issue147-----欢迎派汶作文修改小组

fchenyanUID: 2804020

TOPIC: ISSUE147 - "Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."
WORDS: 474
TIME: 00:50:00
DATE: 2010-07-07 7:50:23

Do we have to choose between tradition and modernization? Nobody will deny that there are differences between them, but they two embrace each other mostly.

I admit that we are enjoying modernization and getting far away from something that belongs to tradition. In the age of information, we communicate by calling and talking on the net but we seldom write letters. We travel by trains buses and planes but we never walk thousands miles to visit a friend. That is to say changes bring by modernization make our everyday life more and more comfortable and we the difference in most fields are positive to some extent, at the same time, that make something we were familiar to in the tradition disappearing.

However, most people realized that not all things appear in the modern time are good and we should treat tradition properly. It is our way of modernization that polluted our environment and making so many species vanishing. That is to say we should treat thing new coming calmly and cherish our tradition things. Most of us are learning history and all most everyone can tell a book that is written by people in old tradition. We should not abandon our traditional things like our culture and our sense of value because these are our roots for ever.

In some respects, tradition provides us ideas and materials to our modernization. Every day, we meet things that are modern but it is easier for us to embrace traditional ones like new designs that based on traditional ideas. It turns out that new songs of old style are more widely accepted. It has become a regular that traditional winds blow over the whole world once for several years and sometimes traditional style is the most modern one. That is to say some traditional things are never far from us and we never lose interests in them. We should make good use of our tradition.

I concede that in certain instances, we must throw some traditional things away but that is not simply to choose from them. Oversimplified ways of treating tradition and modernization like that is to defeat development itself. Sometimes to throw away is a particular way to exploit and acceptance of modern things is critical utilization of traditional things. Things fading away, no matter good or not, leave us a lot of experience and lessons that we should always refer to. When we are trapped by the power-down or shut off from modern things like internet and automobile, traditional things are the last things we can rely on. That is to say we should not forget or give up traditional things when we are consuming modern skills and comfort.

To sum up, the relation of tradition and modernization is not incompatible. We do not have to choose between them and we should not to.

clarence8UID: 2813388

我是最近才开始写作文的，前期准备的特不充分，这几天强迫着写。看完你的作文后，我发现在写的过程中我陷入了一些误区，譬如过分注重单词的使用，导致有时思路不清晰。鉴于我的水平有限，先向你学习啦！！

fchenyanUID: 2804020

我是最近才开始写作文的，前期准备的特不充分，这几天强迫着写。看完你的作文后，我发现在写的过程中我陷入了一些误区，譬如过分注重单词的使用，导致有时思路不清晰。鉴于我的水平有限，先向你学习啦！！
clarence8 发表于 2010-7-7 20:32

说些什么呢，给点修改意见吧，我写成这样是因为我中断了一个星期，现在我只追求结构和流畅，你总能看出些问题的吧，否则我只能认为你是不坦诚，这也算修改意见？

yaniiUID: 2807225

Do we have to choose between tradition and modernization? Nobody will deny that there are differences between them, but they two embrace each other mostly.

I admit that we are enjoying modernization and getting far away from something that belongs to tradition. In the age of information, we communicate by calling and talking on the net but we seldom write letters. We travel by trains buses and planes but we never walk thousands miles to visit a friend. That is to say changes bring by modernization make our everyday life more and more comfortable and we the difference in most fields are positive to some extent,(明白你想表达什么，但表达出来有些令人费解) at the same time, that make something we were familiar to in the tradition disappearing.

However, most people realized that not all things appear in the modern time are good and we should treat tradition properly. It is our way of modernization that polluted(has been polluting) our environment and making so many species vanishing. That is to say we should treat thing new coming calmly and cherish our tradition things. Most of us are learning history and all most（almost） everyone can tell a book that is written by people in old tradition. (论证力度不够， can tell a book 怎么和研究历史对今天是借鉴联系上呀？)We should not abandon our traditional things like our culture and our sense of value because these are our roots for ever.

In some respects, tradition provides us ideas and materials to our modernization. Every day, we meet things that are modern but it is easier for us to embrace traditional ones like new designs that based on traditional ideas. It turns out that new songs of old style are more widely accepted. It has become a regular that traditional winds blow over the whole world once for several years and sometimes traditional style is the most modern one. That is to say some traditional things are never far from us and we never lose interests in them. We should make good use of our tradition.

I concede that in certain instances, we must throw some traditional things away but that is not simply to choose from them.（求教这句有些不明白你想表达什么） Oversimplified ways of treating tradition and modernization like that is to defeat development itself. Sometimes to throw away is a particular way to exploit and acceptance of modern things is critical utilization of traditional things. Things fading away, no matter good or not, leave us a lot of experience and lessons that we should always refer to. When we are trapped by the power-down or shut off from modern things like internet and automobile, traditional things are the last things we can rely on. That is to say we should not forget or give up traditional things when we are consuming modern skills and comfort.

To sum up, the relation of tradition and modernization is not incompatible. We do not have to choose between them and we should not to.
文章思路清晰，只是个别地方有些语法错误（标记处），和语义表达不足的地方，再强化一下就好了。
在差不多是规定的时间里完成成这样，佩服啊！

raysun77UID: 2688235

1# fchenyan
呃。。。语法方面我就不罗嗦了，反正也帮不上什么忙，就在结构方面吹毛求疵一下好了，感觉你的思路很清晰，但是觉得段与段之间的衔接不是很紧密，记得以前上新东方时老师给的建议是研究一下GRE阅读，每一篇在结构方面都是经典，我比较懒啦，没有试过，不过你可以试一下哦