寄托天下
查看: 1982|回复: 3

[作文] 剑4 Test 2, task 1 求拍 (10月23就考试了,大家帮我看看) [复制链接]

Rank: 2

声望
1
寄托币
120
注册时间
2010-8-5
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2010-10-6 17:49:30 |显示全部楼层
Given is a line chart illustrating the need for electricity in England during the sample days in winter and summer, coupled with a pie graph showing 4 areas of the electricity consumption in an average English household.

As for the line chart, overall, it is obvious that the daily demand of electricity in winter remains much higher than that of the summer.

When it comes to the winter demand, it fluctuates during the day. Vitally, it hits the peak about 45000 units at 22, while it reaches the bottom at 30000 units at about 8, indicating a massive gap of about 15000 units of electricity.

As to the demand in summer, it still undulates during the day. Rather, it hit the bottom at 9 and reaches the peak at 14.

As for the proportion of the 4 areas of electricity consumption, in general, the units for heating purpose accounts for the largest slice of the total, evidently, reaching a substantial 52.5%, much bigger than the other 3 aspects, which reach 17.5%, 15%, 15%, respectively.

Most important of all, it is not difficult to notice that, considering the giant electricity consumption for heating purpose, it is reliable to substantiate the relatively higher electricity demand in winter than that of the summer.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 7Rank: 7Rank: 7

声望
58
寄托币
6145
注册时间
2010-7-6
精华
0
帖子
54
发表于 2010-10-7 14:08:56 |显示全部楼层
下次最好还是将题目贴上来吧。剑4 我都压到最下面去了- -

task1 不大熟悉。

你这篇整体我觉得挺好。 不过有一些词貌似不怎么见过(汗,还是我自己用的少)。Vitally,undulates,substantiate .....挺陌生的挺陌生。。我觉得不一定要求‘新’,有时候给人反而是用的偏了。。。

the other 3 aspects, which reach 17.5%, 15%, 15%。。这三个aspects,你没有说啊。

还有,用given这样开头不大好。很奇怪~


---------------
以上个人看法,欢迎拍砖- -

使用道具 举报

Rank: 7Rank: 7Rank: 7

声望
58
寄托币
6145
注册时间
2010-7-6
精华
0
帖子
54
发表于 2010-10-7 14:12:56 |显示全部楼层
李智童鞋很努力了。继续加油。。。我也还是23号考。不过我懒,作文还没写到多少篇

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
8
寄托币
291
注册时间
2010-8-2
精华
0
帖子
5
发表于 2010-10-7 19:16:11 |显示全部楼层
啊~lz练了多少篇作文了?..我也在纠结于作文练习。。感觉好困难。。T T

使用道具 举报

RE: 剑4 Test 2, task 1 求拍 (10月23就考试了,大家帮我看看) [修改]

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
剑4 Test 2, task 1 求拍 (10月23就考试了,大家帮我看看)
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1165326-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
回顶部