蝶的作文帖

蝶飞依依UID：2905269

小蝶初来乍到，还请各位前辈多多指教
2月12日就考了，贴上自己写的作文，水平不高，跪求批改~~~

蝶飞依依UID：2905269

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the only cause of unhealthy eating habits.

Advertising, as we all know, is a kind of method in commercial that have a well-designed and deep impression to people. It attracts everyone to do what it conducts. However, that is not to say that unhealthy eating habits are all result from advertising. Advertising is just one of causes of unhealthy eating habits, but not the whole thing.

Admittedly, unhealthy eating habits are partly because of the effect of advertising. Take KFC as an example. When people enter into KFC, with the beautiful decorates, the sweet smell and the fabulous music, no one could refuse to eat less fried chickens and hamburgers considering their health. Of course, the slogan” We do chicken right” is the most attractive advertisement for people to come here again and again. That is the force of Advertising and it makes people to eat junk foods, with another word, eating in an unhealthy way.
As far as I am concerned, another reason leading to unhealthy eating habits is heavy work load. The breadwinners have to devote themselves into the work to satisfy the demand of the competition in their job. And that may keep them from regular eating habits. To get to their work place at 9 o’clock on time, they may give up their breakfast when they are too tired to get up. To catch up the deadline of the project, they may skip their lunch or just have a burger to fill up their stomach. To prepare a presentation for tomorrow, some will keep working in their office without supper. That is an extremely hypothesis busy day. But a great numbers of people indeed do not have a proper meal because of heavy work load.



The third reason causing unhealthy eating habits is the good taste of unhealthy food. Look at those food sold at KFC. Commonly, fried chicken wings are spicy and crisp to eat. That is a delicious taste to people, especially to children. And that is why fast food is so popular among teenagers. So I concede the fast food taste is a reason that unhealthy food is accepted widely by people.


All in all, unhealthy eating habits are caused by lots of reasons, such as advertising, heavy work load, and the delicious taste of unhealthy food. But, advertising is not the only thing makes it.

蝶飞依依UID：2905269

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing sports teach us lessons about life.

With an increasing number of people fascinated in different kinds of sports, sports give them a great way to keep fit. It is not only a way to keep in healthy, I suggest, but also a key to learn about life.

Firstly, playing sports teaches us about cooperating. Considering the sports just like football and basketball. Not a single person can win the game. It is a matter about the whole team. Football players, for instance, should take the responsibilities of the whole team. Some one do attack, some defense, while some are center forwards. They do their own duty and work together to make sure that the whole team is perfect. Only a few team members are excellent is not enough, while a personal fault may cause a whole team’s faliure. So everyone in the team should learn about the teamwork, in another word, the cooperating.

Secondly, another lesson through sports is perseverance. To some extent, almost every athlete need to be trained every day. How can they keep holding on with those boring training? The answer, I believe, is their persistence. Noting could motivate them to do the same thing again and again but perseverance. Without perseverance, how could them face to the difficulties and obstacles they are encountered? No pains, no gains. They should learn to keep on it and never give up in the whole process so that they could finally get succeed. The same to those who want to go on diet by playing sports. They need to do the exercise schedule day after day. If some day they That’s what we say about perseverance.

Last but not the least is about competition. Everyone wants to be the champion. Not only in the world of sports, but also in the real world, this is a reality. Sportsman get to practice their skills and compete with each other to be the winner. It is a kind of significant spirit in one’s life. The competition is crucial and to be success or not is unknown. However, that doesn’t means the weaker might quit the game. Failure would be an important experience and a brand new practice in the competition. In the next time, they may have more practical skills and better psychological state to play the game. With this kind of practice again and again, the weaker would become the stronger if he always keeps himself in the competition. In other words, attending competition is more vital than the failure.


As all in above, playing sports give us lessons about life, not only about keeping healthy. So started from now on, everyone come together to enjoy sports we like and enjoy our life.

adj-remyUID：2974851

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing sports teach us lessons about life.

With an increasing number of people fascinated in different kinds of sports, sports give them a great way to keep fit. It is not only a way to keep in healthy, I suggest, but also a key to learn about life.
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Firstly, playing sports teach us about cooperating. Considering the sports just like football and basketball. Not a single person can win the game. It is a matter about the whole team. Football players, for instance( Take football players for an instance会不会好点？）, should take the responsibilities of the whole team. Some one do attack, some defense, while some are center forwards. They do their own duty and work together to make sure that the whole team is perfect. Only a few team members are excellent is not enough, while a personal fault may cause a whole team’s faliure. So everyone in the team should learn about the teamwork, in another word, the cooperating. - o: f% n1 I$ J) }
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Secondly, another lesson through sports is perseverance. To some extent, almost every athlete needs to be trained every day. How can they keep holding on with those boring training? The answer, I believe, is their persistence. Noting could motivate them to do the same thing again and again but perseverance. Without perseverance, how could them face to the difficulties and obstacles they are encountered? No pains, no gains..这个就不要用了吧。。。太古老了。。。. They should learn to keep on it and never give up in the whole process so that they could finally get succeed. The same to those who want to go on diet by playing sports. They need to do the exercise schedule day after day. If some day they That’s what we say about perseverance.没看懂这一句是什么意思

Last but not the least不要用这个烂大街搭配 is about competition. Everyone wants to be the champion. Not only in the world of sports, but also in the real world sports就不算real 了？虚拟的？, this is a reality. Sportsmen get to practice their skills and compete with each other to be the winners. It is a kind of significant spirit in one’s life. The competition is crucial and to be success or not is unknown. However, that doesn’t means the weaker might quit the game. Failure would be an important experience and a brand new practice in the competition. In the next time, they may have more practical skills and better psychological state to play the game. With this kind of practice again and again, the weaker would become the stronger if he女生表示鸭梨很大 always keeps himself in the competition. In other words, attending competition is more vital than the failure.
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As all in above, playing sports give us lessons about life, not only about keeping healthy. So started from now on, everyone come together to enjoy sports we like and enjoy our life.全文论述其实都还可以，不过开头和结尾相对而言弱了些，建议开头加个背景。如有改的不当的地方请原谅

蝶飞依依UID：2905269

4# adj-remy 嗯 谢谢哈~注意改进~

蝶飞依依UID：2905269

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Some scientists are responsible for the negative impacts that made by their discoveries

With the rapid pace of the information age, an increasing number of discoveries and inventions are coming out. They improve the quanlities of our life, while at the same time the negative impacts come along with them. To some extent, I have to admit that scientists are responsible for the negative impacts that made by their discoveries.

Admittedly, none of the scientists want to bring the terrible effects along with their discoveris. I consider the reason that they do researches is to benefit the whole world. At the first time, the discoveries are fresh and fantastic. Take plastic as an example. When the first time plastic was synthsised and manufactured, people considered it a useful material in everyday life. However, after so many years produced and used plastic-made articles, there is a severe pollution brought out by those widely used things, for that plastic is so hard to break down in the procedure of processing rubbish and the plastic things are throught away carelessly without being sorted. Gradually, plastic pollution brings about a big problem to be solved to the scientists. In this way, how could we say that it is all the responsibilities of the scientists who discover it? Yet the truth is that scientists should take the responsibilities to solve this problems.

As we can sort the negative impacts with the time, I bring it into two parts: the long-run impact and the short-run impact. For the long-run impacts, whose effect could be seen for decades after the discover comes out, it must have not been the fault of the scientists. Some negative impacts comes out because of the abuse of the discoveries. In this case, scientists do not necessarily to be blamed. Their responsibilities is to make the usage in a positive way using their researches. For those short-run impacts, I have to say that, scientists had to take the whole responsibility for the negetive impacts. Some unpredictable essentials might not be considered carefully by the scientists. They should study the impacts and give responses to the effects.

In summary, scientists are responsible to the negative impacts that made by their discoveries.

蝶飞依依UID：2905269

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to spend money on travelling and vocation than to save money for future?

With the rapid pace of today’s information age, an increasing boom of economics make us have more money to improve our life. Some people argue that it is better to save money for future for the sake of unpredictable events. Some other people hold the opposite ideas that it is better to spend money on travelling and vocation. As for me, I am preferable to the latter one, considering the realistic life we have today.

Admittedly, save money for future have one or two advantages. First, we need some money to keep us safe in the future. No one have the abilities to predict tomorrow and it is hard to say that there is no accident the day after tomorrow. What if there is a car accident happened or a heart disease account for money? Second, money can be used to improve the quanlities of our daily lifes. Over ten years past, our houses are becoming crowded and our knowledge become not enough. We need a large sum of money to change houses and gain knowledges and skills in school as well. In this case, saving money is a necesity. Yet it is still worth to go on a travel than save the cost for tomorrow. Consider two reasons as follow.

To spend money on travelling and vocation is a beneficial way to our health. Heavy work load and stressful study pressure lead us to an exhausted life style. In a long run of stressful life, it is not good to our physical health, even our psychological health. A break to travelling or vocation must have been a good choice to release our stress and twisted things, and totally give our body a break. It is worth to go around and see the picturesque senery, feel the subtle breeze, and embrace the sunshine. No matter how hard the work and study is, we can totally forget those unpleasant things and breathe in the fresh air out of the office and classroom. After a fantastic travelling and vocation, we are in a brand new state to keep going on the life.

Moreover, to spend money on travelling and vocation can broaden our horizons. Travelling at home is fairly saving money and we could know more about our cultural history when we have a talk with the native residents. Meanwhile, Travelling abroad give us more chance to access to the different culture and have a brand new view of foreign country compared with hometown. When getting to know the different, we can come up with the flaw and improve the advantages. Only in this way can we doing better and better.

To sum up, spending money on travelling and vocation is better than saving money for future. We benefit our health and knowledge through travelling, which is more important to us in the future.

卡束斯UID：2836974

你写的题目是不是不对呀

卡束斯UID：2836974

With the rapid pace of today’s information age, an increasing boom of economics make us have more money to improve our life quality. Some people argue that it is better to save money for future for the sake of unpredictable events. Some other (people) hold the opposite ideas that it is better to spend money on travelling and vocation. As for me, I am preferable (prefer) to the latter one, considering the realistic life we have today. * p1 Q4 S5 t& q  m7 w6 T
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Admittedly, save money for future have one or two advantages. First, we need some money to keep us safe in the future.( to back up and secure our life in the future .)No one have the abilities to predict tomorrow and it is hard to say that there is no accident the day after tomorrow. What if there is a car accident happened or a heart disease account for money? （Life is full of surprises and we need to make plans to minimize the risks. We may need  spare budget for the medical care or unpredictable unemployment. ）Second, money can be used to improve the quanlities of our daily lifes. Over ten years past, our houses are becoming crowded and our knowledge become not enough.(Life creates all kind of needs.) We need a large sum of money to change houses and gain knowledges and skills in school as well. In this case, saving money is a necesity. Yet it is still worth to go on a travel than save the cost for tomorrow. Consider two reasons as follow.# n4 @6 f! D  k# w
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To spend money on travelling and vocation is a beneficial way to our health. Heavy work load and stressful study pressure lead us to an exhausted life style. In a long run of stressful life, it is not good to our physical health, even our psychological health. A break to travelling or vocation must have been a good choice to release our stress and twisted things, and totally give our body a break. It is worth to go around and see the picturesque senery, feel the subtle breeze, and embrace the sunshine. No matter how hard the work and study is, we can totally forget those unpleasant things and breathe in the fresh air out of the office and classroom. After a fantastic travelling and vocation, we are in a brand new state to keep going on the life. 6 n2 w  L/ `. i( y. Y7 P

Moreover, to spend money on travelling and vocation can broaden our horizons. Travelling at home is fairly saving money and we could know more about our cultural history when we have a talk with the native residents. Meanwhile, Travelling abroad give us more chance to access to the different culture and have a brand new view of foreign country compared with hometown. When getting to know the different, we can come up with the flaw and improve the advantages. Only in this way can we doing better and better.

To sum up, spending money on travelling and vocation is better than saving money for future. We benefit our health and knowledge through travelling, which is more important to us in the future.


有几个问题 语法错误比较多，表达方式有点幼稚。还有就是之前列举的要省下钱的例子并没有反驳也没有更多的例子说明应该旅游。说服力不强。

蝶飞依依UID：2905269

9# 卡束斯
昨天第一次找到作业贴，把写过的作文就都贴上了，旅游上一篇是前两天的作业，能不能也帮忙改一下。。。。能不能举例一下，应该怎么举例可以比较有说服里的说明省钱旅游更好？谢谢建议哦~~

蝶飞依依UID：2905269

第一次写综合，TPO18,写的时候才发现，听力里很多细节没有记，字数太少了
The passage mentioned about 3 ways to save Torreya taxifoha in the state of Florida. While in the listening material it totally criticized about the mentioned ways in the passage.

For the first place, the author said to reestablish the tree in the same location that is a coolest, dampest areas of the microclimate. However, the professor argued that it is unlikely satisfied. With the global warming and other factors, Florida becomes dryer and it is harder for Torreya to survive.

Second, the writer considered about moving Torreya to an entirely different location to help it return to an environment that is more suitable for survival. In contrast, the professor took another tree as an example to prove that moving north would killed more trees and unpredictable to ensure it would be effective.

Finally, in the reading material,
it offered an option to preserve the tree in research centers. However, the listening material pointed out that it would not be possible for Torreya to continue survival from the diseases in a long term.

蝶飞依依UID：2905269

Do you agree with the following statement? Parents should give school-age children money for getting a high mark they get in the school.

There is a heated topic said that parents should give school-age children money for getting a high mark they get in the school. Some totally agree with it for that children need a sum of money to do for their study. However, in my opinion, it is not so essential to give money to children for getting a high mark.

Admittedly, I concess that money could help children to improve their study in some extent. In fact, children do need to buy some exercise books, stationery, calculator and so forth. Yet these objects do not ensure a child to study well and attain a good mark. What if they used the sum of money in other ways instead of study? What if they used the money in a wrong way to study? It is not money but something else, just as their own physical and psychological characters, must be needed to make school-age children get a high mark. In this way, money do not make the sense.

As for me, what school-age children need most is the hard-working that make the high mark. Consider these years I studied in school. Eveytime before examination, I spent a plenty of time on studying the subject. Practicing the theory and looking through the text book again and again do perfect my score at last. That is my own experience to tell that practice makes perfect. Money here does not take any assistant to improve our study. Even though my parents didn’t give me money to do something, I got a pretty high score at that time.

Moreover, money cannot take place of the influence of one’s characteristics. Take perseverance, the most important character a school-age children should have, as an example. No matter how hard and how boring the study and research is, one should keep on it and never give up. Finally, with one’s hard working and persistence, children might get a high score. What parents actually should do is to encourage their school-age children to study hard and depand on themselves instead of giving children money for high score.

To sum up, I consider it is perseverance and hard-working but not money can help children to get a high mark they get in the school.



TPO1
Nowadays, working five days a week for eight hours each day is a normal way in the States. However, some arises a policy for four-day-working and less salaries. In the reading material and the listening material, there are totally different opionion about that.

In the reading material, the shortened workweek means raising company profits and lessen costly errors. In this way, employees would get more relax and have a better state to work. The company can also hire more staff without paying more salary, for the every employees hove 80 percent of their normal pay than before. At the same time, the professor in the listening material said that it can not benefit the company profit and economical condition. More employees force the company to spend more to provide training calsses, renting office places, and purchasing computers. So it is not good to the profit.

Meanwhile, in the listening material, professor pointed out that some working for 4 days, while some other work for a week may lead to a costly expenses. The employers would just choose those who want to work all over and they will increase their expectations on the same amount work. That is different from the authors said in the reading material that it would decrease the costs.

In the third place, the writer mentioned about the freedom of the workers. To let them work 4 days is to give them more free time to release their working pressure. However, as the professor said in the listening material, freedom means more risk about the worker’s job. There is a reducing of work quanlities and working abilities of a employee. This decreasing results in losing job, to some extent. And that is to say, the company had to pay more on hiring workers who are willing to work five days a week.

a08805436UID：2725634

There is a heated topic said that parents should give school-age children money for getting a high mark they get in the school. Some totally agree with it for that children need a sum of money to do for their study. However, in my opinion, it is not so essential to give money to children for getting a high mark.

Admittedly, I concess (concede) that money could help children to improve their study in some extent. In fact, children do need to buy some exercise books, stationery, calculator and so forth. Yet these objects do not ensure a child to study well and attain a good mark. What if they used the sum of money in other ways instead of study? What if they used the money in a wrong way to study? It is not money but something else, just as their own physical and psychological characters, must be needed to make school-age children get a high mark. In this way, money do not make the sense.

As for me, what school-age children need most is the hard-working that make the high mark. Consider these years I studied in school. Eveytime before examination, I spent a plenty of time on studying the subject. Practicing the theory and looking through the text book again and again do perfect my score at last. That is my own experience to tell that practice makes perfect. Money here does not take any assistant to improve our study. Even though my parents didn’t give me money to do something, I got a pretty high score at that time.

Moreover, money cannot take place of the influence of one’s characteristics. Take perseverance, the most important character a school-age children should have, as an example. No matter how hard and how boring the study and research is, one should keep on it and never give up. Finally, with one’s hard working and persistence, children might get a high score. What parents actually should do is to encourage their school-age children to study hard and depand on themselves instead of giving children money for high score. （建议把这句话作为本段的开头 来表明作者的态度）

To sum up, I consider it is perseverance and hard-working （这两点是孩子自身的特点， 而give money是家长的行为 两者不具备可比性）but not money can help children to get a high mark they get in the school.

很遗憾 虽然你的行文不错 用词也还行 但是这篇文章有跑题的嫌疑
题目问的是：父母是否应该用钱来奖励孩子 这篇文章的论点是：什么是帮助孩子拿到高分的原因

修改建议：结尾改掉 最后一段的首句改掉~

个人意见 仅供参考

蝶飞依依UID：2905269

13# a08805436
我发现了，的确是跑了，可我刚看到这题的时候我怎么也没往给钱是为了awarding这事上去想了。。

hdchangieUID：2402936

Do you agree with the following statement? Parents should give school-age children money for getting a high mark they get in the school., c& |* j& q- s
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There is a heated topic said that parents should give school-age children money for getting a high mark they get in the school. Some totally agree with it for that children need a sum of money to do for their study. However, in my opinion, it is not so essential to give money to children for getting a high mark.) K/ ^2 V3 W9 V2 j* U

# X* p0 s7 ^  J0 j/ e5 qAdmittedly, I concess（confess？） that money could help children to（去掉to） improve their study in some extent.（in some aspects, to some extent） In fact, children do need to (去掉to)buy some exercise books, stationery, calculator and so forth. Yet these objects do not ensure a child to study well and attain a good mark. What if they used the sum of money in other ways instead of study? What if they used the money in a wrong way to study? It is not money but something else, just as their own physical and psychological characters, must be needed to make school-age children get a high mark. In this way, money do not（does not） make the sense.' w) z, p  G1 e2
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As for me, what school-age children need most is the hard-working that makes the high mark. Consider these years I studied in school. Eveytime before examination, I spent a （去掉a）plenty of time on studying the subject. Practicing the theory and looking through the text book again and again to do perfect my score at last. That is my own experience to tell that practice makes perfect. Money here does not take any assistant to improve our study. Even though my parents didn’t give me money to do something, I got a pretty high score at that time.
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  s! X1 T) Y- s6 a2 V2 o- GMoreover, money cannot take place of the influence of one’s characteristics. Take perseverance, the most important character a school-age children should have, as an example. No matter how hard and how boring the study and research is, one should keep on it and never give up. Finally, with one’s hard working and persistence, children might get a high score. What parents actually should do is to encourage their school-age children to study hard and depand（depend） on themselves instead of giving children money for high score. S

6 ^: x3 Y. `, UTo sum up, I consider it is perseverance and hard-working but not money can help children to get a high mark they get in the school.
你的思路跟我写的不太一样，你主要关注点是how to get a high mark这一点上，我过多关注了giving money这一点，我觉得这两者都应该关注到~

注意些小错误尽量不要犯，其他的都不错哈~加油~！# ], `5 s" Z8 y/ k7 p% X1 C. Y