canonlee的独立写作小组的作业帖

canonleeUID: 2827997

9.14作业！
9.14.doc (22.5 KB, 下载次数: 8)

2010-9-13 17:21:11 上传

下载次数: 8

haoannaUID: 2582245

2009.9 25NA do you agree or disagree:having jobs with low paying salary and being high secure is better than jobswith high salary but being easy to lose.


How much we can earn in work depends onseveral factors, in which secure condition may be an important one. However,personally, I don't think that jobs with low paying salary and high secure willbe better than jobs with high salary but not safe. Three reasons listed belowwill support my opinion.


First of all, low salary will have negativeeffects on daily life. I love reading, traveling in my spare time. But if I can’tearn much, then I will have not enough （宾语）to afford these activities besides（？） basic life need, and high quality life will not be possible. Also,low paying jobs always mean few vocations. Take cleaner for example, he/shewill have no weekend, and have to stay in the same site all day long.
（看不懂）This will （动词？）really tired, and I will haveenough time to have a long trip.（看不懂） Besides, workers getting low salary（salaries） don’t have high social statustoday. Despite I think this phenomenon is not fair, I will strive to have ahigh paying job in order to improve my status.


On the other hand, people today get salaryaccording to how much wealth they can create for his/her company, and a jobwith high secure doesn't mean people will contribute less. Take academicresearch for example, most of research works are done in definitely safe lab today.So as the statement says in the question, researcher should get little fromtheir work. This（指代不清） doesn'tmake any sense. Actually, researchers' achievements may be great valuable oncebeing introduced to markets, so they are among people （who） earn most today. Similar things happen to other areas, such asbusiness, education and arts（art）. In a word, ajob with high secure but low salary may not be reasonable.（结论和论述不大相符。）


Finally, jobs with high danger should bepaid more. These people are always working in extreme environment, like miners orastronaut, and those jobs are dispensable to the society. Without absolutelysophisticated technology, miners have to work in deep well to meet socialdemand of coals. Similarly, astronauts have to finish their missions working inspace, despite of high danger they face. They should be heroes of the society,and they should get more from their work. However, miners earn much less thanastronauts. I think this issue should be paid more attention to. （astronauts不满足观点）


To sum up, a job with low salary and highsecure can’t guarantee that it will be better than a job with high salary butlow secure, for that allow salary influence life quality and high secure doesn’tmean creating little wealth for the society. On the other hand, I definitelysupport that jobs with high danger should be paid more.
词汇不错。但是每段观点不是很清楚，主要是因为阐述不完全支持观点句。
再者，少用点 I do…的句子。

canonleeUID: 2827997

题意理解错了，结果写的一塌糊涂...
17# haoanna

haoannaUID: 2582245

18# canonlee
你评的很好啊，特别是我内容上的对我很有帮助，我逻辑分析不好。
请问一下 你说我第二段最后一句歧义了。我没看懂什么意思。
你能解释下不？

canonleeUID: 2827997

9.16作业！
欢迎狠批！
9.16_cannon.doc (22.5 KB, 下载次数: 20)

2010-9-15 20:19:02 上传

下载次数: 20

canonleeUID: 2827997

9.18作业！
大家狠批！
9.18_cannon.doc (22 KB, 下载次数: 9)

2010-9-15 20:19:47 上传

下载次数: 9

ing315UID: 2870197

9.16很好的文章.正反,孩子的影响~
建议开头把题目改写,避免剽窃.....

chxh2020UID: 2587109

2009. 10. 17 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and televisions should always show audience good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished.

When it comes to (不错)movies, some people think that movies should always get good people rewarded and bad people punished, while others have opposite opinion. Personally, I tend to agree with the former one. Reasons supporting my view are listed below.

First of all, if good people in the movies get what they want in the end, the concept that good deeds will lead good results will be accepted by audience unconsciously. As a result, the audience will do things right like the actors do in the movies. They will comply with morality, ethics or（宜为and?）
laws; they will finish (achieve or accomplish ) their responsibility for their communities; they will help each other to solve troubles, which will definitely make the society more harmonious. Take Forest Gump as an example, people learn from the movie that we should be simple to ourselves and kind to others and (，) despite we may be born poor or seem not smart, we will be welcome （popular） and realize our dreams finally.

On the other hand, bad people should be punished. If not, audience may feel annoyed at the end of these movies, not to mention that some of them may take the idea rational that bad guys do（删掉） are able to escape being punished after doing something harmful to others or even to the whole society. Besides, criminals must be sentenced to prison or even death, or how can we believe in the laws in reality. The laws and governments may have no power to punish these people that are really dangerous, and citizen may lose confidence and reliance of their government. (意思表达不清楚)

Finally, children may be greatly influenced by movies（不地道 可否为？ children are the greatest influenced audience watching movies）. Adults are already educated for many years, so that they have their criterions to judge good and evil. But this may be difficult for children. They spend most of their time in school, and they have little chance to contact with the society. Therefore, their social experiences are limited. To make things worse, children today spend much time watching movies. It is reasonable to worry about the negative effects of movies to them, especially these movies that confuse them with good and evil. In order to make a good environment for children's development, movies should tell what's right and what's wrong, and their distinct consequences.

To sum up, movies play a key role in developing people's attitude towards good and evil. If good people can't be awarded or bad people can't be punished, it will definitely have negative effect on the society, especially for children, who have not enough social experiences to judge independently. （结语写得不错。）
总得来说楼主写得还是不错，但我们都还需要努力，加油！

canonleeUID: 2827997

谢谢你的修改！
我会改正的！
22# ing315

canonleeUID: 2827997

多谢你的修改！
继续努力！
23# chxh2020

cqx83UID: 2671579

抱歉,改晚了,建议见附件内,加油~