TF912 作文 23分 求改～

pybmimiUID: 2736130

Topic: People should not pay for the publictransportation. Do you agree or disagree?


Over the past three decades, China hasachieved social stability and economic prosperity. More and more people beginto consider the reform of social welfare. It is a growing recognition thatpeople should not pay for the public transportation.

Free public transportation inspires people，especially who haveprivate cars，to convert their customs. With the increasing population, trafficcongestion becomes one of the biggest problems that a lot of cities are facing.More attentions are paid on practicing free public transportation by thegovernment. And individuals may try to choose, considering costs in time andgas, free public transportation which covers the entire city. From 2008, a smallcity with a population of one hundred thousand in the Middle of China, calledChangning began to promote the free-public-transportation policy. The number ofpassenger has increased 5 fold by now according to the data. What’s more, the vehicleflowing rate decreases 10 percent on the main street. Traffic jams thins noticeably.

Meanwhile, free public transportation which changes the transport modesin cities will be in favor of saving limitedresources and protecting the environment eventually. Due to the trend of freepublic transportation, fewer vehicles will be running on the busy road so thatless gas will be consumed, less exhaust will be discharged as well as less noisepollution we will suffer.

Lastly, compared with paid publictransportation, balancing the gap between the rich and the poor is also an advantage.The cost of using private cars remains to be increased. Like the situation inLondon, it takes an 8-pound congestion charge for a car to get into the towneach time, not to mention the expensive parking fees. Moreover, the fees fromthe rich can be used to support the free public transportation. However, publicfinance which is from the taxes should be responsible for most of the expenditureapparently. In addition, ads revenue from the vehicles and bus stations canmake up for the expenditure partly. A Free Public Transportation Fund can becreated to stimulate the growth of it.

All in all, free public transportation has somany advantages which satisfy the majority. Consequently, both government and individualshould support it so that we will live in a more inhabitable environment.

MaPleJeffreYUID: 2865239

我看了第一段就不知道你在说什么。老外写文章都是开门见山地。
篇幅偏短了，我911考的，W30.我写了近500.
还有就是词汇不准确，比如convert their customs，还是change吧。convert不是这么用的。
多用复杂的连接词，比如despite the fact that之类，少用lastly，all in all...
句子写长一点，结构多一点。老是主谓宾，会有审美疲劳。

pybmimiUID: 2736130

2# MaPleJeffreY 30分！！！ 牛啊 有没有什么练习写作的经验可以分享分享，特别特别愁作文，不知道应该从何入手。911你综合写作写了多少字啊 真是佩服

MaPleJeffreYUID: 2865239

3# pybmimi 我应该是写了将近500字吧。我觉得，比较好的方法是多看范文。看比写重要，看了以后摘录一些有用的短语词组来背。然后才能把范文变成自己的文章。

pybmimiUID: 2736130

4# MaPleJeffreY 恩恩 又道理，你都看的什么范文呀 911你的其他各项如何，912被正态的很严重～我准备再考一次，没决定要报哪天的

07mengxiUID: 2921034

我今年托福连战两次，两次W都是30。告诉你拿高分秘诀：第一，字数要多，一般超过550字就能拿高分；第二，段落逻辑要清晰，我一般是写五段，开头+分论点1（支持A）+分论点2（支持A）+分论点3（反对A或支持B）+结尾；第三，开门见山，开头一般通用模式是：背景（一句话）+提出问题+观点A+观点B+自己选择
照这样练，准没问题，看我两次写作分数就知道了，加油吧！