Littleecho33哒 作文区

littleecho33UID: 2876349

09.06.12NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities.

I am 80% sure that large quantities of college students have taken at least one part-time job when in university. Having experienced two this kind of job, indisputably, it gave me a golden chance of facing the world in a different perspective. However, along with many problems caused by taking part-time jobs in recent times, someone suggests that students should not take the job. But for me, personally, I am very supportive of encouraging students to do it.
First and foremost, having a part-time job will with no doubt relieve the heavy family workload. Even though the wages may be not as high as a formal full-time, the sundry earnings can sustain a student’s daily expenditure such as eating, living and some simple social activities. Thus, to forage a proper part-time job in spare time does make the student live a little more abundant.
Secondly, even if your family is wealthy enough to bear the college expense and you don’t have to save the money, it is a good opportunity to expand your vista. Just imagine you are a part-time waitress or a waiter in Starbucks, customers from different countries with different background communicate various issues with each other in coffee scent permeated environment. And you can serve them and talk to them. Isn’t it a wide way that can enlarge your vision of the world to make up for the narrow interpersonal relationships in ivory tower?
Furthermore, an increasing number of college students are falling into doing sedentary studying, which means being a bookworm in libraries all day long, or try some experiments in labs in whole day. This way of living is undoubtedly badly harmful to students’ health and growth. Nevertheless, taking a part-time job can not only fit your physical health but make you alleviate academic stress.
In conclusion, no more practice is capable of preceding doing a part-time job that can both keep body and soul together and strengthen the communication skills.

littleecho33UID: 2876349

09.08.01NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life.

Whether to having other people, especially those influential ones, to know your background and merits when you attempt to participate in a sensational group is a strange coupling. On the one hand, people can get your strengths quickly to determine whether you are imperative one to them; on the other, more stress and strain will be put on you because people are inclined to express higher expectations to you. Personally, I am prone to not making people know your strengths and achievements ahead of time.
First and foremost, everyone wants to mold him or herself as a new and fresh one when becoming a member of an unfamiliar environment. If you let others know what you excel at and what you specialize in, things would not get better, as I said before, an increasing number of stress and expectations will make you feel more exhausted. Indisputably, those lucent accomplishments and achievements are past wealth for you, they should not be made sensible.
Secondly, having been a leader of two departments of Students’ union of my university, I have personally concluded that it’s not wise and reasonable to learn the new applicants who are intended to add in out unit before interview, because I have always formed a very subjective individual points to these interviewee according to their invalid accomplishments. My very personal views were filled with partial bias, which resulted in making many wrong decisions.
In my final analysis, I raise a question that how you define ‘success’ in your comprehension. Noticeably, success is identified by perceivable endeavor and competitiveness. They cannot randomly be determined by a simple sheet of paper listed all the glory performance in the past. There are many approaches getting successful in life: Trying something right now, and make sure your employers perceive your capability. That is of great significance.
In conclusion, the above three factors indicate that I am not in favor of that the way becoming successful need to have people to know your previous achievements and merits.

风起云落UID: 2833888

I am 80% 【这……不好吧……】sure that large【相比之下具体数字放这里更好】
quantities of college students have taken at least one part-time job when in university. Having experienced two【twice好一点？】
this kind of job, indisputably, it gave me a golden chance of facing the world in a different perspective. However, along with many problems caused by taking part-time jobs in recent times, someone suggests that students should not take the job. But for me, personally, I am very supportive of encouraging students to do it.【感觉逻辑有点乱，最好把however那句提到having experienced之前】

First and foremost, having a part-time job will with no doubt relieve the heavy family workload. Even though the wages may be not as high as a formal full-time, the sundry earnings can sustain a student’s daily expenditure such as eating, living and some simple social activities. Thus, to forage a proper part-time job in spare time does make the student live a little more abundant.【abundant可以这么用？】

Secondly, even if your family is wealthy enough to bear the college expense and you don’t have to save the money,【赞让步】 it is【still】a good opportunity to expand your vista. Just imagine you are a part-time waitress or a waiter in Starbucks, customers from different countries with different background communicate various issues with each other in coffee scent permeated environment. 【话说，你有没有发现你这句话有两个动词且没有连词？虽然读着挺顺吧……建议在customers前面加and，两句都是imagine的宾语】And you can serve them and talk to them. Isn’t it a wide way that can enlarge your vision of the world to make up for the narrow interpersonal relationships in ivory tower?. G
. K8 y, S) S4 ~
Furthermore, an increasing number of college students are falling into doing【删掉】sedentary studying, which means being a bookworm in libraries all day long, or try【改成doing】 some experiments in labs in whole day. This way of living is undoubtedly badly harmful to students’ health and growth. Nevertheless, taking a part-time job can not only fit your physical health but make you alleviate academic stress.【这么说太中式了，alleviate your academic stress 就可以了】


In conclusion, no more practice is capable of preceding doing a part-time job【什么意思？】 that can both keep body and soul together【这么说好奇怪……】
and strengthen the communication skills. ( o' P+

结尾最好把前面三段的意思总结一下哈~要不显得太单薄了
中文的痕迹比较明显
嗯 不过逻辑不错。。。
不大会点评，就说这么多了。。。
加油^_^

tracyqian17UID: 2768321

I am 80%(fundamentally) sure that large quantities of college students have taken at least one part-time job when in university. Having experienced two this kind of job觉得很奇怪, indisputably, it gave（gives） me a golden chance of facing the world in a different perspective. However, along with many problems caused by taking part-time jobs in recent times, someone suggests that students should not take the job. But for me, personally, I am very supportive of encouraging students to do it（开头有点长，最好能简练，提出观点）
First and foremost, having a part-time job will with no doubt relieve the heavy family workload. Even though the  wages （of part-time jobs)may be not as high as a formal full-time's不能比吧？, the sundry earnings can sustain a student’s daily expenditure such as eating, living and some simple social activities. Thus, to forage a proper part-time job in spare time does make the student live a little more abundant.?
Secondly, even if your family is wealthy enough to bear the college expense and you don’t have to save the money, it is a good opportunity to expand your vista. Just imagine you are a part-time waitress or a waiter in Starbucks, customers from different countries with different background communicate various issues with each other in coffee scent permeated environment. And you can serve them and talk to them. Isn’t it a wide way that can enlarge your vision of the world to make up for the narrow interpersonal relationships in ivory tower?(反问句很不错）
Furthermore, an increasing number of college students are falling into doing sedentary studying, which means being a bookworm in libraries all day long, or try some experiments in labs in whole day. This way of living is undoubtedly badly harmful to students’ health and growth. Nevertheless, taking a part-time job can not only fit your physical health but make you alleviate academic stress.
In conclusion, no more practice is capable of preceding doing a part-time job ？that can both keep body and soul together and strengthen the communication skills.
最后一段需要改进，例子需要再深入下，不过整体层次还是很清楚
我能力有限，共同加油！！

littleecho33UID: 2876349

3# 风起云落


thanks for your comments and revision. i spend scarce time in practising my indepandent writing. maybe it seems chiglish. hahah. to the phrase"keep body and soul together", i learned it on New Oriental School, which means 富足点儿，手头宽松点儿

littleecho33UID: 2876349

09.05.30NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.

Nowadays, an increasing number of parents are spending more money in sending their young children to various art or music schools. Recently, the issue has been brought into focus that if young children, especially those five to ten, should be required to learn art and music. For me, I am not supportive of it.
First and foremost, art and music are things belong to inborn interest and talent. As is known to all, we have hardly seen that an art master is taught to get success. Most of them have an inborn gift for matching of color and lines, or are sensitive to melody and rhythms. If the children are fascinated by them and then, we could consciously conduct them to learn, For instance, one could stand in front of a portrait painting for long and gaze it until someone urges, that would be an overt phenomena which indicates he or she is intrigued in it and should be guided in deeper study.
Moreover, as far as the training cost is concerned, it is not a tiny sum of money for every family to bear. Having learned the Chinese calligraphy for 8 years since I was eight, all of those lucent achievements I got and satisfactory calligraphy writings I have worked our were with no doubt in sacrifice of a huge sum of learning expenditure. My mother said they wouldn’t have paid it if I haven’t fallen into it. Thus, you have to plan family finance well to sustain the expense.
Lastly, we should pay more attention to the moral education besides math and science classes rather than arts and music. For these children, they are not mature enough to distinguish the right and wrong and, what is more, are easy to go astray. What not strengthening more moral instruction to them?
In conclusion, it is notable to see that we should not compulsorily require every child to get art and music courses save math and science. They belong to those who really fancy and who want to go into them. The three fundamental reasons I suggest above show my contradiction to it.

风起云落UID: 2833888

soga...受教了
话说俚语什么的真是╮(╯▽╰)╭

littleecho33UID: 2876349

Just imagine what it would be like if you were a high school graduate, were your mom and dad
more nervous than you to choose which university you should go. In the eyes of me, large quantities of children may have experienced it. Recently, the issue has been brought into focus that whether parents should help to determine a perfect roadmap for their children. Personal, I sheerly contradict to it.
First and foremost, before anything proceeds, we must get a clear understanding on what the essence of education is. If the ultimate destination of educating a child is to help them decide what they should do in the future, that is definitely not education! In my own perspective, the essence of it for parents is to construct them how to be independent, how to be decisive, how can be a person who has his/her own opinions. Thus, as far as the education is concerned, allowing your children to make choices from the small family anecdotes to more extensive ones is very imperative.
Second, followed by the hypothesis above, can you imagine how embarrassed and regretful your parents would feel if they totally help you to determine a university or a major that you were not intrigued it at all, which almost might incite an abandon, or a cease of your study. Should the dear mom and dad be responsible for it? Nobody can guarantee you could learn it well if no interest fascinates. To take the responsibility of any consequence of any decision, there is a urging need that parents should permit children to determine the future by themselves.
Lastly, self-confidence is easily to build up through making choices by children themselves. As is known to all, self-esteem has become the most significant personalities a child should has of all the ones. A child can be more confident in how to spend pocket money, a teenager can be so in how to balance playing and studying, a grown-up can be so in determining his/her own way in life. Isn’t it a beneficial way?


In conclusion, no matter from which aspect are taken, allowing children to make their own choices is very essential to their way of growth. Hence, I strongly give my vote to it.

日落沙发UID: 2764889

Just imagine what it would be like if you were a high school graduate, were your mom and dad more nervous than you to choose which university you should go. In the eyes of me, large quantities of children may have experienced it. Recently, the issue has been brought into focus that whether parents should help to determine a perfect roadmap for their children. Personal, I sheerly contradict to it.


First and foremost, before anything proceeds, we must get a clear understanding on what the essence of education is. If the ultimate destination of educating a child is to help them decide what they should do in the future, that is definitely not education! In my own perspective, the essence of it for parents is to construct them how to be independent, how to be decisive, how can be a person who has his/her own opinions. Thus, as far as the education is concerned, allowing your children to make choices from the small family anecdotes to more extensive ones is very imperative.

Second, followed by the hypothesis above, can you imagine how embarrassed and regretful your parents would feel if they totally help you to determine a university or a major that you were not intrigued it at all, which almost might incite an abandon, or a cease of your study. Should the dear mom and dad be responsible for it? Nobody can guarantee you could learn it well if no interest fascinates. To take the responsibility of any consequence of any decision, there is a(an) urging need that parents should permit children to determine the future by themselves.

Lastly, self-confidence is easily to build up through making choices by children themselves. As is known to all, self-esteem has become the most significant personalities a child should has of all the ones. A child can be more confident in how to spend pocket money, a teenager can be so in how to balance playing and studying, and a grown-up can be so in determining his/her own way in life. Isn’t it a beneficial way?

In conclusion, no matter from which aspect（aspects） are taken, allowing children to make their own choices is very essential to their way of growth. Hence, I strongly give my vote to it.

楼主语言不错，用了很多长句。
第一个论点说：教育的根本目的是培养孩子的独立精神。
第二个说，如果家长替孩子选择孩子不喜欢的专业，会导致孩子厌学。
第三个说，孩子自己做选择，比较容易培养自信。

论证得不错。

这篇文章，我正好和楼主持相反的观点。
欢迎楼主回拍！
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1149563-1-1.html

在板凳儿上。

littleecho33UID: 2876349

2009.9.11NA  do you agree or disagree it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life.
Have you ever seen a film scene where two mocks are using their exceptional kung-fu to fight against each other? Have you ever obsessed in a plot where female and male leading roles are falling into a feverish love? Have you ever been fascinated in the kinds of high-tech biochemical weapons? Movies always have an intangible magic power that can hold people’s attraction all over the world. However, is it the only way that can teach us something about real life? Personally, I sheer object to it.
First and foremost, most of movies are a kind of illusions, or fantasy, which reflect the director’s the way of thinking and the value of world. Few of the movies in modern times are about real life, are something that occurs in our surroundings. Directors and playwrights view the deviation from social norms as ideal thoughts rather than the truth of life to serious social problem. Thus, to learn something about real life through watching movies is not feasible.
Secondly, a copious of movies that are intended to attract a huge success in top box office will magnify violence, sex, social ills, crimes into the presence of a movie. They try everything to exaggerate unrealistic things, such as unreal sins, secret rituals and so forth, to the real life. I say with no doubt that it is do harm to the growth of adolescents, who are not mature enough to distinguish between the right and wrong. If we construct them by guiding them to watch movies, how will they comprehend the entire world in their unripe awareness?
Undoubtedly, there is a titanic of other ways to learn the real world. For example, I have read book that said the genesis of drama is originated by a group of performer who wanted to objectify the real life in forms of performing. They put their pleasure of harvest, the sadness of divorcement, the anxiety of facing danger and so forth, to the presence of dramas. Why not you buy a ticket with some of your intimate friends to go to theatre if you would like to get close the real life?
To summarize what I’ve mentioned above, it is striking to say that movie is by no means the only access to real world.




1 N) i+ v7 x5 j* \7 ^" z

allthetimeUID: 2898309

8# littleecho33 [/b

Just imagine what it would be like if you were a high school graduate, were your mom and dad
% {! u( s" M2 G9 Y+ c: Amore nervous than you to choose which university you should go. In the eyes of me, large quantities of children may have experienced it. Recently, the issue has been brought into focus that whether parents should help to （可以不用to）determine(用draw或其他什么动词来搭配roadmap,我喜欢用 blueprint) a perfect roadmap for their children. Personal, I sheerly contradict to it.
! o* Y& e% u6 DFirst and foremost, before anything proceeds, we must get a clear understanding on what the essence of education is. If the ultimate destination of educating a child is to help them decide what they should do in the future, that is definitely not education! In my own perspective, the essence of it for parents is to construct them how to be independent, how(这个how去掉) to be decisive, how can（how 去掉,can 改成to）be a person who has his/her own opinions. Thus, as far as the education is concerned, allowing your children to make choices from the small family anecdotes to more extensive ones is very imperative. E/ g: m* k' \3 T8 T
Second, followed by the hypothesis above, can you imagine how embarrassed and regretful your parents would feel if they totally help you to determine a university or a major that you were not intrigued it at all, which almost might incite an abandon, or a cease of your study.(改成问号) Should the dear mom and dad be responsible for it? Nobody can guarantee you could learn it well if no interest fascinates. To take the responsibility of any consequence of any decision, there is a urging need that parents should permit children to determine the future by themselves.; \0 d, c8 @+ X
Lastly, self-confidence is easily to build up through making choices by children themselves. As is known to all, self-esteem has become the most significant personalities（单数） a child should has of all the ones. A child can be more confident in how to spend pocket money, a teenager can be so in how to balance playing and studying, a grown-up can be so in determining his/her own way in life. Isn’t it a beneficial way? 2 U) {% h5 _* k- G- v0 t
" ^) B; u# r2 {; D' o( J
( T! J) r: X5 Z2 J, Q
In conclusion, no matter from which aspect are(我认为是is) taken, allowing children to make their own choices is very essential to their way of growth. Hence, I strongly give my vote to it.

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

9.9 修改。。 没有附件功能了，，不知道哪里的问题。所以，大白话，粘贴。。

2009.9.11NA  do you agree or disagree it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life.. s4 c& L( F& M2 N& e" A

Have you ever seen a film scene where（in which） two mocks are using their exceptional kung-fu to fight against each other? Have you ever obsessed in a plot where female and male leading roles（在Google中翻译为主导作用? ） are falling into a feverish love? Have you ever been fascinated in the kinds of high-tech biochemical weapons? Movies always have an intangible（incredible） magic power that can hold (catch) people’s attraction( the attraction of people,修饰词离被修饰对象近点) all over the world. However, is it（本句中出现两次it，这里最好就用watching movies） the only way that can teach us something about real life? Personally, I sheer object to it. （这个# I$ G3 F* S. u  H+ g3 e; c- v
排比开头，值得学习。。哈哈

First and foremost, most of movies are a kind of illusions, or fantasy, which reflect the director’s way of thinking and the value of world( 表达的意思应该是“导演的思维模式和价值观”，但是句子写出来了就有点歧义 which follow the directors’ way of thinking and reflect the directors’ outlook of the world) . Few of the movies in modern times are about real life, are something that occurs in our surroundings. (也没见这样并列的。Few of movies nowadays are related to the real life, things that happen in  our surroundings) Directors and playwrights view the deviation from social norms as ideal thoughts rather than the truth of life to serious social problem.(rather than前后表达不畅快，先用简单句表达清楚意思了，再用长句子连起来) Thus, to learn something about real life through watching movies is not feasible.

再看这四句话，很清楚的。第一句A：电影反应制片人的思想；第二句B：当代电影很少反应现实生活；第三句C：制片人多以社会阴面为理想题材；第四句D：电影中学现实生活不可行。
我来重组逻辑： B A C D （你试试这样的顺序。。呵呵，个人见解，如有不妥，请原谅。)

Secondly, a copious（adj?? n） of movies that are intended to attract(reach) a huge success in top box office will magnify (elements, such as) violence, sex, social ills, crimes into the presence of a movie. They try everything to exaggerate unrealistic things, such as unreal sins, secret rituals and so forth, to the real life. I say with no doubt that it (is) do harm to the growth of adolescents, who are not mature enough to distinguish between the right and wrong. If we construct them by guiding them to watch （such） movies, how will they comprehend the entire world in their unripe awareness?! (这里是想强调看坏电影的严重后果吧，但是这句话读的没有这个感觉)
Undoubtedly, there is a titanic （of）other ways to learn the real world. For example, I have read bookS that said(不要换时态) the genesis of drama is originated by a group of performerS who wanted to objectify the real life in forms of performing. （这句话，有点难懂。客体化现实生活？而且要表达清楚，句法就要严密了。）They put their pleasure of harvest, the sadness of divorcement, the anxiety of facing danger and so forth, to the presence of dramas. Why not you buy a ticket with some of your intimate friends to go to theatre if you would like to get close the real life? （至此，偏题。不是去找个办法解决现代人不接近real life,而是问能从电影中学到real life吗）

To summarize what I’ve mentioned above, it is strikingly to say that movie is by no means the only access to real world.  (结尾也感觉偏了。


哈哈，这篇，看的好仔细，忽然发现了冲突，和我理解的很多地方不一样。所以，自作主张改了很多。。见谅。。
另外，你的用词，好像有些装饰的感觉。就是用的不很自然。虽然，我的词语比较贫乏但是用在作文里的词语都很熟练的。
哈哈，也祝你早日成功。

ing315UID: 2870197

2009.9.11NA  do you agree or disagree it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life.
Have you ever seen a film scene  where (in which)two mocks are using their exceptional kung-fu to fight against each other? Have you ever obsessed in a plot where female and male leading roles are falling into a feverish love? Have you ever been fascinated in the kinds of high-tech biochemical weapons? Movies always have an intangible magic power that can hold people’s attraction(attraction of the people, 注意主语啊)all over the world. However, is it(it只能代上句话的movies, imageney movie/watching movies)[/color] the only way that can teach us something about real life? Personally, I sheer object to it. (很喜欢你的开头,很新颖,语言驾御功夫了得~~)

First and foremost, most of movies are a kind of illusions(主谓一致), or fantasy, which reflect the director’s the(redundancy) way of thinking and the(redundancy) value of world. Few of the(redundancy) movies in modern times are about real life, are something that occurs in our surroundings(SVO,VO?......不对啊,有2个V). Directors and playwrights view the deviation from social norms as ideal thoughts rather than the truth of life to serious social problem. Thus, to learn something about real life through watching movies is not feasible. (论点论述很有力!)
Secondly, a copious of movies that are intended to attract a huge success in top box office will magnify violence, sex, social ills, crimes into the presence of a movie. They try everything to exaggerate unrealistic things, such as unreal sins, secret rituals and so forth, to the real life. I say with no doubt that (说的有点点小纠结)it is (does/did) do harm to the growth of adolescents, who are not mature enough to distinguish between the right and wrong. If we construct them by guiding them to watch movies, how will they comprehend the entire world in their unripe awareness? (句式多样,词用的也非常恰当.但可更深入分析为什么电影人要夸大人类阴暗面,是为了制造卖点,让情节起伏...ETC)
Undoubtedly, there is a titanic of other ways to learn the real world. For example, I have read book that said the genesis of drama is originated (起源是起源于?)by a group of performer who wanted to objectify the real life in forms of performing. They put their pleasure of harvest, the sadness of divorcement, the anxiety of facing danger ,and so forth, to the presence of dramas. Why not you buy a ticket with some of your intimate friends to go to theatre if you would like to get close the real life?(这一点有点凑字数的感觉,论点不是特别有说服力)
TO summarize what I’ve mentioned above, it is striking to say that movie is by no means the only access to real world (前面说的超好,最后一句有点吓人啊~跑题了....题目不是说电影是the only access to real world 而是it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life)

__________________________________________________________


很好的文章, 语言能力,词的选择,句式变幻不俗
强啊~~!!!
论点也很好, 还可以再大力渲染一下电影制造商的丑恶嘴脸
唯一遗憾的是,最后一句话啊, (拜托,那也太吓人了吧.....)

学到了很多的东西  :)

littleecho33UID: 2876349

Aesthetic performance and recreational facilities are a strange coupling, government are always becoming a devil and deep sea because of a tight fiscal budget. The issue which aspect should government put more emphasize on has been brought into heated focus recently. Yet personally, I give my vote to the art and music performances.
First and foremost, Museums and performance halls provide a exceptional shelter to the glaring culture and an access to the public. Excavations historical relics as well as music performances are typical brilliant representatives of local culture, and embody the lucent intelligence of our ancestors, which have stood the test of time and can exert positive instructions about the cultivation of culture to us offspring.
Secondly, attaching more emphasize on construction of museums and music performance is a imperative way to the development of local tourism. If a magnificent and comprehensive museum
can be built up to be the symbolic building of the city, I say with no doubt that this can be dramatic attraction to the tourists from home and abroad, which can definitely boost the local economy and create more long-lasting jobs opportunities.
Lastly, from another perspective, don’t you think there are too many recreational facilities in a city, ranging from governmental supported to business operated? In addition, compared to expensive tickets and service fees, I do believe people in modern societies can afford the expenses on swimming pool and playgrounds at average income level. So government should shift the vision to consideration about aesthetic buildings.
From what I’ve mentioned above, to strike a better balance on artistic and entertainment facilities, more focus should be attached on the artistic facilities, which is not only conducive to culture cultivation to the public but to strengthen the prosperity of local economy.

canonleeUID: 2827997

修改见附件！
很好的文章，向你学习！
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