作文特训小组--taylor的写作贴..

taylor.1023UID: 2713071

11 环境 The only effective way to encourage energy conservation is by increasing prices of gasoline and electricity. 070811

Asked what to deal with the current issue of energy shortage, we would receive the common answer that the effective way for energy conservation is to raise prices of gasoline and electricity. Admittedly, the increase in prices might prevent people from consuming gaseoline in the short term; it contribute less, however, to the energy conservation in the long term. My suggestions are listed as follow.

It is necessary for us to find some resources or other ways to replace the gasoline and electricity in order to conserve the energy that can not be recycled. For one thing, some environmentally friendly resources are supposed to take the place of gasoline, such as the wind power generation or geothermal energy. For another thing, the establishment of city transportation, like public buses, subways, or bicycles, should be imporved in order that encourages residents to change the ways they get to work and study. Only in this way can the stress of energy shortage be relieved.

Another factor that also helps is the paragation on the significance of energy conservation. Actually, the difficulty on this issue is not because people are reluctant to do so, but they have little ideas about how serious the current situation is. And the best way to overcome this kind of problem is to navigate the power of media. It is possible to invite some experts in related areas to tv or radio programs, or creat some charity advertisements for appealing people to pay attention to the problem of energy. With the help of wide and continuous publization, more and more people would help with the energy conservation in person.

Return to the idea about increasing the price of gasoline and eletricity. We find it have less to deal with the energy burden, and ever worse, it increase the expense in people’s daily life. Moreover, it cannot help people realize the urgent situation about energy shortage, and thus, raise their complaint about the rising life expense, which might has negative influence to the stablity of whole society. In this way, increase the price of gasoline and eletricity make it more difficult on energy conservation instead of being effective to solve this problem.

Taking the above into consideration, the replacement for energy resources and the publization on the importance of energy conservation play indispensible roles in dealing with energy shortage, while the increase of prices on gaseline and eletricity could only make the situation worse than before.

S酱UID: 2883188

15# taylor.1023

The relation between the quantity and quality of managing things can be subject and relative. Some argue that doing a variety of things might leads to the result that people fails（fail 这如果是定语从句主语的话，这result fails to 貌似很奇怪的，于是还是people主语吧） to complete them perfectly. But as for me, managing diverse things gets people to（奇怪的搭配） have great efficiency and
be more careful on（about） what they are doing, and further might provide them with abundant resources in related areas.0 `2 k# a' w# T; T" l$ T3 t
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Under the pressure of getting all different things done, people might have more motivation to finish them, instead of regarding it casually. As it is known to all, stress arouses strong motivation and responsibility for works. In other words, if finding ourselves a huge amount of things unfinished, we might probably focus more our（删除） minds on the work, hoping that we could get this done in order to start doing（删除） another one. In this way, the pressure of abundent tasks might motivate us to be less careless （说的很少）on the things we are supposed to do.

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The different things we have to do might, in some exent（extent）, be related to each other, and（which） offer us some useful background knowledges to those things. Take one of my learning experiences as example. As a student majoring in communication, which is interdisciplinary in both art and science, I am required to take some mathematical and cultural history courses. All these develop my quantative methods on communication researches as well as the understanding within the history of people’s communication. In contrast, if I just focus on the theories of communication, barely could I carry on a professional research in this field. As you can see, in many cases, we benefit from doing various things rather than pay all attention on only one thing.* n9 u2 V. b' V" A% G7 I
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Actually, as for some people, who are easily distracted from other things, it might be difficult to manage things well when they are assigned a large numbers of works. However, as living in a fast-developing world, one, not able to deal with different things, might be possible to fall behind, or even worse, to drag down the teamwork这句也太顿了. As a result, it is urgently necessary to learn to put things in an order according to their emergence and importance.

In conclusion, doing many different things could have positive effects on the quality of people’s work, and so it is necessary for us to deal with such tough works in life.结尾句有点模糊，建议再次点题

总体来说挺好的～但是语言的细节需要再加强，句子有的再推敲，再更地道～～

S酱UID: 2883188

又是我·～咱有缘啊～已改

taylor.1023UID: 2713071

12 技术与进步 Has Technology made children less creative than they were in the past 080504

When considering the function of technology on children’s creation, some propose that technology restrains our kids to be more creative than that in the past. In my point of view, children’s ability to creat doesn’t decrease due to the appearance of technology; however, as a matter of fact, it improves with the help of technical development.

The ability to creat is an inborn skill for children, which would not be lessened by the advent of technology. In the past, children always got along with the nature, which stimulated their imagination about its formation or the relation between it and our human beings. Later on the industry evlotionary has arrived, making the content relating to children’s creation change as well. Nowadays, kids show considerable interest in different kinds of technological products, for example, the robots. In this way, the arrival of technology just change what children are curious and want to creat instead of the ability to creat.

Furthermore, the technology would not only has negative effects but also has potential positive ones on children’s ability to creative. The most dramatic influence of techonlogy on children is to provide them a wider image of the world. Through tv or radio programs, as well as internet, childern might attain different inspirations from a huge amount of information, which could get them some unexpected ideas on their creation. For instance, it is possible that, after watching a tv show about a newly invented robot, a child might be incited great curiousity on this object, or even start to search on more information about the robots on the internet. In his little brain, this robot on television probably establishes the foundamental stone for his dream to be a scientist in the future.

Another factor that technology might lead children to be more creative is to provide them a more convenient lives. The improvement of children’s ability to creat has to deal with their living standard. In other words, if a child leads a hard and tough life in the past, s/he could barely make contributions on creating, for s/he needs to find different ways to support his/her own life and family. As for a child living in modern and convenient society, however, s/he might probably has enough time to find out something that s/he is curious about. As you can see, a better life, with the technological equipment, means more opportunities to creat.

From the discussion above, I definitely disagree the saying that children are less creative because of the technology. It just changes the content of what children are interested to creat instead of decreasing the instinct of creation in children’s mind. Also, it offers more information and gives them a convenient living condition to provides a better environment for them to creat.

JohnnyyUID: 2923505

When considering the function of technology on children’s creation, some propose that technology restrains our kids to be more creative than that in the past. In(From) my point of view, children’s ability to create doesn’t decrease due to the appearance of technology; however, as a matter of fact, it improves with the help of technical development.

The ability to create is an inborn skill for children, which would not be lessened by the advent of technology. In the past, children always got along with the nature, which stimulated their imagination about its formation or the relation between it and our human beings. Later on the industry evlotionary(evolution) has arrived, making the content relating to children’s creation change as well. Nowadays, kids show considerable interest in different kinds of technological products, for example, the robots. In this way, the arrival of technology just change what children are curious and want to create instead of the ability to create.

Furthermore, the technology would not only has negative effects but also has potential positive ones on children’s ability to creative. （这句有点模糊，说了消极的用not only。。but also 是不是不太好}The most dramatic influence of techonlogy(technology} on children is to（that） provides them a wider image of the world. Through tv（TVs） or radio programs, as well as the internet, childern might attain different inspirations from a huge amount of information, which could get（convey） them some unexpected ideas on their creation. For instance, it is possible that, after watching a tv show about a newly invented robot, a child might be incited great curiousity（curiosity） on this object这句有点不通, or even start to search on more information about the robots on the internet. In his little brain, this robot on television probably establishes the foundamental（fundamental) stone for his dream to be a scientist in the future.

Another factor that technology might lead children to be more creative is to provide them a more convenient lives. The improvement of children’s ability to create has to deal with their living standards. In other words, if a child leads a hard and tough life in the past, s/he could barely make contributions on creating(creation), for s/he needs to find different ways to support his/her own life and family. As for a child living in the modern and convenient society, however, s/he might probably has enough time to find out something that s/he is curious about. As you can see, a better life, with the technological equipment, means more opportunities to create.

From the discussion above, I definitely disagree the saying that children are less creative because of the technology. It just changes the content of what children are interested to create(interested in doing) instead of decreasing the instinct of creation in children’s mind. Also, it offers more information and gives them a convenient living condition to provides a better environment for them to create.

观点不错，也比较流畅，建议句子能够再清晰些。
不知道为什么改的有颜色的地方复杂上去就没有了，请见谅

米爆爆UID: 2892134

错字我没挑出来，因为我瞄见楼上的童鞋挑了
你写得很好。，理由很好，句式神马的都用得不错，向你学习了

taylor.1023UID: 2713071

13 广告媒体 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is a waste of time and money because customers already know what they want.（预测题） 07.12.08 CN


In modern commercial competition, advertising seeks an indispensible role, for it can effectively attract people’s attention on what it is selling. Through the advertisment, the company is able to exactly convey the information about a product in order to guide or even probably change the customers’ idea on what they want to buy.

The most significant advantage of advertising is to communicate with consumers in an effective and efficient way, which sell the products successfully instead of a waste of time and money. To illustrate this idea, anyone just need to turn on the television and plenty of advertisments would rush into our sights. Although only appear on tv for several seconds, they still leave deep impression on us. Take me as an example. One time I was watching a talk show on tv with my friends, and during the break, there was a Nike shirt advertisement, which showed a sporty girl wearing on it and playing tennis on the court. This beautiful shooting made us think that it is such a nice shirt that we should both own one. As a result, each of us did buy the same shirt that the advertisement was selling. As you can see, the advertisement make people to imagine themselves to be a better one by using the product it focus on, and in this way, to stimulate people’s desire to possess it.

Not only the advertisement encourages people to buy, it also lead them to understand what they really want. Since not all consumers have the idea about which kind of commodity is fit for them, the advertisement, at this time, is similar to a sales promotion person, who would introduce different features and functions for a certain product. When customers watches plentiful advertisement on tv, they feel like walking through various shops to understand the uniqueness of each product, and then choose the one they are most favorable among all. So, the advertisement, like a window, gets consumers to know about some details of a certain product, helping them make a decision on buying which.

Furthermore, the advertisement might change customers’ choices on buying. Admittedly, it is possible that people already know what they want to buy; when being connected with advertisement, however, they might finally make a different choice. Because of the appearance of advertisement, customers could have opportunities to find a better conterpart that might be superior to the one they planned to buy before. For instance, a customer who decided to buy a Canon camera, for its excellent quality on 1,000 pixel. Before purchasing this product, he accidentally watched an tv advertisement of a new Nikon camera, which also possesses the same pixel as the Canon one, but costs less than almost 100 dollars. We can imagine the final result is that the customer changed his idea to purchase the Nikon camera instead of the Canon one.

From the above discussion, advertising is a tool for conveying useful informantion to encourage, direct, and even change the customers’ idea on buying a product. Every company, who wants to win the support from customers, should gain the upper hand in the advertising campaign.

花了一个多小时写的。郁闷了。这个题目对我来说有难度了。

xjf1023UID: 2676396

写的很好啊 语言流畅 例子充分~ 稍微改了一点

generalidUID: 2824377

23# taylor.1023

哥们，我写多了点，别在意，我的作文也请你狠批。 我用的是某某老师的八股文，你权当做参考。


In modern commercial competition, advertising seeks an indispensible role, forit can effectively attract people’s attention on what it is selling. Throughthe advertisement, the company is able to exactly convey the information abouta product in order to guide or even probably change the customers’ idea on whatthey want to buy. (我还是用新东方的八股文的格式吧。你当做参考，八股文未必是好的，但未必不好。第一话先引题，能大概把文章的中心词讲一次，讲的是广告，不支持也不反对。然后第二句客套一次，可以用“有些人说支持，也有些人说反对”，或者瞎扯广告的发展；第一句和第二句都没有直接点出到底是支持还是反对，这些都算是引题。 第三句正式表达你的观点，那就是支持，理由有以下三点)

1） (1,2,3 分段的连词请参考S酱的，他的不错)The most significant advantageof advertising is to communicate with consumers in an effective and efficientway,
which sell the products successfullyinstead of a waste of time and money （第一句直接明了杀观点the mostsignificant advantage of ads is to sell the products successfully rather thanwaste of time and money. 第二句再展开去支持第一句的观点 The adsproducer is to communicate with customers in an effective and efficient way）. To illustratethis idea, anyone just need to turn on the television and plenty of advertisementswould rush into our sights. Although （无主语they） only appearon tv for several seconds, they still leave deep impression on us. Take me asan example (最有张力的论据是事实，讲故事是不能拿高分的). One time I was watching a talkshow on tv with my friends, and during the break, there was a Nike shirtadvertisement, which showed a sporty girl wearing on it and playing tennis onthe court. This beautiful shooting made us think that it is such a nice shirtthat we should both own one. As a result, each of us did buy the same shirtthat the advertisement was selling. As you can see, the advertisement makepeople to imagine themselves to be a better one by using the product it focuson, and in this way, to stimulate people’s desire to possess it（论据有三种，1 为 具体的事实或者例子2 为 数字 3 为 讲故事。 前者论证效果最好，中间次之，最后面的效果最差。 实际上大多数人都在讲故事，特别是不要讲自己的例子，要将也要讲美国人知道的例子，比如总统或者本拉登。你比方说昆仑山矿泉水 广告的震撼， 说这水怎么怎么牛叉，喝了身份高人一等，大会堂指定用水，这广告吸引了更多的潜在顾客去买这种水，实际上它就是普通的矿泉水而已，应该广告打得好。）

2）9 z5 [: Y8 \  s, GNot only theadvertisement encourages people to buy, it also lead them to understand whatthey really want （句子前后统一，ads 是not only 和but also 的同一主语，并列 The ads not only encouragethe viewers to buy the commodity, but also lead the viewers to understand whatthey really want ）. Since not all consumers have the idea about which kindof commodity is fit for them, the advertisement, at this time, is similar to asales promotion person, who would introduce different features and functionsfor a certain product （形容ads作为主语，它的定语从句和同位语结构需要调整， ads, similar to the sales promoter, introduce different ***）. When customerswatches plentiful advertisement on tv, they feel like walking through variousshops to understand the uniqueness of each product, and then choose the onethey are most favorable among all. So, the advertisement, like a window, getsconsumers to know about some details of a certain product, helping them make adecision on buying which

: T/ N! K1 c/ y- e3)Furthermore, the advertisement might changecustomers’ choices on buying. Admittedly, it is possible that people alreadyknow what they want to buy; when being connected with advertisement, however,they might finally make a different choice. Because of the appearance ofadvertisement, customers could have opportunities to find a better conterpartthat might be superior to the one they planned to buy before. For instance, acustomer who decided to buy a Canon camera, for its excellent quality on 1,000pixel. Before purchasing this product, he accidentally watched an tvadvertisement of a new Nikon camera, which also possesses the same pixel as theCanon one, but costs less than almost 100 dollars. We can imagine the finalresult is that the customer changed his idea to purchase the Nikon camerainstead of the Canon one

From the above discussion, advertising is a tool for conveyinguseful informantion to encourage, direct, and even change the customers’ ideaon buying a product. Every company, who wants to win the support fromcustomers, should gain the upper hand in the advertising campaign.

米爆爆UID: 2892134

童鞋、·你没改我作业呢。

taylor.1023UID: 2713071

11日独立写作。

独立：
14 体育 旅游   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Sports teach people lessons about life..08.12.05（预测题） 18:55


The saying goes that life is sport. In other words, the meaning of life lies in sports. When doing sports or engaging in the sport games, people would learn the significance of hard working and cooperation, as well as how to enjoy the process of life better. I’ll illustrate the reasons as following.

First and foremost, sport is a best teacher, which could show only through hard working can people attain the final success in life. For instance, in order to be stronger and have a perfect body figure, some people choose to go to the gymnasium. And once they get there, the first thing the fitness would emphasize is the persistence, which means if they lose the perseverance during the process, it might be extremely possible to fail. That is to say, the key for reaching the goals is to be persistent. From the experience in the gym, one might get to understand the importance of perseverance for pursuing one’s goals in not only sports but also other various areas.

Another factor that one might have a clearer picture about is the concept of cooperation. There are a plenty of sports that require people to play in a team and achieve the goals together. Let’s assume that a basketball game is going to hold in next week. Five strangers are distributed into a team in this game. Although having no ideas about each other at the first sight, with the continuing communication, they figure out the good fit positions for each person in the team. During the given time, they practice in playing as a team to compete with other people, and this gives them a great opportunity to learn about others’ intention and habits of playing basketball. In this way, they might probably pass the ball to one another in an ideal time and position.

Not only the hard working and the spirit of teamwork benefits people a lot in understanding their life, learning to enjoy the process of sports also furthers this kind of understanding. As living in a modern society, which operates rapidly everyday, people are more competitive and eager to win, even when they are playing games or doing sports. In other words, they concerns about the results rather than the process. Nevertheless, sports make people engage in the process, during which they might remove the stress and strains from tedious daily work, or forget about some unhappy conflicts with others. Thus, they would take the results less seriously than before, leading them to find the true meaning of happiness in life.

From the above discussion, we can easily reach the conclusion that sports play an indispensible role in helping people get a better understanding of their life, because they would learn the meaning of hard working, cooperation and happiness.

searainbowUID: 2722397

同学，我改完那篇已经40多分钟了。。然后中午有课，下午给你改，谢谢合作 27# taylor.1023

米爆爆UID: 2892134

good 阿

searainbowUID: 2722397

同学，我作文你也没改呢 The saying goes that life is sport.doc (15.5 KB, 下载次数: 0)

2010-10-12 23:08:36 上传

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27# taylor.1023