ARGUMENT156 7.14，第一次限时30min的作文，第一次限时不要求修改，只给个评分就行

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PS：限时30分钟，字数350，写得是很烂了，只希望来个高人评下，这东西是3分还是能蹭到4分？离4分还多大差距？

TOPIC: ARGUMENT156 - The following is taken from an advertisement placed in a weekly business magazine by the Dickens Academy.
"We distributed a survey to senior management at International Mega-Publishing, Inc. The result of the survey clearly indicates that many employees were well prepared in business knowledge and computer skills, but lacked interpersonal skills to interact gracefully with customers. International Mega-Publishing decided to improve customer satisfaction by sending their newly hired employees to our one-day seminars. Since taking advantage of our program, International Mega-Publishing has seen a sharp increase in sales, an indication that the number of their disgruntled customers has declined significantly. Your company should hire Dickens and let us turn every employee into an ambassador for your company."

In this advertisment the author recommend that our company should seek help from Dickens to improve the communication effect with customer. The recommendation is based on a survey of Mega-Publishing, Inc.(MPI) and their one-day seminars. However, the advertisment fails to convince me for its four unfaily assumptions.
First of all, the author' conclusion require the statitics reliablitily of the survey sample. The author must show that the view of senior management at MPI is representive of our company. Yet there is not enough evidences provied by this ad. It is entirely possible that the survey only cover the management who only emphsise the ability of interpersonal skills, and a large mount of other mangement such as junior mangement who have more concern about the workers.
Second, the ad unfaily assume that their one-day seminars can make advantage for improving the employees' interpersonal skills. Yet this might not be the case. There might be more alternative explantations of it. The result that MPI has an increse in sales may a response of a better econmy situaion than befor. And it may be the reponse of hard working of some special worker which do not represent the other. Without ruling out these possibilities, the author cannot draw the casual relationship between the course and the work's skills.
Even assuming that the imterpersonal skills of employees are benefited by the one day seminars, the ad draw another conclution that their company has an augment in sales, only for the decrease of the account of their disgruntled customers. The author fails to present the sales number of this compay. so one can image that the company may has a decline in its sales.
Finally, the ad ingores that the differences between our company and MPI. The ad assums unfairly that our company need interpersonal skills for our success. Perhaps our company is a tech company which the hand skills is most needed. For that matter, the course may provide few help to us.
In sum, the ad is not well supported. It needs more evidences to convice me, such as, what is the standard of the sample of this survey, and how does the one-day seminars works.