于是我又写了一个作文练手....求拍啊求拍

eweUID: 2891191

You and your family had a dinner for special celebration in a local restaurant. But you and your family are not satisfied with the restaurant. Please write a letter to the main manager:
Explain why you are not satisfied.
What happened?
What you want the manager to do?


Dear manager:

I am writing to complain about my unpleasant experience in your restaurant
last Saturday.

I and my family had dinner in your restaurant to last Saturday to celebrate for the moon festival. We choose your restaurant because our friends gave high recommendations on the classy taste of your Chinese food. However, most dishes we had on that day were too salty and oily. To make things worse, we found hairs in one of our cuisine, which was disgusting. We called the waiter at once, but the waiter named Charlie was absolutely rude. He claimed that this was just how the dishes supposed to be and refused to change the cuisine with hairs with a new one for us.

I supposed both the food and service in such a well-reputational restaurant as yours should be better than this. The unprofessional cook and servant in your restaurant are far from being satisfied, and I supposed you may want to send them for proper training before losing your customers.

Faithfully yours,
Meg


Task 2:
Some people think particular skills, e.g.: car maintains, bank account management, should be learned as well as the traditional academic subjects.
Do you agree?



Our children today are forced to digest more and more knowledge during their early age due to the pressure from our increasingly competitive society. However, opposite to the extensive attention being paid on the traditional academic subjects, such as mathematics and literature, basic skills for our daily life, such as car maintenance and band account management are somehow neglected. Some people proposed that these skills need to be added to the learning agenda of our children too, and I totally agree with that.

I supposed that the basic purpose for learning hard during the early age is to ease our life in the latter. In our society which the intellectual property plays such a pivotal role in determining the earning and the social status of an individual, academic subjects such as mathematics and literature is definitely important to be learned. However, since everyone of us, no matter what we do for a job, still have to deal with daily travails such as the car maintenance and bank account management, I see a necessity for our children to learn these skills also, which may be as important in their future life as basic knowledge they acquired from the traditional academic course.

Someone may argue that children can learn these daily-using skills from their parents in daily life instead of the classroom, which is already fully-scheduled with other academic courses. However, the fact is that, the parents tend to simply put more emphasis on subjects that the school emphasized on and fail to realize that the school are expecting them to teach their children these skills by themselves. In addition, not every parents are qualified enough to give proper lesson to their kids on these skills even they do want to.

Collectively, I believe that including particular skills such as car maintenance and bank account management in our education system is both necessary and essential. I considered that this would largely benefit our children for their future life.





请大家帮忙看看写作的问题主要是什么吧,具体或笼统都可以,谢谢大家拉

eweUID: 2891191

修正版~

Dear manager:

I am writing to explain about how I had an unpleasant experience in your restaurant last Saturady.

My family and I  had dinner in your restaurant  last Saturday to celebrate for the moon festival. We choose your restaurant because our friends gave high recommendations on the classy taste of your Chinese food. However, most dishes we had on that day were either too salty or tastless. To make things worse, we found hairs in one of our cuisine, and we felt too disgusting to have any apeptite. We complained to the waiter named Charlie at once, but he was absolutely rude. He even claimed that this was just how the dishes supposed to be and refused to replace the cuisine with hairs for us.

Both the food and serviceare supposed to be much better in such a well-reputation restaurant as yours. The unprofessional cooking and servant in your restaurant are far from being satisfied, and we were very disappointed. I would suggest that you need to send this cook and the waiter, Charlie,  for proper training to stop losing your customers.

Faithfully yours,
Meg

山大电工UID: 2627777

团队精神希望作文修改的板油，最好不要等待别人主动给你修改，建议你先修改论坛上别人的作文，然后把自己的作文链接留下给对方互改如果你不愿意修改别人的作文，别人可能也有同样的想法一份耕耘一份收获，强调互改，互相学习寸有所长，尺有所短。
希望同学你也能帮别人改改作文 毕竟看个作文不是看个笑话 那么容易批改的

山大电工UID: 2627777

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... Borderby%3Ddateline
不会也是你写的吧？呵呵

eweUID: 2891191

不是阿, 不过这位同学的作文我好像帮着改过~~~ 对手指,其实我也改了点文的阿

重返蓝天UID: 2896290

We can not find how and  where the paper was amend until we compare it with the text firstly writed by "ewe" .There are several positions changed, but a important change is that "ewe" use a lot of other ways to replace the "I ****".In my opinion, the whole artical developed a lot after modified.
Come on , congratulate to your every succecc^^……:)

山大电工UID: 2627777

嗯恩看到了。呵呵互相帮助共同进步,论坛才能有良性循环,咱们斑块互动性差。你们加油。