wttyuse托福作文帖

wttyuseUID: 2755832

9月14日交- d0 g4 q% _! n
2009.9 25NA do you agree or disagree: having jobs with low paying salary and being high secure is better than jobs with high salary but being easy to lost."

In this day and age, the topic of job hunting has been brought into sharp focus. One of the most bitterly-contested disputes has been about whether low-paid job but secure is better than that is high-paid while easy to lost. it’s truly hard to decide because the former one could have less stress and more free, while the later one could lead a high quality life.so we’d better to alternate the emphasis according to time and circumstances.

If one is still young and unmarried, it’s better to take a risk and occupy a challenging work. Though it’s easy to lost, it can motivate someone to be hard-working if the salary is high. he will boost his energy and wisdom to perfect the performance to make the unstable to be more secure. Furthermore, secure job just means an colorless existence, for which situation one just keeps alive with the dream of achieving some magic change in his life. as a result , it will kill one’s talent and creativity. So a venture is the test of a strong man.

Contrary decision should be taken if one is in senior. On account of the responsibility for supporting the family, he or she can’t put the main economic resource at risk. A stable job can ensure a normal life and one could spare more time in family especially cultivating children. A survey conducted shows that a family with steady income can provide kids a better parenting. In addition, a low-paying job is not changeless. There leaves much space to improve the condition just keep the faith in mind and have the endeavor to the best of one's ability.

Having said the above arguments, i have a better suggestion—take a stable work and try your best to challenge a high-paying job—that not only can you have an insurance, but can gain more money. Though the state of the current job market makes most people have psychological strain, we can’t stop pursuing the better life. we all have stress, while it’s part of life.

naturekdUID: 2702801

A survey conducted shows that a family with steady income can provide kids （with）a better parenting.
又一组了，写的很好，很有道理。呵呵，楼主的作文是供我学习的～，希望能考到好成绩。
ps：有空请帮我修改作文。

日落沙发UID: 2764889

16# wttyuse

9月14日交
Do you agree or disagree: having jobs with low paying salary and being high secure is better than jobs with high salary but being easy to lost."

In this day and age, the topic of job hunting has been brought into sharp focus. One of the most bitterly-contested disputes has been about whether low-paid job but secure is better than that is high-paid while easy to lost. It’s truly hard to decide because the former one could have less stress and more free（加 time 或者改成freer）, while the later one could lead a high quality life. So we’d better to alternate the emphasis according to time and circumstances.2 G& v! o2 q& M

If one is still young and unmarried, it’s better to take a risk and occupy a challenging work. Though it’s easy to lost, it can motivate someone to be hard-working if the salary is high. He will boost his energy and wisdom to perfect the performance to make the unstable to be more secure. Furthermore, secure job just means an
(改成a) colorless existence, for which situation one just keeps alive with the dream of achieving some magic change in his life. As a result, it will kill one’s talent and creativity. So a venture is the test of a strong man.4 T8 b' \% A; }  I; s$ a
; c5 E' k5 M* q
Contrary decision should be taken if one is in senior. On account of the responsibility for supporting the family, he or she can’t put the main economic resource at risk. A stable job can ensure a normal life and one could spare more time in family especially cultivating children. A survey conducted shows that a family with steady income can provide kids a better parenting. In addition, a low-paying job is not changeless. There leaves much space to improve the condition just keep the faith in mind and have the endeavor to the best of one's ability.
M3 l% s! R2 Y1 z6 T; B" j3 z
Having said the above arguments, I have a better suggestion—take a stable work and try your best to challenge a high-paying job—that not only can you have an insurance, but can gain more money. Though the state of the current job market makes most people have psychological strain, we can’t stop pursuing the better life. We all have stress, while it’s part of life.

楼主作文写得很好！学习了！O(∩_∩)O~

凼凼55667UID: 2904147

18# 日落沙发

In this day and age, the topic of job hunting has been brought intosharp focus. One of the most bitterly-contested disputes has been about whetherlow-paid job but secure (改成low-paid but securejob) is better than that is high-paid while easy to lost(应在that前添加job). It’s
trulyhard to decide becausethe former one could have less stress and more free, while the later one couldlead a high quality life(改成life of highquality). So we’d better to(去掉to) alternatethe emphasis according to time and circumstances.

If one isstill young and unmarried, it’s better totake a risk and occupy a challenging work. Though it’seasy to lost, it can motivate someone to behard-working if the salary is high（这两句话可以写得更富有变化一点）. he will boost his energy and wisdom to perfect the performance tomake the unstable to be more secure. Furthermore（用转折更好一点）, secure job just means a colorless existence, for which situationone just keeps alive with the dream of achieving some magic change in his life.as a result（of taking secure job要先有行动才有结果） , it will kill one’s talent and creativity. So a venture is thetest of a strong man.

Contrary decision should be taken if one is in senior. Onaccount of the responsibility for supporting the family, he or she can’tput the main economic resource at risk. A stable jobcan ensure a normal life and one could spare more time in family especiallycultivating children. A survey conducted shows that a family with steady incomecan provide kids a better parenting. In addition,a low-paying job is not changeless. There leaves much space to improve thecondition just keep the faith（缺主语） in mindand have the endeavor to the best of one's ability.

Having said the above arguments, i have a bettersuggestion—take a stable work and try your best to challenge a high-paying job—thatnot only can you have an insurance, but can gain more money. Though the stateof the current job market makes most people have psychological strain, we can’tstop pursuing the better life. we all have stress, while it’s part of life.，

文章用词有一定功力，层次清晰
不足之处：

1,造句还可以再严谨一些，
2,论据对论点的支持度不够。

我也写了这篇，楼主有空帮我改改吧~

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1155361&page=1&extra=#pid1774359868

qy10166341UID: 2653519

9月11日交' |, h4 k$ w5 C
由于今日作业话题在四楼已经写过，故写了另一个话题，恳请狠狠拍，还有如果有时间的话麻烦也帮忙改改4楼的作文咯，我万分谢谢哩~~
2009.3.14
　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:/ O1 @! @+ H; f: a
　　It is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than to save money for the future.; @& J* \, r- k$ l9 s
　　(Money)+ H) m; C, [, y; L
% B1 U  @7 R2 r
Some reports conducted by journalists reveal that the more money people have gained, the more likely we(they) are going on traveling and vacation. So this topic draws increasing attention with the development of economic. significant is the issue that it draws. Some people doubt that spending money on a short-term entertainment, which will soon fades away, which is not a rational choice. , is a lack of reason . contrary to the above view, I agree with the idea that spending money on vacation is better than saving for future., I* N; `8 C2 g; T- O, W0 F- {
         Firstly, traveling is not reluctant to increase our knowledge. The old saying:” knowledge is wealth.” shows that such expending doesn’t mean wasting. When we get away from the daily grind, not only do we release stress, but also expand our vision. It is not equal to the feeling of just saving much money. What’s more ,it’s by absorbing the nutrients of different cultures that can we be outstanding.
这段感觉太中国话了& E. c9 W) X# S, ~' Yd感觉太中国
        In addition, as well as being more learned, one who like traveling can be more sociable. Apparently, everyone takes the limits of his own field of vision. Thus the communication, especially in a journey can be multiplex and amazing. Just as Circero says: ” friendship makes prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it.” For that reason, why don’t we choose to equip ourselves with various ideas in a meaningful trip that make the money increase the value? 6 M7 j9 O% J8 K+ k- \; {8 d
        To make up, people who are willing to save money give the reason that they can have insurance in future. They may have a point there, but financially, it can’t use the money to the full because of the Depreciation as time goes by.感觉语法不对。。。但是我也很好奇怎么修改        Overall, vacation consumption is a profit-making rather than a waste of money. We should allow ourselves to “make an investment”. For further development, saving minority of the money for emergencies and spending majority on the traveling or some other activities that make sense is needed as suggested.
总的来说，楼主词汇特别丰富，想法也很精彩，但是语法结构貌似有问题，我读着很费力；水平有限，只能说下大概体会；不好意思修改这么晚

qy10166341UID: 2653519

9月11日交' |, h4 k$ w5 C
由于今日作业话题在四楼已经写过，故写了另一个话题，恳请狠狠拍，还有如果有时间的话麻烦也帮忙改改4楼的作文咯，我万分谢谢哩~~
　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:/ O1 @! @+ H; f: a
　　It is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than to save money for the future.; @& J* \, r- k$ l9 s
　　(Money)+ H) m; C, [, y; L
% B1 U  @7 R2 r
Some reports conducted by journalists reveal that the more money people have gained, the more likely we(they) are going on traveling and vacation. So this topic draws increasing attention with the development of economic. significant is the issue that it draws. Some people doubt that spending money on a short-term entertainment, which will soon fades away, which is not a rational choice. , is a lack of reason . contrary to the above view, I agree with the idea that spending money on vacation is better than saving for future., I* N; `8 C2 g; T- O, W0 F- {
         Firstly, traveling is not reluctant to increase our knowledge. The old saying:” knowledge is wealth.” shows that such expending doesn’t mean wasting. When we get away from the daily grind, not only do we release stress, but also expand our vision. It is not equal to the feeling of just saving much money. What’s more ,it’s by absorbing the nutrients of different cultures that can we be outstanding.
这段感觉太中国话了& E. c9 W) X# S, ~' Yd感觉太中国
        In addition, as well as being more learned, one who like traveling can be more sociable. Apparently, everyone takes the limits of his own field of vision. Thus the communication, especially in a journey can be multiplex and amazing. Just as Circero says: ” friendship makes prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it.” For that reason, why don’t we choose to equip ourselves with various ideas in a meaningful trip that make the money increase the value? 6 M7 j9 O% J8 K+ k- \; {8 d
        To make up, people who are willing to save money give the reason that they can have insurance in future. They may have a point there, but financially, it can’t use the money to the full because of the Depreciation as time goes by.感觉语法不对。。。但是我也很好奇怎么修改
)       Overall, vacation consumption is a profit-making rather than a waste of money. We should allow ourselves to “make an investment”. For further development, saving minority of the money for emergencies and spending majority on the traveling or some other activities that make sense is needed as suggested.
总的来说，楼主词汇特别丰富，想法也很精彩，但是语法结构貌似有问题，我读着很费力；水平有限，只能说下大概体会；不好意思修改这么晚

wttyuseUID: 2755832

9月18日交

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Sports teach people lessons about life

As we all believe that sports promote the metabolism and balance the body system, which encourage most people to participate the sports to live a more healthier life. while did sports can teach lessons about life as well as reading books? The answer for me is definitely yes. I can present countless benefits from a sport-lesson, while now I’ll pick up three points to state.

Perseverance is the first lesson that we can learn from sports. The one who goes through pretty rigorous training which enable him to be painful and exhausted ,ending up  with success , will know that for the dream sake, so important is the meaning of being persevering even there seems no way. Therefore, it’s no wonder for him to have courage and faith to keep insisting conquering any challenge in life.

Secondly, sports can cultivate our values. That is to say, we can realize the thing we should cherish most on the life way—the process not the consequence, respect and regard rather than disdain and humiliate. We will feel release when we are in the process of running. We will feel breaking free swimming like a fish in the sea . We will have the sense of fulfillment for once endured with tears and sweats. And still, we can gain a mind of respect to our mates or competitors or even leave respectable. All the things we treasure in sports are also should be treasured in life.

What’s more, mutual trust between teammate is another we can learn. Complete trust and concern for one or more people truly takes a large effort. While sports can make it possible. Teams need to be collectively committed to performance. Soccer, basketball, boating, and so far so forth .Obstacles such as conflicts among teammates or unequal commitment to team might affect the team's overall performance.

Overall, as long as you ever take part into a sport and enjoy it, you will feel the benefit is not only from the physical promotion, but the spiritual—friendship, cooperation, endeavor, faith, relief that teach you a lot.

end up with 后面 是不是只能跟贬义的词？

ffx372580856UID: 2556222

我8.14在深圳考的，也是这道题
写了464个word
结果21分杯具了
我想应该是我吹水吹太多了吧:dizzy:

norraUID: 2782571

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Sports teach people lessons about life/ n; N' W2 K3 x
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   As we all believe that sports promote the metabolism and balance the body system, which encourage most （of the ）people to participate the sports to live a more healthier life. （开头不错，无论词汇还是句型都很好）while did sports can teach lessons about life as well as reading books? The answer for me is definitely yes. I can present countless benefits from a sport-lesson, while now I’ll pick up three points to state.% L; s4 s. g4 Y（; k（像这种就很新。）

   Perseverance is the first lesson that we can learn from sports. The one who goes through pretty rigorous training which enable him to be painful and exhausted ,ending up  with success（ending with） , will know that for the dream sake, so important is the meaning of being persevering even there seems no way. Therefore, it’s no wonder for him to have courage and faith to keep insisting conquering any challenge in life. ) K0 d- S# F6 _: v

Secondly, sports can cultivate our values. (或者：Some values can be cultivated by taking part in sports)That is to say, we can realize the thing we should cherish most on the life way—the process not the consequence, respect and regard rather than disdain and humiliate. We will feel release when we are in the process of running. We will feel breaking free swimming like a fish in the sea . We will have the sense of fulfillment for once endured with tears and sweats. And still, we can gain a mind of respect to our mates or competitors or even leave respectable. All the things we treasure in sports are also should be treasured（这个词用得好。）in life.

What’s more, mutual trust between teammate is another we can learn. Complete trust and concern for one or more people truly takes a large effort. While sports can make it possible. Teams need to be collectively committed to performance. Soccer, basketball, boating, and so far so forth .Obstacles such as conflicts among teammates or unequal commitment to team might affect the team's overall performance.
# k# x. j; \; X' T- ?. ~7 o
Overall, as long as you ever take part into a sport and enjoy it, you will feel the benefit is not only from the physical promotion, but the spiritual—friendship, cooperation, endeavor, faith, relief that teach you a lot. 1 k, C; z" W# O& s
    感觉写的很好了，以我现在的水平还挑不出什么问题来，只是多学习罢了。

凼凼55667UID: 2904147

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Sports teach people lessons about life

As we all believe that sports promote the metabolism and balance the body system, which encourage most people to participate the sports to live a more healthier life. While did sports can（改‘Can/Do sports…?’） teach lessons about life as well as reading books? The answer for me is definitely yes. I can present countless benefits from a sport-lesson, while now I’ll pick up three points to state.(学习了)

Perseverance is the first lesson that we can learn from sports(过渡的很自然，学习了) The one who goes through pretty rigorous training which enable him to be painful and exhausted ,ending up  with success , will know that for the dream sake,（sake这么用有点冒险，不如用for the sake of his dream） ,so important is the meaning of being persevering even there seems no way(这个复合句很赞). Therefore, it’s no wonder for him to have courage and faith to keep insisting conquering any challenge in life. (‘坚持’与‘勇气’‘信心’没有必然关联，此处论述得不够清晰)

Secondly, sports can cultivate our values. That is to say（这个短语偏口语,不适合在作文中出现）, we can realize the thing we should cherish most on the life way—the process not the consequence, respect and regard rather than disdain and humiliate. We will feel release when we are in the process of running. We will feel breaking free swimming like a fish in the sea . We will have the sense of fulfillment for once endured with tears and sweats. And still, we can gain a mind of respect to our mates or competitors or even leave respectable. All the things we treasure in sports are also should be treasured in life.

What’s more, mutual trust between teammate is another we can learn. Complete trust and concern for one or more people truly takes a large effort. While sports can make it possible. Teams need to be collectively committed to performance. Soccer, basketball, boating, and so far so forth（这句结构不完整。另外没有查到so far so forth这个短语的用法。） .Obstacles such as conflicts among teammates or unequal commitment to team might affect the team's overall performance.（这段与life联系不够紧密）

Overall, as long as you ever take part into a sport and enjoy it, you will feel the benefit is not only from the physical promotion, but the spiritual—friendship, cooperation, endeavor, faith, relief that teach you a lot.

end up with 后面 是不是只能跟贬义的词？
end up 在辞典里是中性短语，后面可以跟褒义的词

优点：用词很好，个人觉得基本达到toefl 作文4分的标准了。
不足： 1，文章语言可以更好一些。建议尝试一些修辞手法。
          2，缺乏反面论述，例证/细节还不够清晰有力。
          3，倒数两段有点离题，与life的联系不够紧密。
欢迎回批~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1155361-1-1.html
8楼

sophia623dupontUID: 2877072

9月18日作文修改，抱歉来晚了

' W. E# d- L3 I# aDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Sports teach people lessons about life6 m$ e, w- h& F3 O  H) m

1 ]! u5 U0 G5 j: G6 Q+ Y) X/ }As we all believe that sports promote the metabolism and balance the body system, which encourage most people to participate the sports to live a more healthier life. while did sports can teach lessons about life as well as reading books? The answer for me is definitely yes. I can present countless benefits from a sport-lesson, while now I’ll pick up three points to state.( C/ |2 w$ C4 o6 J( W6 ]语言不错，学习学习，可以把下面要说的东西在这里一句一个点，预告一下。

2 M% W3 G# X; b$ i6 w) W0 _[color=Magenta]Perseverance is the first lesson that we can learn from sports. The one （可以随便套一个名人的名字进去，还能算引经据典呢）who goes through pretty rigorous training which enable him to be painful and exhausted ,ending up  with success , will know that for the dream sake, so important is the meaning of being persevering even there seems no way. Therefore, it’s no wonder for him to have courage and faith to keep insisting conquering any challenge in life.
- d& s7 m& m- z7 r' H3 R( z, d
+ M! ]' o' I; J2 Y: R1 e. A+ ~Secondly, sports can（ cultivate our values表达很地道） That is to say, we can realize the thing we should cherish most on the life way—the process not the consequence, respect and regard rather than disdain and humiliate. We will feel release when we are in the process of running. We will feel breaking free swimming like a fish in the sea . （建议那一个出来细说，你是怎样放松的，感觉到底如何）We will have the sense of fulfillment for once endured with tears and sweats. And still, we can gain a mind of respect to our mates or competitors or even leave respectable. All the things we treasure in sports are also should be treasured in life.
9 X( O0 A; M5 R8 ~, x' \; w( t5 T& o- L  Z8 m/ `& U
What’s more, mutual trust between teammate is another we can learn. Complete trust and concern for one or more people truly takes a large effort. While sports can make it possible. Teams need to be collectively committed to performance. Soccer, basketball, boating, and so far so forth .Obstacles such as conflicts among teammates or unequal commitment to team might affect the team's overall performance. 1 m9 w# U% L! a2 P5 v' N

/ @0 n# |- l6 \3 O' o2 KOverall, as long as you ever take part into a sport and enjoy it, you will feel the benefit is not only from the physical promotion, but the spiritual—friendship, cooperation, endeavor, faith, relief that teach you a lot.
结构不错，语言比我好多了，论理很充分，再加一下具体到时间地点人物的例子就更有血有肉了

wttyuseUID: 2755832

9月25日交
09.01.17 NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.


Nowadays, When the impact of advertising on daily life has been massive indeed, It’s widely accepted that Ads is a contributing factor to unhealthy eating habits. As a netizen says :” advertising is like a needle that injects us with ideas that cause certain behaviors.” It really make sense. While when it comes to the point of which is the key cause of bad eating habits, I deny the ads. The wrong concept of health care or other reasons like the stress of work, the temptation of drunk food can be more essential to the problems.

To begin with, ads is just one mean of promotion. The food company could use variety of attraction to affect consumers’ buying habits.  McDonald is a case in point. We usually see the restaurant provides a playground for the children, sets a lovely clown outside the door , and fling in cups or toys to consumers for buying their set meal. Though there is no ads, people will eat there frequently developing a fast-food eating habit.

As another point of view, people are active consumers, who can make choices about what they eat. For that case, the media especially advertising is not to blame but the people’s unawareness of balanced diet. Men are addicted in drinking that whatever reason can make them substitute drink for meal. Women are pursue the slender body that keep diet no matter how hungry. Teenagers feed the stomach with junk food and leave no room for health dishes. Thanks to the  misunderstanding of healthy , the obesity, the corona heart disease or the kidney cancer has increased in a breakneck speed these days.

To sum up, advertising partly influences peoples' food choice. While people themselves’ awareness, if we get to the root of this matter, is the most crucial one that cause the unhealthy habits.

haoannaUID: 2582245

925

norraUID: 2782571

9.25改
28# haoanna

wttyuseUID: 2755832

10月2日
It’s no exaggeration to say that in currentsituation, nearly everyone is burdened with mounting pressure at work, study,family, etc. how to get rid of our biggest enemy is a sharp focus. Some may sayspending time alone is the best choice, just rethinking ourselves and Drain theveins in our head. However, opposed with the above idea, I suggest that stayingwith others be better than any method else.

Firstly,a warm atmosphere can be cultivated by a group. They are maybe some friends whocan develop a sense of belonging for you so that you will find you are notalone to resist the difficulties. They are maybe your teammates who can pushyou into an exciting basketball game that you can feel relax and energetic. Theyare even your family who accompany you to listen to a concert that makes yousuddenly be comforted by the non-language consoling. It’s so real when i am ina happy group that my bad motion changes, even they don’t strive to reduce mystress.

Inaddition, communication is also the key point to lower the stress level. The periodhaving only one person talking to you or just listening to you is a wonderfultime. You can pour out your grievances and allow your trust one to help you rearrangethe cause of stress. an old Chinese saying says: “the onlooker is clear-headed”.From the other’s view, you may be surprised to find that the thing you worriedabout is not such a big deal.

Furthermore,there’re other reasons why I don’t think being alone is the best solution forlessen the stress. when you are stuck in to a problem , which it can happenedin almost everybody , you will step deeper and can’t get out if you always useyour own thinking way. You may get trapped by yourself, just like one cause ofthe mental health.

Tosum up, the way to relief varies. Spending time alone is sometimes works, whileto most people, the better choice is to stay with others, sinking in theoptimistic atmosphere or talking with close ones , from which you can get notonly the relaxing but also the solution to solve.