第一篇issue103，憋了近9个小时，希望大侠指正！！！

sobeit07UID: 2800237

这是我第一篇issue，实在是太难了，断断续续写了近九小时。沮丧！！！
在写之前五篇范文都已经看过，也看了gter写的一些作文。
我自己写的过程中感觉最乏力的就是造句。因为没有思考得太深，所以逻辑上的关系我感觉还是可以把握清楚的。
但是怎么把想的写出了，就很让我头大。首先就是词汇量的缺乏，虽然背了好多单词，但真正能用出来，写进自己文章的还真是寥寥无几。
然后是句式，也是相当得无奈。写的过程也想套用一些经典的句式，但总感觉很生硬不知道往哪里放好，没有写中文时那种信手拈来的畅快。
总之，还是语言上要下功夫。
这是我第一篇issue，希望进来看的gter，不论菜鸟大侠能给些意见，褒的贬的，语重心长的，无聊扯蛋的，语言上的逻辑上的，一并表示感谢！
希望大家可以帮我看看有没有什么致命的错误。逻辑上或是大体的成文上的一些缺陷。
thanks in advance!

TOPIC: THE STUDY OF HISTORY HAS VALUE ONLY TO THE EXTENT THAT IT IS RELEVANT TO OUR DAILY LIVES.

    It is famously stated "forgetting of history means treachery". no  
individual could live his own life neglecting his forefather, no country could  
survive regardless of its past and no society could continue without the effort of
its predecessors. thus we still remember that we had thrived in "Tang dynasty"  
and the dark era of last period of "Qing";  we commemorate the success that our
antecessors achieved in WORLD WAR II. but the question arises: by  
remembering and studying of history, what can we learn from it and how can we  
use it? (lacking an immediate position?)

    In our daily life which has already been drenched with history, you  
can learn a lot through books, TV shows, tales and legends which deduce our  
history in different ways. "Analects of Confucious", written by Confucious's  
pupils, is an excellent instruction for us nowadays to deal with relations with  
others. Ren, humanity in English which is the main spirit of Confucianism, still  
guides us in our daily lives, teaches us to show benevolence and be  
tolerant when we get along with others. considering the Golden  Rule of
Confucianism:"do not do unto others when you do not want them to do  unto
you", we should always think twice before acting. in addition, the courage  
of defiance to authority of Giordano Bruno, the adventurous spirit to unknown  
world of Christopher Columbus and the attitude to science of Edison they all  
are the value of history from which we can learn and practice in our daily lives.

     However, from a broader view beyond our daily lives, history exerts  
its value at the same time in a different way. it puts human experience in  
context, and allows us to understand ourselves as a people and a culture. how  
could we imagine a sudden advent of the modern society, without little  
knowledge about our past. obviously, if the World War II had been eliminated  
from history, so would be "Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty". there would not  
be the women's liberation movement if no one care about the status of woman  
in history. history is always teaching us, reminding us, and making us try and  
succeed where others have failed. further more, history gives us a frame of  
reference to consider the possible future ahead of us. knowing the ineffective  
productivity in the primitive society and the ignorance of the right of human in  
feudal society, we can safely imagine our future society with highly developed  
productivity and the atmosphere of "everyone is equal". history certainly has  
relation with future even could be a mirror of future, so too is that history can  
not tell us the future, it can only guide us.

    Now the answer is clear: whether or not in our daily lives, history do and
will always exhort, encourage and remind us in its own way.  we are also the part
of history, you do not learn from it then you are doomed to repeat it.

露露hohoUID: 2980096

我觉得挺好的呀，加油加油

sobeit07UID: 2800237

谢谢

barbalibUID: 2911101

扫了一眼第一段，语法句式什么的就不说了
LZ要注意下每个句首的单词大写吧，不要小看，写习惯了考场改不过来的；
还有，首段是点出本文的view的，不要在第一段展开论述加例子啊什么的。

sobeit07UID: 2800237

扫了一眼第一段，语法句式什么的就不说了
LZ要注意下每个句首的单词大写吧，不要小看，写习惯了考场改不过来的；
还有，首段是点出本文的view的，不要在第一段展开论述加例子啊什么的。
barbalib 发表于 2010-12-24 21:03

下次一定注意句首大写。
语法句式是不是太烂？我刚开始，实在是想不出什么句式。估计语法也有很多不正式的。希望可以具体指点一二。
这是我的第一篇issue，希望大家可以帮我看看有没有什么致命的错误。逻辑上或是大体的成文上的一些缺陷。
谢谢！

mxmx224UID: 2866109

9小时？？ 1# sobeit07

sobeit07UID: 2800237

6# mxmx224 因为要期末考试了，是断断续续写的。第一天三四个小时一个字也没写，大概想了下思路，但就是无从下手.