argument209

alickenUID: 2845947

1010G欢迎拍文作文互改小组 7.19作业

TOPIC: ARGUMENT209 - The following recommendation was made by the Human Resources Manager to the board of directors of the Fancy Toy Company.

"In the last three quarters of this year, under the leadership of our president, Pat Salvo, our profits have fallen considerably. Thus, we should ask for her resignation in return for a generous severance package. In Pat's place, we should appoint Rosa Winnings. Rosa is currently president of Starlight Jewelry, a company whose profits have increased dramatically over the past several years. Although we will have to pay Rosa twice the salary that Pat has been receiving, it will be well worth it because we can soon expect our profits to increase considerably."
WORDS: 466

TIME: 00:40:00
DATE: 2010-7-19 20:00:31

In this recommendation, the writer suggests to dismiss the president Pat Salvo and appoint Rosa Winnings as next term president. To support his suggestion, the writer considers the last three quarters decline in profits is due to the poor leadership of Pat. And information is cited in this recommendation that Rosa is a good leader. But these evidences cannot support the writer's suggestion well.

To begin with, the writer believes that it is Pat who caused the continuously fallen in profits. This point of view is ungrounded. First, common sense tells us that the rise and fall of companies is the result of all the staff together. It is unfair to contribute all the poor market performance to Pat. Before the writer judge the leadership standard of Pat, I think he should exam whether all the staff worked hard under the demand of Pat. It may perhaps that Pat have enacted many policies to improve selling, but some salesmen or saleswomen did not according to these policies, and maybe this is the direct reason that caused profits fallen. Second, there is no evidence indicate that during the term of Pat, he established some measures that lead profits decline. Without giving us convincing evidence, the writer cannot shirk all responsibilities to Pat. Third, the writer also ignores some other external reasons that cause decline. For instance depression of the toy market is a possible reason; if some other toy companies also undergo profits decline during last three quarters, it is naturally not the responsibility of Pat.

Secondly, although he wants to change a president, he should choose a president who has much experience in toy selling. The person Rosa may no satisfy such a condition. From the given information, we can only know that Rosa have much experience in selling jewelry. The difference between Selling toys and jewelries is obvious different. First the oriented clients are different: toys are to sell to children and jewelries are sell to adults; then the form of advertisements are also different. As a result, although have a good performance in Starlight Jewelry, he may not do well in Fancy Toy Company.

Thirdly, I think the writer should consider the extra cost of changing a president, not only the extra salary cost, but also some mental cost like many employee want to retain Pat. If Pat leave, the morale of these employee is certain turndown. If this is the case, the action -to change a president- will not retrieve the lost of last three quarters but fall more sharply in the coming quarter.

In sum, the consideration of the writer is not very completely. Some evidences in this recommendation cannot support his point well. And he also misses some significant information like the performance of other employees and conditions of toy markets.

Ocean~SprayUID: 2847693

In this recommendation, the writer suggests to dismiss the president Pat Salvo and appoint Rosa Winnings as next term president. To support his suggestion, the writer considers the last three quarters decline in profits is due to the poor leadership of Pat. And information is cited in this recommendation that Rosa is a good leader. But these evidences cannot support the writer's suggestion well.

To begin with, the writer believes that it is Pat who caused the continuously fallen in profits. This point of view is ungrounded. First, common sense tells us that the rise and fall of companies is the result of all the staff together. It is unfair to contribute all the poor market performance to Pat. Before the writer judge the leadership standard of Pat, I think he should exam whether all the staff worked hard under the demand of Pat. It may perhaps that Pat have enacted many policies to improve selling, but some salesmen or saleswomen did not according to （follow）these policies, and maybe this is the direct reason
that caused profits fallen. Second, there is no evidence indicate（indicating） that during the term of Pat, he established some measures that lead profits decline. Without giving us convincing evidence, the writer cannot shirk all responsibilities to Pat. Third, the writer also ignores some other external reasons that cause decline. For instance, depression of the toy market is a possible reason; if some other toy companies also undergo profits decline during last three quarters, it is naturally not the responsibility of Pat.

Secondly, although he（he，who？point out exactly to avoid confusion） wants to change a president, he should choose a president who has much experience in toy selling. The person Rosa may no satisfy such a condition. From the given information, we can only know that Rosa have much experience in selling jewelry. The difference between Selling toys and jewelries is obvious different. First, the oriented clients are different: toys are to sell to children and jewelries are sell （sold）to adults; then the form of advertisements are also different. As a result, although have（having） a good performance in Starlight Jewelry, he may not do well in Fancy Toy Company.

Thirdly, I think the writer should consider the extra cost of changing a president, not only the extra salary cost, but also some mental cost like many employee want to retain Pat. If Pat leave, the morale of these employee is certain turndown. If this is the case, the action -to change a president- will not retrieve the lost of last three quarters but fall more sharply in the coming quarter.

In sum, the consideration of the writer is not very completely（complete）. Some evidences in this recommendation cannot support his point well. And he also misses some significant information like the performance of other employees and conditions of toy markets.