argument2,处女作啊，求教怎么样让文章变长啊~2月份就要考试了说~~

专家陶宏开UID: 2967520

好像也不怎么有深度的说~~求改进~~~:mad:
The author has drawn a conclusion that Deerhaven Acres should adopt restrictions on landscaping and housepaiting.To support his recommendation, the author cite that same methods has been experimented in nearby Brookville seven years ago.The conclusion may seemingly be a sound one, however, the author has obviously neglected other factors and made some logic flaws.
The Achilles Heel lied in this argument is that the author casually contributes the restrictions to the rise of property values.There is no concrete ground that the latter is caused by the former.It is also highly possible that some other factors have contributed to the rise of property values.For instance, it may be related to the economic growth, the flutuation of population and the quantity of houses.
Even assuming that these restritions have benefited Brookville's real estate it is too hasty to say they're suitable for Deerhaven Acres.Though Brookville is next to Deerhaven Acres, the author hasn't proved that Deerhaven Acres has a similar living condition to Brookville. North Korea and South Korea also borders upon each other, but we all know that they're totally different.The analogy ignores unique terms like the taste of local people and the state of market in Deerhaven Acre.The state of market in Deerhaven Acres may not be as prosperous as it in Brookville.  It is also probably that local people may be unwilling to adopt these landscapes and colors for they do not fit to their appetite.
To say the least, Deerhaven Acres has a similar condition to Brookville, yet this evidence happened 7 years ago.Consulting from this evidence and predicting the tendancy of future is unwarranted.Things can't remain same all the time.Take people's taste for instance, it has been changing constantly.Any of these changes can be a subversion to the assertion.
To sum up, the author's conclusion about restrictions on landscaping and housepainting are responsible for the rise in property values is not persuasive as it stands.To support it,the author must provide more details and evidence,such as  recent conditions, economy and the state of market in Deerhaven Acre.If the argument has included these supportive given factors, it will be more acceptable.

专家陶宏开UID: 2967520

有没有大哥能帮忙改一下看一下啊~~~