作文特训小组--taylor的写作贴..

taylor.1023UID: 2713071

10月23日要考试了。最近作文练习要紧锣密鼓地开始...
希望大家多多来拍噢！

taylor.1023UID: 2713071

9月28日作业。独立一篇。

个人品德 What is a very important skill a person should learn in order to be successful in the world today? Choose one skill and use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

Society is the place which is formed by different groups of people. Inevitably, we have to deal with a variety of people, such as roomates, parents, and also coworkers; that is to say, one can escape from having connection with others. Under this circumstance, excellent and elegant communication skill helps people outstand themselves in the first meet, deliver a cogent persuation, strengthen their interpersonal network, and lead to the final success.

As it is known to all, good first impression is the cornerstone toward success. Although people always claim that one should not judge a person by the first appearance, without doubt, leaving good impression to others at the first sight do benefits people a lot. Imagine that an eloquent student and a clumsy one who will more quickly blend into a new collge full of strangers; and the answer is clear. Sutdents who are better in communication is more likely to take an active role in the strange atmosphere. They are willing to share the idea about this new school with others around them, and response others’ questions positively. All these would make others feel that he is an easy-going man, and willing to make friends with him. On the contrary, students who are shy and ineloquent might be reluctant to speak to others, which might lead others to misunderstand them as a supercilious persons and show less welcome to them. In this way, they need to take a long time to get familiar with these new classmates. So expressing oneself appropriately and gracefully would leave good first impression to others, resluting in a better adaption in the new environment.

Another advantage of possessing good communication skill is to persuade others successfully. Undoubtedly, cogent and forceful persuation make people to attain what they want better. In today’s world, we almost need to persuade others everyday. As a child at home, you need to convince your parents that you are able to organize the time effecitvely so that they won’t interrupt your enjoyable moment when you are playing the online games. As an applicant in a competitive interview, you have to make your boss believe just in a limited minutes that you’re the good fit one they are looking for. As you can see, being skillful in communication gets you to express in a clear and persuasive way, and more importantly, to gain trust from others.

Not only do the excellent communication skill would leave people a good first impression and make effective persuation, but also it will consolidate the relationship between people. In the modern competitive society, success depends on a strong interpersonal network; it means that the deeper the relationship between you and others is, the more advantages you hold on the way to success. Clearly, no one would believe that an ineloquent manager will possess a wider social network rather than a charming one.

In conclusion, good communication skill plays an indispensible role in helping people succeed. If people do badly in communicating with others, it might leave a bad first impression on or lose trust from other people.

taylor.1023UID: 2713071

9月30日。独立写作一篇。
希望这回有童鞋帮忙修改噢~

Is the ability to read and write more important today than in the past?

The ability to read and write is a tool for people to gain informations, communicate with others, and more importantly it can be a way to relieve one’s loneliness and dissatisfaction. Comparing with people in the past, skills in reading and writing plays a more significant role for people living in modern society. And I would develop my opinion in the following.

The lack of the ability to read or write made them much less competitive in modern society. As it is known to all, the invention of internet leads people to the information explosion era, which means that there are all kinds of literal materials people need to do researches on or make comments about. In this way, being able to read or write becomes a basic requirement for everyone, especially in the job market. Illiteral people find it more and more difficult to be qualified in being employed rather than in the past time. Several decades ago, their grandparents and parents were still able to work on farm, or even do some trading with others without knowing how to read or write. However, this cannot be seen any more today.

Reading and writing is also helpful for people to communicate with each other in a comfortable and pleased way. Emails and text messages become essential communication tools for modern people. If confronting something frustrated, we prefer to send a mail or a piece of message to some close friends to search for their comfort and encouragement. Or if receiving a similar news full of sorrow from families or friends, we would write them back right away to tell something interesting to help them forget about the unhappy things. On the contrary, if people don’t know how to read or write, it might prevent them from communicate with others freely.

If people are able to read and write, it offers the gate to express their ideas and emotions. Just as some ancient poets in China, who combined their disappointment toward the emperor and society within the poems. Currently, under the pressure of modern fast-developing society, people often feel worried about the future, or lonely in the crowd, and I have no exception to these. Everytime I get lost on the way to success, I would immerse myself in writing diaries, and after finishing writing, I feel like the sense of uncertity has gone away. So I could not imagine that if I were not able to read or write, how the life or the world would be.

Undoubtedly, the ability to read and write becomes more important for people at the moment.

卡束斯UID: 2836974

Is the ability to read and write more important today than in the past? " J# q" q# D( v, H8 u: L" ~3 M8 Q
  e9 j, q4 L5 L
The ability to read and write is a tool for people to gain informations, communicate with others, and more importantly it can be a way to relieve one’s loneliness and dissatisfaction.(gratify one when he or she feel lonely and empty）Comparing with people in the past, skills in reading and writing plays a more significant role for people living in modern society. And I would develop(list) my opinion in the following.(as follow)

The lack of the ability to read or write made them much less competitive in modern society. As it is known to all, the invention of internet leads people to the information explosion era, which means that there are all kinds of literal materials people need to do researches on or make comments about. In this way, being able to read or write becomes a basic requirement for everyone, especially in the job market.(It becomes a basic requirement for individuals to read or write on the work conditions.) Illiteral(?) people find it more and more difficult(is getting harder and harder) to be qualified in being employed rather than in the past time.(of yore)Several decades ago, their grandparents and parents were still able to work on farm, or even do some trading with others without knowing how to read or write. However, this cannot be seen any more today.
* d/ j  q' {4 d
Reading and writing is also helpful for people to communicate with each other in a comfortable and pleased way. Emails and text messages become essential communication tools for modern people. If confronting something frustrated, we prefer to send a mail or a piece of message to some close friends to search for their comfort and encouragement. Or if receiving a similar news full of sorrow from families or friends, we would write them back right away to tell something interesting to help them forget about the unhappy things. (And all the same while our families or friends email us for cosoling we will encourage them with the facinating tools)On the contrary, if people don’t know how to read or write, it might prevent them from communicate with others freely., I4 Q! x* L5 J9 W
4 D$ y0 j5 g  D
If people are able to read and write, it offers the gate to express their ideas and emotions. (The ability to read and write is a gift for people which provide a way people express their thoughts.)Just as some ancient poets in China, who combined their disappointment toward the emperor and society within the poems. Currently, under the pressure of modern fast-developing society, people often feel worried about the future, or lonely in the crowd, and I have no exception to these. Everytime I get lost on the way to success, I would immerse myself in writing diaries, and after finishing writing, I feel like the sense of uncertity has gone away. So I could not imagine that if I were not able to read or write, how (miserable)the life or the world would be.0 M1 k% n* Y+ e
- F( i) l4 T1 V* d/ C
Undoubtedly, the ability to read and write becomes more important for people at the moment.
例子运用挺好的，但是句型积累不足。很少用过渡句，并且抽象观点的总结稍微欠缺。

taylor.1023UID: 2713071

谢谢卡束斯同学的鼓励和帮助。
我会注意这些问题，好好修改的。

taylor.1023UID: 2713071

10月1日。独立写作。
题目：letting a friends make a mistake is better than saying or doing somthing that may destroy the friendship

Human beings are a kind of animals that need to live in the connection with others; that is to say, no one can live without the existence of families or friends. Friendship plays a significant role in people’s life, and every of us are afraid of destroying or even losing it. So, in many cases, we choose to let a friend make a mistake rather than saying or doing something that may harm the friendship. However, in my point of view, I suggest that people should protect their friends from making mistakes, even this would ruin their friendship.

Honest is the essential characteristic to a truly friendship, and the first thing to be a good friend is to point out their friends’ shortcomings in order to help them avoid making mistakes. If we have known that our friends were going to do something inappropriate, like to cheat in an examination, or even worse, to commit something illegal, we just pretend to have no idea about it, and let them make these mistakes which might bring them deeply regretion in the future. Do you really think you are still friends? Absolutely not. A friend is supposed to be someone would try their best to correct the mistakes of their friends rather than someone remain silent about that.

To be continued, someone that lets their friends make a mistake will finally destroy the friendship between them. For instance, if one of your friend tells you that he decides to cheat in the next test, you don’t stop him, for you know it might bring harms to your close relationship. Unfortunately, he was caught up by teachers in class, and felt rather regreful about what he have done. From then on, he probabaly would not regard you as the best friend, since you didn’t prevent him from making such a terrible mistake in his life. In this way, the friendship which you try hard to protect is still ruin by your silence.

Now, you will think whether stopping a friend from making mistakes would destroy your friendship or not, and the answer may be no. Everyone has drawbacks, and always hope people around them are able to direct them back to a correct way. And this is what true friendship intends for, to grow healthily together. As a resutl, the suggestion to help friends out of making mistakes will not ruin the friendship but enhance the relationship between you.

Friendship is treasure to all of us throughout the life, so we should be honest to our friends and help each other to be a better one under all circumstances.

谢谢修改。

chxh2020UID: 2587109

10月1日。独立写作。。
一正+一反+倒数第二段感觉还不错。从论证的角度来说还是比较到位。赞一个。我觉得这个思路写作中太重要了，我经常思路混乱，最有作文老是败笔。

taylor.1023UID: 2713071

10月2日的独立写作一篇。
请拍噢！

The purpose for education is to cultivate students’ ability in thinking independently, which means that they should understand ideas and concept in the textbook or through the lecture first, then learn about facts, and finally they are able to analyze the problems all by themselves. So, I would definitely consider the understanding of ideas and concept and the learning about facts have the equal importance to students.

For one thing, ideas and concept are theorical tools for students to solve practical problems better. If a student, whose major is communication, cannot competely master the quantitive method, it might be a tough work for him/ her to finish the research projects in related field. Some key iterns and important procedures for the quantitive method is like a useful map guiding students on the way to carry on the researches. As a result, to get a throughout understanding for ideas and concept is foundamental to study.

For another thing, learning facts connects students with the real world, which ensures their study can be put into a pratical way to benefit the whole society. No one would deny that only the research that is intrumental to solve the realistic problems can be of value. In order to work out some real problems, the more students pay attention on and learn about facts, the more pratically and exactly their projects are. So, facts also play an indispensible role in study.

As you can see, only through understanding ideas and concept or learning facts cannot help students analyze the problems independently. Ideas and concept are something concluded by our experienced and professional forerunners, and these provide us a scientific and accurate way in carrying the researches out; while facts are sociated with the realistic, which leads us to the area that are urgent and necessary to be examined. In this way, only combining ideas and concept with facts can students build up their own way of thinking and make a scientific and pratical research for the whole society.

Without understanding on ideas and concept, students cannot master enough professional skills that might be helpful in methological area. Or without enough informations about facts, students fails to keep pace with the fast-developing world and make less contributions to lead people in the face of realistic issues.

grandyangUID: 2730087

改好啦

lynn27UID: 2774627

taloy中立.doc (26 KB, 下载次数: 4)

2010-10-3 10:44:42 上传

下载次数: 4

改好了哈。抱歉我作文也刚写完，所以改的比较晚也。

taylor.1023UID: 2713071

父母儿童教育  Parents find it hard to control their children for the children are now inf luenced by many things outside home like television or movie. 070616

Children in modern society differs with those in past decades, which they find themselves surrounded by a group of technological equipments, such as television. With the explosive development of techonology, childern, who still depend on the direction from outside world, are easily influenced by it, making parents have less control on their kids.

First and formost, children are able to get different resources of informations from television or movie, which might decrease the influence from parents. As it is known to all, nowadays, we confront the information explosion era; that is to say, the huge amounts of informations rush into and have great effects on our daily life. In this way, children would hear diverse voices towards a current issue, such as from some experts who are are discussing their latest discoveries about the moon on a scientific tv program. And this, they might have less possibility to get from their parents than from this kind of professions. Hence, with the advance of modern technology, children attain more knowledge from it than parents.

Furthermore, the time that children spend on watching tv or movie is over than that they stay with parents. According to a national statistic record, since 2000, kids, who are 3 to 10 years old, spent over 6 hours in front of the tv or computer screen, which is said to be 2 hours more than that they shared with families. And it also tells that parents sacrifice much time on work and business, it leads to lack of communication with their kids. Less communication inside family results in the fact that children are reluctant to listen to their parents but turn to the television or computer. As you can see, parents feel difficult to control kids because they pay less time on them.

Nevertheless, although influenced by techonologies a lot, children are still willing to obey their parents’ words in many cases. Parents are the first teachers in a child’s life, not only because of their rich life experiences but the deep love to the child. To take myself for example, I have great passion on music since I was a little girl, for my mum is a music teacher, who always sing a sweet song to me at the bed time. And these songs consisted a best memory for my childhood, because it reminds me of the beautiful voice and tender love of my mother. With the cultivation of her, I fell in love with music and chosed music as my major in college.

In conclusion, parents might have less influence on their children as kids would get informations from and spend more time on watching tv or movie. Howver, on the other hand, childern still need the direction and suggestion from parents.

S酱UID: 2883188

Children in modern society differs with those in past decades, which they find themselves surrounded by a group of technological equipments, such as television. With the explosive development of techonology, childern（children）, who still depend on the direction from outside world, are easily influenced by it, making parents have less control on their kids（them 主语是children么）最后一句插入语写的很不错.

First and formost（foremost）, children are able to get different resources of informations from television or movie, which might decrease the influence from parents. As it is known to all, nowadays, we confront the information explosion era; that is to say, the huge amounts of informations rush into and have great effects on our daily life. In this way, children would hear diverse voices towards a current issue, such as from some experts who are are discussing their latest discoveries about the moon on a scientific tv program. And this, they might have less possibility to get from their parents than from this kind of professions. Hence, with the advance of modern technology, children attain more knowledge from it than parents.（这段前面写的蛮好，逻辑和句子都很严密毫无问题。但是从such as举例开始有点不切题，觉得此例子和主题没啥关系，并且最后一句孩子通过其他途径学知识和parents的control貌似没关联上）

Furthermore, the time that children spend on watching tv or movie is over than（貌似没这用法？） that they stay with parents（staying with their parents 直接对比on后面的内容就可以）. According to a national statistic record, since 2000, kids, who are 3 to 10 years old, spent over 6 hours in front of the tv or computer screen, which is said to be 2 hours more than that they shared with families. And it also tells that parents sacrifice much time on（to） work and business, it（which） leads to lack of communication with their kids. Less communication inside family results in the fact that children are reluctant to listen to their parents but turn to the television or computer. As you can see, parents feel difficult to control kids because they pay less time on them.

Nevertheless, although influenced by techonologies a lot, children are still willing to obey their parents’ words in many cases. Parents are the first teachers in a child’s life, not only because of their rich life experiences but the deep love to the child. To（删除） take myself for example, I have great passion on music since I was a little girl, for my mum is a music teacher, who always sing a sweet song to me at the bed time. And these songs consisted a（the） best memory for my childhood, because it reminds me of the beautiful voice and tender love of my mother. With the cultivation of her, I fell in love with music and chosed music as my major in college.（觉得这个让步不是特别让的感觉啊～因为太和你第一段观点相悖了呢0 0）

In conclusion, parents might have less influence on their children as kids would get informations from and spend more time on watching tv or movie. However, on the other hand, childern still need the direction and suggestion from parents. （觉得这个你可以提到开头说，这样第四段就比较站得住了）

用词用句都挺不错的～注意下例子的问题～注意下语法问题，有点语法错误

taylor.1023UID: 2713071

10月5日。独立写作一篇。

个人成功 University Education is the most important factor of success in life. 080629

As it is said that the most valuable thing in life is success, no one would deny his/ her desire for success. Some people believe that university education plays most significant role in success; however, I admit that education in university is important but not the most imporant factor of attaining success.

The success in life depends greatly on efforts people pay rather than university education. To take Edision as an example, although having none opportunities to enter the unversity, he struggled to success all by himself. With the persistent dedication to invent the new light resource, Edison kept trying several thousand kinds of materials, and finally was succesful to invent the electric light. As you can see, even lack of education in university, he still obtained success due to his own great efforts. However, on the other hand, some students are admitted in unversity, but are always absent from the classes and addicted to the video games. In this case, it might be difficult for them to succeed in life.

Furthermore, the system of university education might not meet the needs of every single student to be successful in life. To illustrate this point of view, we should just look at the example of Bill Gates, who dropped the opportunies to university education and chose to work fo a computer company, and finally built up his own kingdom in technology industry. This shows us that unversity education is not the only way by which one can go for success in life. People with different final goals might probably work out their own ways to success.

Nevertheless, with the cultivation in university, our students could be more competitive in modern job market. The professional knowledge we acquire, the interpersonal and communication skills we practice, as well as the social network we build up in the university provide us a higher position in future career. And according to the national statistic record, a diploma will be easier to find a better job, as well as gaining decent salary after graduation than people who just graduated from high school. As we all know that a degree of diploma can be the foundamental stone for getting into famous international cooperations.

Since the personal efforts and goals for success are different from person to person, the university education is probably less significant in the life of some students. Like Edison and Gates, we should depend on our efforts and work out exact and accessible for ourselves on the way to success.


感谢同组的童鞋修改！

allyvvUID: 2485111

As it is said that the most valuable thing in life is success, no one would deny his/ her desire for success. Some people believe that university education plays （the）most significant role in success; however, I admit that education in university is important but not the most imporant factor of attaining success.( X9 \3 c: n5 y" g" d6 h( ] (however 和 but 意思重复勒，要去掉一个，具体怎么写自己考虑下。)

The success in life depends greatly on efforts people pay（pay--> make） rather than university education. (rather than 这个句式用在这里很好。) To （似乎可以不要这个to）take Edision as an example, although having none opportunities to enter the unversity（access to university）, he struggled to success all by himself (anyway). With the persistent dedication to invent the new light resource, Edison kept trying several thousand kinds of materials, and finally was succesful to (succedded in inventing) invent the electric light. As you can see, even lack of education in university, he still obtained success due to his own great efforts. However, on the other hand(有点重复，去一个吧。), some students are admitted in unversity, but are always absent from the classes and addicted to the video games. In this case, it might be difficult for them to succeed in life.

Furthermore, the system of university education might not meet the needs of every single student to be successful in life. To illustrate this point of view, we should just look at the example of Bill Gates, who dropped the opportunies to university education and chose to work foR a computer company, and finally built up his own kingdom in technology industry. This shows us that unversity education is not the only way by which one can go for success in life. People with different final goals might probably work out their own ways to success.

Nevertheless, with the cultivation(education 的词汇变幻，很棒！) in university, our students could be more competitive in modern job market. The professional knowledge we acquire, the interpersonal and communication skills we practice, as well as the social network we build up in the university provide us a higher position in future career. And according to the national statistic record, (graduates with diplomas)a diploma will be easier to find a better job, as well as gaining decent salary after graduation than people who just graduated from high school. As we all know that a degree of diploma can be the foundamental stone for getting into famous international cooperations.


Since the personal efforts and goals for success are different from person to person, the university education is probably less significant in the life of some students. Like Edison and Gates, we should depend on our efforts and work out exact and accessible for ourselves on the way to success.

1.例子举得很贴切！
2.建议把倒数第二段放到第一个理由段去写，也就是放到第二段去。

taylor.1023UID: 2713071

10月6日独立写作。交晚了~
10 生活习惯  Because people are too busy doing many different things，they can do few things well 070303

The relation between the quantity and quality of managing things can be subject and relative. Some argue that doing a variety of things might leads to the result that fails to complete them perfectly. But as for me, managing diverse things gets people to have great efficiency and be more careful on what they are doing, and further might provide them with abundant resources in related areas.

Under the pressure of getting all different things done, people might have more motivationto finish them, instead of regarding it casually. As it is known to all, stress arouses strong motivation and responsibility for works. In other words, if finding ourselves a huge amount of things unfinished, we might probably focus more our minds on the work, hoping that we could get this done in order to start doing another one. In this way, the pressure of abundent tasks might motivate us to be less careless on the things we are supposed to do.

The different things we have to do might, in some exent, be related to each other, and offer us some useful background knowledges to those things. Take one of my learning experiences as example. As a student majoring in communication, which is interdisciplinary in both art and science, I am required to take some mathematical and cultural history courses. All these develop my quantative methods on communication researches as well as the understanding within the history of people’s communication. In contrast, if I just focus on the theories of communication, barely could I carry on a professional research in this field. As you can see, in many cases, we benefit from doing various things rather than pay all attention on only one thing.

Actually, as for some people, who are easily distracted from other things, it might be difficult to manage things well when they are assigned a large numbers of works. However, as living in a fast-developing world, one, not able to deal with different things, might be possible to fall behind, or even worse, to drag down the teamwork. As a result, it is urgently necessary to learn to put things in an order according to their emergence and importance.

In conclusion, doing many different things could have positive effects on the quality of people’s work, and so it is necessary for us to deal with such tough works in life.