issue170--欢迎拍文

fchenyanUID: 2804020

TOPIC: ISSUE170 - "The surest indicator of a great nation is not the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but the general welfare of all its people."
WORDS: 482
TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2010-07-21 21:06:25


Which is the surest indicator of a great nation? The achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists or the general welfare of all its people? In fact, we have not to choose from them.
It is true that the achievements of minority play an important part. Sometimes, when we talk about the greatness of a nation, we cannot keep from mentioning its great rulers, artists and scientists. To some extent, such group of people makes a nation to be great as the mother land of them. A nation is great for those great people. Like Gandhi and Martin Luther King who will always be respected of what they have contributed to their nations, at the same time, their nations are famous for their deed. What make people give the Japanese literature is the works of Kawabata and other writers and Russia is a great nation as the birth place of Mendeleev and Pushkin. A nation is always great for its such group of minority.
However, the general welfare of all its people is also a good indicator of a great nation. When you are learning the history of a great nation, you will always feel shocked by its culture of its people. That's a image of the general welfare of all its people. People may respect its minority, but what makes people in reverence from the heart is its general welfare of its people. As a country with a population of billions, the enhancing of their living standard and that of civilization is work greater than any other kind of.
Further, the general welfare of all its people helps to add to the achievements of its people like rulers, artists, or scientists. With the increase of general welfare, people are given more and more opportunities to development, and is to individual interest. So that its people's potential can be brought into fully play, together with the good environments for them to perform as long as they are capable, the nation is sure to have more and more great achievements of its rulers, artists and scientists.
On the other hand, the achievements of that group of people promote the increase of the general welfare of all its people. A nation with a great ruler or leader will have an astonishing rapid of progressing, which will result is the increase in national wealth directly. As to artists, their hard working and great artistic creation will help to the increase of its culture, which belongs to the general welfare. A nation with a group of scientists will promote its capacity to produce and solve other kinds of problem emerging in the way of developing.
In summary, the achievements of its rulers, artists and scientists together with the general welfare of all its people will form a positive cycle which will make a nation a great one and they are both indicator of a great nation.

raysun77UID: 2688235

1# fchenyan
Which is the surest indicator of a great nation? （这里要用问号吗？which is your favorite fruit, A or B? 又或者说当A or B 比较长的时候前面用问号分开？）
The achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists or the general welfare of all its people?（发现你好像很喜欢用问句开头） In fact, we have not to choose from them.
It is true that the achievements of minority（因为minority 经常做“少数民族”解释，所以用minority group表示少数人会更好？）play an important part. Sometimes, when we talk about the greatness of a nation, we cannot keep from mentioning its great rulers, artists and scientists. To some extent, such group of people makes a nation to be great as the mother land of them（这句话没怎么看懂，. A nation is great for those great people. Like Gandhi and Martin Luther King who will always be respected of what they have contributed to their nations, at the same time, their nations are famous for their deed. What make people give the Japanese literature is the works of Kawabata and other writers and Russia is a great nation as the birth place of Mendeleev and Pushkin. A nation is always great for its such group of minority.(题目当中说的是great achievements of its rulers, artists and scientists，而在这一段中根本就没有提scientists什么事，但是不可否认的是整个人类进步过程中technology是很重要的哦，我觉得这道题rulers代表制定国家政策的统治者，artists代表在精神文明建设中的成就，而scientists就代表物质文明建设了，所以我认为你在论述the achievements of minority group时有一些浮于表面，再深入一点会更好)
However, the general welfare of all its people is also a good indicator of a great nation. When you are learning the history of a great nation, you will always feel shocked by its culture of its people. That's a（an） image of the general welfare of all its people. People may respect its（指代什么？）
minority, but what makes people in reverence from the heart is its general welfare of its people.（这句话有些绝对吧，就像朝鲜人民会很爱国但不是因为general welfare） As a country with a population of billions, the enhancing of their living standard and that of civilization is work greater than any other kind of.
Further, the general welfare of all its people helps to add to the achievements of its people like rulers, artists, or scientists. With the increase of general welfare, people are given more and more opportunities to development, and is to individual interest. So that its people's potential can be brought into fully play, together with the good environments for them to perform as long as they are capable, the nation is sure to have more and more great achievements of its rulers, artists and scientists.
On the other hand, the achievements of that group of people promote the increase of the general welfare of all its people. A nation with a great ruler or leader will have an astonishing rapid of progressing, which will result is the increase in national wealth directly. As to artists, their hard working and great artistic creation will help to the increase of its culture, which belongs to the general welfare. A nation with a group of scientists will promote its capacity to produce and solve other kinds of problem emerging in the way of developing.
这两段是在讲general welfare 和 achievement of minority group 之间的相互联系，
但是我觉得在对general welfare 的论述上还差一点，根据wikipedia的解释
Welfare or welfare work consists of actions or procedures — especially on the part of governments and institutions — striving to promote the basic well-being of individuals in need. These efforts usually strive to improve the financial situation of people in need but may also strive to improve their employment chances and many other aspects of their lives including sometimes their mental health. In many countries, most such aid is provided by family members, relatives, and the local community and is only theoretically available from government sources.
In American English, welfare is often also used to refer to financial aid provided to individuals in need, which is called benefit(s) or welfare benefits in British English
也就是说 welfare 主要是用来保障人民的基本生活的，当然除了瑞士那种超福利国家，但是从你的文章里我感觉你所定义的welfare就是一种很棒的，人们可以生活的无忧无虑，可以随心所欲的做自己想做的事的一种制度，因为在这道题里并没有给出welfare的定义，所以你可以这么定义，但是我认为你应该点出来让 ETS READER 明白你给welfare的定位，毕竟这跟英美国家约定俗称的定义不太一样）

In summary, the achievements of its rulers, artists and scientists together with the general welfare of all its people will form a positive cycle which will make a nation a great one and they are both indicator of a great nation.
罗里吧嗦一堆想法啦，其中可能会有我理解不到位的地方，仅供参考，嘻嘻