欢迎拍小组 argu 35

crazyjooUID: 2805124

TOPIC: ARGUMENT35 - The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.
"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."
WORDS: 476         

The arguer claims that the number of headaches suffered by the citizen of Mentia would continue to decline because of the new use for salicylates. To make the argument more substantial, the arguer renders the fact that salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin which is used to treat headaches. In addition, the arguer cites a twenty-year study and points out the new use for salocylates. However, this argument suffers from several flaws.

  Firstly, the argument is based on the dubious assumption. Given the fact that salicylate and aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches, are derived from  the same chemical family, the arguer cannot justifably conclude that they can all treat headaches. Members of a same chemical family can be very different to each other for the very reason that they may be classfied by a few characterists that scientists regard as significant. Perhaps all of them share a same element or have similiar chemical structure. However, their functionality can vary considerably because they are  categorized by chemists rather than pharmacologist.

Secondly, the argument observes a correlation between the rifely commercial use of salicylates and  a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in the twenty-year study. However, the arguer fails to rule out other possible explanation for the decline. For example, the life quality of citizen of Mentia have improved over the last twenty year and therefore people are less likely to get headaches. It is equal possible that people have began to realized the improtance of liveing a healthy lives. Thus, more and more people prefer to spend their leisure time on exercising intead of playing cards or drinking beers.

Thirdly, the arguer commits a fallacy of overgeneralization. Even though we accept the arguer's assumption we discuss above that salicylate help cure headaches, it is arbitary to claim that the new use for salicylate would also be helpful to the treatment of headaches since preservatives and flavor additives  are two different things. Moreover, many foods are naturally in salicylates. If we continue to add salicylates to food as flavor additives, the salicylate ratio may be overdose.  Whether this kind of food is hurtful remains unknown until it is tested by empicial observation and withstand rigor scinenfic scruntiny.

The argument is well-presented, but not thoroughly reasoned. To make the argument more logically acceptable, the arguer should make a scientific analysis of salicylates and rule out other possibilities that might affect the result of the twenty-year study to make sure that salicylates do treat headaches. Moreover, more empirical observations of the new use for salicylates  are needed. Otherwise, the arguer's claim is presumptuous and opens to doubt.

aoweiUID: 2848764

按照imong关于讲作文开头的帖子，你的开头好像都只是restate and summarize the argument，
you can check that from
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... restate%D4%AD%CC%E2
其他的没仔细看

neverjustUID: 2848024

1# crazyjoo

The arguer claims that the number of headaches suffered by the citizen of Mentia would continue to decline because of the new use for salicylates. To make the argument more substantial, the arguer renders the fact that salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin which is used to treat headaches. In addition, the arguer cites a twenty-year study and points out the new use for salocylates. However, this argument suffers from several flaws.

Firstly, the argument is based on the dubious assumption. Given the fact that salicylate and aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches（这个插入语用的有点奇怪，因为这个应该只用来解释A的，与S无关，但是你的用法好像是在一起解释两个）, are derived from  the same chemical family, the arguer cannot justifably conclude that they can all treat headaches. Members of a same chemical family can be very different to each other for the very reason that they may be classfied by a few characterists that scientists regard as significant. Perhaps all of them share a same element or have similiar chemical structure. However, their functionality can vary considerably because they are  categorized by chemists rather than pharmacologist.

Secondly, the argument observes a correlation between the rifely commercial use of salicylates and  a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in the twenty-year study. However, the arguer fails to rule out other possible explanation for the decline. For example, the life quality of citizen of Mentia have improved over the last twenty year and therefore people are less likely to get headaches. It is equal possible that people have began to realized（ms不用过分） the improtance of liveing a healthy lives. Thus, more and more people prefer to spend their leisure time on exercising intead of playing cards or drinking beers.（个人认为这段重点应该着眼于没证据证明S和decline有什么关系，这样才能和你的下一段，更好的递进上，然后再想他因。另外最后一句加个may啊或者possible啊之类的比较好，尤其是你有玩牌和喝酒的脑补。）

Thirdly, the arguer commits a fallacy of overgeneralization. Even though we accept the arguer's assumption we discuss above that salicylate help cure headaches, it is arbitary to claim that the new use for salicylate would also be helpful to the treatment of headaches since preservatives and flavor additives  are two different things. （展开论证）Moreover, many foods are naturally in salicylates. If we continue to add salicylates to food as flavor additives, the salicylate ratio may be overdose.  Whether this kind of food is hurtful remains unknown until it is tested by empicial observation and withstand rigor scinenfic scruntiny.

The argument is well-presented, but not thoroughly reasoned. To make the argument more logically acceptable, the arguer should make a scientific analysis of salicylates and rule out other possibilities that might affect the result of the twenty-year study to make sure that salicylates do treat headaches. Moreover, more empirical observations of the new use for salicylates  are needed. Otherwise, the arguer's claim is presumptuous and opens to doubt.

感觉你应该把重点放在论点上而不是他因上。
以上均属个人看法。仅供参考，加油！