mresc 的作文帖^_^

mrescUID：2869511

8.10   mresc
topic:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and TV programs made in one’s own country are more interesting than those made in other countries.


Movies and TV programs usually present a historical story or reflect nowadays social problems. The types of the program can be different, like comedy or tragedy, the themes of the programs must be base on the life around us, or written materials in the books.I am more familiar with life and cluture in my country, so when I see Movies and TV programs made in my own country, lots of fun and sympathetic responses occure to me.
There is always bulks of fun in my country's TV programs, especially those historical serials. I have read many a classic book on our country's history, so I can easily fingure out where the historical serails make a funny mistake in some unnoted details. For instance, a comedy which talks about the doctors have the following scene: A old man who is proficient in Traditional Chinese Medicine is trying a boy's pulse. After that, the man says:"His breathe is so hard to trace.He's in danger!I only know that his blood type is B and who has the same blood type?". How ridiculous it is! I konw not so much about Traditional Chinese Medicine but at least I know one cannot tell a patient's blood type only by trying the pluse!
Besides picking some unreal details in the TV program,I also like to watch modern serails and reflect on the social problems in my country. One famous TV serails is called Chinese Divorce. It's a kind of tragedy, in my view, that unstable social structure and too much working pressure leads to the family seperation. Since I'm living in the country where such socail phenomeno exist, I can easily get the same problems and thinks, which arise my intrest to go through this TV programs.The way in which the hero in the program handle the social problems, on the part of me, is more interesting than other country's strange way of life.
I know more about my own country than other countries, other countries' program just fail to have resonance on me. This is why I'd like to see Movies and TV programs made in my own country.

mrescUID：2869511

沙发自己占

mrescUID：2869511

8.12：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life

We live in a society where each person has connection with other person. More or  less, everyone belon个s to several social community and work with different people. No matter what is your definition of success, it must be acknowledged by people around you. If you live a life in your own world, that cannot be called a successful life.
Thus, I believe one who wants to be successful should make sure other people know about his or her strengths and accomplishments. Not only let only let those influential people know, but also let your employees know when you become the superior.
Like me, a common university student, I must present my abilities and merits to my future employers. The reason is quite simple: my chance to be successful is owned by other people. I have no money or social reputation and need help from others to provide places and material foundation to go further in my life. Here comes a problem: Why will employers give you, not other people, the opportunity? Only by showing my specific talent in some fields or diligent working spirit can I persuade employers. The access to the success is given by the influential people, and you have to present something to prove that you deserve it.

However, even though you become an influential person, successful life is also a wishful thinking unless you make sure your employers know about your accomplishments. my brother is working in a high-tech enterprise. He once told me that he disliked the manager because the manager has a little command of the scientific thing and fails to communicate with his inferior efficiently. Actually, many members in the enterprise questioned the capacity of that manager. A few weeks later after my brother told me that thing, the manager was replaced by another people.

When we look back into those successful people in the history, they are accepted by numerous generations because they all have accomplishments and strengths that clearly represent in front of us. In order to lead a successful life, we should also let our fellow generations know about our achievements.

melodramaUID：2470523

先说形式上的问题，不知是不是楼主因为写完了自己没有proofread：
1.        名词单复数，如P1中has connection with other person, several social community,
2.        句子前后的一致，如P1中，If you live a life in your own world, that cannot be called a successful life. If 引导的句子中，you是主语，那么逗号后面的句子，我觉得后面的主语不应该是that
3.        句首单词的大小写， 如倒数第二段中，my brother is working in a high-tech enterprise
4.        用词，最后一段中有个lead a successful life, 是想用live吗？
内容上：
5.        觉得内容不够切题、紧凑，题目说的是如果能力和成就不被有影响力的人和老板知道，就不可能成功。楼主提到了却花了一段（倒数第二段）说因为能力不被下属知道而被降职的例子。

lovesasa0820UID：2660864

3# mresc
We live in a society where each person has connection with other person. More or  less, everyone belon个s to several social community and work with different people. No matter what is your definition of success, it must be acknowledged by people around you. If you live a life in your own world, that cannot be called a successful life.
Thus, I believe one who wants to be successful should make sure other people know about his or her strengths and accomplishments. Not only let only let those influential people know, but also let your employees know when you become the superior. 9 x1 W+ Z: O. k" ~5 o1 p
Like me, a common university student, I must present my abilities and merits to my future employers. The reason is quite simple: my chance to be successful is owned by other people. I have no money or social reputation and need help from others to provide places and material foundation to go further in my life. Here comes a problem: Why will employers give you, not other people, the opportunity? Only by showing my specific talent in some fields or diligent working spirit can I persuade employers. The access to the success is given by the influential people, and you have to present something to prove that you deserve it.8 H  ^1 d" E# a9 P9 U0 D（）

However, even though you become an influential person, successful life is also a wishful thinking unless you make sure your employers know about your accomplishments. my brother is working in a high-tech enterprise. He once told me that he disliked the manager because the manager has a little command of the scientific thing and fails to communicate with his inferior efficiently. Actually, many members in the enterprise questioned the capacity of that manager. A few weeks later after my brother told me that thing, the manager was replaced by another people.（employer是雇主，不是雇员吧，这段有点偏差啊）

jWhen we look back into those successful people in the history, they are accepted by numerous generations because they all have accomplishments and strengths that clearly represent in front of us. In order to lead a successful life, we should also let our fellow generations know about our achievements.


总体遣词造句方面没有什么语法问题，就是我觉得如果能在写一个REASOn就更好点，一般都要3个reason这样在字数方面才有优势，另外第二个原因这里得改一下

liuxiaoyinUID：2631993

评完了哈，见附件

rebaccajillUID：2458236

1# mresc

8.10   mresc8 x( \. N- Q8 R& } topic:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and TV programs made in one’s own country are more interesting than those made in other countries. / y9 K0 S  L8 A; h 2 ]& Y# ~4 l+ ]7 x- A! q . r9 e" J. t, p  {; h: W Movies and TV programs usually present a historical story or reflect nowadays(这里后置比较好，一般都放在句首或句尾) social problems. The types of the program can be different, like comedy or tragedy, the themes of the programs must （may,后面有or 显然不是绝对的）be base on the life around us, or written materials in the books.I am more familiar with （the）life and cluture in my country, so when I see Movies and TV programs made in my own country, lots of fun and sympathetic responses occure to me., H3 g3 `+ Y1 b3 ^6 h% B There is always bulks of fun in my country's TV programs, especially those historical serials（series）. I have read many a classic book（many a ?many classic books） on our country's history, so I can easily fingure （figure）out where the historical serails（series） make a funny mistake in some unnoted details. For instance, a comedy which talks about the doctors have the following scene: A(an) old man who is proficient in Traditional Chinese Medicine is trying a boy's pulse. After that, the man says:"His breathe is so hard to trace.He's in danger!I only know that his blood type is B and who has the same blood type?". How ridiculous it is! I konw not(don't know) so much about Traditional Chinese Medicine but at least(后置，这样说是中式) I know one cannot tell a patient's blood type only by trying the pluse!(举得这个例子应该用过去时态)" A4 X' j  [0 [/ n9 d1 A6 a Besides picking(不合适，having) some unreal details in the TV program,I also like to watch modern serails（series） and (没有并列关系，应该用that)reflect on the social problems in my country. One famous TV serails is called Chinese Divorce. It's a kind of tragedy, in my view, that unstable social structure and too much working pressure leads to the family‘s seperation(break). Since I'm living in the country where such socail(social) phenomeno exist, I can easily get the same problems and thinks(单复数不一致), which arise （arouse,唤起)my intrest to go through（看完这样表达不太好） this TV programs.The way in which the hero in the program handle the social problems, on the part of me（是想说对我来说嘛？这样表达没见过）, is more interesting than other country's strange way of life. , H  h1 K; y( s, G3 i2 j6 A7 j. B" t8 @I know more about my own country than other countries, other countries' program just fail to have resonance on me. This is why I'd like to see Movies and TV programs made in my own country. 建议每次写完后复制到WORD里检查一下拼写错误还是蛮多的~还有句子结构及形式不够丰富~应该变换点句型。有的短语很中式，至于内容嘛~觉得第1个例子还OK，第2个例子看不出来interesting在哪。仅仅是引起共鸣了~~所以构思的时候还是要再多想想啊~~~继续加油！！

mrescUID：2869511

8.21Agree or disagree: advertising is the most important cause of the unhealthy eating habits.

You’d like to think we have fully control over our food choices, and you make decisions on what to eat based on mainly nutritional values and maybe cost and convenience. But the truth is advertising exerts a mighty influence on our eating habits, and most of the ads, we see from TV, newspaper, billboard, change our food preference into an unhealthy one.
First, the basic attribution of advertising is to persuade people to buy their products as many as possible without any concern about people’s health. Even if the ads present that their food is beneficial to people’s health, the food manufactory won’t put it into practice because some food, like fried chicken, is inherent short of nutrition. Furthermore, my friend who mayors in food engine tells me many of the food factory never pay enough attention to the health inspection process. This process needs large sum of money and they prefer to spend these money in advertising.
Second, children are vulnerable to the ads. They can’t tell fact from friction. One little brother Jim believe in that fired chips can make him energetic throughout a whole day, so if possible, he’d like to choose chips as his main food everyday. What’s worse, even adults who asserts that they can counter the effects of advertising on their eating habits with awareness still proved to be influenced unconsciously. Psychologists tell us that if the ads repeat to a certain degree, the image of the food in the ads will leave an intrinsic memory in our brain. As a result, if a couple feel tired after shopping and have no idea what to eat, they’ll possibly choose KFC to have a Family Barrel.
Third, advertising is good at using other virtues of the food to camouflage the unhealthy part. For example, they claim their food need no wait and the discount on the food is profitable to the consumers. People in modern society usually lack time and money (the money to buy lots of other expensive goods), so they will take minor consideration on whether the food is healthy.
In a nut shell, advertising is affecting our food choices and eating habits everywhere. Only we can do to minimize this influence is to say “good bye” those ads.

mrescUID：2869511

4# melodrama
谢谢

mrescUID：2869511

7# rebaccajill
谢谢！

shouyeeUID：2774695

8.21Agree or disagree: advertising is the most important cause of the unhealthy eating habits.

You’d like to think we have fully control over our food choices, and you make decisions on what to eat based on mainly nutritional values and maybe （感觉好像and用多了，改成as well as会不会不重复一点呢？）cost and convenience. But the truth is advertising exerts a mighty influence on our eating habits, and most of the ads, which we see from（两个动词了哦，能用从句吗？）TV, newspaper, billboard, change our food preference into an unhealthy one.First, the basic attribution of advertising is to persuade people to buy their products as many as possible without any concern about people( 感觉一句出现了多个people，这里能换个词吗？比如customers’) health. Even if the ads present that their food is beneficial to people’s health, the food manufactory won’t put it into practice because some food, like fried chicken, is inherent short of nutrition. Furthermore, my friend who mayors（majored） in food engine(engineering) tells me many of the food factory(factories) never pay enough attention to the health inspection process. This process needs large sum of money and they prefer to spend these money in advertising
Second, children are vulnerable to the ads. They can’t tell fact from friction（fiction）. One little brother Jim believe(believes) in that fired chips can make him energetic throughout a whole day, so if possible, he’d like to choose chips as his main food everyday. What’s worse, even adults who asserts( assert) that they can counter the effects of advertising on their eating habits with awareness still （are）proved to be influenced unconsciously(这里用了从句之后，整个句子缺少动词了). Psychologists tell us that if the ads (are repeated)repeat to a certain degree, the image of the food in the ads will leave an intrinsic memory in our brain. As a result, if a couple feel tired after shopping and have no idea (about) what to eat, they’ll possibly choose KFC to have a Family Barrel.
Third, advertising is good at using other virtues of the food to camouflage the unhealthy part. For example, they claim their food need no wait(waiting) and the discount on the food is profitable to the consumers. People in modern society usually lack time and money (the money to buy lots of other expensive goods), so they will take minor consideration on whether the food is healthy.
In a nut shell, advertising is affecting our food choices and eating habits everywhere. (The only thing )Only we can do to minimize this influence is to say “good bye” ( to) those ads.

mrescUID：2869511

8.24：

Deciding upon a career can be sure headache, especially for a career in a long term. For me, a cautious guy, making a proper choice will definitely take lot of tries because my career can influence so many facets of my life. A good career, to a certain extent, means an abundant life both materially and mentally.
On one situation, if my first job fit my interest and I was charged with an important mission, without hesitation, I will take it as a long-term mission. However, the question is that as a graduation I can hardly tell what job arises my everlasting interest and which company will give me an important task before I possess enough social and academic experience or make great contribution already.
Therefore, my first reason why I want to try several different jobs is to find my real interest. My major is physics but individual character indicates that I'm not suitable to do research work. But that never means I won't take research work as a career in a long term eventually. What I want to say is that sometimes I only think which job will fit me and which not according to subjective assumption of my own preferences. Under no circumstances will this method works because unless you take one job, you never know what character it needs, especially in such a complicated society nowadays. In my parents' time, people start having chances to alter their jobs, and many of the outstanding people start their careers at late 30th.
My second reason is to accumulate experiences. Different jobs enable me to know different ways of life and types of people, which prove my way to the final success. For instance, I want to be a stockbroker, and beforehand my job can be a math teacher, a computer software worker, and an employee in human resource department. All these experiences enhance my integrated ability that is indispensable to break through the limitation of traditional thoughts. In addition, I can cultivate lots of people who perhaps help me in my future career.
After ruminating over the factors above, I suggest that young people, who have ambitions to make a remarkable life, should try different jobs when still young, and decide the life-long career when mature.

白菜学英语UID：2731720

8月24号修改好了~