issue70

lyra339UID: 137464

Issue70: in any profession-Business, politics, education, government--those in power should step down after five years.The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership.

It is ture that revitalization through new leadership is one of the ways for enterprises to success. But the statement that in any profession-business, politics, education, government-those in power should step dowm after five years, which ignores the actual conditions, is too arbitrary. Admittedly, when leaders have no fear of losing their power, some of them may tend to abuse their power. Besides, a new leadership usually has greater initiative and would bring in new ideas. Most nations now days such as the USA and the China elect new leadership every four or five years.

However, we can also see many entrepreneurs are in charge of some companies for a considerably long time and their companies keep the a rapid pace of progress always. We can’t deny that some old leaderships are keeping on improving themselves at all time to be fit for the society. Moreover, the old leaderships are superior to the new ones in some aspects.

First of all, the precious wealth for the old leaderships is experience. As Patrick Henry, an Americna statesman, once said: “I have but one lamp wait which my feet are guided ; and that is the lamp of experience. I know of no way of judging of the future but by the past.” In fact, a leader in any profession, no matter business or politics, should face various conditions, some of which are familiar to them but most are never experienced. To make a decition as soon as possible and as correctly as possible is the duty for them. According to a survey of some top executives, they said that they use intuition, in most circumstances, which mainly based on experience rather than knowledge, to judge and solve problems. It may be difficult to see the difference between new leaderships and old leaderships in common condition, however, abundant experience accumulated for ages would make old leaderships much more calm and clear-headed when facing unexpected conditions.

Second, Old leadership has an obvious superiority in personal connection-a factor that can never be ignored by any leadership who are longing for success. The influence of personal connection are particularly significant in business. As we know, a leader in certain company often keep close relationship with several underlings who are friends rather than underlings for them. They experience many difficulties together and trust each other always. In their everyday work, they cooperate with a tacit agreement and hence must be efficient. What’more, some leaders have their regular customers and prefer beliving in each other to switch to other companies. Once the leadership is changed, it is high probability that the old leader would bring some talented underling and regular customers away together. We can’t deny that the new leaders will recreat new personal connection and customer nets, but at least it will take some time.

Finally, a relatively stable condition is crucial to any profession to make futher progress. however, changing the leadership too frequently would result in unstable condition. When a new leadership begin to take charge, there would be more change happened correspondingly such as new officials, new policies. It may take a long time for the new official to be familiar with the condition or for new policies to be accepted by populace. Besides, some new leaderships would abolish policies established by former leaderships which can not make benefit in a short time. All those may lead to some unexpected factors that may harm countries or compaines’ interests.

Changing leaderships every certain years is indeed a way to success, but may not be suitable for any profession, any company, any department. What we should do is carry out different policy according to different condition.

写了好久的，都没有记时间， 我想请大家帮我看看我的文章大概是什么程度，主要的问题在哪里，应该从什么方面努力。我想8月初考试，现在还来得及吗？多谢！

lyra339UID: 137464

请哪位高人指点一下，好希望有人给点帮助

00foxUID: 112731

我觉得如果把political leader, commercial leader 分开说会更好一点。

韩庐山UID: 137393

写得还可以。 你分析的题目的几个要点都很不错，思路清晰。
不过语言还可以再精炼一些。叙述的太慢，有些不太重要的话可以删去。
用词上面还可以再有所提高。
----纯属个人观点。

feier521UID: 109747

和我上传的文章一样耶！8 月初考什么啊？

It is ture (true) that revitalization through new leadership is one of the ways for enterprises to success. But the statement that in any profession-business, politics, education, government-those in power should step dowm（down） after five years, which ignores the actual conditions, is too arbitrary.
Admittedly, when leaders have no fear of losing their power, some of them may tend to abuse their power. Besides, a new leadership（不可数吧，以下的leaderships都应该去s，leadership不等于leader吧） usually has greater initiative and would bring in new ideas. Most nations now days（nowadays） such as the USA and the China elect new leadership every four or five years.
感觉开头不要这么写的这么具体吧？让步后，没有提出自己的立场。下面一段才转折，但是怎么只谈到企业家？

However, we can also see many entrepreneurs are in charge of some companies for a considerably long time and their companies keep （the） a rapid pace of progress always. We can’t deny that some old leaderships are keeping on improving themselves at all time to (be) fit for the society. Moreover, the old leaderships are superior to the new ones in some aspects.

First of all, the precious wealth for (of) the old leaderships is experience. As Patrick Henry, an Americna（American） statesman, once said: “I have but one lamp wait which my feet are guided ; and that is the lamp of experience. I know of no way of judging of the future but by the past.”（呵呵，名言不错，已收录） In fact, a leader in any profession, no matter business or politics, should （will）face various conditions, some of which are familiar to them, but most are (those they) never experienced. To make a decition(decision) as quickly and (soon as possible and as) correctly as possible is the(their) duty (for them). According to a survey of some top executives, they said that they use (used) intuition, in most circumstances, which mainly based on experience rather than knowledge, to judge and solve problems. It may be difficult to see the difference between new leaderships and old leaderships in common condition, however, abundant experience accumulated for ages would make old leaderships much more calm and clear-headed when facing unexpected conditions.

Second, Old (old) leadership has an obvious superiority in personal connection-a factor that can never be ignored by any leader(ship) who are(is) longing for success. The influence of personal connection are (is) particularly significant in business. As we know, a leader in certain company often keep(s) close relationship with several underlings (who are friends rather than underlings for them)感觉有点罗索. They experience many difficulties together and trust each other always. In their everyday work, they cooperate with改为（in） a tacit agreement and hence must be efficient. What’(s) more, some leaders have their regular customers （and）改为who  prefer beliving(believing) in each other to switch(ing) to other companies. Once the leadership is changed, it is high probability that the old leader would bring some talented underling(s) and regular customers away together. We can’t deny that the new leaders will recreat new personal connection and customer nets, but at least it will take some time.

Finally, a relatively stable condition is crucial to any profession to make futher（further）progress. h(H)owever, changing the leadership too frequently would result in （unstable condition）改为instability. When a new leader(ship) begin(s) to take charge（不及物吗？我也不清楚）, there would be more change(s) happened correspondingly such as new officials, new policies. It may take a long time for the new official to be familiar with the condition or for new policies to be accepted by populace. Besides, some new leaderships would abolish policies established by former leaderships which can not make benefit in a short time(理由牵强). All those may lead to some unexpected factors that may harm (countries or compaines’ interests)改为the interests of countries or companies. 另外不要老是用may，缺乏力度。

Changing leaderships every certain years is indeed a way to success, but may not be suitable for any profession, any company, any department. What we should do is（to） carry out different policy according to different condition.（文中说不改变领导的好处（经验，人际关系及顾客，保持稳定），没有说改变领导适用于什么领域以及根据不同情况制定政策，所以结尾重点应强调前者。）
个人意见，呵呵，可能很多地方改的不对。

*（目的不纯，我要赚积分，买车和狗狗：D）

lyra339UID: 137464

谢谢，我也觉得我写的文章语言、用词特别单调，象小学生差不多，而且很罗嗦，有时候重复都是为了凑字数，我觉得光写理由根本写不出来，可是要写例子又不知道，不知道怎么好？大家有什么好主义吗？

韩庐山UID: 137393

我觉得光写理由也是可以的。只要道理贴切，即使字少一些也没有关系。
还需要继续联系呀，多看看别人写得好的文章，明确一些动词的用法。