argument7 【ForOneReason小组1】 2010.7.20 by流氓高手

流氓高手UID: 2686529

Argument 7

The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Clearview newspaper. “In the next mayoral election, residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than for Frank Braun, a member of the Clearview town council, because the current members are not protecting our environment. For example, during the past year the number of factories in Clearview has doubled, air pollution levels have increased, and the local hospital has treated 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses. If we elect Ann Green, the environmental problems in Clearview will certainly be solved."

Depending on the current situation of Clearview about increasing number of factories and patients with respiratory illness, supporting that Clearview’s environment is deteriorating and the mayor Frank Brauu should be responsible for it, and then synthesizing the hypothesis that Ann Green could solve the environment problem because of his role in the Good Earth Coalition, the author draw the conclusion that people should elect Ann Green rather than Frank Brauu as the mayor of Clearview. Careful scrutiny of the process of argumentation, however, reveals that it leads little credible support to the author’s conclusion.

First of all, the author unfairly assumes that the last year’s increase in the number of factories was due to the city council’s decision rather than some other factors, and that the air pollution is caused by the increase of the factories. The other provides no firm evidences to support it. Perhaps the mayor Brauu and the council actually opposed the increase of the factories but they lack the authority to constrain it. Or perhaps the some old factories, other than these new factories, are instead the real leaders which cause the air pollution of the Clearview. Lacking such evidence it is entirely possible to impute the environment problems to the mayor and the council.

Secondly, the author fails to establish the causal relationship between the increase in the number of the patients with respiration illness and the deterioration of the environment. The author does not put enough evidences to substantiate it. Without such evidence, it is equally possible that other factor are instead responsible for the increase number of these patients. Perhaps the real number of patients with respiration illness dose not increased, the increase treatment of the respiration illness in the hospital are just as the result of people’s growing awareness about the respiration health. Or perhaps these patients who get respiration illness are due to the their unhealthy diet or their habit of smoking.

Finally, in the argument the author assumes that electing Green as the mayor will surely solve the problem of the environment. However, he fails to provide any firm evidences that electing Green is necessary to solve those problems. Perhaps other candidates of the mayor, or other measures about solving the problem of environment will be more effectual. On the other hand, common sense tells us all the events in the city, including the environment problem, are not just determined by the mayor itself, but mainly depend on the decision of the city council, the citizens of the city, and even the policy of the state’s government. So the advice of changing the mayor of Clearview may not be such instrumental and effective as the author thought to the protecting and the recovering of the environment.

In summary, this argument is not persuasive as it stands.
To make it more convincing, the author would have to provide more evidence concerning the real reason of the air pollution and the increasing number of patients with respiration illness. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information about the ability and authority of Ann Green to help solve Clearview’s environmental problems.

行走天下UID: 2855381

The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Clearview newspaper. “In the next mayoral election, residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than for Frank Braun, a member of the Clearview town council, because the current members are not protecting our environment. For example, during the past year the number of factories in Clearview has doubled, air pollution levels have increased, and the local hospital has treated 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses. If we elect Ann Green, the environmental problems in Clearview will certainly be solved."

Depending on the current situation of Clearview about increasing number of factories and patients with respiratory illness, supporting that Clearview’s environment is deteriorating and the mayor Frank Brauu should be responsible for it, and then synthesizing the hypothesis that Ann Green could solve the environment problem because of his role in the Good Earth Coalition, the author draw the conclusion that people should elect Ann Green rather than Frank Brauu as the mayor of Clearview. Careful scrutiny of the process of argumentation, however, reveals that it leads little credible support to the author’s conclusion.（前面连着的几个动名词感觉有些头重脚轻）

First of all, the author unfairly assumes that the last year’s increase in the number of factories was due to the city council’s decision rather than some other factors, and that the air pollution is caused by the increase of the factories. The other provides no firm evidences（不可数哈） to support it. Perhaps the mayor Brauu and the council actually opposed the increase of the factories but they lack the authority to constrain it. Or perhaps the some old factories, other than these new factories, are instead the real leaders which cause（causes of） the air pollution of the Clearview. Lacking such evidence it is entirely possible to impute the environment problems to the mayor and the council.

Secondly, the author fails to establish the causal relationship between the increase in the number of the patients with respiration illness and the deterioration of the environment. The author does not put enough evidences to substantiate it. Without such evidence, it is equally possible that other factor are instead responsible for the increase number of these patients.(这两句可融为一句) Perhaps the real number of patients with respiration illness dose not increased（may not incease 去掉perhaps），the increase（mounting） treatment of the respiration illness in the hospital are just as the result of people’s growing awareness about the respiration health. Or perhaps these patients who get respiration illness are due to the their unhealthy diet or their habit of smoking.（很好的观点）

Finally, in the argument the author assumes that electing Green as the mayor will surely solve the problem of the environment. However, he fails to provide any firm evidences(u) that electing Green is necessary (it is necessary to elect Green)to solve those problems. Perhaps other candidates of the mayor, or other measures about solving the problem of environment will be more effectual. On the other hand, common sense tells us all the events in the city, including the environment problem, are not just determined by the mayor itself(himself or herself), but mainly depend on the decision of the city council, the citizens of the city, and(or) even the policy of the state’s government. So the advice of changing the mayor of Clearview may not be such instrumental and effective as the author thought to the protecting and the recovering (protection and recovery)of the environment.

In summary, this argument is not persuasive as it stands.
To make it more convincing, the author would have to provide more evidence concerning the real reason of the air pollution and the increasing number of patients with respiration illness. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information about the ability and authority of Ann Green to help solve Clearview’s environmental problems.(还可以试着用用被动句)
读下来的第一感觉是高手的逻辑上比较严密，从工厂增多，到环境污染，到患病人数增加，再到选市长后的变化，高手对主要的几个点都进行了讨论，给出了很多解释，我认为是很有力的。还可以再说说数字问题，毕竟比较通用。
语言上，高手经常使用doing做主语、定语，perhaps...or perhaps...,instead...，incease再用的时候注意进行一下同意替换哈

行走天下UID: 2855381

issue 明天看啦

无声的热情UID: 2744946

首段精炼点更好哦~