有没有高人能帮我我改下作文呢？谢谢了

wyflwyUID: 2672975

题目：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing sports teaches people more lessons about the life.


As modern society develops, people will pay more attention to play sports. Because, people can, through the playing sports, make the body stronger and release the work pressures. While, playing sports teaches people more lessons about the life? When it comes to this problem, there isalways a debate; the vast majoring of people would agree with playing sports teaches people more lessons about the life, while others disagree with this opinion. As far as I am concerned, the former idea is more favorable to me.



So numerous reasons of the critical importance I try to emphasize. First of all, I agree with playing sports teaches people more lessons about the life is that we can learn about how to work including both teamwork and concentration, For instance, my favorite sports is basketball and often take part in basketball match. It is important that you must trust your teammate and the more united of the team the more team will be defeated. If you only trust yourself there would be lost even though you are Michael Jordan. Once, I played a match, which the opposite side is weak, so I played so overconfident that never pass the ball to teammate if the ball on my hand. As a result, however, we lose the match though I got lots of points. The similar incident happened to another match with a different ending. We met a powerful team and everyone considers that we have little chance to win; however, we played teambasket and share the ball, and win the match in surprise. So, I recommend that playing sports is the undeniable reason why I learned the important of teamwork.



Another essential reason I’m trying to convey is that playing sports teach people to be a strong will person. For example, every Michael Jordan’s fans know about that Jordan had got high fever one day before the NBA finals match, in order to the championship, however, he insisted on attend the match. Not only did he got 41 points but also the Bulls win the match finally. So weak did he after the match that he cannot stand by himself. We saw a real warrior. When we think about these brought by sports aren’t we consider that playing sports teaches people more lessons about the life?



Finally, even though there are may be one or two reasons of playing sports teach people lessons, the minor negative affect is also exist. To illustrate, I have seen a lot of violence
things, for example, so many body collision lead to violence.



In conclusion, although I agree that may be a couple of negative things taught by playing sports, I feel that the advantages are more obvious. So, I support the idea that playing sports teaches people more lessons about the life.

不知写的怎么样，语法错误估计有不少，请指教，如果能告诉我这大概能得多少分最好了，谢谢了