Issue 11 【小组作业】

dingjunyuanUID: 2791730

TOPIC: ISSUE11 "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to emngage students in the process of solving the world's most perisistent social problems."
提纲：1。确实有很多世界性的问题要解决

2。解决需要一个国际性组织

3。解决的关键因素

4。不可行性

The speaker asserts that all nations should help build a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems.It might be tempting and fanscinating to agree with the speaker on the basis that there is a lot of emergent global problems which involves everybody's live.Nevertheless,the speaker overloolks that the development of such a university may result in scramble of sources and instability of politics.In response to this issue,we need to analyze the proposition comprehensively and systematically.
Never having stopped the efforts to make our living circumstances peaceful and safe,we confront millions up millions of conundrums which could only solved by entire human beings' efforts.What does the world's most persistent social problems refer to?It contains sexual discrimination,racial discrimination,environmental deterioration,global financial crisis,war or famine and so on.Consider,for instance,the depletion of atmospheric ozone,which has warned the earth to the point that it threatens the very survival of the human species.At the same time, vast majority of nations are trying to build their factories in other countries to reduce their own environmental pollution.Nevertheless it is totally in vain as the consequence such as global warming and air pollution would influence all of the creatures.
To solve these complicated problems,it seems that the best way is to form international academic cooporation and guid them to exert themselves to solve the problems.It is expected that the student in such a global university could have a general awareness and diverse culture perspectives.These things help them to get a more comprehensive idea and more pragmatic methods.
No matter whether developing a global university is feasible or not,the key factor to solve the current problems around the world is to get over the political,cutural and religious differences between them and fight together for the common goal.Different cultures and religions bring different behaviors.As we all know,a large quantity of war is coursed by the conflicts between religious believes,considering the Crusades undertaken by European Chritians to recover jerusalem,the Holy Land,from the Moslems and the Japanese militarism whose wars bring Asians even people all over the world into deep pain.The goal of developing a global school is to bring various culture elements together and let the students be able to communicate with each other with less misunderstanding and unnecessary clashes.
Last but not least,whether a global universty is feasible is open to doubt.It may result in new problems in political and economic realms.How much should one country contribute to the alliance?How to distrubute the course or to use the local natural resources?it is hard to reach an agreement.So is to avoid some countries diverting the fund earmarked for education to other purposes.Therefore even if a global school is founded,there's few opportunities for it to maintain running normally.
To sum up,developing a global
university may help solving the world's most persistent social problems.Yet it is not so pragmatic as respected.

dingjunyuanUID: 2791730

欢迎大家来拍砖哈，第二篇。。。
大家往死里拍~

gtjohnUID: 2813321

The speaker asserts that all nations should help build a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems. It might be tempting and fascinating to agree with the speaker on the basis that there is a lot of emergent global problems which involves everybody's live[life?]. Nevertheless, the speaker overloolks[overlooks] that the development of such a university may result in scramble of sources and instability of politics. In response to this issue, we need to analyze the proposition comprehensively and systematically.
[comprehensively, systematically…给自己定了一个很大要求哈]

Never having stopped[never stop是不是就可以了] the efforts to make our living circumstances peaceful and safe, we confront millions up millions of conundrums[这次太难了吧] which could only solved by entire human beings' efforts. What does[do] the world's most persistent social problems refer to[mean是不是顺口点]? It contains sexual[gender, sexual我要想歪的…] discrimination, racial discrimination, environmental deterioration, global financial crisis, war or famine and so on. Consider, for instance, the depletion of atmospheric ozone, which has warned the earth to the point that it threatens the very survival of the human species. At the same time, vast majority of nations are trying to build their factories in other countries to reduce their own environmental pollution. Nevertheless it is totally in vain as the consequence such as global warming and air pollution would influence all of the creatures.
[如果这一段是讲为什么需要全球大学的话，感觉理由不是很充分，这些问题是全球问题没错，为啥要用个全球大学呢，自己办自己的然后大家来合作讨论不就完了么？感觉不是必要的。好像我写的时候也没有注意这个问题]
[看了你提纲，这段是说要有国际性组织，那放在文章中是什么用？国际性组织是应该有的啊，联合国，教科文，不都是么，要论证也应该是来说全球大学的必要性或者说好处]

To solve these complicated problems, it seems that the best way is to form international academic cooporation[cooperation] and guid[e] them to exert themselves to solve the problems. It is expected that the student in such a global university could have a general awareness and diverse culture perspectives. These things help them to get a more comprehensive idea and more pragmatic methods.
[很多写到diverse culture会引发冲突，为什么你认为是有利的呢，理由要说明下]

No matter whether developing a global university is feasible or not, [前后两句好像没啥联系]the key factor to solve the current problems around the world is to get over the political, cutural and religious differences between them and fight together for the common goal.[不同意了，比如贫困，失业，是要克服政治文化还是宗教问题？]Different cultures and religions bring different behaviors. As we all know, a large quantity of war is coursed by the conflicts between religious believes, considering the Crusades undertaken by European Chritians to recover jerusalem, the Holy Land, from the Moslems and the Japanese militarism whose wars bring Asians even people all over the world into deep pain. The goal of developing a global school is to bring various culture elements together and let the students be able to communicate with each other with less misunderstanding and unnecessary clashes.[最后一句是总结么？goal of a global university有点定义太简单了，不是要帮助解决社会难题了么，文化交流只是一个有利因素，而且不同的文化怎么就少一些misunderstandng 和 clashes了，没有交待]

Last but not least, whether a global universty is feasible is open to doubt. It may result in new problems in political and economic realms. How much should one country contribute to the alliance? How to distrubute the course or to use the local natural resources? it is hard to reach an agreement. So is to avoid some countries diverting the fund earmarked for education to other purposes. Therefore even if a global school is founded, there's few opportunities for it to maintain running normally.
[这段的理由不够充分，提出的问题都是可调和的，通过协商讨论不是不可解决的]

To sum up, developing a global university may help solving the world's most persistent social problems. Yet it is not so pragmatic as respected.
[是不是限时写的哈？写好自己把拼写先改改嘛。]

[立场似乎不是太坚定，认为有必要，但是不可行么？那不可行应该是你重点论证的内容吧。但是只有最后一段Body,理由也不是那么充分的。Body1,2是讲好处和必要性的话不是很有说服力，body3说不管能不能建成，要解决social problems是要干嘛干嘛，跟你要论证的有什么关系，说想说这些全球大学没办法做到所以不可行么？就是不管全球大学可行不可行，反正它不行？这篇理好思路，还是有话说的，body3个字数有保证了，尽量深入点不要弄得太散。修改的时候想好立场，结构上紧凑些]