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[问题求助] 兄弟我第一次写argu啊~有几个问题想请教下前辈们 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-4-2 10:45:51 |显示全部楼层
1.请问段与段之间的关系需要是递进关系吗?如果作者给出的条件是并列的,如何构造成递进关系呢?
2.argu的字数有限制吗?我好想不能达到500个字。。。。
3.argu和issue对单词的拼写检查严格吗?我发现经常会拼错单词额。。。
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下面是我写的第一篇argu,请各位前辈提些意见,谢谢咯~~~
TOPIC: ARGUMENT1 - The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.

"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."





Giving severalfacts and analysis, the arguer suggests building a new store in Plainsville. Althoughit is convincing on the surface, closer examination will reveal the hiddenflaws as follows in his/her reasoning.

Primarily, thesale of the local running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs doesn’trepresent the same stuff of the store built by the company in the argumentwould also get that sales. Even if it could realize, the shoes and clothing arejust part of the business while the sales of other products may not that high. Aswe know, shoes and clothing are durable products which few people would like tobuy very often. Even if the sales of them are high at the present, it doesn'tmean the sales in the future would also be that high. Maybe recent years’economical environment is good or maybe the local stores are selling therunning shoes and the clothing at a price which couldn't earn too much profit,so it doesn't represent that the store will get a stable income in the future.

Next, evenassuming the running shoes and the clothing is very popular in the city; the local health club's popularity does notnecessarily imply that the store will have a profit. The health club may face some big problems from itselffive years ago: Maybe the equipment was too old to attract customers; maybe theylacked staff who could make the club more attractive, or even maybe the localeconomical environment at that time was not so good that the local people couldnot accept the price of the club. While today, the health club may improve thehardware of the gym; maybe they employed several nice couches, the local economicalenvironment is becoming warm, or even they provide a discount of the price.Apparently, the local residents would be attracted to join the club to havesports under the conditions mentioned above. That couldn't warrant the claimsof the residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. So thisphenomenon of the club today couldn't lend support to building the store inthat city.

Additionally, the'fitness for life' program is not equal to profit. Firstly, the consuming levelof the children may be very low, maybe their parents wouldn't like to spend toomuch money on the children's sporting equipment or so-called health food; secondly,even if the parents would spend money on the products of the store, thechildren couldn't have too much demand on the food and the other products. What'smore ,the arguer doesn't provide the information of the other stores sellingthe products of the same type, we could not justify the assumption of the longterm profit would be nice even if all the reasons he/she mentions in theargument are convincing.

In sum, thisargument is not convincing as it stands. To substantiate it, the arguer need toprovide sufficient evidence to prove the effectiveness of the measuresrecommended in his/her assertion.

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Pisces双鱼座 荣誉版主

发表于 2010-4-2 13:28:31 |显示全部楼层
1.请问段与段之间的关系需要是递进关系吗?如果作者给出的条件是并列的,如何构造成递进关系呢?
2.argu的字数有限制吗?我好想不能达到500个字。。。。
3.argu和issue对单词的拼写检查严格吗?我发现经常会拼错单词额。。。


1.段与段的关系不必然只是递进或并列,最好遵照原文逻辑链的展开模式作出回应(具体请看AW INTRO)
2.字数的话ETS从来没有规定过,你可以看看这篇文章
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=923452&highlight
3.单词拼写错误这种东西,AW INTRO中的评分标准已经明确规定了,楼主最好自行去看看评分标准中。无意的、非持续性的当然影响不大,但如果你隔个两三句就小错不断甚至同一个词连续拼错好几回,你想象下考官怎么看你吧。
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让自己的作文被改主要有以下几种途径:
1、参与/组建互助小组;
2、主动出击,到别人的习作中改别人的文章,然后留下连接请求回拍,大部分版友都会很负责的回拍的;
3、斑竹定期会开习作修改铺,在里面占位置就可以让斑竹修改你的习作;
4、同主题写作时会规定参与的版友按照一定的回贴顺序进行互改;
5、坐等别人来拍,由于习作量很大,这种概率很小,所以效率也很低,建议不要采用。
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紫陌纤尘o0 + 1 赞海王兄~

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In Passion We Trust

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发表于 2010-4-2 14:05:44 |显示全部楼层
2# 海王泪
嘿嘿,实习版主很负责哦~~回答的问题都挺到位呢~~谢谢了哈!!
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海王泪 + 5 ^_^

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发表于 2010-4-2 22:24:45 |显示全部楼层
嘿嘿,小弟还有个不情之请。。。。
请海王泪大哥/大姐帮小弟评价下argu吧。。。毕竟是我的处女帖。。。然后对自己的文章也没什么信心。。
评价其他人的文章我也不够格嘛,刚开始学习呵~~

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RE: 兄弟我第一次写argu啊~有几个问题想请教下前辈们 [修改]

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兄弟我第一次写argu啊~有几个问题想请教下前辈们
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