第一次独立写作 望大家狠批~~~ 绝不留情——STOOIBT1

STOOIBT1UID: 2921281

2011.1.2 独立写作
do you agree or disagree the statement
it is not a good thing to move a new city or a new country because of the lose of old friend




Some people think that moving to a new city or a new country is a bad thing, because of the losing of old friends. It may be true that in the past, friends cannot talk with each other face to face, each person place him or herself into different situation and the poor technology of communication create a huge gap between different people in different area. Apparently, it is an exaggeration to say this in present age. Or even if it does, that only happens to those people who are too lazy to take up telephone and make a phone call to their friends.

With the proliferation of the internet and phone (including telephone and mobile phone), the immense world is shrinking into a tiny village. The distance is no longer a strong enemy of losing touch with old friends. Each kind of modern telecommunication equipment such as MSN, FaceBook based on internet and smart phone--a kind of mobile phone brings us a convenient way to get touch with our friends and ties up every individual closely. Provided that we have a web camera and a computer, we even can see the faces of our friends who are far from us by tens of thousands mile. Thus, although there is a long distance between my friends and us, we even make the face-to-face talking come true.

Aside from technology of communication, the relationship of true friends also plays a pivotal role in overcoming loss of old friends. “A hedge between keeps friends green.” is like a meme passed from generation to generation in my country. By that I mean if there is a true friendship between you and your old friend, the moving to a new city or a new country will not stop your friendship.
Given more different information you can get when you live in different area, in the contrast, it will good for you get more advances no matter in your friendship or in personal career, because it generate more and better opportunities of individual rising.

Granted, the distance in this day and age is no longer as a limitation of friendship, but I admit that moving to a new city or a new country really can reduce the contact between friends. Take my experience for example, Xiao Liang, the closest friend of mine, went to Simon Business School for study in American (the business school of University of Rochester) after we graduated from high school. Because of the time difference and the pressure of each academic study, we can’t get in touch with each other as frequent as the time of high school. So the conflict of true friends has gone away, the happy time also gone away. That’s a really bad thing for us. However the true friendship still there and when we both have leisure we also have a talking in the internet.


Saying in here, we can naturally draw the conclusion that the modern technology and the true friendship weaken the influence of distance in keeping a relationship of a couple of friend, but the moving to a new city or a new country indeed reduce the frequency of the contact of a couple of friend. So, we couldn’t say that moving a new area will make us lose old friends.



第一次独立写作 本人基础差 脸皮不算厚 但是还是希望不理情面的大家狠批~~~谢谢各位了

这是附件  要是看着累眼睛就看附件吧
move new city 和 keep friend 啥关系.doc (14.26 KB, 下载次数: 6)

2011-1-3 10:13:10 上传

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STOOIBT1UID: 2921281

这么多人看 否没人帮个忙~~~ 哎~~ 自己顶吧

generalidUID: 2824377

加油

STOOIBT1UID: 2921281

谢谢 “红旗能抗多久”  看完后相当受教  我在改改着

STOOIBT1UID: 2921281

能留个qq么~~ 呵呵 多麻烦了~~

generalidUID: 2824377

QQ不方便
你发我邮箱吧， ye_yingyuan@hotmail.com，我应该有时间帮你改改作文的

冬咚宝UID: 2956480

方便也帮我改改不？我22号就要考了，谢谢

冬咚宝UID: 2956480

Some people think that moving to a new city or a new country is a bad thing, because of the losing of old friends. It may be true that in the past, friends cannot talk with each other face to face, each person place him or herself into different unfamiliar /strange situation and the poor undeveloped technology of communication create a huge gap between different people in different area(个人认为可以删掉). Apparently, it is an exaggeration to say this in present age.It is an exaggerate saying in this modern age.Or even if it does, that only happens to those people who are too lazy to take up telephone and make a phone call towith their friends.
, `* d) ]7 _& s* b: ~5 x, o
5 K' R- _9 d$ QWith the proliferationexpanding applicationof the internet and phones (including telephone and mobile phone), the immense world is shrinking into a tiny village at an amazing pace. The distance is no longer a strong enemy barrier of losing touch with old friends. Each kind of modern telecommunication equipment such as MSN, FaceBook based on internet and smart cell phone--a kind of mobile phone brings us a convenient way to get touch with our friends and ties up every individual our friendships closely. Provided that we have a web camera and a computer, we even can see the faces of our friends who are far from us by tens of thousands mile.miles Thus, although there is a long distance between my friends and us,(个人认为可删掉) we even make the face-to-face talking come true.1 ewe can also make a face-to-face conversation./ ~. y* p) |& B  i- c
Aside from technology of communication, the relationship of true friends also plays a pivotal role in on overcoming loss of old friends. “A hedge between keeps friends green.”The folk saying is like a meme passed from generation to generation in my country. By that I mean if there is a true friendship between you and your old friend, the moving to a new city or a new country will not stop your friendship.be a block in front of your friendship.

Given more different information you can get when you live in different area, in the contrast, it will good for you to get more advances no matter in your friendship or in your personal career, because it generate will provide more and better opportunities for individual growing.5 z- o9 m, }" k5 [
Granted, the distance in this day and age is no longer as a limitation of friendship, but I admit that moving to a new city or a new country really can reduce the contact between friends. Take my experience for example, Xiao Liang, the closest friend of mine, went to Simon Business School for study in American (the business school of University of Rochester) after we graduated from high school. Because of the time difference and the pressure of each academic study, we can’t get in touch with each other as frequentfrequently as the time of high schoolbefore So the conflict of true friends has gone away, the happy time also gone away. That’s a really bad thingnews for us. However the true friendship still thereexist and when we both have leisure are both free we also have a talking in the internet.9 M9 A$ M0 c* P% t, J$ b
( N- W9 ^% X+ N$ N& d

  B: p- d) l9 j; V& n3 u# cSaying in here, we can naturally draw the conclusion that the modern technology and the true friendship weaken the influence of distance in keeping a relationship of a couple of friend, Thanks to the modern technology and the sincere friendships, we can reduce the influence of the distance problem cast on our mutual connection, but the moving to a new city or a new country indeed reduce the frequency of the contact of a couple of friend. So, we couldn’t say that moving a new area will make us lose old friends.
% S& @1 m# M6 `# @; d, p

冬咚宝UID: 2956480

有一些可能是个人语言习惯的不同吧，你看看就可以了，不一定是你说的不对

STOOIBT1UID: 2921281

又写了一篇~~
tvs and movies 是不是要总反应好人被奖励  坏人被惩罚

Currently, the issue that whether or not the movies and televisions should always show audience good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished cause increasingly grave concerns due to the driving up of crime rate. It seems that society need security and stability, hence the movies and televisions as the mainstream of media are supposed to guide the audience the positive direction, alleviate the society negative effect and give citizens motivation to rise themselves. Given that, however, the movies and television programs as a kind of art, I don’t agree with the idea partly. I think we should treat this issue dividedly.


In some operas and movies which aim towards adult, such as “Band of Brothers”, and some television programs which aim at reflecting the reality, such as news, should not stringently be in accordance with this limitation. Take news programs for example: if we are going to know “have the economy pulled out of the recession of Subprime Crisis?” we need televisions; If we are going to know “do the North Korea and South Korea still keep the peace?” we need televisions; If we are even going to know “whether or not Arnold Schwarzenegger have gone back to Hollywood after he is relieved of he's California office?” we also need television. This kind of program is an important vehicle for passing and expressing the truth of our living circumstance. If these programs always show audience the good are being rewarded and the bad are being punished, it will be hard to avoid passing poor information to citizens. In reality, Many Americans murmur at that they have been poorly-informed, uninformed or misinformed about the war in Iraq. So, in this view, movies and televisions should not always show the audience according with the rule.

Apart from above reason, this kind of programs does not have to show the audience the good are being reward and the bad are being punished. As a adult who has passed the time of formative years, every adult have formed a series of mechanism in order to administrate him or herself, such as self-discipline and the rule of being a man and making friends. The negative event and story cannot pose a threat to form their value. What’s more, as a kind of art, the movies and televisions shouldn’t be added some discipline intensely. If we do like this, the recession of art will ensue and it must stifle artists’ creativity.

For the sake of the children’s physical, in contrast, the movies and televisions, e.g. “Shark 2”, “The Sesame Street”, etc., are supposed to be in line with the claim. People before or in formative years don’t have a sound mechanism to control themselves. So, the parents, teachers and especially the media need to instill the high moral value to ensure a well-being physical promotion. In this point, we need require the producer and director are in line with this limitation when they make a program.

Therefore, we are supposed to treat dividedly in this issue. Whether the movies and televisions should always show the audience the good people are being reward and the bad people are being punished or not? I think the answer is “The adults, Yes; the adolescent, No; the reality program, Yes; the fictive opera, No.”

tvs or movies 改不改总是反应好人好得 坏人坏得.doc (16.1 KB, 下载次数: 0)

2011-1-4 23:34:32 上传

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STOOIBT1UID: 2921281

谢谢 红旗 谢谢 冬咚宝  帮我改作文
小弟感激不尽

generalidUID: 2824377

看得出来，你很用心得写了550个字，应该写了2个小时吧，里面用很多详实的论据和高级的词汇，赞一个

但是这篇文章的逻辑和结构比 搬家vs老朋友 要逊色很多，我批狠了点，别介意

以后不要写treat the issue dividedly, 这样的文章很难拿高分。

你在这个版块里面搜搜S酱的文章，她的文章写的挺好的

STOOIBT1UID: 2921281

哦 呵呵 好的  我会多加注意的  
还是很谢谢您帮我改作文哈
我不介意狠批  哈哈  越狠越来劲  哈哈

STOOIBT1UID: 2921281

题目 是不是 只有叫会我们一些事关于现实的电影才值得看？

When it comes to which kind of movies is worthwhile to watch, some people may think that the one which can teach us something about real life is worthwhile. It may be true on average, movies as a mainstream of media is a crucial vehicle for expressing culture and information and really do mean a lot to large number of people. But I believe it is too simplistic to say that only movies that can teach us something about real life worth watching. Today I bring out two kinds of movies, although both they cannot teach our something about real life, are also worthwhile to watch.

The Comedies are the first and the most important kind of movie which are worthwhile to watch. With the proliferation of modern technology, the paces of life become increasingly faster. For the sake of our emotional health, we need have some break in some time. And comedies just cater to this demand. It has been commonly accepted that they have the right form, rational price of the flick ticket and appropriate length of time for audience to relax and enjoy the happy time: it will not take very long time, while a tour may take you several days; It will not cost you much money, while a traditional comedy live-show may take you one week salary away. And what is the most invaluable is it maybe will make you laugh almost 90 minutes. Take the most successful comedy moves “Shrek” , which published by dream factory ,for example, the big stocky funny green guy appeal hundreds of thousands people went to cinema, no matter the old or the young, when it published in China. In this view, we can say that no matter “Shrek” or “Shrek 2”, none of them conceal a fact that people, who are inundated in modern society, need a break to rest and need comedies. So, Even though movie itself express, inherit and develop the culture by the most appealing way, it sounds so serious, there are indeed some of movies published purely in order to recreate are worthwhile to watch, and one of them is comedies.

Although comedies are totally enough to confute that only the movies about real life is worthwhile to watch, there is also a kind of movies, which far away from reality—totally fictional, is worthwhile to watch. Consider the series of Harry Porter for example, not only does the film display a fantastic plot to enjoy our emotion, but also illuminate the passion of creative which hide deeply in our mind. In the same breath, the creativity often plays the pivotal of daily work. Not only does the job of art need creativity, but the job of finance, astronomy, geology, pedagogue and even I.T. engineer also need creativity. Don’t say you haven’t known the big prestige of FaceBook. If Mark Zuckerberg has no idea about a social network based on Haward E-mail system, where the FaceBook is? If Mark Zuckerberg has no idea about using a application programming interface for sending and receiving shorts massage on his website, where the prestigious of FaceBook? If Mark Zuckerberg has no creativity, where the novel way of I.T. industry? So, I need to say the creativity is very crucial for development of an industry and society, and the fictional movies will help us to find new idea and enlighten our creativity. Hence, fictional also is worthwhile to watch.

We have seen two kinds of movies are worthwhile to watch from above context. Indeed, there are much more movies that have noting with the real life is worthwhile to watch. So, all in all, the statement that only the movies that can teach us something about real life is worthwhile to watch is too simplistic to make me agree without giving serious thought.

1. 是不是只有反应现实的movies 才值得看.doc (13.66 KB, 下载次数: 3)

2011-1-8 19:47:38 上传

下载次数: 3

STOOIBT1UID: 2921281

希望大家帮助下 使劲批 22就考了