欢迎交流，有拍必回~Issue51【六人行小组8.2】by xyjprc

xyjprcUID: 2412778

哈网终于通了，赶快发上来，Eileen久等了~
这篇依然没限时间，不过因为写的是Education，比较贴近我们的生活，所以感觉写得比较顺手。
写完了之后发现似乎全篇上下没有什么例子，但感觉有很多理可说，字数有限，就没举什么例子@_@
不管怎么样，Eileen使劲拍吧，很期待你的回复哦~谢谢~:handshake

TOPIC: ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
WORDS: 612
TIME: 01:15:00
DATE: 8/2/2010 6:14:44 PM

Should education be specifically designed for each student to meet his needs and interest? As far as I am concerned, those specially designed education could greatly benefit the students, while highly customized courses for every student are not so practicable in reality. In this way, students must take compulsory classes, and schools should provide selective courses in various fields.

Individual needs and interests aimed education is, compared with traditional pedagogy of lecturing, much more effective. On one hand, as the saying goes, "interest is the best teacher", and a student's instinct to devour knowledge hungrily is aroused when he is put in a world that all his interested knowledge is just at hand, thus education would become highly effective--now not only the teacher but also the student himself is teaching. On the other hand, the pedagogy of lecturing is faced to the majority of students and cannot pay much attention on an individual. Thus to each student, he may find only a small fraction of the lecture helpful to himself. As a consequence, education specifically designed to meet the individual needs of each student could aim at teaching the knowledge he wants, rather than repeating the knowledge he has already known. In this way, the talent of each student is more likely to be discovered and the effectiveness of education is arisen. In a word, schools should be aware that the education considering the need and interest of students would be highly effective.

However, when it comes to reality, it is neither necessary nor possible to design different courses to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. To begin with, if student have the absolute right to choose what to learn, they tend to learn only the knowledge that they are interested in while avoid other seemingly dull but important courses. As the society is developing fast nowadays, more talents with cross-discipline techniques are demanded, and that, students with comprehensive knowledge and ready with techniques in some fields are the output that general education should provide. Moreover, some courses that teach students the right values, morality and basic knowledge on laws are compulsory, for the aim of education is not merely providing students with knowledge but helping them to be sound and useful men to the society. The last but not the least important, the limitation of education resources makes it impossible to offer each student the unique instruction. Highly customized education requires a high teacher-student ratio and maybe various kinds of experiment instruments, which cannot be extensively applied especially in those undeveloped places where the basic form of instruction could not be assured.

Undoubtedly, it is not good offering students with the unified and even rigid form of instruction. Students' character and talent would be smothered if they can only take compulsory courses, and they will gradually lose the interest to study well. Considering the matters discussed above, it is the school's duty to offer its students the indispensable disciplines as compulsory courses, together with other selective courses on various fields to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. In this way, a student major in civil engineering could learn his professions well by taking compulsory courses, while satisfy his desire of appreciating artworks by taking selective courses, thus the projects he designed in the future would more likely to be both solid and beautiful.

To sum up, on the basis that the compulsory courses are assured, education would be more effective when each student's individual needs and interests are better met. In this way, schools can try their best to offer more choices and autonomy to students as long as the quality of compulsory education is guaranteed.

Eileen312UID: 2648750

TOPIC: ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
WORDS: 612
TIME: 01:15:00
DATE: 8/2/2010 6:14:44 PM
Should education be specifically designed for each student to meet his needs and interest? As far as I am concerned, those specially designed education could greatly benefit the students, while highly customized courses for every student are not so practicable in reality. In this way[指代不明，this way指什么], students must take compulsory classes, and schools should provide selective courses in various fields.[开头很简洁，但是观点不是很明确。我觉得题目中心是群体与个体需求的比较，而把specially designed education与highly customized courses放在这里比较，似乎没切中要害]
Individual needs and interests aimed education is, compared with traditional pedagogy of lecturing, much more effective.[个性化教育>填鸭式教育，“specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student”也可能是填鸭式教育啊。] On one hand, as the saying goes, "interest is the best teacher", and a student's instinct to devour knowledge hungrily[devour knowledge hungrily, chinglish] is aroused when he is put in a world that all his interested knowledge is just at hand[when这一句限定有道理吗？], thus education would become highly effective--now not only the teacher but also the student himself is teaching[第一方面说理不够透彻，不能让人信服，如果是ARGUMENT的话，很容易被驳倒的]. On the other hand, the pedagogy of lecturing is faced to[aims at] the majority of students and cannot pay much attention on[to] an individual. Thus to each student, he may find only a small fraction of the lecture helpful to himself. As a consequence, education specifically designed to meet the individual needs of each student could aim at teaching the knowledge he wants, rather than repeating the knowledge he has already known. In this way, the talent of each student is more likely to be discovered and the effectiveness of education is arisen. In a word, schools should be aware that the education considering the need and interest of students would be highly effective.
However, when it comes to reality, it is neither necessary nor possible to design different courses to meet the individual needs and interests of each student[不现实=综合人才+基本科目+有限资源]. To begin with, if student have the absolute right to choose what to learn, they tend to learn only the knowledge that they are interested in while avoid other seemingly dull but important courses. As the society is developing fast nowadays, more talents with cross-discipline techniques are demanded, and that, students with comprehensive knowledge and ready with techniques in some fields are the output that general education should provide. Moreover, some courses that teach students the right values, morality and basic knowledge on laws are compulsory, for the aim of education is not merely providing students with knowledge but helping them to be sound and useful men to the society. The last but not the least important, the limitation of education resources makes it impossible to offer each student the unique instruction. Highly customized education requires a high teacher-student ratio and maybe various kinds of experiment instruments, which cannot be extensively applied especially in those undeveloped places where the basic form of instruction could not be assured.
Undoubtedly, it is not good offering students with the unified and even rigid form of instruction. Students' character and talent would be smothered if they can only take compulsory courses, and they will gradually lose the interest to study well. Considering the matters discussed above, it is the school's duty to offer its students the indispensable disciplines as compulsory courses, together with other selective courses on various fields to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. In this way, a student major in civil engineering could learn his professions well by taking compulsory courses, while satisfy his desire of appreciating artworks by taking selective courses, thus the projects he designed in the future would more likely to be both solid and beautiful.[必修课+选修课]
To sum up, on the basis that the compulsory courses are assured, education would be more effective when each student's individual needs and interests are better met. In this way, schools can try their best to offer more choices and autonomy to students as long as the quality of compulsory education is guaranteed[与on the basis that the compulsory courses are assured重复].

[全篇都在说理，让人云里雾里、将信将疑，结合事例分析会更透彻一些。
对题意的理解不是很到位。
全文逻辑感不强，虽然用了逻辑词。
用词、用句很好。
纯属个人意见，欢迎交流！O(∩_∩)O~]

xyjprcUID: 2412778

2# Eileen312

首先感谢Eileen的批改~

开头第二句specially designed education与highly customized courses不是想把它们作比较；它们是一样的，都是指的为学生定制的课程，前半句说学生会从这种课程中受益，后半句说这种课程形式难以实现。

第二段开头句想表达的不是“个性化教育>填鸭式教育”，而是个性化教育>传统的大众式教育，和填鸭式教育还是有一定区别的。

“when he is put in a world that all his interested knowledge is just at hand” 的这一句的“when”不是想限定，而是想说“一旦……”，看来应该用once并且提到前面去。

看来表述上还是有一定问题的，会影响到阅卷人的理解。互改的确很必要，自己以为写清楚了的东西，别人就不一定能看明白。

嗯还是在理解和分析题意还有逻辑上有一定问题，怎么办呢>.<语言倒不是最主要的问题。。。

再次感谢Eileen啦~