Issue130求拍,谢谢各位了！

甜小丢UID: 2809304

130. "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."


The speaker raises a dual assertion in this issue. I find the first assertion that the socialization of children determines the destiny of society specious, while I strongly agree with the second one that we have not find a proper way to raise children who can build a better society.


To analyze this topic, we should first of all understand what socialization really is. According to sociologists, it refers to the process of inheriting norms, customs and ideologies. A society itself is formed through a plurality of shared norms, customs, values, traditions, social roles, symbols and languages. Socialization is thus ‘the means by which social and cultural continuity are attained'.

Admittedly, socialization is necessary and indispensible for building a society which is orderly, tolerant to different viewpoint, and respectful for others. However, the speaker’s seemingly-complete claim has aggrandized the function of socialization. Sometimes, it is the breaking of convention rather than the obedience to it that promotes the civilization of society, as it put in the case of the Youth Revolt, which happened during 60s in America. During that period there were a number of problems in American society such as racial discrimination，sexual discrimination ，Vietnam War ,economic boom, social unrest. When the baby boom generation encountered with these problems, most of them turned into Hippies who dare to challenge the serious life-style of their fathers with a new attitude towards life, express their anger of social unfairness through several extreme ways as well as tell people there is something wrong with American society. If it is not because that the then Hippies refused to compromise with the concept which both was banal and didn’t respect human rights, by no means can American society make such a remarkable progress in democracy and equality.
Although I disagree with the speaker's first assertion, however, I found his second claim is exactly the situation we are in. In the case of Youth Revolt, we may found that it is a result of the young generation's own struggling, but not that of education. The pitiful fact is, education always lags behind the times, and meanwhile, unavoidably involved in some bias. For instance, there is hardly any historical book which doesn't overstate the contribution its own party has made in promoting the peace of the world. Another example is that nowadays there still a quite a lot people who believe that female cannot be as successful as male, especially in field like business and politics. When children are raised influenced by such kind of ridiculous prejudice, which maybe the main cause of all the social problems, subconsciously, they are definitely unable to create a more civilized, respectful, and tolerant society—in other words, a better society.
In sum, I consider the speaker's first assertion that the destiny of society depends on the socialization of children untenable; However, I regard the second one as an exact description of our nowadays education.

flearUID: 2533174

I130不宜过早写 不要拿这篇上手

甜小丢UID: 2809304

谢谢……既然已经写了，还是请帮我改改吧，谢谢了 2# flear

flearUID: 2533174

哎哎哎我又多嘴了。。。
等晚上看看吧。

flearUID: 2533174

以下纯属个人拙见。
首先语言功底非常非常好。我就不班门弄斧去改了，怕把自己脚砸了。熟悉AW，掌握破题之后，文章一定会写得非常漂亮。
但对于此题，我极不赞成你这种破题方式。原文两句是有密切关系的（unfortunately），如果要支持前半句而反对后半句，必然是要在两者关系不成立上做出足够讨论。不宜把两个观点当做两篇题目去写了。
另外，很关键的一点，你只看到一个关键字socialize并在其上大做文章,殊不知题面还有另一重要限定性关键词children. 第二段先讲解释了socialization，这个可以的。但接下了反驳首句时便完全偏掉了。题面说how children are socialized determines the destiny of society,而从你第一句aggrandize the function of socialization便可知，你所述全在于socialization与否对于一个社会的影响，包括例子在内，只字不见children.
education always lags behind times 这个观点挺好
其他不多说了 重新审题 此题太难
如果这是第一篇，那么我觉得AW乃至verbal部分对你还说 都会很简单

甜小丟UID: 2805013

5# flear
谢谢你~！这是第二篇，感觉确实很难。今天给外教看了，改了不少问题。
你之前说最好不要拿这篇上手，那一开始应该联系哪些题目呢？