大家帮忙看看这篇作文，希望不吝赐教！4.25

chengyue100UID: 2803763

It is human nature that people are more likely to pour their spare time on something interesting such as a comedy that can make them laugh. Conceivably,many people believe that watching a good comedy can have time flow as well as being a cozy way for people to outlet their pressure through loud laughter. However, the sense of entertainment that a comedy can bring to us is superficial. It just meets our desire for passing time. In pursuit of a more thorough enjoyment, a full appreciation of a meaningful movie, we should turn to serious ones which not only satisfy our needs for entertainment, but also lead us to a deep reflection of ourselves and our society.

Serious movies can give us a detailed insight of our culture and history. Surely, many people have some scenes inscribed deeply on their mind. It can be a dialogue, a sentence, or even a word. They build themselves into a shining lighthouse, revealing to me the deepest channels of human life and the human spirt. I still can remember the sense of excitement when I heard the the last word ‘freedom’ shouted by the hero starred by Mel Gibson in the movie Brave heart, an American epic film.We also can learn the evil of warfare from the remarkable movie___So this is the power of movie.

The second merit that serious movies can generate is to lead us to rethink. With the major advance of human civilization, people have greatly changed the habitat our ancestor used to live in. We have developed the confidence of conquerors that we can devastate the forests, the wetland, and creatures at will. It is just what the documentary, Dolphin Bay, tells us. I lost in thought when I saw dolphins,our best animal friends, are cruelly and bloodily slaughtered in the dolphin bay. It warm us that we
have to develop some outstanding measures to protect the species diversity. For human race has taken a toll on the excessive development over the past a hundred years such as the global warming and holes in ozone,we are not afford to spoil out planet any more.


In conclusion, it is better to watch serious movies than to watch movies that could only amuse and entertain people. Watching serious movies can make us laugh, at the same time enrich our spirit.

jiang08UID: 2391146

论证的相当好，语言也不错，几个小错误：
第四段：I lost in thought--〉I'm lost in thought; warn-->warns; afford及take a toll用法有误。
最后一段 最后半句前加and
总体是不错的文章， 加油。

canoe03UID: 2786666

It is human nature that people are more likely to pour their spare time on something interesting such as a comedy that can make them laugh. Conceivably, many people believe that watching a good comedy can have time flow as well as being a cozy way for people to outlet(楼主，我查了下webster，介个词毫无动词的意思，楼主还是有其他想法，请告知？) their pressure through loud laughter. However, the sense of entertainment that a comedy can bring to us is superficial. It just meets our desire for passing time. In pursuit of a（与enjoyment？不妥）
more thorough enjoyment, a full appreciation of a meaningful movie, we should turn to serious ones which not only satisfy our needs for entertainment, but also lead us to a deep reflection of ourselves and our society.

Serious movies can give us a detailed insight of our culture and history. Surely, many people have some scenes inscribed deeply on（介词的用法我也是一塌糊涂，这里用in？）
their mind. It can be a dialogue, a sentence, or even a word. They build themselves into a shining lighthouse, revealing to me the deepest channels（channel？） of human life（brilliant！） and the human spirt(spirit 拼写错误呵呵). I still can remember the sense of excitement when I heard the the(多了一个the) last word ‘freedom’ shouted by the hero starred by Mel Gibson in the movie Brave heart, an American epic film. We also can learn the evil of warfare from the remarkable movie. So this is the power of movie.


The second merit that serious movies can generate is to lead us to rethink. With the major advance of human civilization, people have greatly changed the habitat our ancestor used to live in. We have developed the confidence of conquerors that we can devastate the forests, the wetland, and creatures at will. It is just what the documentary, Dolphin Bay, tells us. I lost in thought when I saw dolphins, our best animal friends, are cruelly and bloodily slaughtered in the dolphin bay. It warm(warms) us that we have to develop some outstanding measures to protect the species diversity. For human race(humankind may be better?) has taken a toll on the excessive development over the past a hundred years such as the global warming and holes in ozone（臭氧空洞是zone hole）, we are not afford （be afford to?还是afford有其他用法？）to spoil out planet any more.

In conclusion, it is better to watch serious movies than to watch movies that could only amuse and entertain people. Watching serious movies can make us laugh, at the same time enrich our spirit.

(楼主写的相当好，论证也不错，花了九牛二虎之力才挑了几个小毛病。。。楼主朝30迈进！说的不当之处，请谅解！)


楼主不要忘了改我4.24的作文，因为那天只有我一人，并到今天来了，谢谢！:loveliness:

wqqangUID: 2770317

先来占楼，马上发上来...
It is human naturethat people are more likely to pour their spare time on something interestingsuch as a comedy that can make them laugh. Conceivably, many people believethat watching a good comedy can have time flow as well as being a cozy way forpeople to outlet their pressure through loud laughter. However, the sense ofentertainment that a comedy can bring to us is extremely（个人感觉这种关键句还是狠一点） superficial. It just meets ourdesire for passing time. In pursuit of a more thorough enjoyment, fullappreciation of a meaningful movie(前面俩分开感觉不太好，建议并列在一起), it would be better if weturn to serious ones which not only satisfy our needs for entertainment, butalso lead us to a deep reflection of ourselves and our society.
Serious movies cangive us a detailed insight of our culture and history. Surely, many people havesome scenes inscribed deeply on their mind. It can be a dialogue, a sentence,or even a word. They build themselves into a shining lighthouse, revealing tome the deepest channels of human life and the human sprit.I still can remember the sense of excitement when I heard the last word‘freedom’ shouted by the hero starred by Mel Gibson in the movie Brave heart,an American epic film. We also can learn the evil of warfare from theremarkable movie___(这个是什么东东)So this is the power of movie.
The second meritthat serious movies can generate is to lead us to rethink. With the majoradvance of human civilization, people have greatly changed the habitat ourancestor used to live in. We have developed the confidence of conquerors thatwe can devastate the forests, the wetland, and creatures at will. It is justwhat the documentary, Dolphin Bay, tells us. I lost inthought when I saw dolphins, our best animal friends, are cruelly and bloodilyslaughtered in the dolphin bay. It warms us thatwe have to develop some outstanding measures to protect the species diversity.For human race has taken a toll on the excessive development over the past ahundred years such as the global warming and holes in ozone, we are not affordto spoil out planet any more.
In conclusion, itis better to watch serious movies than to watch movies that could only amuseand entertain people. Watching serious movies can make us laugh, at the sametime enrich our spirit.

说实话...关于语法之类，有我来说有关公面前弄斧的嫌疑...
楼主对各类词汇及词组的运用...如火纯青啊...此类功力定非死记单词可得，必然是建立在大量阅读的基础之上...赞一下~~
如果真要蛋蛋里面镂骨头的话...
1、个人觉得起头段稍长了些...其实也就三个句子~\(≧▽≦)/~啦啦啦恢弘的长句，但是假使时间来的及的话，建议增加下面两段论证的字数。
     经典的龙头猪肚豹尾，是无论哪种语言都首推的...否则可能会有头重脚轻之嫌。
2、第二段，中间论证部分...非常文艺啊~但是怎么感觉有倾向散文的风味，毕竟是应试议论文嘛...在看的过程中，我就有感觉。例如many people have somescenes inscribed deeply on their mind. It can be a dialogue, a sentence, oreven a word。难道喜剧的editor就没有scenes in their mind? 当然，无可厚非，这个可以做为很好的论点，但建议楼主将两种风格电影进行对比...更有说服力吧。比如说可以说喜剧显得幼稚啊之类的
3、第三段，也是建议在最后，对整段稍稍总结下。比如，现在很多serious movies 都涉及环境问题 which make us think more about...所以它才好过喜剧。同样是为了更有说服力



罗嗦完毕...忘楼主轻拍
再赞一下...楼主的文字实在有水准啊...临表涕淋ing~