issue130

斑马慢蓝黑乱UID: 2788017

130. "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

Recently, the growing awareness about the socialization of children has been brought to the public, more and more people have recognized the importance of it because it determines the destiny of society. In the statement above, the speaker asserts that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, maybe his opinion is not groundless, however, as far as I’m concerned, I can’t agree with the idea completely.

Undeniable, education is intended to make students have good preparations for the future of both society and themselves in that children’s socialization determines the destiny of society. In order to make it better, people develop socializing education in many aspects. For example, in the respect of knowledge, more social science courses are introduced into regular education without cutting natural science education, which will improve children’s cognition of the society. In addition, children have more chance to take practice in various social fields, generally accepted, this is the best way for them to have access to the society. The most important is, educators have made great effort to indoctrinate virtues into children who can help bring about a better society, because, moral is the most important aspect in the process of socialization.

What’s more, education is playing an irreplaceable role in the development of the society and never stopping improving. How to make children socialized was always being a key issue all the time. In the past, the lagging system of education could still turn great person out, let alone we have reformatory education, it must be very beneficial to raise children of modern times.

Admittedly, the improving education can’t reflect it being accepted entirely by students, there still have many loopholes in this system. A case to this point is people are always keeping finding a better style of evaluation, but they still haven’t succeed. The most common examinations are regarded as the snuffing of the children’s enthusiasm of the study. As one of the most important aspect of education, a bad kind of exam can’t help the study of children. So, the revolution of the education still has a long way to go. There should be many changes if we want to raise children who can help bring about a better society

To sum up, people are trying their best to educate children who can help bring about a better society, what they should do is to find a better way as soon as possible with reserving good parts.

fchenyanUID: 2804020

130. "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

Recently, the g ...
斑马慢蓝黑乱 发表于 2010-7-4 17:54

issue130—by斑马

130. "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society." Recently, the growing awareness about the socialization of children has been brought to the public, more and more people have recognized the importance of it because it determines the destiny of society. In the statement above, the speaker asserts that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, maybe his opinion is not groundless, however, as far as I’m concerned, I can’t agree with the idea completely.（很流畅的感觉！羡慕哈） Undeniable, education is intended to make students have good preparations for the future of both society and themselves in that children’s socialization determines the destiny of society. In order to make it better, people develop socializing education in many aspects. For example, in the respect of knowledge, more social science courses are introduced into regular education without cutting natural science education, which will improve children’s cognition of the society. In addition, children have more chance to take practice in various social fields, generally accepted, this is the best way for them to have access to the society. The most important is, educators have made great effort to indoctrinate virtues into children who can help bring about a better society, because, moral is the most important aspect in the process of socialization. What’s more, education is playing an irreplaceable role in the development of the society and never stopping improving. How to make children socialized was always being a key issue all the time. In the past, the lagging system of education could still turn great person out, let alone we have reformatory education, it must be very beneficial to raise children of modern times. Admittedly, the improving education can’t reflect it being accepted entirely by students, there still have many loopholes in this system. A case to this point is people are always keeping finding a better style of evaluation, but they still haven’t succeed. The most common examinations are regarded as the snuffing of the children’s enthusiasm of the study. As one of the most important aspect of education, a bad kind of exam can’t help the study of children. So, the revolution of the education still has a long way to go. There should be many changes if we want to raise children who can help bring about a better society To sum up, people are trying their best to educate children who can help bring about a better society, what they should do is to find a better way as soon as possible with reserving good parts.（我想拍手鼓掌！我就像写成这样！！大赞！！）

短发mmUID: 2840480

Recently, the growing awareness about the socialization of children has been brought to the public, more and more people have recognized the importance of it because it determines the destiny of society. In the statement above, the speaker asserts that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, maybe his opinion is not groundless, however, as far as I’m concerned, I can’t agree with the idea completely.(有北美的味道)

Undeniable, education is intended to make students have good preparations for the future of both society and themselves in that children’s socialization determines the destiny of society. In order to make it better, people develop socializing education in many aspects. For example, in the respect of knowledge, more social science courses are introduced into regular education without cutting natural science education, which will improve children’s cognition of the society. In addition, children have more chance to take practice in various social fields, generally accepted, this is the best way for them to have access to the society. The most important is, educators have made great effort to indoctrinate virtues into children who can help bring about a better society, because, moral is the most important aspect in the process of socialization.

What’s more, education is playing an irreplaceable role in the development of the society and never stopping improving. How to make children socialized was always being a key issue all the time. In the past, the lagging system of education could still turn great person out, let alone we have reformatory education, it must be very beneficial to raise children of modern times.(这段有点小短,你所谓的改良式教学是指什么?如果不能阐明感觉就很空,而且如果我是阅卷人完全可以argue你,absent such evidence, blablabla…)

Admittedly, the improving education can’t reflect it being accepted entirely by students, there still have many loopholes in this system. A case to this point is people are always keeping finding a better style of evaluation, but they still haven’t succeed(ed). The most common examinations(你确定用复数吗?都说the most了应该代表一个概念用单数吧) are regarded as the snuffing of the children’s enthusiasm of the study. As one of the most important aspect of education, a bad kind of exam can’t help the study of children. So, the revolution of the education still has a long way to go. There should be many changes if we want to raise children who can help bring about a better society

To sum up, people are trying their best to educate children who can help bring about a better society, what they should do is to find a better way as soon as possible with reserving good parts.
整篇文章很漂亮,文字功底可见,有北美范文的味道,但是欠缺的便是对于另一个关键词better society 的把握,作者怎么理解better society,思路已经很严密了,可能个人理解不一样,但是看了你的文章我很受启发,学习了.

yogurt4UID: 198389

超级瀑布汗，你们组又在搞什么咚咚？我觉得楼主这篇根本没展开好啊。

第一段根本没说为什么How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society，反而说说因为How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society，所以现在现在教育很注重儿童社会化。第二段说我们的教育从来没有停止进步，we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society到底是真还是假的问题完全没谈！最后一段完全是跑题。

clover213UID: 2807466

Recently, the growing awareness about the socialization of children has been brought to the public, more and more people have recognized the importance of it because it determines the destiny of society. In the statement above, the speaker asserts that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, maybe his opinion is not groundless, however, as far as I’m concerned, I can’t agree with the idea completely.

Undeniable, education is intended to make students have good preparations for the future of both society and themselves in that children’s socialization determines the destiny of society. In order to make it better, people develop socializing education in many aspects. For example, in the respect of knowledge, more social science courses are introduced into regular education without cutting natural science education, which will improve children’s cognition of the society. In addition, children have more chance to take practice in various social fields, generally accepted, this is the best way for them to have access to the society. The most important is, educators have made great effort to indoctrinate virtues into children who can help bring about a better society, because, moral is the most important aspect in the process of socialization.

What’s more, education is playing an irreplaceable role in the development of the society and never stopping improving. How to make children socialized was always being a key issue all the time. In the past, the lagging system of education could still turn great person out, let alone we have reformatory education, it must be very beneficial to raise children of modern times.（第一句话感觉和题目扣得不紧，这一段还可以再展开哦~）

Admittedly, the improving education can’t reflect it being accepted entirely by students, there still have many loopholes in this system. A case to this point is people are always keeping finding a better style of evaluation, but they still haven’t succeed（succeeded）. The most common examinations are regarded as the snuffing of the children’s enthusiasm of the study. As one of the most important aspect of education, a bad kind of exam can’t help the study of children. So, the revolution of the education still has a long way to go. There should be many changes if we want to raise children who can help bring about a better society（这段都在讨论education了 感觉还可以再和题目扣紧一点）

To sum up, people are trying their best to educate children who can help bring about a better society, what they should do is to find a better way as soon as possible with reserving good parts.

除了最后一段有点小跑，整篇文章的逻辑很清晰，遣词造句值得我学习啊。。。！
绿色的地方是好词。

短发mmUID: 2840480

4# yogurt4
酸奶大人,这篇1+1很难把握啊,我看牛人思路,看了半天没有把它联系到一起,不过LZ这篇文章文字功底肯定是比较出色的阿,我感觉直接把概念换成了educate了啊.如果用educate来想的话这2句到是可以连起来.这个题目很崩溃阿