【作文铺子】over

咖啡盐UID: 2973669

87"In any field of inquiry,the beginner is more likely than the expert to make importantdiscoveries."
翻译：在任何领域的研究中，新手更容易比老手做出重要的发现。


偶又来鸟。


尝试使用不平衡观点。认为作者的观点是错的。纠结处主要是第三个分论点，主要针对作者的any field这个限定。不过觉得展开的不够好...

不赞同。
1. 诚然，新手在研究上比起老手来说存在着优势的。创造力，激情，活力，能够激励自己不断的去探索去专研，也更敢于打破常规，这也正是研究所应具备的。比起老手，新手更渴望去证明自己，也需要是人对其价值的肯定以及自我肯定。Exa：23岁的遗传学家Watson与Crick一起发现了DNA的double helix结构.

2. 相较于创造力来说，在科学研究领域中想要做出重大发现，丰富的背景知识和研究经验才是基础。尤其对现在这个科技爆炸的时代，知识的日益加深，学科间的不断细化，致使在不具备一定程度的相关知识的前提下，是没有办法去理解的。

3. 有些特定的领域，新手是很难做出贡献的。商业和考古。






Which one is more possible to make important discoveries, the beginner or the expert? The speaker is prone to choose the later. However, as far as I am concerned, I do not agreewith the speaker to some extent.

After all, there is no doubt that beginners are more likely to do some breakthrough in the process of exploring of their realm. This is attributed to the beginners’ being full of passion, creativity, imagination and other factors. In the case of that they are easier to be close to the truth than experts sometimes. For instance, geneticists Watson is the person who proposed the double helixor spiral staircase structure of the DNA molecule with Crick at the age of 23. Though there were many great geneticists in Watson’s era, yet, why only Watson made this kind of landmark contribution to humanity? First,it is because beginners are curious about anything unknown which will make them dare to try new things while the experts tend to be more conservative. Second, they have strong eager to be famous and establish their place in the realm.

However, though beginner shave such advantages those experts may lack, it does not mean that important discoveries are likely to be made by them. Compared with creativity, the ample basis of background knowledge and experiences of practice is more significant for any inquiries.Especially in our current society, academic disciplines have become increasingly specialized and more and more professionalknowledge is needed for future researches. Under this condition, people will not get any achievements without experience and in-depthviews of their own fields. What’s more, for the reason that such people, called experts, have established a series of integral systems of relational realm and know their field well enough to see through problems. Thus, it is experts, who have devoted plenty of their life to comprehend the past while learning from the present and improving the future, are possible to make great discoveries, rather than beginners.

Moreover, in some special field, it is hard for beginners to make great contributions independently and quickly. In the realm of business, there is no possibility for businessmen to achieve successes without experiencing hardships because of various uncertainties in the market. In addition, interpersonal relationships and renown have irreplaceable places in this special field which require a person to spend a long period of times to cumulate. Thus, as a freshman of this field cannot make the same programs as expert. Likewise, Archaeology is somewhat uninteresting and requires a person with sufferance. I would like to take the research of hieroglyph as an example.  First, it needs archaeologists who want to do some contributions in this field have an exhaustive comprehension about the history of Egypt because hieroglyph originated from ancient Egypt. Second, it also requires such archaeologists to have very professional archaeological experiences which need to be tested by the time. Only by merging these two factors can a personbe likely to do some great breakthrough.

Jumping from all the factors mentioned above, it is apparent to conclude that though beginners have passion and are unfearing to try new things, such important discoveries relies on the experience andin-depth views as much as possible. In this case, experts are more probable than the beginners to make important discoveries.

vavachelseaUID: 2793851

看了前面的习作，发现自己真是ma da ma da de su ne

布丁的爱恋UID: 2769395

37# 布丁的爱恋
蓝色：逻辑结构  绿色：我的建议 紫色：评注 红色：有问题的地方

ISSUE8 - "It is often necessary, even desirable, for political leaders to withhold information from the public."
这个题 ...
紫陌纤尘o0 发表于 2011-1-28 23:08

谢谢紫陌~
1、我后来反复看了开头，确实感觉有些问题。。我到现在为止都感觉开头有些难把握，有些人喜欢一开头就把题目反问一番should....，然后说some people think....； however, I think....虽然说这样开头很简单，但确实太模板化了。。我不想用。。可是不用的话又很难把握开头。。。看来引子也很重要丫~我想问下紫陌有什么好方法米有~
以下是我修改后的开头~

Whether withholding information from the public and what kind of information is to be withheld are two crucial questions political leaders have to take into account. Sometimes withholding information is required while sometimes political leaders are supposed to reveal some basic information.

2.关于偷换概念，我确实没考虑好~再想想该怎么换种说法表达~

再次万分感谢紫陌~

SpriteTCUID: 2765113

51# 布丁的爱恋

“Whether withholding information from the public and what kind of information is to be withheld are two crucial questions political leaders have to take into account. Sometimes withholding information is required while sometimes political leaders are supposed to reveal some basic information. ”

句子有点长，断一下~:)

Whether withholding information from the public is understandable depends on what kind of information it is. Sometimes withholding information is required, while sometimes political leaders are supposed to reveal some basic information.

wowoyuweiweiUID: 2754055

44# 紫陌纤尘o0
我今天好好想了想，想明白了不少。谢谢！
对于第一个问题，我当时主要想问的是关于第二种情况。现在基本弄清楚了。但是还有一点不清楚
还是以你说的第二种为例。
我现在共找到了六个逻辑错误，
3个是论据---》假设
3个是假设---》结论
我主体段就三个，
那我是应该只攻击论据--》假设的三点
还是3个假设---》结论？
还是1+2或者2+1？
谢谢

紫陌纤尘o0UID: 2745492

Whether withholding information from the public and what kind of information is to be withheld are two crucial questions political leaders have to take into account. Sometimes withholding information is required while sometimes political leaders are supposed to reveal some basic information.

1.这个开头还算可以，倒是我觉得你可以写下这个sometimes的评判标准，比如说，是否应该公开取决于这信息对国家整体利益的影响。模板还是不要用，开头就两点，正面回应题目观点，明确提出你的主旨，这就够了。

2.偷换概念那个是个题目理解的问题，leader对公众掩饰的其实包括但肯定不主要是他们自己所做的事情，这个题目还是基于一些国家重大决策方面，就像你例子中提到的原子弹神马的。你这里还是有点不太清楚。

51# 布丁的爱恋

紫陌纤尘o0UID: 2745492

53# wowoyuweiwei

我现在共找到了六个逻辑错误，
3个是论据---》假设
3个是假设---》结论
我主体段就三个，
那我是应该只攻击论据--》假设的三点
还是3个假设---》结论？
还是1+2或者2+1？

你还是没太搞明白，攻击什么取决于你分析后什么地方能从根本上推翻题目的论述。
这个并不是说你要根据形式，哪个环节就必须攻击，哪个环节就不攻击。
我给你提出的两种模式也是我自己分析了那200+题目想的，自己适用的，千万不要当做什么固定套路。
关键还是搞清楚题目的逻辑。

wowoyuweiweiUID: 2754055

55# 紫陌纤尘o0
好，谢谢啦

lostmjUID: 2922171

祝大家新年快乐！
楼主辛苦了。看了前面的感觉收获很大啊！
这个是我的第一篇Issue，还望楼主及各位路过的指导。

The issue tells us that we could get much information about the society's ideas and values through observing the appearance and behavior of its people, which is just the same as observing the way people look, dress, and act which reveals their attitudes and interests. I partly agree with the author with the reasons that our eyes could give us the basic information about the people, and then recognize the society from who live in with our experience. But the further information asks for further contact.

What can our eyes give us? We may get the messages from the people's clothes, his look and his action. Namely, we could get to know a man is most likely an actor who wears the ancient clothes. He may be so exciting when the movie develop to a climax, upon which we can conclude that he loves his career. What's more, the action may reflect the people more. For example, the people who saw a thief who was picking a pocket may stand up and stop it, which reflects that the man is a kindhearted man and he couldn't bear any evil things happened in his sight, As I am concerned, I have take part in a meeting which would decide which one should be accepted to our lab. We just judge from their reflection to the circuits we made. Then we know who has great interest to the circuits. Similarly, some employers make their decision through what the people say and what the people act to their questions.

However, our eyes could not give us enough information about the inner heart of a people. Just uses the example I have stated, there still exists some employees pretend they have many skills, while, in fact, they just know it but are not familiar. The employer should shoulder the responsibility for choosing a man below the standard. We may also make false judgment with our emotion, which is the so-called prejudice. Such as many people may not trust the Chinese people for they have so many so-called "facilities". But most people are kind-hearted. The people in the US may just use their own value to value the others. Only the time tells us the truth. Many things may not be true especially in a complex society.

In order to spread the risk of drawing an incorrect conclusion, the company may send a man with abundant experience. They have met so many people and know how to judge what is true and who is pretending. So the employer may ask your own feelings about the job and judge from his own. In order to make sure, many companies set a time called the test period, they may observe the man's real ability and talk with him to get into his inner heart. Just as the old saying goes, you can't judge a horse until it runs and you can't judge the dog until you live with him. So many social scientists, who want to know deeply about a society, may live with them and eat their foods, talk with them and read their books.  

In sum, if we want to judge a person or a society clearly, we should conclude not only through what we see but also what we look into with all kinds of methods. However, sometimes we needn't know much, we can easily judge from what we see, but remember that may not be true.
自己总结：文章构思很慢，不知I的是否可以用模板？
还有就是例子的选取不是很充分，由于本人单词量较小，背的东西也比较少，所以....
最后就是我在写作文的时候，会出现很多该打空格的地方，没打空格，不该打的地方反而打了，这个影不影响?

http://61.dc.ftn.qq.com/ftn_hand ... 2472f7f7576015c2162

evelyn1207UID: 2916993

1# 紫陌纤尘o0

issue 130  How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.


I find both of the speaker’s statements are specious. I don’t quite agree that the destiny of the society depends on how children socialized. The claim that many people don’t know how to raise their children who can help bring about a better society is open to doubt if we cast a look back to the progress of our society in the past century.

First, I agree that how children socialized could have a great influence on the destiny of society. Socialization means the process of learning one’s culture and how to live within it. For the individual it provides the skills and habits necessary for acting and participating within their society. In childhood, children should learn how to write, read and communicate with others so that they know more about the society in the future. When a man has knowledge and skills, it is more likely that he wouldn’t starve in the society. We may find the importance of socialization in the clubs filled with many children. When children go to clubs for their interests and desire to improve one skill, such as playing the piano, drawing and dancing, they know other children and make friends with them. In this process, they not only can enjoy the fun of learning more about one skill but also learn to cooperate, negotiate, compete and communicate with others. These experiences of taking part in clubs help children grow up to be an effective and creative leader, as well as the tolerant one in the future.
However, I don’t agree that how children socialized could determine rather than only influence the destiny of the society. Since there are many factors which can influence the destiny of the society it is presumptuous to claim that how children socialized determine the destiny of society. As we all know, the internal and external factors which could influence the process of a matter. How children socialized is just the internal factors that could influence the destiny of the society. Whether our world is in war or in peace, whether human being could apply technology in aspect that is beneficial to human rather than harmful and whether the society has an atmosphere of creativity and so on could influence the destiny of our society.
Thirdly, the assertion that people have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society is open to doubt. Parents are the first teachers in children’s life so what parents’ lifestyle is could influence children’s characteristics. For example, George Walker Bush and his father are both the presidents of the United State. George Walker Bush fought a war with Iraq in 2003 in the name of against the terrorism and his father launched the Gulf War in 1991. Their story suggests that if a man was born in a success’s family, he is more likely to follow his parents’ steps to achieve his goal and become a famous leader in his life. In addition, many celebrities share their experience in the media and books, many parents could find the way in which how they foster their children to be a better man. Granted that just few people become celebrities in the history which results from the nurture of their parents, the journey of the progress of the society in the past century demonstrates that people have known how to build a “better” society.
In conclusion, when faced with the destiny of the society, there are many other factors that could influence it besides the socialization of children. Although some argument that many lay people don’t become celebrities and reach the peak of the academic area or business seems to support the speaker’s view, the process of the society could fight against the statement that people don’t know how to raise their children who can bring about a better society.

第二次写issue，2月16日考试
写得不好，但是希望能够得到楼主指点
写这篇文章之前看了优酷上关于这道题的讲解视频，很有启发。写的时候感觉是句子比较单一，没有什么例子可以用
知道很多东西可以写，但是很那串起来。
具体问题有：socialization的定义我应该怎么写到文章中去呢？destiny of society什么时候解释他的含义比较好呢？
这次看了老美的范文然后自己修改了一次，感觉有点启发，修改后可能模板痕迹比较严重。
盼望得到楼主指点。楼主辛苦了，过年还给大家批改作文~~~~(>_<)~~~~

kennyqunUID: 2898660

考试时间3/7

这是我严格意义上第一篇一休，写的时候很不流畅，改的时候也绞尽脑汁，困难主要在于对题目的critical thinking的把握上。
比如何谓great nation's achievements 又比如general welfare的表现形式等等
我把文章的重点放在了为什么不是rulers，artists, scientists的分析上，没有更好地将笔墨花在general welfare本身，就好像是把高楼造在湿地上，总觉得心惊胆战。
但是还是想把文章贴出来请楼主审阅，写得不好的地方，望指正。
非常感谢！！！



TOPIC: ISSUE170 - "The surest indicator of a great nation is not the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but the general welfare of all its people."





We use GNP to scale how people live in one nation, according to CPI we know the situation of one country's people. Both of these are what we believe that can present the indicator of a great nation. In fact, they are the surest indicator. Because they just give us a vivid illustration of a nation's reality. I totally agree with that. Whatkind of welfare people can achieve is the surest indicator of a great nation.


What is the definition of a great nation? Does that mean a country with a crucial economics status in Wall street? A powerful military background? Or a prove effective on the international stage? Some people may argue that rulers, artists, or scientist are the most important compenents in one nation
and what they achieved are the most powerful symbols of one country. Rulers, who run the country as a machine, can ensure all the things in one nation is under control, including homicide or robbery. One ancient Chinese jurist said two thousand years ago that law is made for government to command people, not to protect people. Nowadays the function of law transformed a lot. The fathers of the United States signed their names on the Declaration of Independence two hundred years ago with a wonderful ambition of pursuing happiness and sharing equality. Doctor King's desire was been realized by President Obama for being the first African American president in the history of the United States. Law and other regulations now are made for protect the most of peopel in the country.

Also the same example is artists, who express themselves in their works, provide us a unique world of their own in a unspeakable way. Rodin's famous adapt "what we lack is not beauty, but the eyes to find beauty" is a appropriate demonstration of himself. In his art life, he created so many creditable sculptures with simple materials and left us huge amount of art fortune. Even today, we still can touch his heart by gazing the eyes of his work--The David. So culture can be seen, heard, or touched by common people now. Another similar case is scientists, who found the secrets of the nature, provide us a faster way to reach a higher point of life. Techenology offer human being a much more convenient way to obtain a better life standord. The day Edison invented bulb might never thought that one day all the people in this blue planet would use his invention to enlighten their rooms even their lives. So did Jobs set up his Apple kingdom several years ago. Today, ipod, iphone, ipad, imac invade into our daily life by a wherever and whenever way. They are not simply designed for commercial or amusement, but brought out to upen our spiritual level, to paint our world from black and white to chromatic and dazzling.



Basically, these three kinds of job, or fields, are the best pictures of one nation's image. Notwithstanding, people's general welfare are the ultimate aim of all the fields. The purest indicator of one nation is not decided by all those above, but by the general welfare of all its people. Rulers, artists, scientists—politics, culture, techenology—are fighting for a better future for people's better life. What they did or what they are doing or what they are going to do is all about the how to get a more brilliant status for most of people in one nation. By these kinds of means, we are easy to draw the conclusion that whatever the nation changes, its best name card always is what the people are treated.



In sum, as long as we understand that rule, we could find the authentic meaning of the achievements of one nation. It is not given by those who devoted themselves to this country, it is indicated by the general welfare of all its people.

谦虚的小公鸡UID: 2961678

作文铺子over了？
喔喔，虐待动物
我的还没改呢

小冥王UID: 2922698

TOPIC: ARGUMENT5 - The following appeared in the business section of a newspaper.

"Given that the number of people in our country with some form of arthritis is expected to rise from 40 million to 60 million over the next twenty years, pharmaceutical companies that produce drugs for the treatment of arthritis should be very profitable. Many analysts believe that in ten years Becton Pharmaceuticals, which makes Xenon, the best-selling drug treatment for arthritis, will be the most profitable pharmaceutical company. But the patent on Xenon expires in three years, and other companies will then be able to produce a cheaper version of the drug. Thus, it is more likely that in ten years the most profitable pharmaceutical company will be Perkins Pharmaceuticals, maker of a new drug called Xylan, which clinical studies show is preferred over Xenon by seven out of ten patients suffering from the most extreme cases of arthritis."

The writer asserts that the Perking Pharmaceuticals (PP) would be the most profitable company in the ten years. As the increasing patients with some form of arthritis in the future, the prospect of pharmaceutics is cheerful. Besides, with the patent of Xenon will be expires, Becton Pharmaceutical will no longer occupy the leading place in the pharmaceutical industry. What is more, the clinical study has indicated that the patients with extreme cases of arthritis are inclined to use Xylan. However, the conclusion that PP will make much money in coming years may mask the conditions (and probably the most significant facts) which benefit the drug makers and ignore some concealed details.


First of all, the rise of arthritis patients in the next twenty years will bring the pharmaceutical companies great profit. In fact, whether the company would make money should consider more. For example, as the development of economic, the price of drugs for arthritis is too high for them to afford, so they would not intend to buy medicine. What is more, other means of therapy is available for them to opt, such as diet therapy or surgery. As a result, the conclusion that pharmaceutical will earn much money cannot be drawn due to the increasing number of patients.  
Second, the patent of Xenon will be expires in three years, and other cheaper drugs will replace it, so the Becton Pharmaceuticals (BP) would lose the advantage in selling medicine. Nevertheless, we should take the brand’s influences into consider. If patients take this drug for past few years, they would like to choose it going on. In addition, BP may invest in exploiting some new medicine. In this case, the argument commits the logical fallacy of opine BP as the only opponent.
The statistics state that seven in ten of those patients with the most extreme cases of arthritis take Xylan instead of Xenon, so PP would get the most part of profit in the future in the pharmaceutical industry. Nonetheless most of the patients are not the cases with extreme arthritis, even though Xylan has better effects on such kinds of arthritis, the sales volume would not add. What is more, the production costs should take into account. If the costs rise, even if the sales volume increased, PP may earn less money than before. In a word, it cannot be reach the conclusion what the writer have claimed.
To sum, the conclusion that Perking Pharmaceuticals would get the most profitable in the future is made with lacking in proper consideration and some details. Therefore it would be more compelling if those evidences mentioned above could be taken into account.


PS~紫陌，最近在上新东方，有点忙的说，而且上网比较不方便~这是第一篇argument，你有空给看看么~有模版的嫌疑啦~