[1010G]8月中旬上海YY作文进阶小组A53作业回收

cant0577UID: 2781482

[1010G]8月中旬上海YY作文进阶小组I130作业回收上海, YY进阶, 作文, 作业

本帖最后由 cant0577 于 2010-5-24 08:09 编辑 [1010G]8月中旬上海YY作文进阶小组 周三晚11:00 之前交 A53 53.Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life. 周四：列高频的提纲： 167 196 10 151 164 210 周四晚：9:00-11:00 小组讨论作文和提纲，每个人整理一个提纲 第二天发到小组经验贴里 167~1，196~2，10~3，151~4，164~5， 210~6 ~前面是写提纲的题号，~后面是主贴上各位的号码，一个人负责整理一个他对应的提纲 楼上的把自己的I 以WORD 的形式传给楼下的    次日下午2:00 前 楼下的把楼上的修改文发给楼上，                楼上在贴里贴上他人改的作业，                然后再贴上自改文，根据别人建议修改自己的文 请组员自己在交作业的前一天晚上去占楼。一人占两楼。一楼发自己的作文，和自己的改文。一楼发别人的改文（请注明是改的谁的）。楼下改楼上的，楼上的把自己的稿子和改好的稿子QQ传给楼下的 形式如下 第一楼： 提纲 思路 逻辑树                   习作      ···················································       自己修改的文 第二楼：   楼下帮忙改的文          指出逻辑，语法上的问题，例子

四月小薇UID: 2680355

可攻击的缺陷：
1.样本数量过少，不具有代表性。
2.结论里的荷尔蒙是和秋天有关，但是并不是所有孩子都出生在秋天，这些孩子本身就是反例。
3.秋天的改变并不只有日光的长短，所以可能是因为别的荷尔蒙。
4.孩子害羞的原因并不只有先天的，青春期的孩子更加的害羞，同时生长环境也有很大的影响。这些孩子在后期不一定会害羞。
TOPIC: ARGUMENT53 - Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
WORDS: 321          TIME: 00:47:52          DATE: 2010/5/26 20:53:53
The article draw the conclusion that increased levels of melatonin-a hormone would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight-before birth cuse shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life based on a research carried out thirteen years ago studying a group of 25 infants.I find this argument logically unconvincing in several respects.
First of all, the conlusion is based on the assumption that infants who showed sigh of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli are more likely have been conceived in early autumn,which is not relieable.Because the study shows that there're some infants who were not conceived in autumn,thus the relation between the increase of melatonin and shyness is not reasonable.
Secondly, the author provides no evidence that the study's results are statistcally relieable.In order to establish a strong relation between melatonin and shyness,the study's sample must be sufficient in size and representative of the overall populaition.In this case,however,the sample only contains 25 infants and the standard which they are chosen by is vagous.
Thirdly,as to the infants who were conceived in early autumn,apart from the daylight,their mothers also experience other physical changes,like the temperature and humidy.And the body will produce more than one hormone to cope with the changes.So it is not surely that the melatonin is the hormone that caused shyness.
Finally,the relation between the hormone and shyness is not necessary.All the subjects are at the same age-teenagers now-may be the reason why they are shy.Besides,the environment they grew up in also influences their personality.There are lots of causes for shyness.Considering the size of the sample,it is highly possible that the relation is actually coincidence.And the kids may be more outgoing in the future.
In sum,the argument is logically flawed and therefore unconvincing as it stands.To strengthen it the author must provides relieable study shows that the connection of the increasing levels of melatonin before birth and shyness whose sample is sufficient in representativeness and size.
字数少了点，条理由点乱。。。结尾比较不好。。。

四月小薇UID: 2680355

沙发板凳都是我的。。。

cant0577UID: 2781482

1.婴儿表现出来的紧张可能是由于不舒服或害怕引起的，没有证据表明是害羞，所以与那个**素没有关系
2.没有证据表面这个素的功能，能否影起他们的害羞
3。 影响性格的因素很多，该调查没有考虑将别的因素


TOPIC: ARGUMENT53 - Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
WORDS: 406          TIME: 01:51:10          DATE: 2010/5/26 22:18:31

The survey indicates that the levels of melatonin increased before people were born cause shyness during infancy and the influence extend to their later lives. In order to illustrate its results, the survey incites the following facts: (1) 25 infants who were born in early autumn, a time when the melatonin produced by their mothers was increased, showed distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli; (2)The hormone, melatonnin affects some brain functions; And (3) after those 25 infants became teenager, more than half of them identified  themselves as shy. Close scrutiny of each of these facts, however, reveals that none of them lend credible support to the result.

Firstly, infants showing distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli do not necessarily indicate that shyness caused. For the survey doesn't show any persuasive evidences to support that infants showing of mild distress was caused by shyness, we can easily consider that uncomfortable feeling or  harsh sounds maybe cause infants' mild distress, as a potential reason.  Moreover, the statistic, 25 infants, lacks representativeness in illustrate the melatonin's affection. So the showing of distress about 25 infants show powerless to prove the result.

Secondly, there are no scientific evidences proofing the function of melatonin, whether it can cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life. Also, the survey does not apply any scientific researches to show whether infants born in the early autumn would suffer the affection to some brain functions caused by melatonin. Therefore, it is possible for mothers to suffer it instead of infants. If so, we hardly assert melatonin causing shyness.

Thirdly,  the survey unilaterally considered the reason causing shyness of these people. When it comes to a teenager's personality, we should take a lot of factors into account, such as the influence of parents, the phenomena of society where those infants grew up and so forth. Besides, different people have different ideas about the identification of shyness. Comparing with a talkative person, as Jay Leno, the host of Talk Show, some teenagers may  consider themselves as shyness.

In sum, the survey lacks convincing researches and factors to powerful illustrate its result. To support its result, it should provide more persuasive statistic showing the affection caused by melatonin, and make a comparison between infants born in different seasons and environments where they grow up.  The research should also make a further illustration to analyse the affection to infants from melation, to make it more believable.

cant0577UID: 2781482

我也来占位了~~~
感觉写不出来啊

改 四月小薇
The article draw the conclusion that increased levels of melatonin-a hormone would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight-before birth cuse cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life based on a research carried out thirteen years ago studying a group of 25 infants.I find this argument logically unconvincing in several respects.
First of all, the conlusion conclusion is based on the assumption that infants who showed sigh of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli are more likely have been conceived in early autumn, which is not relieable reliable. Because the study shows that there're some infants who were not conceived in autumn, thus the relation between the increase of melatonin and shyness is not reasonable. 细心，我都没发现这个逻辑问题
Secondly, the author provides no evidence that the study's results are statistcally
statistically relieable. reliable. In order to establish a strong relation between melatonin and shyness, the study's sample must be sufficient in size and representative of the overall population .In this case, however, the sample only contains 25 infants and the standard which they are chosen by is vagous vague.
Thirdly, as to the infants who were conceived in early autumn, apart from the daylight, their mothers also experience other physical changes, like the temperature and humidy. And the body will produce more than one hormone to cope with the changes. So it is not surely that the melatonin is the hormone that caused shyness.我觉得 这一段可以加上母亲的生活习惯，作息不规律，酗酒，吸烟，等等不良因素都有可能影响的孩子的大脑功能，这些可能影响孩子将来的性格
Finally, the relation between the hormone and shyness is not necessary. All the subjects are at the same age-teenagers now-may be the reason why they are shy. Besides, the environment they grew up in also influences their personality. There are lots of causes for shyness. Considering the size of the sample, it is highly possible that the relation is actually coincidence. And the kids may be more outgoing in the future.
In sum, the argument is logically flawed and therefore unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen it the author must provides relieable reliable study shows that the connection of the increasing levels of melatonin before birth and shyness whose sample is sufficient in representativeness and size.


不好意思，电脑出了问题，晚交修改稿了~~
写的比我好多了
我觉得我们都把问题列出来了，但是好像都没有深入的分析，所以每段的论证都不是很充分，elvisxiao 写的很不错~~号召学习一下

elvisxiaoUID: 2735076

Argument53

提纲：1.婴儿表现出紧张并非不熟悉的刺激所致，不排除其他因素，如母亲期间吃的食物还有母亲期间可能有病等等。
        2.不排除早秋怀孕的其他原因，而且我们在婴儿期难免会受到刺激，难道说我们都更有可能在早秋怀孕。
        3.不能简单的说紧张与害羞有关，因为样本数量太小而且那是孩子自己的判断，我们都知道孩子在teenager时期大多会表现出紧张特别是面对不熟悉的环境。
        4.即便上述成立，也不能说明melatonin会导致羞涩，因为在早秋怀孕的并非都表现羞涩，而且害羞是性格因素，并非是影响大脑功能的荷尔蒙所致。

TOPIC: ARGUMENT53 - Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.

WORDS: 595          TIME: 01:08:47          DATE: 2010/5/26 22:50:47

In this argument, the speaker concludes that the increased melatonin cause shyness which, in turn, continues into later life. To justify this claim, the speaker cites the following evidences that a research shows that some unfamiliar stimuli bring infants mild distress, and these infants are more possible to be conceived in early autumn, and more than half of those infants consider themselves as shy during teenagers. However, a careful examination  would reveal how groundless the conclusion is.

In the first place, the speaker could not rule out other factors causing the mild distress of infants apart from some unfamiliar simuli. Maybe these suimuli indeed make infants show mild distress, the researcher, however, fail to point out whether surrounding around them do not play a role in the mild distress of infants. It is most likely that what their mothers eat and what mother suffer do influence the infants who show signs of mild distress. Therefore, the result of the research is worth doubting.

Admittedly, the research really substantiate the cause between unfamiliar stimuli and infants who show mild distress, but this indicate unnecessarily that mothers are under pregnant in early autumn more probably. The condition of life mothers  live can also affect the pregnant. Moreover, we are hard to avoid suffering  unfamiliar stimuli during infants due to mothers' activities. In this case, aren't we all more likely to be conceive  in early autumn? The answer is clearly absurd, as we know, there are babies given birth to every season or every month, even every day. Thereby, the discovery of research maybe is misunderstanding.

Additionally, the speaker overlooks that more than half in 25 will not stand for all infants and the self-identification will also not indicate they are really shy. Only 25 infants in total studied in the research is a little data in relation to mass infants in society, so even if 50 percents of them consider themselves as shy, which also does not show that others infants showed signs of mild distress are really shy. And the self-identification is just subjective evaluation , and not behalf of their real character. As a teenager, it is normal to show shyness when facing with other strangers and unfamiliar situation. In this case, the speaker may not assert  that these infants is related to their shyness.

Finally, even if we admit that those infants who show mild distress are shy and possible to be conceive in early autumn, but it is presumptuous to judge the cause between the increased melatonin and the shyness according to the above evidences. The speaker will not demonstrate that infants conceives in early autumn are indeed the shy children in after several years; it is possible that the shy teenagers are conceived in other seasons, thus, the melatonin do not nearly have to with the shyness. As the speaker says, the melatonin is a hormone affected some brain functions, the shyness, however, is the category of character which is infants by family conditions and genetics. Even if the melatonin will cause shyness, yet, no other information indicates that this shyness will continues into later life. And with the development of teenagers, they will learn more skills about communication with others, which make them  become stronger and calm in some strange situation.

In sum, the argument is not well reasoned. To make it logically acceptable, the speaker would have to demonstrate that other factors will not influence the mild distress of infants. Additionally, the speaker had better provide evidence that the shy children are just the infants who were conceived in early autumn.

elvisxiaoUID: 2735076

改组长的

1.婴儿表现出来的紧张可能是由于不舒服或害怕引起的，没有证据表明是害羞，所以与那个**素没有关系
2.没有证据表面这个素的功能，能否影起他们的害羞
3。 影响性格的因素很多，该调查没有考虑将别的因素


TOPIC: ARGUMENT53 - Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
WORDS: 406          TIME: 01:51:10          DATE: 2010/5/26 22:18:31

The survey indicates that the levels of melatonin increased （原句是increased levels of melatonin 不知道这样表达准不准确）before people were born cause shyness during infancy and the influence extend （extends?）to their later lives. In order to illustrate its results, the survey incites（cites） the following facts: (1) 25 infants who were born in early autumn, a time when the melatonin produced by their mothers was increased, showed distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli; (2) The hormone, melatonin affects some brain functions; And (3) after those 25 infants became teenager, more than half of them identified themselves as shy. Close scrutiny of each of these facts, however, reveals that none of them lend credible support to the result.

Firstly, infants showing distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli do not necessarily indicate that shyness caused. For the survey doesn't show any persuasive evidences to support that infants showing of mild distress was caused by shyness,（这里理解错了，是刺激导致了羞涩，并非羞涩导致刺激） we can easily consider that uncomfortable feeling or  harsh sounds maybe cause infants' mild distress, as a potential reason.  Moreover, the statistic, 25 infants, lacks representativeness in illustrate the melatonin's affection. So the showing of distress about 25 infants show powerless to prove the result.

Secondly, there are no scientific evidences proofing the function of melatonin, whether it can cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life. Also, the survey does not apply any scientific researches to show whether infants born in the early autumn would suffer the affection to some brain functions caused by melatonin. Therefore, it is possible for mothers to suffer it instead of infants. If so, we hardly assert melatonin causing shyness.

Thirdly, the survey unilaterally considered the reason causing shyness of these people. When it comes to a teenager's personality, we should take a lot of factors into account, such as the influence of parents, the phenomena of society where those infants grew up and so forth. Besides, different people have different ideas about the identification of shyness. Comparing with a talkative person, as Jay Leno, the host of Talk Show, some teenagers may consider themselves as shyness.（感觉受了一休影响，只要是他因即可，像常识之类都行的，并非一定举例，举例当然很好，给我的第一感觉就是像issue，不知道我的理解对不对，关于这点我也觉得要找找资料看看举实例好不好）

In sum, the survey lacks convincing researches and factors to powerful illustrate its result. To support its result, it should provide more persuasive statistic showing the affection caused by melatonin, and make a comparison between infants born in different seasons and environments where they grow up.  The research should also make a further illustration to analyse(analyze) the affection to infants from melatonin, to make it more believable.（结尾部分要提出一些重要的改进意见，就是逻辑链中的最主要的部分，这需要自己对这题的逻辑链要搞清楚）

觉得组长的逻辑链没有搞清楚，论证的有点乱（恕我直言），这可能就是导致感觉难写的原因，最后部分的提议要能起到画龙点晴的作用 就是如果改进了之后，论证基本没问题。
还有我也刚准备没多久，要是有不对的，希望大家能指出来。。。

grassfreeUID: 2807794

1婴儿在不熟悉环境中的轻微压力的原因，不一定是荷尔蒙作用。因为这25个婴儿除了均在秋天出生外，还可能有其他相同特征，导致shyness。即使只有在秋天出生这一个相同点，那么秋天存在别的因素可能会影响婴儿，不一定只是荷尔蒙。
2样本容量太小，不能代表全部
3十几岁时害羞不代表长大了继续害羞，时间段太短，不足以说明问题。
4十几岁时的研究方法是否与13年前一致。

In this argument, the author concludes that increased levels of melation before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life. At first glance, this argument seems to be convincing, but further reflection reveals that these evidences neither constitute a logical statement in support of its conclusion nor providing compelling support making this argument sound and invulnerable.

The threshold problem with this argument is that the author assumes that born in early autumn is the only identical point of these 25 infants and the increasing of a certain hormone is also the only features in autumn. Although this is entirely possible, the argument lacks evidence to confirm this assumption. It is most likely that there are other identical points these 25 infants’ shares, which may also possibly influence the infants. Even if born in autumn is the only identical point these infants shares, other particular factors of autumn may be the main influence instead of the melation's increasing. For example, they may be all early born and some negative factors of early-born will cause infant' shyness. And the climate of autumn which is particular may be a decisive factor of infant shyness. Until the author provides further evidence to exclude all these concerns, it is unfounded to reach the conclusion involved in the argument.

The second flaw that weakens the logic of this argument is that the author assumes these 25 infants can represent the whole infants. Nevertheless, view from the aspect of statistics, the volume of sample is so small that can't represent the entirety situation. An appropriate example is not very far to seek. It is quite possible that only the infants born in a certain area will have this problem, so the dates offered by hospital in this area is not convincing. In short, without enough date base’s supporting, it is reasonable to cast considerable doubt on this assumption.

The last but not the least important, even if the author can substantiate all of the foregoing assumptions, the method he used in two studies is very important. It is much more possible that same method is used in these two studies while the causes that may cause sample feel distressful changed as age increases. There is a compelling example. The unfamiliar stimuli of teenagers are different from infants, so an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice can’t be used for a teenager’s study.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. Therefore, if the author had considered the given factors discussed above, the argument would have been more through and logically acceptable

grassfreeUID: 2807794

占楼。对了，弱问下，周四的提纲，我对应的是几号？

elvisxiaoUID: 2735076

占楼。对了，弱问下，周四的提纲，我对应的是几号？
grassfree 发表于 2010-5-27 00:27

苹果的是argument 10...