issue 43 求改~~~~~~~

mavismhUID: 2792253

43. To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards.



As my consideration, being an effective leader in a finite term doesn't need the highest ethical and moral standards, but to be an effective leader in a very long term which means the real successful leadership must maintain the higher ethical and moral standards than others.

Besides the ethical and moral standards, the abilities of being a leader directly decide wether he or she can be the leader or not. Such abilities like the ability to make decision, the ability to appeal the public, and even the IQ standards. For example, Hitler, one of the most famous leader in history, who led the most aggressive army at that time. What cannot be denied is that Hitler is a legendary man who had all this abilities as a leader. However, consider the goal of the aggression, and the way they treated prisoners of war, his ethical and moral standards is not as excellent as his leading ability, and he also deserve the condemn of the whole world.

So, in my opinion, the most important part of charisma is the moral standards of the leader, from the perspective of history, only the leader who has the high level of ethical and moral can be remembered by public and then became a truly successful leader. A element which can directly show the level of ethical and moral standards is integrity. Before the election of president of a country, candidates stated their political views and made promises in case they would be elected as the president. After then, in the inaugural address, their passionful speech encouraged their citizens and those promises seem more close to be fulfilled. However, things changed after they install theirselves in many cases. As the original promises shading, credence from the public went further, and for that leader, his power of supporting also got lower and lower. We can see this kind of cases in worldwide, only a few leaders can satisify the public after a long-term administration, they also can be described as effective.

Another advantage of leaders' high ethical and more standards is that it can decrease corruption. None of tax payers wants to see their dollars become personal income of somebody else without any good for them. Once the public know something like that, they would be angry and take actions to get their rights back, and the scandal can easily destroy the credence of gorverment. Corruption also affects the internal of government, cause the chaos of government management and eventually make the historical mistake and the whole country might get a disappointing situation.

In sum, only a leader who maintains the high ethical and moral standards can win the respect of his or her subordinates and opposites, and the leadership can be effective and perimaete, eventually can be remembered by history and learned as a model of leader. This is how I define the success of a leader.

要开始计时写了， 但是对自己还是没有信心。。。。。。 请各位多多指点

mavismhUID: 2792253

拜托啦~~~

咖啡盐UID: 2973669

都是求改，却不去帮别人改，又有谁来改作文呢...如此拜托会有结果么....

mavismhUID: 2792253

3# 咖啡盐 可是连自己都很迷茫 帮别人改也会变成误导吧。。。。

咖啡盐UID: 2973669

issue并没有正确答案呀~~注重的是idea和expression，多想想，多说说，自然思路就来了。看看人家的文，说说自己的意见，每个人都有自己的point~要有信心~去看看别人的，说点自己的意见，留个链接求回拍，别人也不会厚着脸皮不管的，不然就太没素质了...讨论的多了，积极性也就上来了，底气也就足了

咖啡盐UID: 2973669

As my consideration, being an effective leader in a finite term doesn't need the highest ethical and moral standards, but to be an effective leader in a very long term which means the real successful leadership must maintain the higher ethical and moral standards than others. 开头有点平淡，可以加个疑问句或者给effective leader下个定义，再表明自己的point。

So, in my opinion, the most important part of charisma is the moral standards of the leader, from the perspective of history, only the leader who has the high level of ethical and moral can be remembered by public and then became a truly successful leader. A element which can directly show the level of ethical and moral standards is integrity. Before the election of president of a country, candidates stated their political views and made promises in case they would be elected as the president. After then, in the inaugural address, their passionful speech encouraged their citizens and those promises seem more close to be fulfilled. However, things changed after they install theirselves in many cases. As the original promises shading, credence from the public went further, and for that leader, his power of supporting also got lower and lower. We can see this kind of cases in worldwide, only a few leaders can satisify the public after a long-term administration, they also can be described as effective.

Another advantage of leaders' high ethical and more standards is that it can decrease corruption. None of tax payers wants to see their dollars become personal income of somebody else without any good for them. Once the public know something like that, they would be angry and take actions to get their rights back, and the scandal can easily destroy the credence of gorverment. Corruption also affects the internal of government, cause the chaos of government management and eventually make the historical mistake and the whole country might get a disappointing situation.中间展开论证的不好，大概看了下，说的是伦理道德对于领导人的重要性。但是your position却是关于伦理道德对于领导人任期长短的问题，既然position是关于长短任内伦理道德的看法，那么是不是应该从这方面入手呢？为什么任期短伦理道德不是很重要？而任期长了就要注重呢？你没有把握好自己的主题。


besides,这类词开头引导的大多是补充说明，也就是除了之前论证的核心内容外的一个附加，所以大多放在最后一点上，第一个论点就直接besides不是很合理，而且之后的内容看了下，也是和原文主题关系不大的。Besides the ethical and moral standards, the abilities of being a leader directly decide whether he or she can be the leader or not. Such abilities like the ability to make decision, the ability to appeal the public, and even the IQ standards. For example, Hitler, one of the most famous leader in history, who led the most aggressive army at that time. What cannot be denied is that Hitler is a legendary man who had all this abilities as a leader. However, consider the goal of the aggression, and the way they treated prisoners of war, his ethical and moral standards is not as excellent as his leading ability, and he also deserve the condemn of the whole world.

In sum, only a leader who maintains the high ethical and moral standards can win the respect of his or her subordinates and opposites, and the leadership can be effective and perimaete, eventually can be remembered by history and learned as a model of leader. This is how I define the success of a leader.结尾也是说伦理道德对于领导人的重要性上，那么你的观点就应该是说伦理道德对于an effective leader 是很重要的了...

mavismhUID: 2792253

6# 咖啡盐 谢谢咖啡盐，写的时候就感觉立场不坚定，发现写作时间越长越容易对自己原本的观点产生分歧，最后就搞的很乱。。。。

咖啡盐UID: 2973669

多列列提纲，把思路先整理好，这样写出来才有效果。
嗯，加油

lxjloveUID: 2999925

嗯，多烈烈提纲