第一次写arg，请问一下，关于并列性的错误怎么批？

wmhhcUID: 2807539

看的书上说是让步的批比较好，但是对于这种并列的错误怎么批呢？求助一下各位。是不是就是分段的批？但觉得这样批没有力度啊。。。



题目：ARGUMENT203 - The following appeared in a newspaper feature story.

"At the small, nonprofit hospital inthe town of Saluda, the average length of a patient's stay is two days; at thelarge, for-profit hospital in the nearby city of Megaville, the average patientstay is six days. Also, the cure rate among patients in the Saluda hospital isabout twice that of the Megaville hospital. The Saluda hospital has moreemployees per patient than the hospital in Megaville, and there are fewcomplaints about service at the local hospital. Such data indicate thattreatment in smaller, nonprofit hospitals is more economical and of betterquality than treatment in larger, for-profit hospitals."
字数：477
用时：00:30:00
日期：2010/7/20 16:44:22

This article draws a conclusion thattreatment in larger, for-profit hospitals is less economical and of worsequality than the treatment in smaller, nonprofit hospitals. In order to supportthis conclusion, the article cites several facts about the treatment in the twodifferent hospitals: (1) the average patient stay time in M, which is the lagerhospital, is longer than the stay time in S, which is the smaller hospital;(2) thecute rate in S is about twice that of the M;(3) S has more employees perpatients than the M;(4) there are few complaints about service at the hospitalin S. At the first glance of this article, it seems to be reasonable, butfurther reveals that lacking of sufficient evidences makes the conclusionsuspicious.


First of all, the shorter staying timedoesn't necessary to indicate the smaller hospital is more economical and betterquality. Many other factors can influence the staying time. For instance, becauseof the none-profit hospital is smaller, perhaps people whose ill is seriouswill go the larger and for-profit one for they may believe that larger hospitalhas better treating method. Also perhaps the smaller hospital can't look afterthe patients well after the treating, so the patients go back home rather thanstay at the hospital longer. In short, the shorter staying time are notreliable to indicate the smaller hospital is more economic and of betterquality.

Secondly, the higher cute percentage ofsmaller hospital is little indication that the smaller one is more economic.The article doesn't offer us the information of the patients in the two hospitals.Just as I say above, perhaps the patients who are serious ill tend to go the largerone and the ones who just catch cold go to the smaller one. As a result, thepatients in the larger hospital are essentially hard to cute, but the patientsin the smaller one are easily to cute. So the without the information of thepatients in the two hospitals, we can't conclude that the larger hospital isless economic and worse quality.

Thirdly, the number of the patients in eachhospital is unknown, so the fewer complaints and can't indicate the largerhospital is not economic and good quality. Perhaps, in the larger hospital,although the number of complaints is larger, the number of the patients is alsolarger. As a result, the percentage of complaints in the lager hospital may befew than the smaller one. In short, without the accurate information about thequantity of patients in each hospital, the more complaints in the largerhospital can't indicate it is less economical.

In sum, all the evidences which the articlecites to prove its conclusion are suspicious. In order to make the conclusionmore reliable, the article needs to provide more information about the twohospital and the patients.