自己写的作文，希望找过来人看一下，给个评分把！独立写作的！

向前一步走UID: 2956904

                                                              Pets should be treated like family members



Most of people might be shocked a little bit when firstly glance the title like this, indeed, even though adopting pets is not fashionable or astonishing thing again, what attract us so much in terms of the title is the what degree we treat to the pets. As for the issue, I personally think it depend on specific condition of the people live in and the state the people stay at, after all it’s absolutely a sophisticated controversy.

However, how to define the concept of pet is the critical question if we look into the concrete condition of the pets live around people. Pets are adopted such as dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals, which entertain our life from the dull as well as unpleasant situation. Especially for the dogs which I love most amongst the normally accepted animals, not only the features of dog such as loyalty, initiative, braveness but also diligence I appreciate most. As for me, the dog adopted in my home is not absolutely deemed as pet but sometimes I consider the dog is my closest friend, even surpass the constraint of family member, because sometimes I tend to sit on the floor and stroke the fur of my dog to release the upset mood and pressure. What the dog respond me normally shake its tail and lick me with its long tongue. And then I feel relaxed and cozy.

With regard to the attitude of public, I think there are altogether two situations over the topic: for the senior and blind people, pets probably are deemed as their children, most of the time, for escaping the sense of loneliness, they have to talk with the pets even though the pets can’t understand them. The blind guide dog is much more important than the family member can do, without it, blind people might not go out any step; as for the children, pets are just like the playmate especially in the megacities, where children are all isolated only the pets accompany them.

In conclusion, I uphold the opinion that pets can be treated as family member if the people need them to be. Nevertheless, I have to say prudent choice for the pets is will be the precondition to the issue.

hycqyUID: 2819662

帮顶一下

paddysunusUID: 2469705

独立写作不用写题目吧？

向前一步走UID: 2956904

trivial matter!
Title can be removed!

qinweighUID: 2892638

同学你好，我作文很菜，但是给你几点建议如下：

1.搞清楚动词的形态。这个我突然卡住说不好，这样的，你的作文：it depend on specific condition of the people live in and the state the people stay at

it你后面就必然不能depend而是depends，condition是否只写一种我觉得是不是值得商议？我觉得是不是conditions比较合适。

2.不要缩写。it's 千万不要用，要写it is。 切记

3.我觉得您写从句这个方面是不是要加强，我语法很菜，但是有的句子您写的我实在读的觉得不流畅。

最后建议您看看IBT满分作文书什么的。。因为我一战作文只写了2天，是个Good。但是综合杯具了是个fair，于是24分。所以，您看您是不是要提高一下。。