argument153求狠拍~刻意不按模板写

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此乃鄙人第一篇argument，望大家不吝赐教
153.The following is from an editorial in the Midvale Observer, a local newspaper.

"Ever since the 1950's, when television sets began to appear in the average home, the rate of crimes committed by teenagers in the country of Alta has steadily increased. This increase in teenage crime parallels the increase in violence shown on television. According to several national studies, even very young children who watch a great number of television shows featuring violent scenes display more violent behavior within their home environment than do children who do not watch violent shows. Furthermore, in a survey conducted by the Observer, over 90 percent of the respondents were parents who indicated that prime-time television—programs that are shown between 7 p.m. and 9 p.m.—should show less violence. Therefore, in order to lower the rate of teenage crime in Alta, television viewers should demand that television programmers reduce the amount of violence shown during prime time."



Well-presented as the argument is, it isnot exhaustively well-reasoned. The author suggests television programmersreduce the amount of violent scene in prime-time television programs because oftwo subtle parallel affairs: the rise in teenage crime and the increase inviolence shown in television programs. It might make sense at first glance, howeverit has been considerably careless.

However, those parents who have indicatedeliminate violence in prime-time programs neglect the fact that there has beenno direct link between the increase in teenage crime and the rise in violenceshown in television programs. It is of great chance that there have beenenormous families which do not own television sets and many parents whosefamilies had television sets do not allow their children to watch television inprime time. Therefore, the primary observers of programs involving violence areadults. Moreover, among those teenagers who have watched violent televisionprograms, many of them did not commit crimes. Even if some of them commit crimes,such as theft, business crimes and the like, it is likely that the crimes are notcrimes of violence. On the other hand, parents there have kind of overestimatedthe influence of television programs, especially the television programs thatinclude violence.

In the national studies, very youngchildren, the object researchers studied, covers different age from teenagerwhose age ranges from thirteen to twenty. So the study cannot work as a proofof the explanation of increase in the rate of crimes committed by teenagers. Asfor the rate of teenage crime, it is of possibility that the amount of teenagecrime remained unchanged, nonetheless, the amount of crime committed byresidents in the country of Altas in all declined, resulting in a growth in therate of teenage crime. Therefore, the rate of teenage crime may not be sufficientenough to reflect the real status of crime committed by adolescents. What’smore, the violent behavior displayed by very young children whitin their homeenvironment differs a lot from crime committed by teenager. Because it would belikely that violent behavior demonstrated in home circumstance would nottransform into teenage crime. Thus, the violent behavior at home associatesindirectly and inapparently with teenage crime.

A survey of which ninety percentinterviewee has been parents point put that television programs between 7 p.m.and 9 p.m. should showcase less violence, but it is dubious about the quantityof inhabitants have taken part in this poll. It must have been unreliable ifthe citizens who participate in it is inadequate. Furthermore, only a few teenagersare permitted to watch television in prime time, nevertheless, they frequentlywatch television in the afternoon when their parents are still busy with theirworking stuff. Hence, it appears unnecessary to restrain the televisionprograms broadcasted between 7 p.m. and 9 p.m.

As a conclusion, the relation mentionedbetween the increase in rate of crime committed by teenager and the upsurge intelevision programs with violence seems sensible, but it could be unreasonablebecause the author neglect some alternative factors that affects the rate ofteenage crime. Consequently, it might be better once the writer takes theabove-mentioned flaws into consideration.