【StruggleToTriumph】ISSUE&ARGU 习作by GGladiator

GGladiatorUID: 2972531

166. The following appeared in a local newspaper.
"People should not be misled by the advertising competition between Coldex and Cold-Away, both popular over-the-counter cold medications that anyone can purchase without a doctor's prescription. Each brand is accusing the other of causing some well-known, unwanted side effect: Coldex is known to contribute to existing high blood pressure and Cold-Away is known to cause drowsiness. But the choice should be clear for most health-conscious people: Cold-Away has been on the market for much longer and is used by more hospitals than is Coldex. Clearly, Cold-Away is more effective."

This argument assumes that Cold-Away is a more effective medicine than Coldex. To support the conclusion, the speaker points out that Cold-Away has been on the market for much longer and is used by more hospitals than is Coldex. This argument suffers from several critical flaws and is therefore unconvincing.

First and foremost, the argument assumes unfairly that the longer and wider use of Cold-Away indicate that Cold-Away is more effective. Those phenomenon can be explained by other factors. It is entirely possible that Cold-Away has been on market earlier than Coldex that lead to its longer use and because of its low price that make it widely used in hospitals.
Without ruling out these possibility, it is impossible to conclude with any confidence.

What is more, the argument fails to point out the severity of the side effect caused by each kind of medicine and the actual jeopardy for patients. It is known that almost all the medicine has unwanted side effect, but if it is not that much serious and the jeopardy is that unnoticed that we can take it to cure the disease which is threatening our health. While the argument does account of the side effect, we still can not draw any conclusion about these two kinds of medicine.

Last but not least, the argument only mentions these two kinds of medicine, however, other cold medicine available maybe much better on the market. Obviously, the author did not taking into account.

In conclusion, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen the assertion that Cold-Away is much more effective ,the author must provide persuading evidence to convincing us the truly effectiveness of this medicine.



很久没写了~时间有点紧，字数不够~O(∩_∩)O~就当先热下身了~

wzy0136UID: 2733845

LZ放错版了！
请放置于出门口向下走一级放置此文...

lz80521UID: 2756488

LZ放错版了！
请放置于出门口向下走一级放置此文...
wzy0136 发表于 2010-12-9 23:36

呵呵，有意思

sonicjamUID: 2507839

哈哈哈~咩咩你太可爱了

sonicjamUID: 2507839

LZ同学请你认真对待你的习作。。。 T T

我就不直接给你贴改的了。。传附件吧。。。

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dumplingplusUID: 2762716

This argument assumes 【换成concludes】 that Cold-Away is a more effective medicine than Coldex. To support the conclusion, the speaker points out that Cold-Away has been on the market for much longer and is used by more hospitals than is 【去掉is】Coldex. This argument suffers from several critical flaws and is therefore unconvincing.

First and foremost, the argument assumes unfairly that the longer and wider use of Cold-Away indicate 【indicates】 that Cold-Away is more effective. Those phenomenon【用复数，phenomena】 can be explained by other factors【这句话在表达含义上总感觉欠妥】. It is entirely 【highly】possible that Cold-Away has been on market earlier than Coldex that lead to its longer use 【应该是指"Cold-Away has been on market earlier than Coldex"这句话，可以用which引导的非限制性定语从句表达】and because of its low price that make it widely used in hospitals.【把这两个原因分成两句话表达是不是更好些？】
Without ruling out these possibility【possibilities】, it is impossible to conclude with any confidence.

What is more, the argument fails to point out the severity【换成existence】 of the side effect caused by each kind of medicine and the actual jeopardy for patients. It is known that almost all the medicine 【medicines】has 【have】 unwanted side effect, but if it is not that much 【much too】serious and the jeopardy is that【去掉that】 unnoticed that 【前面用了if，这个应该把that去掉，分成两句吧？】we can take it to cure the disease which is threatening our health. While the argument does account of the side effect, we still can not draw any conclusion about these two kinds of medicine【这句话要表达什么含义？是“即使argument提到了副作用，也不能对这两种药的好坏做出结论”吗？】.

文中提到药品的副作用时用了accuse，说明关于药的副作用可能是不真实的，到底谁的副作用大，还需要调查，从这个原因讲是不是要好些？

Last but not least, the argument only mentions these two kinds of medicine, however, other cold medicine available maybe 【may be】much better on the market. Obviously, the author did not taking 【take】into account.

文章讨论是这两种药的比较情况，并不涉及其它的药，这个原因比较牵强。

In conclusion, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen the assertion that Cold-Away is much more effective ,the author must provide persuading evidence to convincing us 【convince us of】the truly 【true】effectiveness of this medicine.

有些地方总感觉不妥，但我水平有限，也不知道怎么改比较好，可以再让别人帮你看下。