of food whatever the main course is . We are not informed how was the research conducted and the participators c hosed whether the sample size can reflect the viewpoint of disproportional people in Gorham School. Moreover, 55%, a doubt ratio, it is mighty even more vegetable and fruit added as the head recommends, the students and teacher can also chose to eat more main source and dessert portions rather than vegetable and fruit. There is no evidence they can and will prefer to eat vegetable and fruit due to the enhance proportion of those, especially, 55% of which they eat may just contain main course and dessert as they do ever before. Carefully examination of the supporting evidence, however, reveals little credential to the author's conclusion.

Before my conclusion, anther fallacy the head neglects, the trends in Rose Children' Hospitals may not inferred the same condition in Gorham School.

To summarize, this argument is vague and unconvinced as it stands.

hmwstanleyUID: 2617486

这几天没有怎么太写~~，看了一些范文，可能掌握还是不够好，但是是否有进步呢？我基本脱离模板了，