【1010G精英组】ISSUE&ARGU 习作 by Group Ambition

lvruochenUID: 2792806

4月17号开始
同甘共苦，一起前行
路是自己选择的，要昂起胸膛向前走，真正的幸福就在前方
期望各位版主给予指导

【小组公告】
I48地址
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1093613-1-1.html
今天20:30BS
按照进度走
【小组任务】
   1 按照发放的任务安排 按时交作业 作文至少在改作文的当天的下午17：00之前贴到该贴里，20：30之前改完别人的，晚上20：30分开始BS
   2 互改作文  由于交作业时间有先后之分，楼下的改楼上的，第一个交的改最后交的。写在自己的帖子里，不要开新帖这是基础的互改任务，能够改更多的人的文章的人，也会记录。改完别人的作文可以QQ也可以短消息被改的童鞋。
      逾期未交也未提前讲明原因的童鞋不参加互改
      鉴于互相看一看有利于学习（做了就知道），哪怕只说一句评论也可以，大家可以多改几篇，多多学习
   3 commentary  

     主贴
      https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1087953&page=1&extra=#pid1773872254
      每日更新

      具体参照https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1045838&highlight=  地板
      还可以参照https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1042733-1-2.html  


【个人任务】
1.Economist学习贴
进度全凭自觉，都知道这个有好处

2.单词贴
每天都要去签到

3.备考日志
即使少也要坚持记


【小组成员】
建组成员4.17   
fufan6711           https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1081370&extra=
snowflakecho      https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1079548&extra=
lvruochen           https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1081744&extra=
xiaohaixxx        https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1082734-1-1.html
soonyu              https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1084300&extra=
annke                  https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1088341&extra=

4.21欢迎新朋友
whiteout        https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1077555-1-1.html

lvruochenUID: 2792806

希望大家在文章开头把自己的推理，或者是版主所说的逻辑链图简单的说一下，这样更有利于大家分析思路整体把握

先举个例子，大家看看这样行不行

逻辑链（主要是对题目分析）：
反对观点一：XXXXX--->XXXXX--->XXXXX |
反对观点二：XXXXX--->XXXXX--->XXXXX |-->总论点
反对观点三：XXXXX--->XXXXX--->XXXXX |
反对观点。。。。
主要行文过程
开头XXX--->反对观点一--->反对观点二-->...--->总结

正文XXX
当然，感觉不好看也可以像版主一样用图片

至于ISSUE，列提纲就好了。

至于互改，大家发文章最好先用word的语法检查功能检查一遍，没有问题再发上来，也就是互改不管拼写错误。然后编辑自己的帖子，贴上对每个人的点评和建议，格式自定，不要发新帖。主要是怕文章多了以后太乱，不利于以后总结。然后晚上21.30大家一起在群内讨论该题目BS一下。

好词好句好思路大家挑出来模仿，不要背，防止雷同

lvruochenUID: 2792806

【历史公告】

2010.4.18

新组长上任
现在组长是snow和lrc

请大家跟帖
今天21点开始
不交的算迟交
21点开始改作文
请楼下改楼上的作文
第一层改最后一层
谢谢了

comment正在准备中
都去学习
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1042733-1-2.html

4.19正式开始

2010.4.19

注意了咱们的上交作文是在改作文当天的17.00之前（今天4.19不是，今天是写作文日，按照主群计划）
BS的顺序按照群里的安排，和作文题目不一样，注意查看，不影响作文了
改作文日BS（最早的一次在4.20明天）

根据主群要求
一次BS两个题目
大家提前做备
具体安排见计划

2010.4.20

【1010G精英组】ARGUMENT51 Ambition组回收站 https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1088986-1-1.html
ARGUMENT51
4.22  17：00之前上交

4.21 完成commentary
4.22  20：30BS
注意多预习出一个机动题目，谢谢

2010.4.24
【1010G精英组】ARGUMENT45 Ambition组回收站 https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1090554&extra=
ARGUMENT45
4.25  17：00之前上交
之后进行互改

4.24 完成commentary
4.25  20：30BS  I33 I186
注意多预习出一个机动题目，谢谢

2010.4.26
I50作文地址
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1091117&page=1&extra=

4.26 完成commentary
4.27  20：30BS  三个题目

A188地址
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1092188&page=1&extra=
今天20:30BS
按照进度走

snowflakechoUID: 2783303

抛砖引玉先～～～～～～～～～
53.Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
13年前，研究者研究了一组在受到不熟悉的刺激比如不寻常的气味和未知声音的录音时表现出轻微紧张的25名婴儿。他们发现这些婴儿比其他婴儿更可能在早秋怀孕，而早秋是他们的母亲分泌的melatonin--一种已知会影响一些大脑功能的荷尔蒙--因日照的减少而增加的季节。在今年早些时候所作的跟踪调查中，这些表现出紧张迹象的儿童--现在已经是十几岁--有一半以上认为自己害羞。显然，出生前melatonin的增加导致婴儿期的羞涩并且这种羞涩将延续至生命更晚的阶段。

逻辑链：

因为：25个婴儿表现出轻微紧张且可能在早秋怀孕，而早秋时日照减少，melatonin增加
所以：melatonin增加导致婴儿紧张

因为：跟踪调查表明那些儿童长大后仍认为自己害羞
所以：melatonin增加导致的羞涩将延续至生命更晚的阶段。

攻击点：
1.可能在早秋怀孕是推断的，未说明其是否是确定的事实（主要）
2.表现出轻微紧张不代表羞涩（次要）
3.25名婴儿，样本太小（附带）

Basing on a survey conducted 13 years ago as well as its following－up survey performed much recently, the author concludes that a increasing level of melatonin before birth can clearly leads to shyness in people’s infancy which even last for a long time. The authur’s primary evidence is that 25 infants who are more likely to have been conceived during early autumn, showed mild tension during the survey, while melatonin secreted by their mother during that period would increase as the daylight decreases. The author also indicates that now half of those 25 teenagers indentified themselves as shy.  However, form a logical prospective, the statement suffers from several logical flaws.

First, a threshold problem involves the definition of shyness. The author regarded the signs of being a little nervous as shyness, while fails to define the critical term of shyness. Mild tension of babies may be natural and normal reaction towards unfamiliar stimuli. Without a clear definition, it’s hard to access or judge that whether the 25 infants are shy or not.

Second, as for the detail conceive time, the scientists only found the infants are more likely to have been conceived in early autumn, which indicates it’s only possibility but not confirmed information. The argument is totally unacceptable in logical aspect as the causal relationship between melatonin and shyness in infancy is constructed based on this kind of possibility, but not confirmed facts. Similarly, it’s impossible to link the shyness in adolescent to the maternal level of melatonin without confirming the detail conceived time.

Besides, even though all the above problems would be overcome or tolerated, the sample size of only 25 infants is too small to support such a conclusion, meanwhile, lack of the living background or other associated situation of those infants are extremely unacceptable.

To sum up, the arguer fails to substantiate the claim that melatonin is involved in the shyness of infants and adolescent in that the evidence cited in the analysis doesn’t lend strong support to the argument. The arguer would have to provide an accurate definition of shyness, or verify the concrete conceived time, or amplify the survey to a larger scale, to make the demonstrating procedure more convincing, and make the argument more thorough and logically acceptable.

自己先说一下自己感觉到的问题：
1.速度慢，差不多是一小时一刻钟的成果，377个词。
2.用词重复比较多，想不到好的代替用词。
3.不知道怎么扩展地说一个逻辑错误，达到考虑全面，内容翔实的程度。

关于改作文：谁告诉我该怎么找茬？我只知道怎么从他人的文章中学习可取的地方。

首先：虚心接受fufan的意见，我发现我滴用词和内容都比较空洞，要靠阅读和积累来补。

然后：我的首次改习作：
The memo mainly argues that melatonin produced by mother（这点与原文歧义比较大啊，原文说得不是melatonin，而是melatonin的增加导致羞涩）will clearly make infants shy and shyness will continue into later life. However, evidence given（given evidence比较好吧）do not constitute a logical argument in favor of this conclusion, and fail to provide convincing support making this argument sound and invulnerable.
First of all ,the author fail to analyze why increased levels of melatonin can necessarily cause infants shy. As the evidence provided, only 25 infants were examined in the research thirteen years ago, which could not guarantee the efficiency of research. While, infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice, did not necessarily suggest they were shy.
Even assuming signs of mild distress equals shyness and melatonin can cause infants shy, the process of effectiveness is not presented as above. It is the melatonin affecting some functions of mothers’ brains（说影响大脑功能，但并没有说是影响母亲的大脑并传递给婴儿，可能从胎盘直接影响婴儿的大脑呢？这句还是值得斟酌） that may pass to infants. Actually, this effect is （是不是用may be这种表示可能性的比较好，肯定的语气显得比较主观）caused by outside environment, which probably cannot last long enough into teenage period . As we all know, genes, blood types, etc are greatly impact the character of infants. However, the author provide no information about these. Without ruling out these possibilities of inside effects, the author cannot establish the cause-effect relationship.
Thirdly, the author commits a fallacy of “After of this, Therefore, Because of this.”（这个是专有或者地道的描述吗？如果是，学习了！） The author believes that the shyness of teenagers are outcome of the shyness when they were infants. However, it is entirely possible that other factors result in the shyness of teenagers, such as new changes of their bodies or minds take in. For example, according to a survey, boys in voice-changing period are two times likely to refuse to talk with girls. Thus, the shyness of these 25 teenagers is not necessarily caused by the shyness when they were infants.

（没有结尾段？？）

logic chain:
mother produced melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions--> infants showed distressed--> when the infants become teenagers, they showed shy. Thus, melatonin cause shyness and shyness continues.

初次改，如有不正，请指正：
1。有模版化，我感觉有些句子跟我听韦晓亮作文的句式一样，当然可能刚开始脱离不了吧，我也有借鉴某些句式或用词。
2。缺结尾段（可能是无意的？）
3。对原文的细节理解有偏差，会不会让人感觉文章本身缺乏说服力啊？

fufan6711UID: 2788330

Argument53
Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin—a hormone known to affect some brain functions—would naturally increase in response to decereased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children—now teenagers—who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.

In this argument，the arguer concludes that increased levels of Melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life. To support the conclusion, the arguer provides a thirteen years old study of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice, demonstrating the group of infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions -would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In the mean time , the following-up study conducted in this year indicate that half of these children-now teenagers –who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Nevertheless, this argument is unconvincing for several critical flaws.

The whole argument rests on the unreasonable assumption that the Melatonin can cause shyness of the infants. But, is it really the case? The arguer doesn’t provide any scientific research about the Melatonin, failing to reveal the function or the use of the of the Melatonin. What’s more, the arguer even fails to prove whether the Melatonin genuine have something to do with the infants. Even though the arguer said the Metonin is a kind of hormone that has something to do with certain function of the brain , but it didn’t tell us whether this influence is for the mothers or the infants.

The evidence provided in this argument is not sufficient to validate the conclusion for the following reasons. To begin with , the study conducted thirteen years ago revealed that the infants showed signs of distress when exposed to umfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. We can’t rule out the possibility that the distress was caused by the instinct conditioning instead of the shyness, cause the infants are very sensitive to the outside stimuli. In addition ,in the following-up study ,the arguer ignores many other relevant factors that might have something to do with the character of the children, given there is no information about the environment during the past years. Take the environment and the experience for example , these two factors can make huge contribution to character formation.

The conclusion lacks credibility ,because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. In order to make the argument more cogent , the arguer need to provide us with relevant scientific research information to illustrate what kind of effect does the Metonin has on infants ,and whether the influence is permanant .


To  SNOW:

Basing on a survey conducted 13 years ago as well as its following－up survey（前面刚用了个survey，用study，investigation等替换可能更好） performed much recently, the author concludes that a increasing level of melatonin before birth can clearly leads to shyness in people’s infancy which even last for a long time（作者的结论最好还是引用下来，last for a long time 与this shyness continues into later life还是有区别的，这只是个人意见）. The authur’s primary evidence is that 25 infants who are more likely to have been conceived during early autumn, showed mild tension during the survey, while melatonin secreted by their mother during that period would increase as the daylight decreases.（这句里用了很多定语从句，状语从句，只得学习！） The author also indicates that now half of those 25 teenagers indentified themselves as shy.
However, form a logical prospective, the statement suffers from several logical flaws.

First, a threshold problem involves the definition of shyness. The author regarded the signs of being a little nervous as shyness, while fails to define the critical term of shyness. Mild tension of babies may be natural and normal reaction towards unfamiliar stimuli. Without a clear definition, it’s hard to access（是想用assess吗？） or judge that whether the 25 infants are shy or not.

Second, as for the detail（detail只能做名词或动词，detailed才可以做副词） conceived time（表达怀孕时间，我个人觉得应该用conceiving time ）, the scientists only found （学要加个that把，不然这个句子有连个动词found 和are）the infants are more likely to have been conceived in early autumn, which indicates it’s only possibility but not confirmed information. The argument is totally unacceptable in logical aspect as the causal relationship between melatonin and shyness in infancy is constructed based on this kind of possibility, but not confirmed facts. Similarly, it’s impossible to link the shyness in adolescent to the maternal level of melatonin without confirming the detail conceived time（同前面）.

Besides, even though all the above problems would be overcome or tolerated（这句话应该去掉，这句话在这就等于前面两段白说了，老外写文章都是把最重要的放在最前面，sample size 应该是个次要问题，顺便提一下就可以了）, the sample size of only 25 infants is too small to support such a conclusion, meanwhile, lack（这个句子没主语，应用lacking ，分词短语做主语，你后面还有个be动词are） of the living background or other associated situation of those infants are extremely unacceptable.

To sum up, the arguer fails to substantiate the claim that melatonin is involved in the shyness of infants and adolescent in that the（应该去掉一个） evidence cited in the analysis doesn’t lend strong support to the argument. The arguer would have to（是表示将要的意思，应把would改成should） provide an accurate definition of shyness, or verify the concrete conceived time, or amplify the survey to a larger scale, to make the demonstrating procedure more convincing, and make the argument more thorough and logically acceptable.

PS：第一次改作文，由于水平有限，改得不对的地方还请见谅。
       你的这篇文章，给我的感觉是有很多从句，分词短语等，句式还算复杂。但有个问题，估计你自己也体会到了，就是用词重复，这个就要考平时多积累意思差不多的词，扩大自己的词汇量。

lvruochenUID: 2792806

53.Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
13年前，研究者研究了一组在受到不熟悉的刺激比如不寻常的气味和未知声音的录音时表现出轻微紧张的25名婴儿。他们发现这些婴儿比其他婴儿更可能在早秋怀孕，而早秋是他们的母亲分泌的melatonin--一种已知会影响一些大脑功能的荷尔蒙--因日照的减少而增加的季节。在今年早些时候所作的跟踪调查中，这些表现出紧张迹象的儿童--现在已经是十几岁--有一半以上认为自己害羞。显然，出生前melatonin的增加导致婴儿期的羞涩并且这种羞涩将延续至生命更晚的阶段。

用了160分钟
既然交晚了
我就把逻辑图做的漂亮一些
失败了，凑合着看吧，提一些意见


研究表明25秋季怀孕婴儿shy  \
                                           ------>婴儿shy\
秋天某影响脑功能激素下降     /                        \
                                                                       ----->激素影响shy从小到大
                                                                    /
                                     其中一半长大了也shy/


其实这个错了
1.其他季节怀孕也经过了这样的一个过程
2.秋季怀孕，可能与胎儿生长时外界环境较冷有关
3.teenager自认为shy，另青少年本身就可能shy，况且还有一半不shy了，不能说明问题




By presenting us with a  long-term experiment， the argument shows a study on the relationship between increased levels of melatonin before birth and shyness showed continually afterwards from childhood to adolescent. If we cast a look back at the experiment, it is rather groundless to reach that conclusion firmly. Trustworthy as it seems, the argument has 3 major problems leading to a a considerable confusion of the result about the experiment.

First of all, the result mentioned from the experiment is not the only key to the phenomenon. While the previous part of the experiment showed that among 25 babies, which was not a extensive investigation as well, who were much more sensitive to outer world, most of whom had been conceived in autumn when their mothers produced more melatonin in their bodies as a consequence of decreasing daylight which is obvious in autumn. However, many elements can result in the phenomenon. The temperature plummets as the very same time, which may probably counts more for the timid signs manifesting the unwillingness to communicate with external world. Moreover, the way that pregnant women exercise less in winter than in other seasons may be blamed for the insecure behaviors of babies afterwards. The experiment still has way to go.

Even if the melatonin is the exclusive cause, it is what melatonin acts in different phase of pregnancy rather than the increased levels of melatonin that makes sense. Pregnancy is a long-term activity taking 9 months approximately. Hence, children conceived in spring or summer may also get through the stage of increased levels of melatonin in autumn. But the result did not show how those children born in summer or spring were affected by the phenomenon. It’s more accordingly to infer that the increased level of melatonin only has a significant effect on an embryo of some particular periods. Moreover, the decreased levels of melatonin in spring, as a result of the increasing daylight, may still have great effect on babies conceived in autumn, from which the contrary of the result may be made. That poses a genuine dilemma for the researchers as well.

Then when our attention is turned to the later experiment showing that the impression continues into later life, it is easy to identify the flaws in the experiment. Without given the percentage of the children out of the experiment who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy, we cannot offer a firm guarantee for the result. Deficiency in social experience, a great many of children may shows periodic shyness in their childhood. Only provided with the fact that half of the children, who have taken part in the earlier experiment, showed the tendency of distress, it is not wise to bing the experiment to an end, unless compared with that of children outside the experiment. Much remains to be done to make the result cogent.

After all, lacking adequate evidence to support the assumption, we cannot confidently conclude the arbitrary argument identifying the certain relevance between the increased levels of melatonin and the shyness conducted by those children. Further research is in great need to draw a rather more substantial deduction





To Fufan
个人观点
求带血的互拍:)
In this argument，the arguer concludes that increased levels of Melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life. To support the conclusion, the arguer provides a thirteen years old 这个地方有点小问题 study of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice不知道大段抄题可以吧，用不用换语言, demonstrating the group of infants were more likely than other infants 有没用呢？或者是不是应该调到句子后面去to have been conceived in early autumn, when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions -would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight用不用换语言. In the mean time , the following-up 学习study conducted in this year indicate that half of these children-这个符号是不是有空格now teenagers –who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy全是题目。。。。。。. Nevertheless,学习 this argument is unconvincing for several critical flaws继续学.

The whole argument rests on the unreasonable assumption that the Melatonin can cause shyness of the infants. But, is it really the case? 我发现我只剩学习了The arguer doesn’t provide any scientific research about the Melatonin, failing to reveal the function or the use of the of the Melatonin. 但是实验要证明这点，你直接判否了。。。What’s more, the arguer even fails to prove whether the Melatonin genuine这个错了吧 have something to do with the infants. Even though the arguer said the Metonin is a kind of hormone that has something to do with certain function of the brain , but it didn’t tell us whether this influence is for the mothers or the infants.这句好牵强（脑是差不多的吧）
这段由于我有不同意见，写的比较批判，原谅，其实改的狠一点我很喜欢了

The evidence provided in this argument is not sufficient to validate the conclusion for the following reasons. 连接句To begin with 连接词, the study conducted thirteen years ago revealed that the infants showed signs of distress when exposed to umfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice是不是语言重复了，用代词好不好. We can’t rule out the possibility that the distress was caused by the instinct conditioning instead of the shyness, cause 这个用错了吗？没看出来the infants are very sensitive to the outside stimuli. In addition ,in the following-up study ,the arguer ignores many other relevant factors that might have something to do with the character of the children, given there is no information about the environment during the past years.提示出解决办法，可能用取平均即和外界比较法比较好 Take the environment and the experience for example语病 , these two factors can make huge contribution to character formation.

The conclusion lacks credibility ,because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. In order to make the argument more cogent , the arguer need to provide us with relevant scientific research information to illustrate what kind of effect does the Metonin has 语病on infants ,and whether the influence is permanant .

PS刚看了范文，感觉咱们的文章都差得很远呢。。。。。。。。。郁闷了


To soonyu
In this memo,the author claimed时态可能错了 that increased levels of melatonin before birth causes shyness during infancy and it will时态 continue into later life.To support this conclusion,the author cites an research,which is done 13 years ago,that studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli and were more likely to have been conceived in early autum.The author also points that the infants-now teenagers-have shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy.However,the asserting relies on a series of unsubstantiated assumption,so that it can't be justifiable.（到处学习）
其实我觉得是不是不应该抄原文的

1.新生儿的反应很可能是正常反应，不一定说明他们就shy
First,there is no evidence that they were different to高中错误 other infants.Though they showed signs of mild distress,it probably because they were new born and most of babies will show that when they were时态 new born.Without considering this problem,we can't assert that the infants who were studied by the researchers were really shy as the author conclude.
我的观点，不写事实的错误，可能不成熟，探讨一下
2.就算他们shy,也不一定是由于melatonin的作用
Second,even if the infants were really shy,we can't assert that it mostly because 错melatonin.Though melatonin may increase in response to decreased daylight and may cause baby's shyness,there is no evidence that it is the major reason.In early autumn,the temperature tends to low,the day length is short错.Obviously,not only melatonin but also a series of difference can be the reason of错 infant's shyness.Because of that,the conclusion that infant's shyness caused by melatonin is unconvincing.

3.现在是teenager的infants的表现可能是青春期的正常反应，不会continue
On the other hand,as we know,teenagers often show bad mood including rebellion,suspicion and shyness.We can't assert that the teenagers who were infants that had been studied in the research are shy rather because melatonin when they were born than they are in puberty.When being adult,most of teenagers turn to be optimistic,open-minded and ripe.And,a person''s character is affected by environment such as education,affection,friends.There is no evidents错 shows that the infants were growing up in similar circumstance and the only common among them is that they were born in early autumn. 我觉得需要提出可解决的意见Therefore,we can't believe that the shyness of the infants-now teenagers-will continue into their later life only because they were born in early autumn and maybe their mother's melation is unformal词用得不大对吧.


In sum，the conclusion is unjustifiable.Without the evidence that the infants who were studied by the research 13 years ago were really shy when they were born好啰嗦,melatonin influent mood,what circumstance the infants live in,we can't accept the author's assert.错To justify the conclusion,the research need to be continued,until the teenagers being 错adults.

有标点错误哟
好多小错，影响看整体。我觉得自改也是很重要的，我需要审视一下我自己的文章，放到word里就好多了，我发现我们的说理都不充分

xiaohaixxxUID: 2317561

53
Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin—a hormone known to affect some brain functions—would naturally increase in response to decereased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children—now teenagers—who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.



The argument is well-presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned. By making a study of 25 infants, who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice, may more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, when their mothers' production of melatonin—a hormone known to affect some brain functions—would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight, meanwhile when these infants grow up more than half of them have shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy, the conclusion that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life seems logical.
However, the arguer is weak to illustrate 25 infants is an enough amount of swatch to make the study convinced. Meanwhile it is an instinct of human, even an infant, to show distress when they come up with a unusual stimuli. So the distress these infants showed when they exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice is human’s normal response for outer stimuli, and the arguer’s conclusion that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn is not reasonable.
Even if there had some relationship between the infant’s response of unusual stimuli and conceived in early autumn, the arguer also didn’t provide enough evidence to proof the increase of mothers' production of melatonin will cause infants’ distress. The infants’ distress may caused by other factors, such as their own production of melatonin, since they were conceived in early autumn then they would be born in spring, when the daylight is increasing, the infants’ body will naturally decrease the melatonin and the decrease of melatonin in the new born infants’ body may the key reason cause the distress, or there has other hormone in mothers’ body can affect infants’ distress but not the melatonin.
What’s more the arguer also point out that when these infants grow up, more than half of these children—now teenagers—who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy, however, the rate of the person feel shy in these teenagers in not very high, perhaps the “more than half” just the average rate of feel shy teenagers, so there also haven’t enough proof to support the relation between the melatonin and infants’ distress.
Overall, the reasoning behind the relationship between infants’ distress and their mother’s melatonin increase seems logical as presented above. However there has much more conditions and factors can affect infants’ behavior. In order to get a logical conclusion, all conditions we should take into account.



to lvruochen

By presenting us with a  long-term experiment， the argument shows a study on the relationship between increased levels of melatonin before birth and shyness showed continually afterwards from childhood to adolescent. If we cast a look back at the experiment(cast a look back?
有这种搭配么？拿不准), it is rather groundless to reach the conclusion(what conclution?) that……. firmly. (Trustworthy as it seems), the argument has 3 main illogical points lead to (a) a considerable confusion of the result (about改为of) the experiment.
First of all, the result （mentioned from 有这种搭配么？拿不准）( the experiment is not the only key to)the experiment didn’t provide enough support of explanations to the phenomenon. While the previous part of the experiment showed that among 25 babies, which was not a extensive investigation as well, who were much more sensitive to outer world, most of whom had been conceived in autumn when their mothers produced more melatonin in their bodies as a consequence of decreasing daylight (which is obvious啥意思) in autumn. However, many elements can result in the phenomenon. The temperature，which plummets as the very same time，（, which ）may probably counts more for the timid signs manifesting the unwillingness to communicate with external world. Moreover, the (way)factor that pregnant women exercise less in winter than in other seasons may be blamed for the insecure behaviors of babies afterwards. The experiment still has way to go.

Even if the melatonin is the exclusive cause, it is what melatonin acts in different phase of pregnancy rather than the increased levels of melatonin that makes sense. Pregnancy is a long-term activity taking 9 months approximately. Hence, children conceived in spring or summer may also get through the stage of increased levels of melatonin in autumn. But the result did not show how those children born in summer or spring were affected by the phenomenon.(好像其他时期出生的都很正常) It’s more accordingly to infer that the increased level of melatonin only has a significant effect on an embryo (of)in some particular periods. Moreover, the decreased levels of melatonin in spring, as a result of the increasing daylight,
which may still have great effect on babies conceived in autumn, from which the contrary of the result may be made. That poses a genuine dilemma for the researchers as well.
(似乎不用肯定原文，就写原文的漏洞就行了)

Then when our attention is turned to the later experiment showing that the impression continues into later life, it is easy to identify the flaws in the experiment. Without given the percentage of the children out of the experiment who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy, we cannot offer a firm guarantee for the result. Deficiency in social experience, a great many of children may shows periodic shyness in their childhood. Only provided (with) the fact that half of the children, who have taken a part in the earlier experiment, showed the tendency of distress, it is not wise to bring the experiment to an end, unless compared with that of children outside the experiment. Much remains to be done to make the result cogent.

After all, lacking adequate evidence to support the assumption, we cannot confidently conclude the arbitrary argument identifying the certain relevance between the increased levels of melatonin and the shyness conducted by those children. Further research is in great need to draw a rather more substantial deduction
我觉得吧
把文章中逻辑错误指出就行了，不用用过多的话评价试验结果以及有哪些正确的地方。一些搭配，词的运用注意一下~~~~

annkeUID: 2605122

8# xiaohaixxx
The argument is well-presented, but[but是conj，后面应加is] not thoroughly well-reasoned. By making a study of 25 infants, who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice, may(没有主语) more likely[likely 是系表搭配，is likely to..so you should add “be”after“may”. ] than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, when their mothers' production of melatonin—a hormone known to affect some brain functions—would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight, [meanwhile when these infants grow up more than half of them have shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy,][identify themselves shy 这个表达有问题](Meanwhile when these infants grow up, more than half of them have shown signs of distress) the conclusion [that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life] seems logical.[整一段是一个句子，很麻烦呢，没有主语，多次改变动词，没有断句，有照搬材料嫌疑。注意，最后你的结论是conclusion seems logical,argument不是让我们论证合理性，应该批评才对]
However, the arguer [is] weak to illustrate 25 infants [is] an enough amount of swatch to make the study convinced[双动词。另，arguer is weak是人身攻击，只能说明他虚弱。Argument weak,才是论证薄弱的意思]. Meanwhile it is an instinct of human[？你怎么知道], even an infant, to show distress when they[前面是 an infant 主谓一致] come up with a unusual stimuli. So the distress these infants showed when they exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice is human’s normal response for[to] outer stimuli, and the [arguer’s去掉] conclusion that these infants were[时态十分混乱] more likely than other infants [to have been conceived in early autumn这个定语应该是修饰前一个infants] is not reasonable.
Even if there had some relationship between the infant’s response of unusual stimuli and[that?] conceived in early autumn, the arguer also didn’t provide enough evidence to proof[prove that] the increase of mothers' production of melatonin will cause infants’ distress. The infants’ distress may [be] caused by other factors, such as their own production of melatonin, since they were conceived in early autumn then they would [be] born in spring, when the daylight is increasing, the infants’ body[bodies] will naturally decrease the melatonin and the decrease of melatonin in the new born infants’ body[bodies] may [the] [key reason cause] the distress(chinglish 表达，reason why/cause应该分开用), or there has[…there be和have也不能杂糅着用，是吧？] other hormone in mothers’ body[ies] can affect infants’ distress but not the melatonin.
What’s more[,] the arguer also point out that when these infants grow up, more than half of these children—now teenagers—who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy, however, the rate of the person feel shy in these teenagers in not very high, perhaps the “more than half” just the average rate of feel shy teenagers, so there also haven’t[there be 和have] enough proof to support the relation[cause relation 点名因果关系] between the melatonin and infants’ distress.
Overall[?], the reasoning behind the relationship[背后的推理..chinglish] between infants’ distress and their mother’s melatonin increase seems logical as presented above. However there has much more conditions and factors can affect infants’ behavior. In order to get a logical conclusion, all conditions we should take into account.
[注意强化语法、拼写，提高句子和词汇的驾驭能力，加强逻辑训练——起承转合]

annkeUID: 2605122

The memo mainly argues that melatonin produced by mother will clearly make infants shy and shyness will continue into later life. However, evidence given do not constitute a logical argument in favor of this conclusion, and fail to provide convincing support making this argument sound and invulnerable.
First of all ,the author fail to analyze why increased levels of melatonin can necessarily cause infants shy. As the evidence provided, only 25 infants were examined in the research thirteen years ago, which could not guarantee the efficiency of research. While, infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice, did not necessarily suggest they were shy.
Even assuming signs of mild distress equals shyness and melatonin can cause infants shy, the process of effectiveness is not presented as above. It is the melatonin affecting some functions of mothers’ brains that may pass to infants. Actually, this effect is caused by outside environment, which probably cannot last long enough into teenage period . As we all know, genes, blood types, etc are greatly impact the character of infants. However, the author provide no information about these. Without ruling out these possibilities of inside effects, the author cannot establish the cause-effect relationship.
Thirdly, the author commits a fallacy of “After of this, Therefore, Because of this.” The author believes that the shyness of teenagers are outcome of the shyness when they were infants. However, it is entirely possible that other factors result in the shyness of teenagers, such as new changes of their bodies or minds take in. For example, according to a survey, boys in voice-changing period are two times likely to refuse to talk with girls. Thus, the shyness of these 25 teenagers is not necessarily caused by the shyness when they were infants.


logic chain:
mother produced melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions--> infants showed distressed--> when the infants become teenagers, they showed shy. Thus, melatonin cause shyness and shyness continues.

lvruochenUID: 2792806

第二次作业
issue 130
4.20   17：00之前上交

大家觉得
开一个新贴
怎么样
一次一贴

用评分的方法回复
谢谢

楼下改楼上

annkeUID: 2605122

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

WORDS:559
TIME: 01:00:00
DATE: 2010-4-19 22:02:24

The author claims the significance of socialization of children which is entitled to determining the destiny of society. However, the author is passive about today's situation because we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society. From my perspective, I agree with the author.

Consider the author's first assertion that society's destiny depends on how children are socialized. It is true that the more progressive children immerge in society, the better they can obtain ability to improve society. And qualified civilians which come out as well-socialized children are responsible for a promising society. On the one hand, individuals should improve themselves not only on knowledge about what the society is and how to recognize it, but also on abilities to deal with interpersonal relationship, especially learn to compete and cooperate. In the way, society will undoubtedly benefit from benevolent competiveness and cooperation among individuals, which lead to economic progress and communal activity of a society. On the other hand, an advanced society desire for effective and far-sighted leaders, who should take account of different benefits and manage to compromise in need. The United Nations President Lincoln is always cited as a typical example. During the civil war, Lincoln considered the different opinions of the North and the South, the white and the black, and he acted wisely to get support of as widely as possible. Only in this way could the United States get rid of splitting danger which brought out a bright future of America. Therefore, the destiny of society is greatly shaped by successfully socialized children.

However, when we look at the children today, we are likely to feel sad and regretted. As every families are engaged in a single box in apartments, children has less opportunities to play with other children. Instead, they kill time with dolls or have fun with computers, which will reduce the communication skills and even cause loneliness, eccentricity and other mental obstacles. Moreover, nowadays young parents would like to spend lots of money to send their children to bilingual kindergartens rather than accompanying and playing together with their children, which
will results cleverness in children’s minds while coolness in their hearts. When they grow up, they may not care about other people rendering a cool-blooded society lacking compassion and mutual understanding. For example, some girls cruelly killed a cat and felt happy about that, which indicates modern society encountering serious problems of younger generation representing the world future. In my opinion, children today do have not yet learn how to socialize and how to shoulder the social responsibilities.

Nevertheless, our younger generation are not as hopeless as the author believe. With recognizing the importance of socialization, parents, schools and governments all take actions to build children’s socialization abilities. For example, there are more relevant programs provided by schools to help students learn how to cooperate and handle their feelings, and governments start reformation of education systems switching the exam-oriented education into person-oriented education. Parents also begin to encourage their children to keep curiosity of society.

To sum up, I think socialization of children should be put enough emphasis for it determine the future of our society. At the same time, we should have a clear view of problems of children socialization, and join hands to take all means to help children better socialized.

xiaohaixxxUID: 2317561

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."


The speaker acclaims two assertions. One is how children socialized today will dominate the destiny of future society; the other is we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.
Consider first the speaker’s assertion that society’s destiny depend on how children are socialized. I concede that the children is the determination of future society for the society progress is pushed by one generation to the other, and because human is such kind of highly socialized species, the socialization is one of the most important character for all members of the society. In most condition, it’s hard to image how a person could achieve contribution to the society or even survives without ability to communicate or cooperation with others; however, the socialization is not the only character to obtain success. There are too many other important characters like courage, creative mind, logical thinking, health, moral and so on. One may lack of socialization but have advantages in other characters also could obtain great contribution to society. Columbus found the America by his courage and his willpower but not socialization. Edison invent filament lamp by his creative mind but not socialization and Darwin wrote “The Origin of Species” by his observation of nature but not socialization, there are so many such examples in history. What’s more, there also have some people who are socialized but achieve nothing at last even do something harmful to the society. Consider if a child together with a group of rogues all day, he may socialize but may become a rogue too.
The speaker’s second asserting is that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, which is poorly supported by empirical evidence. If we define “a better society” as one characterized by greater tolerance of differing viewpoints and people who are different from ourselves, greater respect for individual rights, and greater cooperation across cultural and nation boundaries.
The achievement human obtained in the past century is satisfactory, the most recent quarter-century has seen an increasing sensitivity in our society toward ensuring public health by policing the food and drug industry and by protecting our nature environment. The protection of human right is also strengthened rapidly than ever before, women has play more and more important roles in government, commerce, education, research and so on. Nowadays thanks to the rapid developing technology, human are able to communicate with each other surpassing the limitation of time and space. The corporate of people by people, country by country have extremely boomed than ever since before and the society is better. These achievement gained by human in the past a hundred years ago fully provide evidences that proved the past generations has been educated by the ability to change the society more better. So the speaker’s assertion flies in the face of the empirical evidence.
In sum, when it comes to whether a child grow up to contribute to a better society, the key determination is not only socialization but also some other characters –such as courage, creative mind, logical thinking, health, moral and so on. And while reasonable people with differing political and social viewpoints maybe disagree about what make for a “better society”, in my observation our society is steadily evolving into a more civilized, respectful, and tolerant one. In the final analysis, then I fundamentally disagree with the both aspect of the speaker’s dual claim.

lvruochenUID: 2792806

时间5H
这篇写的时间好长
下次一定要打详细提纲
防止和这次一样，写了又删了


It is a fact broadly recognized that the capacity to liaise closely with society is of increasing significance nowadays. Besides, children are hopes of the future. Then it seems to be unchallenging to draw the deduction that how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society
. However, in my point of view, what lies ahead doesn’t exclusively concentrate on that single point. Moreover, we are not facing with absolute catastrophe when we don’t know how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.

Socialization is one of the most influential abilities children should get through education. The industrial revolution ushered in a whole new era of ways of our life. Modern technology created new forms of communication that did not exist in agrarian economies. It is socialization that influences much in the development of students. Never can we live alone, in the absence of socialization. Children should learn to be socialized through the education to know how to work in the coming times.

Nevertheless, socialization is not the only intention of education. Although socialization makes it much more likely to have direct impact on our society, a society merely relies on socialization is nothing but an extreme nightmare. When the ability to be socialized is too much stressed, people would definitely lack any individual space. A highly organized society is nothing more than a machine, while, as distinct parts of the horrible machine, few things we can do is to do whatever meets needs of the society without our own thinking. As a result, development of individuals would be greatly restricted, where there is no way to create opportunity for persons chasing after things that can be achieved only by thinking alone. What’s worse, great innovations would never come to such a society. The only thing we could do is to live vainly in the society rather than to improve the society we live in. That goes beyond our imagination. Is that the future we really want? The answer is obvious, I believe.

Various individual abilities will not be too much emphasized. The supporter’s view of abilities and the kind of education it demands fails to appreciate the enormous variety of abilities that we need. Other abilities is the goal of education as well. More tellingly, I will take Victor Hugo for example. Whenever he determined to write some marvelous work, he would buy himself an unattractive suit of clothing. By this way, he showed his unwillingness to be too much socialized, or he will be easily distracted from his work. Afterwards, Les Miserables makes that he is a prominent man ever in the history of literature. The case is not rare. With socialization the final goal of our education, such brilliant works would hardly be made. Similarly, when students apply for some positions after graduation, it is all kinds of ability rather than the single socialization that counts. Even more，in some fields like science, the ability to be socialized may not seem that important, and it is sometimes a vice for scientists, which makes it difficult to concentrate on science. In a word, how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society is partial and superficial.

At last, I believe that not realizing how to educate children is not a disaster. Education is not aimed to tell exactly what should children do in the future. Society varies greatly, and we can never absolutely know what the better way to do in the future is. Education is to provide opportunity to motivate the students to learn for themselves and, more important, by themselves. After we do our best to tell them something guiding, their autonomous initiative is the key to make a better future. In conclusion, I think we should teach children something more than mere socialization and it will be their own chance to control the future and make it better.

lvruochenUID: 2792806

to xiaohai
The speaker acclaims two assertions学习. One is how children socialized today will dominate the destiny of future society; the other is we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.开头明要，不过好像没有个人观点呢
Consider first the speaker’s assertion that society’s destiny depend错 on how children are socialized. I concede that 学习the children is the determination of future society for the society progress is pushed by one generation to the other,不知道从这里分开好不好 and because human is such kind错of highly socialized species, the socialization is one of the most important character for all members of the society. In most condition学习, it’s hard to image how a person could achieve
是不是make更好 contribution to the society or even survives似乎没有s，跟着could without ability单个名词出现了 to communicate or cooperation with others; however
word告诉我这个要大写, the socialization is not the only character to obtain success. There are too many other important characters like courage, creative mind, logical thinking, health, moral and so on学习. One may lack of这个错了，没有of

socialization but have advantages in other characters also could obtain great contribution to society. Columbus found the America by his courage and his willpower but not socialization. Edison invent filament lamp by his creative mind but not socialization and Darwin wrote “The Origin of Species” by his observation of nature but not socialization, there are so many such examples in history.学习What’s more, there also have
错了some people who are socialized but achieve nothing at last even do something harmful to the society. Consider是不是加ing？ if 去掉a child together with a group of rogues all day, he may socialize but may become a rogue too.有意思
批判第一个观点
The speaker’s second asserting is that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, which is poorly supported by empirical evidence. If we define “a better society” as one characterized by greater tolerance of differing viewpoints and people who are different from ourselves, greater respect for individual rights, and greater cooperation across cultural and nation boundaries.写得很好，不过被检测出来plagiarism,呵呵
下面一段是范文，学习。。。。。。。
The achievement human obtained in the past century is satisfactory, the most recent quarter-century has seen an increasing sensitivity in our society toward ensuring public health by policing the food and drug industry and by protecting our nature environment. The protection of human right is also strengthened rapidly than ever before, women has play more and more important roles in government, commerce, education, research and so on. Nowadays thanks to the rapid developing technology, human are able to communicate with each other surpassing the limitation of time and space. The corporate of people by people, country by country have extremely boomed than ever since before and the society is better. These achievement gained by human in the past a hundred years ago fully provide evidences that proved the past generations has been educated by the ability to change the society more better. So the speaker’s assertion flies in the face of the empirical evidence.
In sum, when it comes to whether a child grow up to contribute to a better society, the key determination is not only socialization but also some other characters –such as courage, creative mind, logical thinking, health, moral and so on. And while reasonable people with differing political and social viewpoints maybe disagree about what make for a “better society”, in my observation our society is steadily evolving into a more civilized, respectful, and tolerant one. In the final analysis, then I fundamentally disagree with the both aspect of the speaker’s dual claim北美范文。。。。。。。。。。。。


我实在不敢评论后半段的范文了。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

lvruochenUID: 2792806

to annke
（我的颜色怎么没了，忘记留带颜色的副本的，sorry）

The author claims the significance of socialization of children which is entitled to determining the destiny of society.学习
However, the author is passive about today's situation because we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society. From my perspective, I agree with the author.简明表明观点
Consider the author's first assertion that society's destiny depends on how children are socialized. It is true that the more progressive children immerge in society, the better they can obtain ability to improve society. And qualified civilians which come out as well-socialized children are responsible for a promising society. On the one hand, individuals should improve themselves not only on knowledge about what the society is and how to recognize it, but also on abilities to deal with interpersonal relationship, especially learn to compete and cooperate. In the way, society will undoubtedly benefit from
benevolent慈善的？
competiveness
这个是不是想写competition，终于有错了，否则只剩学习语言了and cooperation among individuals, which lead to economic progress and communal activity of a society. 下面这点我觉得和主题关系不大，个人意见On the other hand, an advanced society desire for
effective and far-sighted leaders, who should take account of different benefits and manage to compromise in need多余了吗. The United Nations President Lincoln is always cited as a typical example. During the civil war, Lincoln considered the different opinions of the North and the South, the white and the black, and he acted wisely to get support of as widely as possible. Only in this way could the United States get rid of splitting danger which brought out a bright future of America. Therefore, the destiny of society is greatly shaped by successfully socialized children.
However, when we look at the children today, we are likely to feel sad and regretted. As every families这句错了，到底是每一个还是所有，影响单复数 are engaged in a single box in apartments, children has less opportunities to play with other children. Instead, they kill time with dolls or have fun with computers, which will reduce the communication skills and even cause loneliness, eccentricity and other mental obstacles. Moreover, nowadays young parents would like to spend lots of money to send their children to bilingual kindergartens rather than accompanying and playing together with their children, which will results cleverness in 可以这样用？children’s minds while coolness in their hearts. When they grow up, they may not care about other people rendering a cool-blooded society lacking compassion and mutual understanding. For example, some girls cruelly killed a cat and felt happy about that, which indicates modern society encountering serious problems of younger generation representing the world future.我不知道外国人知道这个事吗 In my opinion, children today do have not yet learn how to socialize and how to shoulder the social responsibilities.同意题目第二点
Nevertheless, our younger generation are
错not as hopeless as the author believe. With recognizing the importance of socialization, parents, schools and governments all take actions to build children’s socialization abilities. For example, there are more relevant programs provided by schools to help students learn how to cooperate and handle their feelings, and governments start reformation of education systems switching the exam-oriented education into person-oriented education. Parents also begin to encourage their children to keep curiosity of society.
To sum up, I think socialization of children should be put enough emphasis for it determine错 the future of our society. At the same time, we should have a clear view of problems of children socialization, and join hands to take all means to help children better socialized.


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