issue17&argument219-----1010G欢迎拍文作文修改小组6月20日作业

fchenyanUID: 2804020

issue17
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"There are two types of laws: just and unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws."
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argument219
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The following appeared in a memorandum from a vice president of the Megamart department store chain.
"For the third year in a row, the average household income in our country has risen significantly. That prosperity means that families are likely to be spending more time and money on leisure activities. Megamart stores should therefore concentrate on enlarging and promoting its line of products typically used in leisure activities: athletic and outdoor equipment, televisions, gourmet cooking equipment, and luggage and travel accessories."
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由于一些个人原因导致整个群组的活动中断，在此向大家诚挚的道歉。会逐渐完善本组的运行方式，请大家监督。
有同学说看到大家的文章觉得“写的很烂”，我很受刺激，因为机考在即，时间紧迫，而且就写作而言还很没有感觉，希望大家一起以此为动力，不懈努力。
PS：最近觉得自己的作文中总是几个很poor的句型在重复，所以希望大家一起把自己觉得很好的句型或者结构拿出来分享，以此打好AW的根基。分享办法
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1111689&extra=

fchenyanUID: 2804020

TOPIC: ISSUE17 - "There are two types of laws: just and unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws."
WORDS: 419          TIME: 00:49:40          DATE: 2010-06-20 17:14:54

I agree with the issue that every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and it is more important to disobey and resist unjust laws.

It is widely accepted that each member of a society has to and also should obey just laws. That's because laws are regulations that we do almost everything according to, and once disobey, we must be blamed. It is more important as to just laws, generally accepted, people always go into raptures at mere mention of what roles our just laws play and even little babies can enumerate several significant of them, for example, just laws guarantee the safeness and rights of everyone.

In a society, people have rights to disobey and unjust laws. Obviously, laws are made by people to protect profits of some groups, and in most societies, these groups are made up by the most common people. We allow defects exist as nothing is perfect, but we have rights and duties to make everything better in the direction toward perfect, so is to the system of laws. Some people think that laws are made and carry out by governments of different levels, but in a democratic society all governments are institutions service for the most ordinary individuals, so every of us have rights to correct their mistakes.

It turns out to be difficult sometimes but it is worth to make efforts to make our society just and beautiful. Almost every society is on their way of coping with unjust laws and making new just ones, and there are so many heroes in the history and some of them are right among us. Without them societies are going on moving on the wrong ways and people are keeping on paying for laws that are unjust. Thanks to them, there are fewer unjust laws and fewer unjust things too, but we are still far away from the end line of that tough way. So we have responsibilities to disobey and resist unjust laws.

However, we should disobey and resist unjust laws at the basic of rational identifying and carefully analysis. Whether a law is just or unjust is rarely a straightforward issue because the fairness of any law depends on one's value system and personal interests, however disobeying and resisting unjust laws often has the opposite affects of what was intended or hoped for.

In sum, every individual in a society should obey just laws, more importantly, our actions such as resistance of disobedience should be take out properly.


TOPIC: ARGUMENT219 - The following appeared in a memorandum from a vice president of the Megamart department store chain.

"For the third year in a row, the average household income in our country has risen significantly. That prosperity means that families are likely to be spending more time and money on leisure activities. Megamart stores should therefore concentrate on enlarging and promoting its line of products typically used in leisure activities: athletic and outdoor equipment, televisions, gourmet cooking equipment, and luggage and travel accessories."
WORDS:403          TIME: 00:40:00          DATE: 2010-06-20 17:14:54

The memorandum form a vice president of the Megamart department store chain recommends that Megamart stores should concentrate on enlarging and promoting its line of products typically used in leisure activities. To support this conclusion the memo analyses the average household income nationwide and people's trend of assumption, however it cannot make people convince that the recommendation should be carried out.

Firstly, the memo begins with an assumption that the average household income in the country would keep on rising. The author only referred to what happened for the third year in a row, but that is far less than enough. People are always worry about the situation of economic of the whole world, so we cannot draw a conclusion about people's income and no one have enough courage to predict what would happen in the future, and decision made on the basic of such kind of assume is too dangerous. Yet, the more information about people's income and trend of economic nationwide and even worldwide are needed to support this assume.

Secondly, even assuming that people's income will rise, that not means that families are likely to be spending more time and money on leisure activities. That depends on people's real condition, and more consideration about other needs like buying bigger houses, better cars and paying for better education and so on. Almost every individual have his or her own plans, so whether leisure activities are included and how important they are placed are not sure yet. So we need more data to make the assumption more convincing.

Thirdly, more detail analysis are needed to make sure what kinds of products people would prefer. People always think of things like athletic and outdoor equipment, televisions, gourmet cooking equipment and luggage and travel accessories, but as a vice president of department store chain should make recommendation more reasonably because residents living around their stores may have various hobbies and differences in spending leisure times and they may have favorites of products of their own. So more consideration are need to make sure the listed products, and in order to properly evaluate the argument we need additional evidences.

In summary, this argument is not well reasoned because it is based on assumes that are not sufficiently proved and the advices from the vice president about kinds of products are need to be carefully considered. To make it a better recommendation, we need better reasoned.

sherryhuhuhuUID: 2834899

2# fchenyan


I agree with the issue that every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and it is more important to disobey and resist unjust laws.

It is widely accepted that each member of a society has to and also should obey just laws. That's because laws are regulations that we do almost everything according to, and once disobey！！ing them, we must！！(不知是不是换成will更好) be blamed. It is more important as to just laws, generally accepted, people always go into raptures！！(此处是不是有些夸张？) at mere mention of what roles our just laws play and even little babies can enumerate several significant of them, for example, just laws guarantee the safeness！！(safety) and rights！！(前加定语reasonable或者appropriate？) of everyone.

！！(承上启下However一类的)In a society, people have rights to disobey and unjust laws. Obviously, laws are made by people to protect profits of some groups！！(直接用定语从句which……, and in most societies, these groups are made up by the most common people). We allow defects to exist as nothing is perfect, but we have rights and duties to make everything better in the direction toward perfect, so is to the system of laws. Some people think that laws are made and carry out by governments of different levels, but in a democratic society all governments are institutions service for the most ordinary individuals, so every of us have rights to correct their mistakes.

It turns out to be difficult sometimes but it is worth to make efforts to make our society just and beautiful. Almost every society is on their way of coping with unjust laws and making new just ones, and there are so many heroes in the history and some of them are right among us. Without them societies are going on moving on the wrong ways and people are keeping on paying for laws that are unjust. Thanks to them, there are fewer unjust laws and fewer unjust things too, but we are still far away from the end line of that tough way. So we have responsibilities to disobey and resist unjust laws.！！(用个例子 如 马丁路德金反对对黑人的歧视 会不会更好)

However, we should disobey and resist unjust laws at the basic of rational identifying and carefully analysis. Whether a law is just or unjust is rarely a straightforward issue because the fairness of any law depends on one's value system and personal interests, however disobeying and resisting unjust laws often！！(这一段是范文上的 但是由于上文是比较赞同的 所以感觉 often 换成 sometimes 更好些而且这一段有两个however 用个nevertheless啥的) has the opposite affects of what was intended or hoped for.

In sum, every individual in a society should obey just laws, more importantly, our actions such as resistance of disobedience should be！！ taken out properly.

yogurt4UID: 198389

写的很烂很正常啊   不然还要组队干什么呢  我把自己以前写的作文拿出来看 只想找块砖头往自己头上拍过去。。。。保持练习，不断进步就好。


另外如果真觉得自己issue写的不太好，我的建议是看见题目先列中文提纲。列好提纲再开始计时写作文，我觉得这样至少帮助保证作文的质量。
argument就没什么建议了，把所有题目的错误都找出来，对着题目在脑子里想一下，都不用写下来。现在的练习量就足够。难题没几个，单独拿出来写。

yogurt4UID: 198389

关于句型  我觉得这个帖子不错
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=328073