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[a习作temp] Definitely, a victory 小组第1次作业 argument51 By 森森霖 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-6-12 17:26:11 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 fayememo 于 2010-6-12 17:33 编辑

同样写的很萎。。。


Thefollowing appeared in a medical newsletter.

“Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keepsome patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesishas now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups ofpatients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries byDr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibioticsregularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average,40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group allbeing treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills,although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their averagerecuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients whoare diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics aspart of their treatment.”



Theargument concludes that taking antibiotics while the patients are being treatedfor their muscle strain will benefit their treatment and help them healingquickly through an experiment which sets two groups to examine the effect ofthe antibiotics, and this conclusion is well advised by the author. However,some possibilities, which are actually vital elements to the study, haven’t beenseriously considered.

Firstof all, the antibiotics used in the study may match the condition of thepatients’ possible secondary infections, but not the exact variety fitting allthe imaginable infections during the treatment. By taking the experiment with aparticular kind of antibiotics, the author of the newsletter could advisepatients who are diagnosed with the same symptom to take the antibiotics aspart of their treatment, but not all patients.

Secondly,the result of the study is suspectable for some of the elements that should beidentical come out with differences. For example, the attending physicians ofthese two groups are distinct. The first group which the patients take realantibiotics is cured by a specialized doctor while the patients in the secondgroup are treated by a general physician. Surely the specialized doctor cangive more useful and scientific advises to help the patients heal. Even thedoctors of the two groups doing totally the same thing in the study, patientsin the first group would be more confidential to their treatment for knowingtheir physician is specialized and this must be somewhat instructive to theirhealing.

Thirdly,the comparison of the recover time is not so potent also because the physicalconditions of the patients are not the same. There is a probability that thereason why the first group patients heal more quickly than the second group’s,even than the typically expected, is that the physical conditions of thepatients in first group is much better than the second group’s, not really theinfluence of the antibiotics. If so, the validity of the antibiotics need moreverify.

Overall,not all the patients with muscle strain suit the treat method (usingantibiotics) even if the experiment is reliable and scientific. But I stillinsist the study need some improvement not only at the aspect of the train ofthought but also the control of the variable quantities. Or this unfaithfuladvisement will do harm to the health of the patients who follow the wayseriously.

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发表于 2010-6-15 21:41:15 |只看该作者
The argument concludes that taking antibiotics while the patients are being treated for their muscle strain will benefit their treatment and help them healing quickly through an experiment which sets two groups to examine the effect of the antibiotics, and this conclusion is well advised by the author.(advise someone to do something,所以这句话语义上不合理) However, some possibilities, which are actually vital elements to the study, haven’t been seriously considered. (1此处加上对stimulus的评论会更好,比如author’s conclusion is unconvincing in many aspects.2 possibility和element 在这里用词不准确,可以说possibilities haven’t been seriously ruled out, 干扰variables in the study is not well controlled )First of all, the antibiotics used in the study may match the condition of the patients’ possible secondary infections, but not the exact variety fitting all the imaginable infections(需要换一种表达方法) during the treatment. By taking(conducting) the experiment with a particular kind of antibiotics, the author of the newsletter could advise patients who are diagnosed with the same symptom to take the antibiotics as part of their treatment, but not all patients.

Secondly, the result of the study is susceptible for some of the elements that should be identical come out with differences. For example, the attending physicians of these two groups are distinct. The first group which the patients take real antibiotics is cured by a specialized doctor while the patients in the second group are treated by a general physician. Surely the specialized doctor can give more useful and scientific advises to help the patients heal. Even if the doctors of the two groups doing totally the same thing in the study, patients in the first group would be more confidential(confident confidential 是机密的意思) to their treatment for knowing their physician is specialized and this must be somewhat instructive to their healing(instructive 不能在此处使用 helpful).

Thirdly, the comparison of the recover time is not so potent also because the physical conditions of the patients are not the same. There is a probability that the reason why(冗余) the first group patients heal more quickly than the second group’s, even than the typically expected, is that the physical conditions of the patients in first group is much better than the second group’s, not really the influence of the antibiotics.(句子太长,建议换成短句) If so, the validity of the antibiotics need more verify(further verification).

Overall, not all the patients with muscle strain suit the treat method (using antibiotics) even if the experiment is reliable and scientific. But (此处为什么要转折呢?不明白)I still insist the study need some improvement not only at the aspect of the train of thought but also the control of the variable quantities. Or(otherwise) this unfaithful advisement(advice) will do harm to the health of the patients who follow the way seriously.

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RE: Definitely, a victory 小组第1次作业 argument51 By 森森霖 [修改]

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Definitely, a victory 小组第1次作业 argument51 By 森森霖
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