【Snickers小组】11月11日 issue48 by彼年豆蔻

彼年豆蔻UID: 2791778

The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.

提纲：1扩展题目+然而确实有些历史事件是由个人创造的。
        2大多数历史的推动，社会的发展都离不开广大人民群众的力量，然而被记住的仅仅是少数名人。举例马丁路德金
        3有时候人民群众的力量甚至比少数名人的力量更为重要，然而却没有青史留名，是因为人们往往只会记住事件的带头人，忽视了推动事件发展的巨大力量的根本来源。有时这样的力量不仅没有得到荣誉和纪念，反而会遭到否定。举例农民起义。
       4然而，有些事件的确是因为个人的力量而成功。举例爱迪生的发明。

字数：563

In the history text books,many historical events and trends are owned to some well-known individuals rather than the groups of common people.It is really a fact that we put too much emphasis on the famous individuals from this aspect.Admitedly,if we really consider this phenomenon using our minds,we will find it is the groups of people instead the famous few who actually push the advancement of the history.However,some big events were just achieved by the famous few,it is a fact that we cannot neglect at the same time.

Most people believe that the majority of historical events or trends were instigated by individuals,however,it is not a fact.In reality,if we really concern those events,we will find most of their success are made possible by groups of ordinary people rather than those individuals who provokeed these events.But as time goes by,when we learn these things on history books,we only contribute those events' results to the famous few while ignore the efforts of group people at that time.For instance,Dr.Martin Luther King,who led the civil right movement in America in 1960s.Today,50 years went by,when we learn this big event,we only know this event it's Dr.King's achievement and contribution.However,in fact,there were so many common people even concluding large numbers of white people who made this movement possible.Without their united resist and persistence,just the principle of non-violence and satyagraha could do nothing.But when we mention this thing,we rarely care for those groups's endeavour and even ignore those white people's efforts.It is very unfair to those people to some extent.

Moreover,the power of groups of people's effort often are more important and significant than that of the famous few.However,we often overlook those contributions from the goups of people.It is often rememberred by us that it's the leader's effort and indiviaual ability or skill that result in the success,because the emphsis of current history study gives us such a mistaken idea.What's more,it is always the fact that the history books intentionally ignores the efforts of group people when we only can learn these things in history class.For example,in fact,Chinese may never forget the achievements of Mao Zedong for he freeing the whole China.But actually it's the common people such as works and farmers who give China freeform.It is seldomly noticed that before Mao Zedong's revolution,there were many times of revolution held by different people.However,all of them didn't achieve their subjectives since they only based on the power of the groups of famous few such as the intellectuals.Therefore,we should not forget who were the real heros at that time.Unfortunnately,farmers and works' contribution are not often mentioned and their status are still the same to some degree.

Admitedly，there are many memorable things are made true just by the contribution of the famous individual person.It is those people's own efforts that rewrite or create the history.The inventions by Thomas Edison are good examples.Electric light and gramophone and other inventions really changed human's life style.And they are all invented by those famous individual's personal effort.We cannot deny these achievements should be owned to the well-known few.

To sum up,in fact most of the historical events and trends are made true by large groups of people Today's world and history study really misstakenly pay too much attention on individuals.Although there are many things which are the famous few's contribution,we still couldn't forget or deny the achievements of the groups of people at the same time.

zhangwanyingUID: 2775533

issue48_修改建议_by_zhangwanying

lornazhangUID: 2743693

In the history text books,many historical events and trends are owned(我没见过own用被动语态感觉有点不合适) to some well-known individuals rather than the groups of common people.It is really a fact that we put too much emphasis on the famous individuals from this aspect.Admitedly,if we really consider this phenomenon using our minds,we will find it is the groups of people instead the famous few who actually push the advancement of the history.However,some big events were just achieved by the famous few,it is a fact that（前面用过了，而且我觉得要简洁些， it is a fact 和没说一样，感觉还是少用为好） we cannot neglect at the same time.

Most people believe that the majority of historical events or trends were（are） instigated by individuals,however,it is not a fact.In reality,if we really concern （with）those events,we will find most of their success are made possible by groups of ordinary people rather than those individuals who provokeed these events.But as time goes by,when we learn these things on history books,we only contribute those events' results to the famous few while ignore（ignoring） the efforts of group people at that time.For instance,Dr.Martin Luther King,who led the civil right movement in America in 1960s.Today,50 years went by,when we learn this big event,we only know this event it's Dr.King's achievement and contribution.However,in fact,there were so many common people even concluding large numbers of white people who made this movement possible.Without their united resist and persistence,just the principle of non-violence and satyagraha could do nothing.But when we mention this thing,we rarely care for those groups's endeavour and even ignore those white people's efforts.It is very unfair to those people to some extent.（我觉得分析的还不错）

Moreover,the power of groups of people's effort often are more important and significant than that of the famous few.However,we often overlook those contributions from the goups of people.It is often rememberred by us that it's the leader's effort and indiviaual ability or skill that result in the success,because the emphsis of current history study gives us such a mistaken idea.What's more,it is always the fact that （你很喜欢用fact啊）the history books intentionally ignores the efforts of group people when we only can learn these things in history class.For example,in fact（冗余）,Chinese may never forget the achievements of Mao Zedong for he freeing the whole China.But actually it's the common people such as works and farmers who give China freeform.It is seldomly noticed that before Mao Zedong's revolution,there were many times of revolution held by different people.However,all of them didn't achieve their subjectives（objectives 目的） since they only based on the power of the groups of famous few such as the intellectuals.Therefore,we should not forget who were the real heros at that time.Unfortunnately,farmers and works' contribution are not often mentioned and their status are still the same to some degree.

Admitedly，there are many memorable things are made true just by the contribution of the famous individual person.It is those people's own efforts that rewrite or create the history.The inventions by Thomas Edison are good examples.Electric light and gramophone and other inventions really changed human's life style.And they are all invented by those famous individual's personal effort.We cannot deny these achievements should be owned to the well-known few.

To sum up,in fact （fact又来了）most of the historical events and trends are made true by large groups of people Today's world and history study really misstakenly pay too much attention on individuals.Although there are many things which are the famous few's contribution,we still couldn't forget or deny the achievements of the groups of people at the same time
文章写的很好，很流畅，令我印象深刻的是分析很好，至少在我看来，蛮有说服力。但fact用的感觉有点多，个人觉得还是少用it is a fact、it is true为好，因为没什么意义，这点只是个人意见，仅供参考.