（重新修改了一次）求大神指点，语言很是问题，但不知道出在什么地方%>_<%

wmhhcUID: 2807539

无论写那个题目，都感觉语言相当有问题，很别扭，但自己又找不出来，请大牛们指点一下，不胜感激。





题目：ISSUE153 - "Students should bring a certain skepticism towhatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead ofaccepting it passively."
字数：671
用时：很长很长 2h多
日期：2010/7/11 1:00:20

It is agreed that science is developing with doubt. People always suspects about somescientific theory, so that they can take out new ideas and prove they arereasonable and right. Unstopped suspecting and proving keep the society andscience developing. As students, although we must be taught somethingpassively, we should not forget to suspect whatever we study.

Acceptingsomething passively is essential and significant sometimes. Because at thebeginning of learning a new subject, we may know nothing about this subject,and what we learn by passively accepting is the fundamental knowledge of thissubject. Without the fundamental knowledge, we have no qualification toquestion what we study, because the questions we ask may be silly andinsignificant. Only when we really comprehend the fundamental information, canwe question significant questions which are helpful to ourselves and thedevelopment of science. For example, when we are in grade one, can we ask theteacher that why one plus one must equal two? Absolutely not, we don't knowanything about math when we are in grade one and the question is silly, and itnot only can't help us in studying, but also may be teacher's burden becausethe silly question can't be solved. In sum, being taught passively is essentialbecause we don't need silly doubt.

As we studyingabout something deeper and deeper, being a suspecter seems to be helpful andimportant in some extents. Suspecting make us think more about what we learn,so that we can learn and comprehend it better with deeper thinking. Confuciushas said that if you study without thinking, you will be confused. Just likewhat Confucius has said, if we study the subjects without suspecting, we may beconfused about what we said because we can't comprehend them deeply. When weare solving the doubts, we can get a deeper understanding of what we study andwe can improve ourselves. For example, when I was learning physical chemistry,my teacher often told me that we should always be suspected about the formulain the books. He said that when he was studying physical chemistry, he wassuspected about every formula in the book because he didn't know how thoseformulas could be deduced. In order to solve the doubt, he deduced all formulasby himself, so that he comprehended the formulas and physical chemistry betterthan others. Thus, because suspecting can make us better, bringing skepticismwith us is really essential.

What's more,suspecting helps the society and science develop too. If we regard society as acar, suspecting and proving are the wheels and energy of the car. Without thewheels, the car can’t run and the society can’t develop. Science is just likethe society, people always doubt the theories before and they take out new one.If the new theories are turned out to be right, the suspecting help the sciencedevelop. For instance, the second chairman of China Deng Xiaoping, he suspectedthe policy which was made by Mao Zhedong. He thought that those policiesdeclined the development of China, so he launched a economic revolution, with apurpose to develop our country faster. And the high-speed economy developing inChina these thirty years turns out that the revolution is a wise one andimportant. Take the development of the model of hydrogen atom. In differentages, different people take out various models, such as Thomson, Rutherford andso on. They suspected about the models which were put forward by others, andthey designed new models. To prove the models are right, they did manyexperiments to verify their doubt. So that the model of hydrogen atom becomesmore and more acceptable with ceaseless revising. Therefore, withoutsuspecting, the society and science can't develop, because cars can't runwithout wheels and energy.

Consequently, weshould bring skepticism with us and we should be doubtful with whatever westudy, with the reason that it is not only helpful to ourselves, but alsohelpful to the society and science.




修改的：题目：ISSUE153 - "Students should bring a certain skepticism towhatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead ofaccepting it passively."
字数：624
用时：很长很长
日期：2010/7/11

It is agreedthat science is developing with doubt. People always suspects about somescientific theory, so that they can take out new ideas and prove they arereasonable and right. Unstopped suspecting and proving keep the society andscience developing. Well, I admit that bringing skepticism is vital, howeverexcessive suspecting seems to be harmful.

As we are studyingsomething, being a suspecter seems to be helpful and important in some extents.Suspecting make us think more about what we learn, so that we can learn andcomprehend it better with deeper thinking. Confucius has said that if you studywithout thinking, you will be confused. Just like what Confucius has said, ifwe study the subjects without suspecting, we may be confused about what we learnbecause we can't comprehend them deeply. Solving the doubts can make us get adeeper understanding of whatever we study and improve ourselves. For example,when I was learning physical chemistry, my teacher often told me that we shouldalways be suspected about the formula in the books. He said that when he wasstudying physical chemistry, he was suspected about every formula in the bookbecause he didn't know how those formulas could be deduced. In order to solvethe doubt, he deduced all formulas by himself, so that he comprehended theformulas and physical chemistry better than others. Thus, because suspectingcan make us better, bringing skepticism with us is really essential.

          What's more,students will be morehelpful for society for the reason that skepticism is crucial for developmentof society and science.Society is justlike a car and the suspecting and proving are just like the wheels and energyof the car. Without the wheels, the car can’t run, similarly the society can’tdevelop without suspecting and proving. Science is similar with the society,people always doubt the theories before and they take out new one. If the newtheories are turned out to be right, the suspecting help the science develop.For instance, the second chairman of China Deng Xiaoping, he suspected thepolicy which was made by Mao Zhedong. He thought that those policies declinedthe development of China, so he launched a economic revolution, with a purposeto develop our country faster. And the high-speed economy developing in Chinathese thirty years turns out that the revolution is a wise one and important.Take the development of the model of hydrogen atom. In different ages,different people take out various models, such as Thomson, Rutherford and soon. They suspected about the models which were put forward by others, anddesigned new models. To prove the models are right, they did many experimentsto verify their doubt. So that the model of hydrogen atom becomes more and moreacceptable with ceaseless revising. Therefore, suspecting is significant for studentswho will be the world’s constructor in the future.

However, notonly does the undue suspecting be helpful, but also it thwart from learning andabsorbing the knowledge well. Spending too much time on suspecting, students mayhave little energy to study lessons which is their own business and they mayignore the useful knowledge. How can a student possibly study math well if theyalways suspect whether one plus one equals two is right. Exorbitant suspectingon basic knowledge makes students move hardly on the way of learning.

Consequently, suspecting is just like a double-edged sword. Properdoubt helps us to learn better and provide necessary impetus for the developmentof society and science, but undue suspecting make us stunk in studying. In mypoint of view, we should find the balance between suspecting and being taughtpassively. Thus students can get a better development.

hyacinthUID: 2184492

It is agreed that science is developing with doubt    ?????


what is your main point??? i know you tried to say it in the last sentence of your 1st paragraph, but it is still too vague...

And this topic is pretty much about critical thinking, the gist of American college, specifically liberal arts education.  i dont think you understand the idea of critical thinking... if it helps, wikipedia it....

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I think your main problem is that you didnt really make an assertion in your essay...  everything is too vague.... and you didnt relate your example to your main points which is partly the reason i feel like your essay is not fully elaborated as well... when i say example, i meant the car and the wheel....

i didnt read through your essay, but these are the things i catch....

wmhhcUID: 2807539

2# hyacinth
谢版主指正，我错的确实不少%>_<%