issue80

red98UID: 136466

[B]80 "All students should be required to take courses in the sciences, even if they have no interest in science."[/B]

In such an era with rapid social development, sciences play a key role in our lives. Scientific knowledge is now indispensable for everyone. All students should be required to take courses in the sciences.

Today we cannot live without science. Science has influenced every aspect of our society. For example, electricity, which is based on physics, is universally used in our daily lives. Without it, we cannot phone our family or communicate with our friends. All transportation vehicles can’t run any more and we might have to walk to our destination or rely on such transportation tools as wagon. Everything would be with a slow pace. Every night, we would have to light candles to read books. We could not enjoy a live football match on TV. In a word, without electricity, we had to limit our activities in a very narrow territory, return to agricultural epoch with slow rhythm, and spend the boring day-to-day lives.

Electricity is just one of millions of examples showing the importance of science. We can find such cases anywhere. Even for this test, GRE writing, we need science also. Before the test, ETS has to advertise it and let the candidates know about the basic information. This first stage needs the support of science of modern communication. It also needs the support of computer science after the test begins because this is a computer based one. The last stage of the test, collecting the scores of candidates and computing the percentages, needs mathematics obviously. In fact, there are many other sciences used in the whole process of the test.

A man who has no fundamental knowledge of sciences cannot understand the changes of the world. He/she either can enjoy today’s convenient lives. If one didn’t know about the basic knowledge of computer science, he/she could not use the computer to ease his/her boring and repeated work. If one didn’t understand the modern medicine, he/she would not accept the new cure method. As a result, a boring even dangerous life would be led. So we should require all our students to take science courses to obtain basic knowledge.

Nowadays, there are many students not interested in sciences. They hold the opinion that sciences are useless and boring and refuse to take related courses. However, lacking interests cannot be the pretext of giving up the chance to learn science courses. Still we should let our students obtain fundamental science knowledge. Lacking interests in sciences among students is probably caused by improper teaching methods. Schools should study to find out an efficient way to teach our students sciences. As for students who are stuck on painting, the physical teacher can tell them the basic theory of chromatics. As for students who are interested in music, the teacher can also let them know about the frequencies of sound waves. The science knowledge will improve their work efficiency. To the above students who know about the basic theory of color and sound, they can use the computer to paint or compose music to get higher efficiency and quality. Therefore requiring the students to take science courses will make our students live better lives.

To sum up, because the science has played very important role in our daily lives, we should require our students to take science courses and get the fundamental knowledge. At the same time, our teachers should improve the methods of teaching to attract our students to learn science and led them to better lives.


577 words

SMMUID: 106624

Just a few comments.

You said in your essay  that science is important and therefore every student should take scince cources. It seems reasonable. But, to mme. it is still not convincing. Why I must  take cources? I can learn fron other sources instead of cources. You may make your analysis more powerful. This essay, to me, seems to be a TOEFL TWE essay.

But it's noly my opinion.  You have made a good begining. Just go ahead.

Thinlk yourself. Best regards.

red98UID: 136466

to SMM:

thank you very much for your warm-hearted comments.
i should strengthen argument by pointing out that taking science courses is the best way to obtain science knowledge.

thank you again

paisleyUID: 64183

In such an era with rapid social development, sciences play a key role in our lives. Scientific knowledge is now indispensable for everyone. All students should be required to take courses in the sciences.

Today we cannot live without science. Science has influenced every aspect of our society. For example, electricity, which is based on physics, is universally used in our daily lives. Without it, we cannot phone our family or communicate with our friends. All transportation vehicles can’t run any more and we might have to walk to our destination or rely on such transportation tools as wagon. Everything would be with a slow pace. Every night, we would have to light candles to read books（read一词够了。Books可去掉）. We could not enjoy a live football match on TV. In a word, without electricity, we had to limit our activities in a very narrow territory, return to agricultural epoch with slow rhythm, and spend the boring day-to-day lives.

Electricity is just one of （少the）millions of examples showing the importance of science. We can find such cases anywhere（应是everywhere，anywhere用在否定句和疑问句里）. Even for this test, GRE writing, we need science also. Before the test, ETS has to advertise it and let the candidates know about the basic information. This first stage needs the support of science of modern communication. It also needs the support of computer science after the test begins because this is a computer based one. The last stage of the test, collecting the scores of candidates and computing the percentages, needs mathematics obviously. In fact, there are many other sciences used in the whole process of the test.

A man who has no fundamental knowledge of sciences cannot understand the changes of the world. He/she either can（either用得不对，去掉，can后面加not） enjoy today’s convenient lives. If one didn’t （其实这里不需要用虚拟语气，一般时态就可以了）know about the basic knowledge of computer science, he/she could not use the computer to ease his/her boring and repeated work. If one didn’t understand the modern medicine, he/she would not accept the new cure method. As a result, a boring even dangerous life would be led. So we should require all our students to take science courses to obtain basic knowledge.

Nowadays, there are many students not interested in sciences. They hold the opinion that sciences are useless and boring and refuse to take related courses. However, lacking interests cannot be the pretext of giving up the chance to learn science courses. Still we should let our students obtain fundamental science knowledge. Lacking interests in sciences among students is probably caused by improper teaching methods. Schools should study to find out an efficient way to teach our students sciences. As for students who are stuck on painting, the physical teacher can tell them the basic theory of chromatics. As for students who are interested in music, the teacher can also let them know about the frequencies of sound waves. The science knowledge will improve their work efficiency. To the above students who know about the basic theory of color and sound, they can use the computer to paint or compose music to get higher efficiency and quality. Therefore requiring the students to take science courses will make our students live better lives.

To sum up, because the science has played very important role in our daily lives, we should require our students to take science courses and get the fundamental knowledge. At the same time, our teachers should improve the methods of teaching to attract our students to learn science and led them to better lives.


语言不错，清爽流畅，表意明白。错误也很少。另外每段都围绕一个中心，这样也很好。

你的问题出在中心意思上。其实你混淆了技术和科学这两个概念。 你上面说的全都是技术的重要性，你不妨把上文所有的science换成technology，你会发现意思一点也没有变，而且还更准确了。而科学这个词，更强调一种理念，一种实事求是的姿态，破除迷信的勇敢和锲而不舍的态度，不论它是否能在短期产生成功的技术。 你说的技术，只是科学的一个实际益处。 但对它对学生影响最大的方面却没有讲到。

要求学生修科学课程，更重要的是培养他们的这些态度，另外呢，锻炼他们的思维，因为这些课程是头脑的体操。

你上面讲的技术什么的，正篇文章就太浅了，像托福作文。你要把思想内容提升一下，才能符合GRE作文的要求。

不妨经常来看看前人写的文章，看他们是怎么组织思想，怎么出现闪光的ideas的

另外，你的文笔不错，也欢迎你多帮别人批改他们的作文。这样你的作文再次被批改的机会就很大了：）

red98UID: 136466

谢谢paisley  ：)
谢谢paisley的认真批改和积鼓励  我会加油的

red98UID: 136466

有个问题  
题目中的 courses in the sciences 到底包括哪些呀  数学算吗  
有时候会看到 mathematics and science  
是不是数学不包含在内呀？

paisleyUID: 64183

一般认为，哲学不算普通学科，因为所有学科的最高统领就是哲学。任何学科研究到深处，必然上升为哲学。它是对所有科学规律的高层次的归纳。

现在有趋向认为数学也处于这种地位。从各个学科越来越强的数学化倾向就可以看出来。不能用数学的学科被视为不成熟的学科。

所以你可以把数学算进去，也可以不算。

woolfUID: 136592

score 4