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[a习作temp] Definitely, a victory 小组第1次作业 argument169 by 10号;9号修改 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-6-17 10:19:57 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
169. The following appeared in a letter from a department chairperson to the president of Pierce University.
"Some studies conducted by Bronston College, which is also located in a small town, reveal that both male and female professors are happier living in small towns when their spouses are also employed in the same geographic area. Therefore, in the interest of attracting the most gifted teachers and researchers to our faculty and improving the morale of our entire staff, we at Pierce University should offer employment to the spouse of each new faculty member we hire. Although we cannot expect all offers to be accepted or to be viewed as an ideal job offer, the money invested in this effort will clearly be well spent because, if their spouses have a chance of employment, new professors will be more likely to accept our offers."



In this argument, the arguer brings a statement that the professors would be happier when their spouses are also employed by the same universities. The author brings the studies conducted by Bronston College in to supports. Besides, the author also suggests that by hiring their spouse to attract gifted teachers and researchers. At very first sight, the assertion is somewhat meaningful, while a further deliberation will bring the truth to the light. The argument is problematic for following loopholes.

In the most of the situations, the professors’ spouses have their own careers. My first questioning target will be whether their spouses would like to abandon their career while working in the campus. If so, will they be comfortable to work at a total unfamiliar field. In the sight of universities, it is not a good idea.
First of all, the campus will pay for the spouses’ work. If the spouses are not professional enough to fulfill the requirements, what will other workers complain about? It is not justice for people. Secondly, the spouse will not happy if they would face an occupation that is not their preference. That will also affect the professors’ performance. The loss outweighs the gain.
(本段加方框的观点和本段全部分的观点有些重复,可和适当修剪更好。)

Besides that, the argument presents a commitment that is logical misunderstanding of the choice and spouse.
The universities who conduct the studies are all located in a small town.
(这句与下文矛盾,感觉应该为:The universities are all located in the cities
The reason for the professors why they do not prefer to those universities is the location. In small town, we can predict a relatively laggard education and sanitation environment. They may take the
theirchildren in to consideration. Hence the cause-effect relationship is not reliable. Furthermore, the attraction for a professor is the research environment and opportunities. The studies focus on are presentationis just one aspectwhile the main reason for professor choosing.

Last but not least, the evidence that the author provides is insufficient to support the conclusion drawn from it. The samples in one university are rarely sufficient to establish a general conclusion. Unless the arguer can expand the samples from one university in a small town to universities all over the nation, this assumption can not be accepted.

In conclusion, it is factors that the authors neglect for professors choosing the workplace. The author magnifies the one reason for the choice. And the evidence is too weak to support the claims sufficiently. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer should provide more substantial evidence concerning the reasons not only were provided, but also other aspects about the reasons the professors choose their occupation.

(该文不错,结构,论据都挺好的。)

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RE: Definitely, a victory 小组第1次作业 argument169 by 10号;9号修改 [修改]

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Definitely, a victory 小组第1次作业 argument169 by 10号;9号修改
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