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[作文] Daily writing by Zhao Pan [复制链接]

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发表于 2011-4-5 20:47:02 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
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沙发
发表于 2011-4-6 17:49:52 |只看该作者
Do you agree or disagreewith the following statement? It is better to make friends with intelligentpeople than with people who have a good sense of humor.
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All people who want tolive happily must make more or less friends during their lifetime. For theindividual who wants to release his pressure and maintain a harmoniousfriendship, he can benefit much more by getting along with humorous persons.There maybe one or two advantages as a friend of intelligent persons; however,there are far more advantages as a friend of humorous persons.

First of all, some minoradvantages to making friends with intelligent people may include acquirement ofsome valuable suggestions. For example, his friend can tell him how to achievea balance between concentrating on his course
(中间加一个of) study and attending some part time jobs. He can also instruct himto make a considerable plan of spending their spare time so as to reasonably(这个副词放在句末会更舒服些吧) handle therelationship of work and entertainment. Another merit to living with a wise person involves the possibility that theindividual can learn a lot about the way to solve tough issues. For instance,the smart man can show him how to divide a complicated mathematic problem intoseveral easier problems and solve it step by step.. d$ P1 X/ H* T* {7 q
Even though there may beone or two advantages to making friends with intelligent persons, theadvantages to making friends with people of a good sense of humor far outweigh them. By talking with humorous persons, the individual can feelthe happiness of life and release his enormous pressure in time. He may beamused by aan exaggeratedjoke given by his friend and free himself from the gloomy emotion resulted from his failure in chemistry test. Also eachtime he feels too much pressure from study or work, he can relieve it bychatting with his friend since his friend is considerably optimistic and tellhim that everything will be ok.  q: E2 K- g  p& w'T3 \- H5 ]
( ?: S*{, }% ?  y+ g5 ~4 S% V+ _
Another merit to makingfriends with humorous people is that it is generally easier to maintain aharmonious friendship with them. For example, after an individual has a drasticquarrel with his companion for some reason, their displeasure may be removedcompletely by just one facetious word or joke given byhis companion. Also it is through humorous words that his friend is capable ofpointing out his mistakes without embarrassing him. But the most importantthing is that he will always feel at home with his friend and be more willingto contribute to promoting their friendship.
Although I agree thatthere may be a couple of advantages to making friends with intelligent people,I claim that the advantages to making friends with humorous people are moreobvious. By communicating with facetious persons, the individual is able to amuse himself and relieve hispressure. In addition, a humorous person is noticeably easy to get along with. From my point of view, these are the two important aspects for a person to consider formaking friends, and people of a good sense of humor are his best choices.

作者的词汇量还是蛮大的,很多有很多用法都值得我学习;
我特别想说的是,作者的写作上上有一些问题:
既然已经确定了“幽默的朋友比聪明的朋友好”这个观点,最好能单刀直入的叙述你的原因,并论证你的这个观点,作者的第二段,我觉得写得太长而且没有必要,完全可以用一两句话简单说一下,然后一个however,引出你自己的观点,然后把这几句话并入第一段中。
还有就是,作者真正要论述的观点反而有些不丰满,作者只是简单的说了一下原因,并举了简单的例子,我个人认为,这些例子恰恰是要详细的写,比如说:“我在高中的时候,同时有两个朋友,一个朋友特别聪明,一个特别幽默好处,可是,我和我的聪明朋友经常发生口角,但是和幽默的朋友却相处融洽,我们一起。。。。”这样的话感觉更有说服力。
以上仅个人观点,如果有什么不对的,渴望您的批评指正并发信息给我,大家共同进步吧

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板凳
发表于 2011-4-7 22:45:27 |只看该作者
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地板
发表于 2011-4-8 10:37:57 |只看该作者
4月7日 独立 修改
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发表于 2011-4-8 22:28:46 |只看该作者
4.7日  独立修改
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发表于 2011-4-9 11:20:58 |只看该作者
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发表于 2011-4-9 13:18:59 |只看该作者
改完
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发表于 2011-4-10 22:05:25 |只看该作者
不好意思我的作文传晚了,你4.9的独立作文呢,我怎么也没看到啊

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发表于 2011-4-10 23:12:30 |只看该作者
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发表于 2011-4-10 23:15:29 |只看该作者
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发表于 2011-4-12 21:13:14 |只看该作者
10# zhaopan0558
你4.11的独立呢?

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发表于 2011-4-13 21:55:30 |只看该作者
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发表于 2011-4-13 22:01:13 |只看该作者
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发表于 2011-4-13 22:10:05 |只看该作者
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发表于 2011-4-13 23:24:41 |只看该作者
4.11  写的很好,也帮我拓展了自己的思路。学习了
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RE: Daily writing by Zhao Pan [修改]
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