Littleecho33哒 作文区

高小鱼UID: 2714619

see attached for your consideration:)

littleecho33UID: 2876349

914

jiroushirenUID: 2890685

9月14日交
2009.9 25NA do you agree or disagree: having jobs with low paying salary and being high secure is better than jobs with high salary but being easy to lost.
It is very difficult to choose. So boring, but after some time considering（直接说出你的观点）, I will choose the second-jobs with high salary but being easy to lost. In my opinion, this kind of jobs in very modernistic realm, for example, IT, Finance, Computer, Bank and so on（列举的几个行业领域存在从属关系，例如，IT 和COMPUTER ，要分清老外是怎么给行业划分的）.
The first factor I choosing these kinds of jobs, that the jobs is very（very的使用太口语化） profitable. Compared with the jobs with low paying salary the second kind of job（应该加上salary） is so high. However, this kind of the jobs is easy to lost, but the salary of each month is high. So the sum of salary is approximately equality. In some man’s（others’） opinion, this kind of jobs(指代歧义) is insecurity, but if we thought in other way, we can find the sum of money is almost same.
The second reason I choose these kinds of jobs, doing these jobs can practices（原型） my own ability. For the salary of the job is high, so should（FOR 和 SO 都是表示结果的，不能一起用，而且这句话没有主语） match the high ability to finish it（指代不明）. In China has sentences: “high salary, tiptop ability.” Or “ under the high salary, come forth the valour”（不要使用一些中国人认为众所周知的谚语，评价你的作文是老外，在没有文化背景下，很容易对你所使用的例子不理解）. So the salary is high, the job is difficult, if I can finish it, that can demonstrate I have the high ability to slove the difficult problem. Doing these kinds of jobs can practice my own ability and let me experience under the difficult surrounding, to slove the problem.
The last but not the least, first kinds of jobs are so boring. These jobs with low paying but being high secure. If man in this kind of working surrounding, will let him or her to（BE） like an old man. Because these jobs is so boring and less interesting compared with the second kinds of jobs.
Above all, I agree to choose the jobs with high salary but being easy to lost. Because I think these kinds of jobs are profitable, practiced of my own ability, and the most important is very interesting（与前面不并列，且表达错误）
总评；  优点 思路比较清晰，如果用中文写，会写的更好
        不足 有明显的语法错误，代词重复使用，论据不足，很多的表达过于口语化，过于中国化。
        建议，多看看优秀文章，建议使用模板。

jiroushirenUID: 2890685

2009.9 25NA do you agree or disagree: having jobs with low paying salary and being high secure is better than jobs with high salary but being easy to lost.
Suffient to sustain life
Do harm to psychology heart stress
Crime well-being

Have you ever undergone that one of your shares you bought in a high price, which is bode well in future, is now in a nosedive downturn? How will you feel? Burst into tears? Will your life be changed from now on because of the cursed share? Things like this occur on quite a large quantity of people who are living on taking risks and speculation. Recently, an growing number of people like to take adventure to work on more challenging jobs dying for a huge and quickly recycled earning. Personally, I am not supportive of this perspective.
First and foremost, in my opinion, high salary is not conducive to every family. If the salary can keep the balance well and you have live a satisfied life with your family members at this level, the pursuit of higher salary makes little sense. Furthermore, the higher the riskier, it is proved by the fact that many middle class families don’t want to invest more money into highly riskier programs, like funds or shares, although they are lucrative.
Secondly, taking jobs which is of high salary but apt to lose does harm to people’ fitness, physically and psychologically. I bet few people, except for those innate financial managers and investors on Wall Street, have the ability to endure the stress from the rapid rise and decrease of the shares. I have even heard that one Chinese retired old man almost died of a heart attack caused by substantially declination of his shares. The news enlightened us not to take in work with high venture.
Lastly, the security of the entire societies will be largely jeopardized for fear that the crime rate and unemployment rate will with not doubt increase dramatically, if the people lose their work. Just imagine what it would like if one lose a huge sum of money on gambling in casino. The one is much likely to go astray as a criminal, or to suicide. Noticeably, the heavier workload will be assigned to security department to sustain the harmoniously operated society.
Therefore, from what I have mentioned above, it is harmful for people to take a job with high salary but being easy to lose both on the well-being of single family and the stability of society.   
总评  条例清楚，用词多样，符合ETS要求，好文章！ 真的没看出哪里有不足，感觉楼主功底很深厚，呵呵，向你学习，希望继续进步

jiroushirenUID: 2890685

不好意思，第一篇文章发错地方了。呵呵  谢谢你的评价

dailiangzhenUID: 2679058

好文章！感觉楼主功底很深厚，呵呵，向你学习.

littleecho33UID: 2876349

9.16Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and televisions should always show audience good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished.
Education
Arouse virtue moral
Social ill children

Movies and televisions always have a magic power to capture audience at the age of any level. A kid can spending all the time gazing at TV where a cartoon is presenting without doing anything, even eating. Nowadays, a heated discuss is brought about focus that whether movies and televisions should show good rewarded and ills punished. As for me, I definitely give my vote to it.
First of all, although movies and television programs are a kind of visual entertainment, there is no doubt that they are a way of education. As the plot depicted above, a television has such an intense temptation to a children. Thus, what it would be like if the context present something bad. Children are not mature enough to distinguish from the right and wrong, and the social ills can lead them apt to go astray. So, movies and televisions should broadcast something good the public rewarded and bad they blamed.
Secondly, good films and televisions are a way to arouse people’s sensational virtues and to foster the formation of moral characters. I still have a fresh memory about a cartoon movie I have ever watched three times called Ice Age I. The director put his awareness of environmental protection into a gang of cute animals. Besides, the collective efforts from these animals to defend the deterioration of environment and global warming have deeply influenced and affected me. Indisputably, I was engraved to protect the earth we live by the movie.
Third, I say with no doubt that movies and televisions have the ability to cultivate and increase the appreciation of aesthetic beauty. From the presence of some newsreels about ancient and modern culture, like the caves painting in old France for example, which are lucent masterpieces represented the intelligence of our ancestors. Our sense of belongings and appreciation of beauty can be motivated and inspired dramatically.
Therefore, in conclusion, the movies and televisions should show the goods we are rewarded and the bads discarded, which is beneficial to our mind and formation of morality.

WSYLRUID: 2666837

改好了 改好了 :)
多多交流哈

ttuuttuuUID: 2299729

0916 改by ttuuttuu  Sorry  早就改好了停電忘了上傳~

Movies and televisions always have a magic power to capture audience at the age of any level. A kid can spending all the time gazing at TV where a cartoon is presenting without doing anything, even eating. Nowadays, a heated discuss is brought about focus that whether movies and televisions should show good rewarded and ills punished. As for me, I definitely give my vote to it.

First of all, although movies and television programs are a kind of visual entertainment, there is no doubt that they are a way of education. As the plot depicted above, a television has such an intense temptation to a children. Thus, what it would be like if the context present something bad. Children are not mature enough to distinguish from the right and wrong, and the social ills can lead them apt to go astray. So, movies and televisions should broadcast something good the public rewarded and bad they blamed.

, good films and televisions are a way to arouse people’s sensational virtues and to foster the formation of moral characters. I still have a fresh memory about a cartoon movie I have ever watched three times called Ice Age I. The director put his awareness of environmental protection into a gang of cute animals. Besides, the collective efforts from these animals to defend the deterioration of environment and global warming have deeply influenced and affected me. Indisputably, I was engraved to protect the earth we live by the movie.
這個點子好~大家都有看過也能吸引審分的人

Third, I say with no doubt that movies and televisions have the ability to cultivate and increase the appreciation of aesthetic beauty. From the presence of some newsreels about ancient and modern culture, like the caves painting in old France for example, which are lucent masterpieces represented the intelligence of our ancestors. Our sense of belongings and appreciation of beauty can be motivated and inspired dramatically.
點子沒有那麼深入
如果時間允許可以多details7 @5 c# M,
b. O& u( U% ~8 X( X4 [
Therefore, in conclusion, the movies and televisions should show the goods we are rewarded and the bads discarded, which is beneficial to our mind and formation of morality.

整體感覺  寫作很不錯  用的字也很好 文法也沒什麼錯
4.0/5   

littleecho33UID: 2876349

Having grown up in a small town, I have personally experienced that many people settled here still live a penny-pinching life with a relatively low living tradition, that is, a copious of young girls help the farming in sacrifice of access to early compulsory education. See? In order to improve the quality of education in a country, it is definitely not enough to simply increase the salary.
First and foremost, as far as the fundamental demand level is concerned, salary is not the only factors of motivation, such as promotion, security and so forth. Local teachers maybe have a greater demand of security of environment, welfare of living settlement and education of their kids. If there demands can be easily met, I believe they will devote more energy to education.
Secondly, the quality of education in country side is not determined by salary of teacher staff. To strengthen to ties with external relationship is of much significance, for instance, local teachers should be taken to city schools, or city training institutes to learn the latest instruction system. On the other hand, students can be transferred be city school to learn in a short-period of time. These measures to promote the external relationship are the cornerstone of education improvement in poor areas.
Lastly, awareness should be aroused that education should be constrained in just in school themselves. The education department of local, even national government plays a pivotal role in leading the revolution and improvement of education. Joint efforts should be made, like grants in fundamental infrastructure, aid of textbooks and so on, by both schools and education authorities.
From what I have mentioned above, we can see that the improvement of education quality is beneficial from satisfaction of teachers’ demand and greater aid from external authorities.

fermaighUID: 2236755

Having grown up in a small town, I have personally experienced that many people settled here still live a penny-pinching life with a relatively low living tradition, that is, a copious of young girls help（for helping) the farming in (去掉in) sacrifice of（to) access to early compulsory education. See? In order to improve the quality of education in a country, it is definitely not enough to simply increase the salary. (clearly state your opinion here, what should we do )
First and foremost, as far as the fundamental demand（required, demanding是要求苛刻的意思） level is concerned, salary is not the only （one factor) factors of motivation, (there are others) such as promotion, security and so forth. Local teachers maybe have a greater demand(requirement) of security of environment, welfare of living settlement and education of their kids. If there(their) demands(expectations) can be easily met, I believe they will devote(d) more energy to education.（讲高薪不是唯一原因，还有其他个人需求）

Secondly, the quality of education in country side is not determined by salary of teacher staff(这话不太妥，这里说教师队伍不是决定因素，那么什么是决定的，或者下文要把其他因素列出，但下文讲教师间或学生间要多交流，逻辑不清楚）. To strengthen to ties with external relationship is of much significance, for instance, local teachers should be taken to city schools, or city training institutes to learn the latest instruction system. On the other hand, students can be transferred be（to) city school(s) to learn in a short-period of time. These measures (measurements) to(去掉to) promote the external relationship are the cornerstone of education improvement in poor areas.

Lastly, awareness（?) should be aroused that(due to因果关系) education should be constrained in（by) just in (in去掉） school themselves. The education department of local, even national government plays a pivotal role in leading the revolution and improvement of（improving) education. Joint efforts should be made, like grants in fundamental infrastructure, aid of textbooks and so on, by both schools and education authorities.1 u8 P. ~9 u' x/ j2 k

From what I have mentioned above, we can see that the improvement of education quality is beneficial from satisfaction of teachers’ demand and greater aid（S) from external authorities.

lz 请再审一下题目，是提高一个国家的教育水平(country)，不是农村教育水平(countryside)。

littleecho33UID: 2876349

Have you ever experienced the sense of achievement when you stand on the peak of Great Wall? Have you ever personally enjoyed the prosperity in Wall Street? Have you ever canoed on Great Canyon with some friends? I believe a copious of people have travelled from home to aboard, even not just once. Thus, I believe it is of great benefit for people to travel all around the world.

First and foremost, the most common reason is that people’s horizon and vista can be with no doubt expanded and enriched when they indulge themselves in the virtual sites. See, if you have never been to Las Vegas, I bet you would never felt how such developed city was built on a sea of
desert and the great endeavor of American ancestors and the splendid imaginations originated from them. Therefore, if enough conditions can be satisfied, pack your package and set out.
Secondly, travelling outdoor, indisputably, enables us to have an easier access to culture diversity and long history. Those imperishable cultures inherited by our forebears exhibit their infinite intelligence and mature aesthetic creativity. like the root sculpture in Sichuan province, china, artists often got together in a public square to make root sculptures. Hundreds of sculptures not only inherited the essence of local culture, but also blend the classics and modernism.
Lastly, don’t you think the promotion and encouragement of travels across countries play a pivotal role of strengthen the economic and diplomatic ties through muilt-nations. For me, I have represented my high school as an exchange student to Washington State. I have benefited a lot from that program, for I received feverish welcome from American students and my host family. It was a golden opportunity of strengthening the peaceful friendship ties with China and America.

In conclusion, from what I have mentioned above, it is travelling in foreign countries that make us enrich clearer recognitions to outside world and facilitate the more communications through multi-nations.

kimi0428UID: 2592187

不好意思，改晚了